Crackpot Prophet: Celebrate Birthdays? You Are A Satanist!

Oh, look at God's most highly favored crackpot prophet, absolutely on a tear after his recent itty-bitty Feast of Tabernacles snooze fest. Never in the history of humanity has the world experienced such a perfect, infallible human being—who's basically a direct channel for God's infinite wisdom. We should all kneel down in awe at being in the very presence of this magnificent one!

Given how utterly serious it is to be a living prophet in these terrible end times, our favorite crackpot is perturbed that some Church of God members dare to have a little fun, celebrate birthdays, and—gasp—enjoy some cake. Heck, if Herbert himself celebrated birthdays, why can't the members? Are church members having fun in their lives? Not if Cracky can help it! And even worse, those absolute Satanists who let their little kids dress up for Halloween as princesses or minions!

Cracky Bob writes:

While many are aware of some of the pagan origins of Halloween celebrations, many d0 not realize where the practice of birthday celebrations came from or how they are viewed by certain Satanists.

Back in 1969 Anton Lavey wrote The Satanic Bible. On page 96 (in the 1976 version) it mentions birthdays:

THE highest of all holidays in the Satanic religion is the date of one’s own birth. This is in direct contradiction to the holy of holy days of other religions, which deify a particular god who has been created in an anthropomorphic form of their own image, thereby showing that the ego is not really buried. 

 

The Satanist feels: “Why not really be honest and if you are going to create a god in your image, why not create that god as yourself.” Every man is a god if he chooses to recognize himself as one. So, the Satanist celebrates his own birthday as the most important holiday of the year. After all, aren’t you happier about the fact that you were born than you are about the birth of someone you have never even met? Or for that matter, aside from religious holidays, why pay higher tribute to the birthday of a president or to a date in history than we do to the day we were brought into this greatest of all worlds? 

 

After one’s own birthday, the two major Satanic holidays are Walpurgisnacht and Halloween (or All Hallows’ Eve). (Lavey A, Gilmore P. The Satanic Bible. Avon, September 1, 1976, p. 96–note it is on page 53 of an online version I found also).

Oh, sure, Satanists wear clothes, drive cars, eat food, wash their laundry, have pets, and all that utterly demonic everyday stuff, but does Crackpot Bob ever complain about any of it? Of course not! Instead, he scours the earth until he digs up some minuscule detail that vaguely fits his precious narrative, and then he charges ahead with it like it's profound wisdom, no matter how laughably irrelevant it actually is to the situation.

Hyperventilating in Grover Beach, the Chosen One continues:

It is interesting that birthdays are considered one of the three most important holidays to these Satan worshipers (the two others called Walpurgisnacht and Halloween have pagan ties and are observed by millions who claim to be Christian). While not all Satanists share that view, most celebrate birthdays and those who practice astrology also consider birthdays of vital importance. 

 

The Bible never encourages the celebration of birthdays. Instead, it tends to speak in a negative manner concerning them (cf. Matthew 14:6-11; Jeremiah 20:14-18).

Crackpot Bob diligently searches out all those stories about Herod and Job, but oh so conveniently leaves out how the angels of heaven rejoiced at the birth of Jesus. Those must have been the ones who joined up with Satan in rebellion, because no REAL angel would EVER celebrate the birth of anyone, particularly Jesus! Those had to have been Satan's demons.

Notice how he jumps all over the palce and can never stay on topic:

Now although there is no specific command against the celebration of birthdays in the Bible, the Jewish custom in those days was apparently based on the negative occurrences in the Bible surrounding birthdays, as well as the astrological implications of the celebration of birthdays (pagan practices, like astrology, were specifically prohibited in the law). 

 

No early religious/church writing from the second century that I have seen (and I have read most that are available) seems to endorse (or even suggest) the celebration of birthdays by any who professed Christ either.

Note this from the As Bereans Blog:

"I want you to keep in mind another very important point: Birthdays are not religious celebrations. If they are not religious, then they are not pagan. Pagan, by definition, has to do with religious matters. Pagans can celebrate their birthdays, but birthdays are not by nature pagan.

Birthdays are entirely secular. Birthdays are every bit as secular as the Fourth of July ...the birthday of America. Do you know anyone who condemns secular national holidays like Independence Day, Cinco de Mayo, and etc? I don't. (I'm sure someone out there does.) During my time in Armstrongism, I was never taught to avoid those days. What's the difference? There is none.

Birthdays are just anniversaries. Do you celebrate your wedding anniversary? Then don't throw rocks at birthdays.

Some people will not celebrate the birth of their Lord and Savior but they will celebrate the birth of their nation or their marriage. So, they are not against all birthdays, just specific ones. 

What's more, there are people who say we should not have any celebration that is not specifically commanded in the Bible. Where did they get that notion? Not from the Bible! (Please read Martha's article "Established and Imposed".)

But let's go with that. The new standard is, we can't do anything the Bible doesn't command us to do. Well, the Bible says nothing for or against birthdays. Condemning birthdays is not something we are commanded to do in the Bible! So, why are people doing it? The Bible is neither here nor there about birthday celebrations. It only mentions them as part of the narrative of events. It never says they are good or bad. It seems to me the weakest of all arguments to say if the Bible is against something, don't do it, but if the Bible is not against something, don't do it." Only Pagans Observe Birthdays?

And this:

"It is not true that in the Bible only pagans celebrate their birthdays. Job's kids were faithful. Herod Antipas was a Jew. 

What is true, however, is that only people who explicitly celebrated their birthdays in the Bible were wealthy. Birthdays were for the upper echelons until quite recently, but not because they were rejected as pagan, rather because of societal norms. It seems reasonable to conclude it was the tearing down of social strata in the 1700s and 1800s that led to common birthdays.

Birthdays were not ignored in the Bible. Other birthdays besides the three explicit references are hinted at. Jews are not necessarily against birthdays.

Birthdays are not religious celebrations, they are secular, therefore they are not able to be "pagan" any more than Independence Day or wedding anniversaries.

Origen tried to apply guilt by association, but he misunderstood who kept a birthday in the Bible as well as what the nature of uncleanness is in Leviticus. We know the accusation that only pagans observed birthdays is false. We don't find it compelling to stop just because someone was killed on the day. We know the uncleanness was ceremonial only, and does not apply in the New Covenant. So, any guilt by association is removed.

What is left? Nothing much at all. I would say birthday celebrations come out rather clean in this investigation. Seems to me that makes the answer 'yes'. Yes, Christians may celebrate birthdays.

Were you accused of being a pagan for celebrating a birthday? You can see it was a baseless accusation, made by someone parroting something they heard but did not genuinely understand. People will accuse you of paganism for many things besides just birthdays. If you are considering giving up birthdays because someone accused you of paganism, don't fool yourself that it will help. You will only find you are accused for something else. It is an endless chase. In the end, will you find grace and peace?" Only Pagans Observe Birthdays?

Crackpot Bob absolutely needs to master the fine art of keeping his mouth shut about everyday life and stop shoving his nose into everything that doesn't concern him. After all, he's nothing more than a walking encyclopedia of Armstrongite literature, regularly regurgitating it all over everyone just to spread sheer joy—by which I mean, to make people utterly miserable.

A Timely Repost: Church Member Bill of Rights

                                                              By Dennis Diehl

The following are basic human, religious and spiritual rights any person has as a member of any and all religious organizations or church congregations.

====================

You have the right to expect the church to keep your personal contributions private and should be able to expect that any who deal with such things for accounting purposes will do the same.

You have the right to expect that your membership in any church or congregation is not contingent on how much you give or do not give. You should also expect that jobs, positions, opportunities or offices are not given based on the amount anyone gives to the church.

You have the right to say I can only give this even if it is not a tithe of your income gross or net.

You have the right not to be spiritually judged or have your loyalty or sincerity questioned based on what you are able or unable to give financially to the church.

You have the right to ask a Pastor if he checks tithes and offerings for any of the above reasons before giving to a church.

You have the right to say “I’m tired and won’t be there, ” to any and all activities, plays, fundraisers, studies, seminars, prayer groups, rehearsals, practices and sermons.

You have the right to say “I don’t care about that.”

You have the right to question the advice, counsel or sermon of any minister, elder, deacon or any other person in authority.

You have the right to question authority and to still expect to be allowed to attend your church.

You have the right to question a minister who declares himself one or both of the Two Witnesses of Revelation, a Prophet, the Supreme Watcher of Mankind for God, The Only True Apostle in this Age and any other title or position he can come up with to impress you as to why you need to support him.

You have the right to suggest a pastor get spiritual or psychological help should the need arise.

You have the right tell him that the congregation is noticing a trend here.

You have the right to ask why the church believes what it does when the Bible might say otherwise, or why the Bible says something that the church practices that seems scary, weird, inappropriate for this time, out of date or controlling.

You have the right to notice that ministers often quote scriptures out of context or fail to enforce or address the rest of the story that does not agree with the point they are trying to make.

You have the right to ask all the “how can that be,” “how could that happen,” “why does it say this here and that there,” questions you can come up and expect an intelligent answer. If you are told that you are using human reasoning, ask the pastor what kind of reasoning he uses. If he says “God’s,” find another church.

You have the right to not want elders, deacons or your friends accompanying the minister on visits to your home to talk to you.

You have the right to discuss or not discuss your life with the minister as you see fit.

You have the right to expect absolute confidentiality and for your story not to show up in the sermon next week, even though “I won’t say the name.”

You have a right to be called ahead of time when the pastor wants to ask about stopping over.

You have the right, when he calls to say, “I’m tired,” “I’m busy,” “No, but I appreciate the call,” without repercussions.

You have the right to keep a dirty home, grass not mowed perfectly, an older car, red in color and kids that don’t say “yes sir, nice to see you sir,” in just the right way.

You have the right to watch and read what you wish even if the pastor just got done bashing that particular program, movie or book from the pulpit in his sermon on “Demons in Your Home–Six Ways to Assure Your Eternal Death.”

You have the right to ask the pastor not to call on you at work, even if you own the business.

You have the right to say, “I can’t afford to take you to lunch.” “I can’t afford to give you free wood or brick.” “I can’t afford to fix your house up free,” “I can’t fix all your teeth,” to your pastor should he expect professional courtesies, even if he offers to do your funeral free.

You have a right to expect free use of your church for weddings and funerals.

You have the right to expect these usages are not dependent on you, your parents or children living a sinless life six months prior to the date of the event.

You have the right not to answer questions your pastor may ask you or your children about your sexual practices. If he insists, then insist that you all share together. Y

You have the right to not let the pastor inform you as to who you can and cannot date or marry.

You have the right to enjoy your sexuality free of church or pastoral approval. Something that is wrong for the pastor is not necessarily wrong for you in how you express yourself to your partner. There is no Bible prohibition against….well you know. And if there were, you’d have the right to disagree with that too.

You have the right to not share which or if you are taking medications of any sort with the pastor.

You have the right to take such medication and not be judged as having a lack of faith or trust in God to heal you.

You have the right to seek professional help without informing your Pastor of the nature of the help and you have the right to not be helped solely by the pastor under threat of repercussions.

You have the right to insist the pastor get professional help should the need arise and the man is causing more harm than good.

You have the right to remind him that God does not directly speak to him nor express His will only through the mind of the pastor and that makes you uncomfortable if he thinks that is so.

You have the right to be wrong about a many things. You have the right to believe you are correct about many things without repercussions.

You have the right not to care about everything that others think you must care about to be a good Christian. You have the right to tell the pastor he is wrong, mistaken or exaggerating. You have the right to dress as you wish, wear the jewelry you wish and make up you wish or not wish without being labeled a whore or a goody goody.

You have the right to feel that dressing as if it was still 1957 and only watching Disney Movies or How the West Was Won as proof of your pureness is baloney.

You have the right to not be told that the best times for entertainment, movies and TV was when the Pastor was a boy.

You have the right to like the food he does not like and to not like the foods he does. You have the right to like the schools he doesn’t and not like the ones he does.

You have the right not to bear your soul to the ministers wife.

You have the right to like or not like, agree or not agree with the ministers wife.

You have the right to not view the world through the pastor’s eyes morally or politically.

You have the right to hate the war while he believes the war in Israel, Gaza or Iraq is God’s will and thinks it’s all in the Bible.

You have the right to expect him to speak clearly where he thinks the Bible speaks for us today and to walk slowly and drink cool water where it doesn't.

You have the right to tell the pastor that that is his opinion and not necessarily the only true opinion on earth.

You have the right for you, your children, your partner and your friends to be themselves. These are but a few of the rights any member of any Church, congregation or religious organization has. In short, you have the right to not be required to check your brains, your insights, your perspectives and your free will at the door to be welcome and a member of any church.

Craig White addresses the lack of resources in the COG in resolving internal disputes.

 

Craig White sent out an email today addressing the lack of resources for COG members to resolve internal disputes, air grievances, and have their voice heard in certain matters.

He says:

Greetings,

 

This Bible study explores the authentic interpretation of 1 Corinthians 6:1-11, emphasising Paul's rebuke of Corinthian believers for resolving internal disputes in secular courts. Drawing on historical context, the author argues that early Christian communities, modelled after first century synagogue structure, incorporated impartial judicial systems (bet din) for civil matters which is essential for righteous Biblical governance. The study critiques modern abuses in Churches—such as bias, slander, and perjury—highlighting the absence of neutral panels and courts, which forces members to secular recourse despite Paul's ideal of internal arbitration by "wise" saints destined to judge the world and angels.

 

Commentaries from scholars are surveyed, affirming the passage's focus on civil (not criminal) disputes. Basic principles advocate Matthew 18 conflict resolution, forgiveness, and Godly mediation, but permit legal action for serious abuses like defamation, victimisation or harassment when church mechanisms fail or are corrupted by bias and slander. A proposed tiered court system—local, regional, and top-level—with neutral, diverse juries, training, appeals, and anti-perjury safeguards is outlined to ensure justice, impartiality, and adherence to Biblical mandates. Ultimately, the study calls for restorative processes to prevent flock scattering, affirming secular courts' legitimacy (per Romans 13).

 

Nobody wants to go this far, but there are times people being harassed and intimidated have to pursue their God-given rights when the internal system of the group breaks down and there is bias, prejudice and beliefs that ministers have always have to win, no matter the consequences such as the scattering of the flock.

 

In the Bible study What is Justice? it was demonstrated that impartial courts are found throughout the Bible, but this principle has been sadly lacking in the Churches of God.

 

In this follow-up Bible study, we explore the necessity of having courts in fulfillment of the Scripture under discussion (I Corinthians 6:1-11).

 

Feedback direct to me is appreciated.

 

Regards to all,

Craig

The pdf article is here:  The Real Meaning of I Corinthians 6:1-11

What is your opinion on this?

Dave Pack Insults His Few Remaining Ministers

During "The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 593)" Given On September 5, 2025, David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God explains why he can't delegate some of his messages to his ministers. His "compliment" to his ministers very quickly turns into a brutal insult. He states his ministers don't contribute anything and can't because they are not chosen by God and therefore can't see what he sees in the Bible. He claims to be Elijah and states that only he can restore all things. What is the point of baptism and receiving the Holy Spirit as they teach if you can't read the Bible and see or understand Prophecy yourself?

exRestoredCOG