Why Psychopaths in the Church of God Can't Love their Children

There have been many great discussions on various COG Facebook pages from people where were abused by parents and ministers as they grew up.  With so many narcissists and psychopaths in leadership positions of various COG's it has lead to some horrendous stories being revealed, particularly by children of psychopath parents in the church, whether members or ministers.

Here's Why Psychopaths Are Unable to Love Their Own Children

The effects are devastating.
by Lindsay Dodgson

 

"Narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths do not have a sense of empathy, they do not and will not develop a sense of empathy, so they can never really love anyone," she told Business Insider.

This doesn't change when they have children. There's no primal instinct to protect and encourage their offspring, because they are not seen as a separate entity. They are merely a tool which is at their disposal.

"DTPs tend to see children as an extension of themselves and a possession," Neo said.

"So rather than saying, 'I'm going to nurture you so you can grow up to be the amazing person you're meant to be,' [they say] 'you're supposed to grow up and do this so that you're my trophy.'"

This is very different from the environment a child in a healthy family would grow up in. Instead of being nurtured and taught the ways of the world, a child of a DTP parent grows up not knowing their own sense of self.

"'I can check your phone, I can do anything I want to do, I can just barge into your room, basically not respecting your sense of property,'" is what Neo said DTP personalities believe.

"There are no emotional boundaries, either. So the children grow up not really sure about what boundaries are."

The child is expected to fill all kinds of functions they shouldn't have to. For example, narcissists tend to be very unhappy people, with low self esteem, so they unload a lot of unnecessary emotional baggage onto their children.

They are used as a listening ear for the parent's problems, and a source of emotional comfort.

This continues over the years, and Neo says some of her clients have said their parents told them: "The only reason I had you was so you could take care of me for the rest of your life."

"You're not allowed to have children, and you're not allowed to get married," she added. "The parent would be meddling in all these different relationships, left right and centre, creating all sorts of drama, so the child stays single."

'The child is expected to be a punching bag'

Throughout their life, the child is also expected to be a punching bag, either physically or emotionally. This becomes harder as the child grows older, because they become stronger and more aware, so the DTP parent will counteract this by hacking away at their self esteem.

"As the parents grows older, and their health starts to decline, their sense of self esteem becomes really shaky," Neo said.

"Then the child grows up, becomes strong, becomes powerful, has more of a sense of self, and it's very difficult for the parent to watch. So there becomes this unhealthy competition, putting the child down, telling the child they're fat, they're useless, they're ugly."

At the same time, whenever the child accomplishes something, the parent has to take credit for it.

For example, they would mention the fact the child is a very good trumpet player, and the only reason is because they scrimped and saved for lessons for years, even if this may not be true.

"Every single thing is always brought back to them," Neo said. "So the child is brought up thinking, 'I have no sense of self, I have no say, and I do not matter.'"

The 'golden child' vs. the scapegoat

The dynamics shift depending on how many children the DTP has.

Sometimes, DTPs will have more than one child, and Neo says it is remarkable how often the same power dynamics play out in these families. In most cases, one child becomes the golden child, who can do no wrong.

"The child can live in fear, because all they want to do is please mummy or daddy so there's no trouble - so they will be loved," Neo said. "So they get this reward and it's almost transactional."

Then the second child is used as a scapegoat, and is blamed for everything. So much so, that the DTP parent will enjoy playing the children off against each other, and create unnecessary competition.

If there is a third child, Neo says they become the "lost boy" or the "lost girl", who is neglected and more or less completely ignored.

"If you watch the families and see the traits of narcissistic parents, this is often what plays out," Neo said.

"Essentially, it's designed to keep the self esteem of the child low, so the child will always stay small and as a possession, and there's a lot of dictatorship over what a child can or cannot do because it's all about the parents' sense of self."

Read the entire article here: Here's Why Psychopaths Are Unable to Love Their Own Children

LCG: Do the Homeless and Hopeless Find Comfort In "Concern and Compassion?"

Living Church of God wants you to know that it is doing all it can to assist the homeless and those who have no hope.  Just exactly what is it doing?  Are members volunteering in local homeless shelters?  Are they making hot meals for the homeless?  Does LCG open its doors to its meeting halls in the winter to shelter the homeless and feed them? What about those without hope in their own town of Charlotte?  Is the church contributing to international organizations that assist war refugees?

What do you think they are doing?

Here is what they are doing. As they are ensconced in their warm homes after a hearty meal, they are to think about those who are homeless, displaced and without hope.  That apparently is a great comfort to those in need and alleviates LCG members from actually having to associate with a dirty urine-stained homeless person or to really provide comfort to a person who no longer has any hope in life.

When has Rod McNair ever washed a homeless person's feet or fed one of them a hot meal?  When has Gerald Weston stooped down to care for a homeless veteran laying on the sidewalk?  When have the students at the most incredible "university" in the world volunteered at a homeless shelter or worked a suicide prevention hot line?  When has the elite ministry of the church ever gotten their hands dirty or their suits soiled?

Wiping away a tear as you watch some tragedy on the news as you "feel" concern is nothing like putting your feet to the pavement and doing beneficial deeds.

Oh wait, I forgot!  God's going to fix it all in the end, so why waste resources on the homeless when it can be better used to publish the Tomorrow's World magazine.  Most LCG ministers will totally miss the irony in that.  God forbid if they might actually have to get off their pampered butts to bring a foretaste of that Kingdom to the world today.

Homeless and Hopeless: How many people long for a place to call home? How many people globally do have a place they call home? According to a new United Nations study, “One person [is] forced to flee their home every three seconds by war and violence” (The Guardian, June 19, 2017). This translates into over 65 million displaced persons in 2016! The study notes that the majority of these displaced people are refugees and half of them are children! If you have a peaceful place to call home, do you realize how blessed you are?  Are you able to feel concern and compassion for the tens of millions who are on the move, living in unsafe and unsanitary conditions? Stable homes and families are two criteria that are used to identify the ever-elusive human state of peace. Peace is something that everyone seeks and few are able to truly attain. Government agencies and politicians strive for peace, but often little is achieved. The prophet Jeremiah warned that the time would come when the leaders of the world would claim “‘Peace, peace!’ when there is no peace” (Jeremiah 6:14; 8:11, 15). However, Jesus Christ is going to return to this earth and usher in a true time of peace in the Kingdom of God (Isaiah 9:6-7). The God of the Bible states about this exciting future, “My people will dwell in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings [homes], and in quiet resting places” (Isaiah 32:18). 

The Great Joy When Leaving The Church

From Exit and Support.

A person describes the joy they have when leaving the abusive Philadelphia Church of God.   This is the same joy that thousands have shared on different FB pages as they talk how their lives have been since leaving the church.

June 29, 2017
I don't even know where to begin. It's so difficult to summarize my experience and sort out how I'm feeling about everything that this so called "church" has put me, my family, and countless others through. The abuses that we undergo are covered up kept hush-hush and resolved through gossip started by who knows. I started becoming very skeptical when my own family began to be ripped apart by the ministry, who were not to be questioned ever! Every problem was pushed back on us not having it all together, or not praying and studying. No biblical proof was offered, just the opinion of a man who thought he spoke with God's authority--although certainly not with God's LOVE. It's so clear to me now why no one was ever allowed to compare stories or talk about counseling sessions. They did not want us comparing notes on our interactions with the ministry.  

But my last service was when our local minister aired all my family's dirty laundry in front of the congregation, blaming everything on my father's inability to lead. Taking no responsibility for his own interference and meddling. FURIOUS. I left knowing I'd never be back. I told no one and refused to talk to anyone after. A clean cut was the best resolve for me. I was so sick of being dragged into everyone's drama when I had no part in it. And I was certainly tired of feeling beaten down--not good enough and chastised every week at services. Also, if I missed a week, I felt like a child being scolded. I wish I'd left sooner. No, I wish I never would have attended at all.  

Since I've been out, I've been happier than I thought possible. I'm happy to let God judge me. At least it will be true justice. If anyone is considering leaving, do it now. I waited years and regret it deeply. I will mourn family left in and pray they leave. --Raised in WCG; joined PCG as adult

I Know More Than The Apostles And The Prophets Of Old! I Am Super Dave!

Super Dave

Dave's own words:

I want to hold up a tool here and explain something that is coming, and you can maybe appreciate from afar little more than the fact that it is a long list, two pages. A list of the sequence of events from now till we’re inside the final phase of the Kingdom of God. Absolutely everything that is going to happen, I have put into a list that I’m told everybody will be thrilled to see. I actually got the idea before I heard from Mr. Kaidannek and some others how much you brethren here and around the world would love such a list. Well, it now exists. It’s currently got 83 separate points on it, and I’ll selectively read a few just so you can kind of appreciate… 

Point number 12: The first two shepherds are cut off inside a month from Christ’s Coming. 

Point 43: The famine of the Word occurs in Judea only, with the Gospel continuing worldwide and also in nations of Israel. 

Point 67: The whole house of Israel, billions, is resurrected. 

And there are many, many other details in here…I would say down to almost exquisite detail…that form a single list, in order of everything that is going to happen from the very book of Daniel being unsealed, which is the first thing on the list, all the way to the Kingdom of God has come in its full and final form, and what that means. 

So, before I give it to the Church, I would like all of you to know that, because of what’s at stake—and, I’m going to release it. There’s never been a document like it. Nobody has ever put all these things together. The list is still growing, and therefore, I want it to be…number one, thorough. I want it to be crystal clear and easy to read, and I want it to be right. And so, before we give it to you, I want to be sure that I have achieved those three goals. 

Probably, there will be a few verses included here and there in various places on the list, and in most cases though, there will not be, because every teaching aid cannot contain everything or it would be just massive. But when you put them all together, then all these aids that we’re producing provide all the answers that people want. If they want detail, they can…they can, of course, read the transcripts. 

There is a point up to which this project would be too thin, not any meat on the bones, and therefore, not as useful as it could be. There is a point past which, maybe it’s sort of a range in there, a place past which it’s too much, too long and too detailed. So I want to strike that balance as well and leave you with something that is enormously helpful. It will cause a firestorm in the splinters, I promise you. Tens of thousands, scores of thousands of people will see it. It will be eventually, I’m sure, shared far and wide in places we can’t imagine. Hence, again, the need for it to be thorough, clear and right. 

Nothing, again, like it obviously could have ever been produced before because first, the prophets, who were prophets, did not understand even what the apostles were taught by Christ personally. The apostles did not understand what John was taught, in the book of Revelation, after they’d all died. John didn’t understand what Mr. Armstrong came to know 2,000 years later, essentially—19 centuries later—because he saw various heads of the beasts in Daniel line up with Revelation, and he saw the Church eras play out, and he could speak with a greater authority. But let’s face it, Mr. Armstrong did not understand anything that’s been in the last 64…Now here is Part 65…sermons in the newness of those parts. He understood much of it, of course, where we’ve referenced things. So there never has been or ever will be a tool like this again, and I’ll just say one last time, hence the need that it is thorough, clear and right.