Wednesday, April 17, 2019

The legacy of those who walk in lies, and not truth



Every once in a while someone decides to get their knickers in a knot, and throw down self-assured threats of condemnation, supposed curses, and attacks in their self-righteous zeal of those who do not exactly go along with their views on the Church, on God, or generally the way that they think things should be done. Usually, people aren't quite so rambunctious with their supposed "zeal", but when the hornet's nest gets knocked on, the angry wasps come out to sting. 

What is amusing to me is the amount of power and authority that they like to believe that they have. They are so certain of themselves and their calling, and that they are so right, that they have no issue declaring judgements in God's name against others. They almost are giddy with glee about watching their enemies face the wrath of their God, watching with joy and jubilation as "lightnings bare the earth, men see and shake", and those who speak out against their god's church melt into vapors in the lake of fire they are certain God will condemn them to. 

I am reminded of many examples of those who also have been certain of Armstrongism who have, in their belief, have issued "curses" and "judgements" on those who don't defend their belief systems. One of these was Ronald Weinland, a former minister of the old Worldwide Church of God who went rogue and started his own Church - the Church of God, Preparing for the Kingdom of God. It was eleven years ago - 2008 - when he predicted Christ's return, and in the process, proclaimed himself as one of the Two Witnesses. With this newfound authority, he would curse his detractors, even saying they would - paraphrased - die from the inside out. Of course, all of his threats and curses were totally empty and without any authority. Every one of his predictions did not happen, and slowly, his entire ministry turned out to be founded on a bed of lies and false judgements. As for Weinland himself, he is now a felon with a conviction on tax evasion. His church? The last I heard, things were not going so well at all for the sad man. 

I am reminded of another example of a Church of God pastor who would claim divine power through a self-proclaimed rank of "Apostleship". Dave Pack, leader of the Restored Church of God, would often use fear as a tool of power in his ministry. He, also, would make wild predictions and speculations - only to have them spectacularly fail. After they failed, his statements in print would then be redacted, as if they never happened. Another ministry founded on a bed of lies and deceit. 

The passion and zeal of individuals like these two is not isolated. Others who also have had an excess of zeal include a man named James Malm, and a man named Bob Thiel - both attempting to predict, and both claiming the same exact title and rank of authority. Of course, the bar always is in the future and never materializes into the present. Even bigger corporate Church of God leaders have done the same thing, with, of course, the same results. Others have tamed down and seem to be a little cautious to "pull the trigger" on divine utterance and knowledge - learning to effectively use disclaimers of chance as an easy out of denial if (and when) it is needed. 

All of this stems from the very beginning of Armstrongism, also founded on wild, rampant, fear-mongering speculations, judgement, and condemnation against others who do not share the same beliefs as those who carried it's deceitful message. If Armstrongism had been truthful, honest, Godly, and forthright, there would be no record to be shown of the horrific amount of absolute judgement, condemnation, arrogance, pride, greed, squalor, envy, immorality, wickedness, corruption, anger, intolerance, abuse, and hatred coming from the very ones claiming God's truth. Yet God's truth does not engage in a bed of lies, and God's truth does not masquerade in a web of deceit, anger, and materialism. It is by these standards - the standards of truth against those who claim their divine calling - that one must hold while testing whether or not one is from God, or not. 

One can claim their "truth" against their standards of judgement: Holy Days, Sabbaths, and the name of the Church. Yet against these standards lie volumes of records of charges of exactly the above in the last paragraph that are the true judge of what is godly and what isn't. Jesus said, "You shall know them by their fruits." Jesus also said, "By this shall all men know that you are My Disciples if you love one another." Jesus also said, "A new command I give you, love one another." And finally, Jesus said that those who will not inherit the Kingdom are not charged with violation of Holy day and Sabbath keeping - but the fruits of evil which include liars, idolaters, immorality, and greed. All of which are rampant in Armstrongism that claims to hold the truth but instead holds the fruits of Satan. 

If certain members of Armstrongism want to get on here, with their accusations, with their curses, with their judgements, with their arrogance and pride, dripping with desire of harm and hate against those who simply disagree - so be it! It does not bother me, nor does it bother others here. Say what you want. Because what you say is not truth. It is wrong, it is lies, and it is empty. I will say directly to you: You have zero Godly powers, zero authority, and you are not feared. Because the truth says you are wrong. And the truth sets us free. The truth is the standard. It is, after all, the truth that stands as the post to the narrow gate. Those whom are ignorant of the truth of history, and the truth of what scripture says, are ignorant of reality and susceptible to nothing but deceit, delusion, and deception. This will be the legacy of those who walk in lies, and not truth. 

This does not need to be. Walk in truth. Cast out judgement. Live in love. And be free.

Submitted by SHT

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

The MYCOG APP!!!

When the Laodicieans realized they
 should have downloaded the MY COG App!

  • Turn off all text notifications from Sunset Friday to Sunset Saturday night! Restricts calls from "Worldly people" from sunset to sunset. Finish your calls early, because the phone WILL cut your conversation cold! 

  • Autopay tithes directly to the COG! Simply add in your bank routing number or DirectPay, and the App will automatically deduct 10% of your income into the Church Headquarters - and another 10% Directly into the Festival Fund account for your second tithe! Now, you don't have to  worry about the Tithe of the Tithe - the app will take care of that for you! Third tithe years are automatically calculated for your convenience, and deducted every third year from your date of Baptism! Tithing could never be easier! PLUS, you can select your offering amount! Simply press $50, $75, or $100 choices from the App for Auto-Offering! It just can't be easier!
  • Dating has never been easier with the My Date feature! Eligible singles will appear directly on your App! Simply press "I Want to Date Her" and the App will forward the request directly to the Local Pastor. You should get a notice if your date was approved or rejected within one week! The App also features Dating Reports, progress reports, and surveys that monitor your morality with your special person. 

  • Register directly for the Feast of Tabernacles! Simply input all of your Feast of Tabernacles registration information and at exactly the right date and at the right time, the App will submit your information directly to the Festival Office! You will then get the detailed itinerary including your Motel, Rate, Festival Location, Site, and events! No more work for you! You will also have the number of your Festival Coordinator right at your fingertips! 

  • Sick? Simply push “I'm Sick” and an Elder will send you a “Virtual Anointing Cloth”! Just Pray and Touch! No more need to call your Elder when the App will call your Elder for you! You can have faith you have been prayed for! 

  • Get a full list of all unclean and clean foods right on your phone! Are you unsure? The App has the name and photo of every unclean and clean meat you can think of! No more excuses! 

  • Get recipes for Unleavened Bread right on your phone! The Church Unleavened Bread Recipe Cookbook has it all! You can randomize, or search for whatever recipe you wish. There's even a Church Potluck Recipe Feature so you can make something different than Vegetarian Baked Beans! 

  • Unsure if something unleavened is OK? Take a picture of it, send it to the App, and the App will determine if it is ok or not! 

  • Having problems with unconverted people trying to talk to you? COGBlock will block their numbers with one push! Simply press "Ignore Heathen" and no more contact with a Heathen! 

  • Ready to get baptized? Press “I'm Ready” and a minister will contact you to discuss your options! Be Warned though! The "Baptism" feature will not be enabled unless your minister believes you are ready first. If he believes you are, the "I'm Ready" icon will be lit. 

  • Volunteering for Sabbath Duties has never been easier! Simply enter your service role, to avoid one being assigned for you! You can choose from Duties that are adjusted for your specific Rank - attendee, member, Pillar, Deacon, Member. Any open positions will show immediately and be ready for you to fill!

  • Single? The Singles Feature will give you a list of all singles activities in your area! Make sure you meet your monthly quota of Singles Activities!

  • Club member? Enter the Club Portal to access the Virtual Handbook, and the App Timer for your speeches!Practice Tongue Twisters, like Theophilus Thistle or Suzy Sells Sea Shells! 

  • Is it Atonement? Our app will detect how close you are to the fridge, and blast a WARNING if you get too close or open the door!Be careful, it will send the results to your minister, so stay away from the fridge!

  • Is it Trumpets? Our App will sound trumpet blasts at Sunset, fulfilling the sounding of the Trumpets! You can choose from 5 types of Trumpet Blasts - and even a Shofar! 

  • Is it the Sabbath? Our App will let you choose between YA music, Orchestra Classics, or Strauss Arrangements for your listening pleasure! From Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah to the Hallelujah Chorus, All the Sabbath Music is there for you! 

  • Can't make it to Church? Simply take a picture of the problem, and our Ministers will determine if your excuse is valid! 

  • Child won't listen to you? MYCOG will video-conference in your minister to tell your child to listen to YOU!If your minister is unavailable, a DEACON will fill in - and your child never wants to be yelled at by a DEACON! 

  • Shut in? Our video library of sermons is for you! (Sermon will auto-destruct after you hear it, and will not play in public areas outside of your home!)

  • Can't Sleep? Choose from light Piano, to Droning Sermons, to The WaterHouse effect! Sleep is guaranteed!
  • NOTES! Take notes directly on MYCOG! Automatically input scriptures with the tap of a button. Then, review them weekly!Be zealous! 

  • BIBLE INSTRUCTION! MYCOG combines the AC CORRESPONDENCE COURSE with the BIBLE! Now, you get the WHOLE TRUTH in one convenient application!King James Version and the Original 57 Course together! 

  • PROPHECY! Get World News and Prophecy in one convenient place! We'll tell you what's going on, and just how close we are now to The Great Return! It may look like its repeatiing, but beleive us when we tell you it is not! 

  • GAMES! Play Straighten the Chairs, Move the Podium, or Making Unleavened Goodies right on your phone! Build a Millennial City and Manage Your Planet! Play THE TALENT GAME with other COG members around the world online!Arrange flowers around the Podium! Take your hand at flapping your arms, you song leader-wanna be! How many chicken wings can you flap without tiring? Can you keep from taking off through the Gymnasium roof? 

  • Youth Educational Lessons! Right on your phone! From Samson to Methuselah to Rebekah and Leah - it's all there! 

  • PRAYER REQUESTS right on your App! Simply type in your request, and your minister will approve it, and badabing! It's on! 
  • IN A MARITAL DISPUTE? Click “DISPUTE” on your phone to invite your minister to conference in right then and there! 

  • COG RINGTONES! Have Dwight be your ringtone, choose from 128 different selections! Choose from MIDI format, Grand Piano, or Kazoo and Fluteaphone! 

  • ARE YOU A SONG LEADER? Send your Pastor and Pianist your song choices directly from the App! 

  • ARE YOU A SPEAKER? Our built in teleprompter will help you speak right from the App right on the Podium! Complete with Timer! Couldn't be easier! 

  • ARE YOU A PRAYER GIVER? Our scripted prayers will help you give the perfect opening and closing prayers! The Proximity Sensor will flash yellow if you are TOO CLOSE TO THE MICROPHONE! IT WILL BEEP LOUD SO STAY AWAY FROM THE MICROPHONE!

  • ARE YOU A DEACON? ELDER? PASTOR? Then upgrade to MYCOGELITE! With special top-secret functions for the Minister in You to help you micro-manage your MEMBERS! 

  • HAVE TEENS? Put MYCOG on their phones to SHUT THEM OFF during services! The MYCOG App will also listen to detect if they are engaging in forbidden things, and will sound a DWIGHT ARMSTRONG SONG LOUDLY if it hears matching sound algorithms!

  • ARE YOU DRESSED OK FOR CHURCH? The MYCOG App will tell you! Simply snap a selfie of yourself, it will tell you if you are dressed appropriately or not! 

  • ARE YOU FOUL MOUTHED? The MYCOG App will listen for foul language, and warn you if you slip up! Beware, any foul words will be sent to your minister! 

  • UNMARRIED PEOPLE! TEMPTED TO FIDDLE WITH YOUR FADDLE? THE MYCOG APP WILL DETECT FIDDLING AND SOUND AN ALARM AND CALL YOUR MINISTER TO TELL YOU TO STOP FIDDLING WITH YOUR FADDLE! THIS WILL STOP YOU FOR SURE! 
AND SO MUCH MORE!!!! GET YOUR MYCOG APP TODAY!!!!!!!

COG's released from all liability. By using this app you waive any legal recourse and blah blah blah. Trust us, you'll be okay. Have we ever wronged you?

by SHT