Dave Pack: Contradictions a Plenty

Sabbath Services At Home, COG Style

Well, good Sabbath afternoon brethren. Beautiful weather we're having here today. Thanks for moving the lamp over, and please turn off the TV. Thank you very much, and take the dog out. 

Well, would you all move the coffee table and rise. Turn with me in whatever hymnal you have to Onward Armstrong Church of God, a very fitting song these days for sure, Onward Armstrong Church of God. 

I said PLEASE SOMEONE TAKE THAT DOG OUT! 

Ahem. *raises arms* 

All together. You, please sing softly, because you can't hold a tune in a bucket. *smiles*

Here we go. 

Onward, Armstrong Church of God

In hotel room doors

With the word of Herbert

Groups of three or four

Herb, their royal Master,

Word against the world,

All the other ministers,

Eyebrows strongly furled, 

(Chorus)

Onward, Armstrong Church of God

Not knowing where to go

With the word of Herbert

Whimpered out the door. 

Like a puny whoopee cushion (6-year old laughs)

Moves the Splinter cults

Fighting with each other

How are they adults? 

They are so divided

Ripped and torn to see

Broken up and Fractured up

What a joke to see

Onward, Armstrong Church of God

Groups of three or four 

With the word of Herbert

Whimpered out the door.

*THE DOG IS BARKING AT THE BACK DOOR! PLEASE LET HIM IN AND TAKE HIM TO THE KENNEL DOWNSTAIRS!!* *Ahem*....

Onward, then, ye Armstrongites;

Join our grumpy throng.

Blend with ours your voices

In the Dwighty song:

Stubble, Coals of Juniper

Through the windows leap

3 to 5 more years to go, 

so says prophecy...

Onward, Armstrong Church of God

Groups of three or four 

With the word of Herbert

Whimpered out the door.

BEAUTIFUL BEGINNING, BRETHREN!

Sorry about the lawnmower, today's mowing day for the neighbor.............

Now let's turn to another hymn, "No, We Never Said That, That's Not What We Meant".

submitted by SHT

God's Most Highly Favored Prophet Is Now The Worlds Most Knowledgable Scientist

Only in Armstrongism can we produce so many blithering idiots.  Bwana Bob Theil is no more a legitimate scientist than he is a prophet or end-time leader of "God's" church.

COGwriterAs a scientist, I have long known that proponents of evolution treat the subject more like a religious view than a scientific theory. This is somewhat also what the Ben Stein movie Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed revealed years ago (see Ben Stein’s Expelled).
Evolution is not scientific.

Bwana Scifi Bob then goes on to quote an article about a Yale scientist who stopped believing in evolution.

His next comment was this:

Sadly, society has been infested with the false religion of evolution. 

A more accurate comment should have been made:

Sadly, soceity has been infested with the false religion of Armstrongism. 

Behold, It's Really Not a Mystery: Using Prophetic Speculation to Deny Reality

“It is necessary to meditate early, and often, on the art of dying to succeed later in doing it properly just once.”
― Umberto Eco, The Island of the Day Before

Sam Harris on Death

2:43

Have the Splits, Splinters and Slivers Ever Noticed:

Herbert W. Armstrong

Dead

Garner Ted Armstrong

Dead

Roderick C Meredith

Dead

Dean Blackwell

Dead 

Leslie McCollough

Dead

A personal philosophical photo shoot in downtown Greenville, SC

Dr Hoeh

Dead

Clint Zimmerman

Dead

Chuck Zimmerman

Dead

Carlton Smith 

Dead

Ian Boyne

Dead

Burk McNair

Dead

Marion  McNair

Dead

Art Mokarow

Dead

Ron Dart

Dead

Bob League

Dead

John Halford

Dead

Bernie Schnippert 

Dead

Leroy Neff

Dead

Dennis Luker

Dead

Charles Hunting

Dead

Dibar Apartian

Dead

Raymond McNair

Dead

David Jon Hill

Dead

Howard Clark

Dead

Ernest Martin 

Dead

...and so on and on and on.

The All Too Painful Truth

We shall all not sleep...um...yes we will

...and too

"Behold the day will come..."

Dave Pack

In Bankruptcy

Gerald Flurry

Any Minute

Ron Weinland

Clutching his gold and diamonds in the bathtub with the Prophetess

Gerald Weston

Of Boredom

Bob Thiel

Of a swollen head

James Malm

Of Legalitis

Joe Tkach Jr

Drown swimming with too many Rolex Watches on at one time.

Myself
Being in Therapeutic Massage I probably will get rubbed out

:)

Don't let the True Fragment Churches of  God Steal Your Actual Life and Time on the Planet

Live-Laugh-Love

...and hurry  :)

Part Three: The Room

by Ripley Johnson

The Worldwide Church of God only owned a handful of physical properties and church buildings. Its members met in a wide variety of rented facilities. WCG members that lived anywhere too far from WCG HQ in Pasadena, California or the Ambassador College in Big Sandy, Texas had their weekly church services in thousands of different locations over the years.  

I remember lots of different places that the WCG used for church services when I was little. There was my favorite place, The Garden Center, located in Downtown Dallas, Texas very close to the Aquarium. The Garden Center was amazingly beautiful. (I remember lush beautiful plants everywhere, outdoor gardens, water features… oh man it was so perfect. Sometimes there would be a wedding ceremony with a potluck reception and dancing after church services were over. Those Saturdays were the best!) But it for whatever reason, the rental agreement ended and we moved on to other spaces for our unusually long Saturday services. I remember several school auditoriums and/or gymnasiums, a Chiropractic college that was formerly a Baptist church, a few other places that I was too young to identify, and the place I hated the most out of all of them, the VFW event hall.

All of these places were distinctly different and had their own features that the WCG congregation would adapt to their own needs. One feature that you could always find in every rented WCG space around the world was something called “The Mother’s Room.” Even just thinking about the term “Mother’s Room” puts a knot in my stomach and I get an overwhelming desire to crawl under the nearest table and hide.

The Mother’s Room was a place for three specific events. 

1. Changing diapers2. Nursing babies3. Beating children

Imagine a room that smelled like a hundred dirty diapers and was full of the sounds of angry women’s voices, the smacking of wood on bare skin, and children screaming in terror.

If you think it sounds like the stuff of nightmares, you’re right. I still have nightmares about it.

Most of the kids at church got hit with a bible or a hymnal at least a few times. We all knew that we deserved to be hit, although we were rarely clear on why. Making noise during the service, running after the service, or failing to have your Y.E.S. (Youth Educational Services) bible lessons fully completed seemed to be the most common offenses. And if you didn’t shape up after a trip to the Mother’s Room, then your Dad would take you to the Men’s bathroom (if it wasn’t in use by other men) or out to the car for some discipline that was beyond what your mom was physically capable of delivering.

Wives almost always received their “corrections” at home after services. Usually those corrections were related to the misbehavior of the children at church. And then, as if that weren’t enough, there was always a good dose of “gaslighting” for mom and the kids from dads, who got it from the pastors, who got it from HQ in Pasadena.

For everyone who manages to make an exit from Armstrongism there is a time where nothing seems real and nothing can really be trusted. People who get out often find themselves unable to really believe or trust anyone or anything for an extended period. Our lives are an endless series of questions that nobody is able to answer for us.

o Did I see what I saw?
o Did I really live that life?
o What it really as bad as it seemed?
o How could that have actually happened and have been accepted as normal?
o Who am I if I’m not in “the church” anymore?

I think what’s really the most challenging part of it all is coming to accept that not only are the people who did these things NEVER going to apologize for them, but they aren’t even going to acknowledge that they even happened.

My entire childhood was shrouded in secrecy and deception. The only way that I know that I’m safe, sane, and not going to suffer at the hands of an angry and vengeful God is through the stories told by others who made it out and remember what happened to them too.
And again… I was one of the lucky few who weren’t hit with bibles or oversized homemade paddles. I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of hell those kids experienced. What I do know is that the thought of living one day in their houses was both my fantasy and my nightmare at the same time. I always wanted to live someone else’s life, but I never forgot how lucky I was that my mom was so obsessed with staying slender and feminine instead of being strong and independent.

If you were one of those kids and you’re reading this now as a survivor, please know that I heard your screams. I still cry for what was done to you. It was real and you didn’t just make up that story to hurt someone or make them feel or look bad. What they did to you was wrong, they knew it was wrong, and they lied about it to make themselves feel better. Each and every Saturday was nothing but theater and behind the perfect scenery there was the worst kind of darkness and fear. But the echoes of Armstrongism are dying out and with them all the horrors of “The Mother’s Room” are fading away as well. 

See the complete story here, that was published in response to Tonto's comment about HWA: