Tuesday, March 3, 2020

Should Christians Be Eating Lucky Charms?


In answering this important question, we must first address the fact that we are talking about “LUCKYCharms. Notice what Verse By Verse Ministry has to say about Christians employing the notion of luck: “From an earthly perspective, things may seem to happen at random, but throughout the whole of Scripture, it is clear God is in control of all His creation and is able to take the random acts of natural law, the free will of both good and evil people and the wicked intent of demons and combine them all to accomplish His good and perfect will (Genesis 50:20; Job chapters 1 and 42; John 9:1-7). Christians, specifically, are given the promise that God works all things, whether seemingly good or bad, together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).” They go on to “recommend a Christian not use the phrase ‘good luck.’”

The folks at Compelling Truth remind us that “The word "luck" does not appear in the Bible.” They go on to inform us that “Eastern religions in particular believe luck can be somewhat controlled by superstitious actions. Religious rites are performed (like rubbing the stomach of a Buddha statue or lighting incense) to induce supernatural powers to change the fortune of an adherent.” Continuing, they underscore the fact that “What the Bible categorically condemns is the use of superstition to gain the favor of God or any deity to bring fortunate results. Religious rites to draw luck from a pagan god are useless, as pagan gods don't exist and, therefore, can't act on behalf of anyone. And God so hates being manipulated by worship practices that He'd rather we abandon those traditions He put into place and worship Him from the heart than obey Him for the sole purpose of gaining favor (Amos 5:21-24).”

Hence, it should be clear that Christians should not be involved with anything that relies on the pagan notion of luck. Likewise, it should be noted that a typical box of Lucky Charms is literally full of little marshmallows that take the form of PAGAN symbols! We have hearts, stars, horseshoes, clovers, blue moons, UNICORNS, rainbows and red balloons in each box of cereal. Do we, as Christians, really want to be eating these pagan symbols? Do we want to expose our young children to these symbols?

And let’s not forget that this cereal isn’t just tasty – it’s “magically delicious!” In fact, if we go to the cereal’s own website, we are told that consuming it could be “The Most Magical Part of the Day!” The manufacturer goes on to tell us: “All you need is some extra magic to start your day off right. And lucky for you: Lucky Charms marshmallow charms are pretty magical.”

What does the Bible have to say about magic and those who practice it? In the book of Acts, we read about a man named Simon “who had previously practiced magic in the city and amazed the people of Samaria” (Acts 8:9). We are further informed that this Simon “saw that the Spirit was given through the laying on of the apostles' hands,” and that he offered them money to share their power with him! (Acts 8:18-19) Peter, however, rebuked the man and told him to repent of his sin! (Acts 8:20-21) We are also reminded of the fact that Moses had to face Pharaoh’s sorcerers and magicians in fulfilling his God-given commission to free the Israelites (see Exodus 7). In fact, sorcerers and magicians are portrayed throughout the Bible as being antithetical to God and His religion. Indeed, we are told twice in the book of Revelation that they will have no part in God’s Kingdom! (Revelation 21:8 and 22:15)

It should also be noted that the cereal is promoted by a leprechaun! Indeed, an image of the magical creature adorns the very box that contains the cereal! LIVESCIENCE informs us that “Leprechauns are a type of fairy, though it's important to note that the fairies of Irish folklore were not cute Disneyfied pixies; they could be lustful, nasty, capricious creatures whose magic might delight you one day and kill you the next if you displeased them.”  Do you want your children exposed to such pagan rubbish?

Remember, God’s Word tells us “Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you.” (Deuteronomy 4:2) Remember too, that God instructed the Israelites: “When thou art come into the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations of those nations.” (Deuteronomy 18:9) And, finally, Christ reminded his followers about something that Isaiah had said about the people of his day: “This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoreth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.” (Matthew 15:8-9)

Do we want to satisfy the lust of our eyes and bellies or follow the will of God? Do we want to pollute our temples with a highly sugared cereal (one 36 gram serving contains 30 grams of carbohydrates, most of which is sugar!) or do we want to eat healthy foods without any taint of paganism? For TRUE Christians, the answers to these questions should be obvious. Christians should NOT be eating Lucky Charms!

This satirical article based on Armstrongite reasoning is brought to you by Miller Jones.

Monday, March 2, 2020

The Fastest Growing COG In Africa?



It is not who you think it is.  We have heard for several years now that Almost-arrested Elijah, Elisha, improperly blessed, and dreamy Bob Thiel, declare that his improperly named "continuing" Church of 'god" was the fastest-growing Church of God in the history of the true church. With most of his "new" members coming from other Sabbatarian groups that church hop from one money stream to another, he claims more African members than any other group.  Most of us know that is one of his many lies that rank up there with his double-blessing and dreams.

To shatter that myth along comes Wade Cox, that other professional liar, who send just sent  Bob Thiel whimpering to the corner like the sad little splinter cult leader he is.

Cox, leader of the so-called "Christian" Churches of God makes the claim that his group has more members in Africa than the old Worldwide Church of God ever had as members.  Of course, we should not forget that Cox has lied previously that half of the entire African continent were members of his cult. Cox claims he has 300,000 members, though he also says that his cult does not officially count members. This also includes many Muslims and most Sabbatarian groups in Africa.


Poor Bob Thiel.  Nothing this little guy does is ever enough. Every time he turns around some other COG has outsmarted him.

Though the question needs to be asked, has the Church of God ever had a church leader who has not been a liar?

Did Satan Send The Coronavirus To Stop COG Members From Going To The Feast?

Word has been spreading through the COG that Satan has been masterfully at work again. He has such a deep hatred for the COG that he will use any means possible in order to stop COG leaders and members from attending church, holy days and the Feast of Tabernacles. The coronavirus just may be that means.

Various countries and municipalities that are major destinations for tourists and large groups are now banning large gatherings of people. Tourism to countries like Italy and China have dropped dramatically as has air travel domestically and internationally.

COG members are worried that they will not be able to go to their favorite destinations.

All of this is egged on by various COG prophets of doom as a sure sign of the end times. With the locusts in Africa right now and the coronavirus spreading around the world, the doom prophets of the church are wetting their pants that their prophecies are coming true.

Keeping COG members immobilized with fear is the only way these foolish men have in keeping their members under control and the money stream uninterrupted.