Friday, February 15, 2013

Ron Weinland the Imprisoned Felon/False Prophet Says the End Starts Next Week and That He Hopes to Be Out Of Jail by Passover

Armstrongism's best loved imprisoned felon has written a screed to his followers from behind the unforgiving bars of prison.  This is really his first public announcement to his remaining blind faithful that his pathetic criminal ass is sitting in jail.  Word has it that his jail mate Bubbalicious was his scribe.

Today, the imprisoned false prophet wrote to his followers:

God’s judgment upon his people, given through Jeremiah, was largely about the end-time. The consequences of that judgment are severe and far greater than most can grasp. As it has often been stated and needs to be repeated here, it is only through such suffering that the nations of Israel can be humbled and brought to repentance.

Is the imprisoned felon trying to tell his followers that he is in the process of being humbled and being brought to repentance?  Since Armstrongism has always claimed most prophecies had a dual purpose, is this really what the felon is admitting?  Has he finally realized what an arrogant, pompous, lying ass he has been over the years?  I am not going to hold my breath, but maybe he was too stupid to realize what he wrote.

Though the nations of Israel have suffered through various wars and natural disasters, they have never experienced it to the magnitude of what is now rapidly approaching. Although it has been generally short lived, there have been large numbers of people who were humbled by such events. As God said, they were ever backsliding. Humility does not long endure in the heart of man.
Rampaging Germans, hordes of Chinese, slaughtering Muslims, and a miracle working Pope....who else does he have in mind? It’s the same tired load of bullshit we have heard from the mouths of Armstrongite ministers for over 70 years.

Did you know the tribulation will be a beautiful and glorious thing?  The convicted felon continues:

The result of this world being humbled by great tribulation is far more beautiful and glorious than any can imagine, yet it will not come easy. Prophecies given through the prophets reveal a horrifying time of judgment that must come upon this earth. Thankfully, in His great mercy, God has mightily condensed the time for such suffering.

There now is no hope for the British Israelite nations.  It’s too late to do anything how.

As was stated in a previous post, God’s Church believes we are in the final prophetic day in which God’s end-time judgment will be executed. But when will it begin in earnest? We watch and seek to be on guard spiritually, just as God’s Church has always been admonished to do. As each day passes all should strive to draw closer to God, as some of the greatest “spirit” battles are yet to be waged. Those battles have already been intensifying since we entered this prophetic day. Satan knows his time is quickly running out.

For all practical purposes, time has run out for the nations of Israel. Their governments wallow in confusion and there is no soundness in judgment. There is no ability to address their economies, which even much of the rest of the world sees as coming to an end.

Because the end is here, many of convicted felon Weinerdude's followers are trying to remain close to home so they are not separated from each other.

Admonition to God’s Church:
God’s Church foresees the quick beginning of the end for the nations of Israel once the Second Trumpet sounds. Prophets, apostles, and all of God’s people have always desired to know more specifics concerning the timing of final events. Now that we are so close and time remaining is so short, our desire to know more is still just as great. That is good if we “act” upon that knowledge God has given concerning just how fast time is closing in.

Indeed at some point soon, this world is going to be cast into great chaos. In the past few years, many have made plans with this final timing in mind. The example of making travel plans helps to magnify that point of concern about the timing of the Second Trumpet. Most have desired to be close to home when that event happens. That concern is greater now than ever before in all our planning as we seek to be as prepared as we believe we can. The bottom line is that our lives are in God’s care no matter where we are and how much planning we do. There is no better place to be! All prayers should reflect such desire and gratitude, for the Second Trumpet is closing in.

To reinforce his roll as a supposed prophet of God, he gets all biblical on us:

Truly, truly, now is the time to be on guard, far more than ever. These are not just words because the time before us is most urgent. This is strong admonition to those who have ears to hear.

According to the imprisoned felon we are just days away from war.  Death and destruction loom on the horizon.  Noon time will be happening next week, and then it is all downhill from there!  Get your Petra Packs ready!  Don’t have any more babies. Sell everything for the final push!

So, going back to the beginning, I stated that I was struck by words that God spoke to Jeremiah. Speaking of preparing war to come upon Israel, it was stated that it should come up at noon and that “woe” would follow as the shadows continue to lengthen to the end of the day.

I was struck by this timing and could not help but consider how we must ever be so diligent all the way up until God’s Kingdom is established. Next week we will already be at noon in this Day of the Lord. From that point, the shadows of the day will grow longer until this day is fulfilled. We are to ever be on guard and ready spiritually and so much more as time continues to close in.

Then the imprisoned felon finally admits he is in jail. But then claims he hopes to be out by Passover. But if his followers are not sufficiently prepared God will delay the end times yet again.  This concerns the humble false prophet and felon.  Weinerdude wants his followers to know that he loves them soooooooooooooooooo much that he is concerned that they will not be allowed to keep Passover this year.  If have news for Ron's followers, you CAN keep your Passover this year because not one thing Ron has told you is true.

As several prophets and some apostles before me, I am imprisoned, but soon will be freed, as will all of mankind, and that is all by God’s purpose and power. It is with that in mind that I realize that if the sounding of the trumpets does not resume until after Passover that I likely will not be allowed to observe it in the manner Christ prescribed; however, my thoughts have not been about my inability to do so, but of yours, for the Second Trumpet could easily sound soon.

Such considerations are sobering and indeed they should be. So all should be moved by such soberness of mind and “act” more fully and more zealously upon the knowledge God has entrusted to you.


Douglas Becker said...

Not gonna happin... next!

Head Usher said...

"As was stated in a previous post, God’s Church believes..."
They sure do. Just about anything. In fact, that's among their biggest problems.

"...We must ever be so diligent all the way up until God’s Kingdom is established. Next week we will already be at noon in this Day of the Lord. From that point, the shadows of the day will grow longer until this day is fulfilled."

Ron has painted himself into a bit of a corner with all of his failed false prophecies. Now he has to keep being evermore creative in how he says big things are happening in order to somehow explain away the obvious appearance that nothing is happening at all. Since Ron is unlikely to ever admit that he's full of phoney baloney and that everything continuing on as it always has is all the evidence anyone should ever need to know that nothing is happening. I have a bad feeling that his pitiful followers are going to be asked to continue to ride this same doomsday roller coaster ride, year in and year out. It's like that Bill Murray film, "Groundhog Day" where he cannot escape repeating the same day over and over until he learns his lesson.

Well in this case, it would be "The Lord's Groundhog Day," and Ron's poor followers will have to keep reliving the "Day of the Lord" every single year until they learn their lesson -- to stop believing in all this bullshit and escape from the Weinland clan & crew!

When Jesus comes, will he see his shadow and crawl back into his heavenly hole, thus portending yet one more year of evil mankind's fallen and wintery weather? I'm not sure one way or another, but this could be the explanation why so far jesus has so far failed to return every single year!. Hey, that fits the facts better than every christian prophet so far, including the first century apostles themselves. (Puxatawney Phil has them all beat by a mile with a 39% accuracy rate, which, I might point out, is still not as good as a coin toss!) How much you wanna bet my brand-new phoney baloney jesus groundhog myth will further accurately predict the annual absence of jesus in the future 2,000 times in a row? That's where my money is.

The scientific mind is still skeptical even when every prediction consistent with a given scenario comes to pass, because he knows there are plenty of other radically different scenarios which would have yielded precisely the same outcomes. The religious mind will continue to believe a scenario is true, even when every prediction consistent with that scenario has failed.

And yet, I have to admit the possibility that maybe weinland's followers continue to ride his roller coaster because they're addicted to the thrill. There are cheaper theme parks to be found though. Six Flags over Jesus comes to mind...

Working hard to get my fill,
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice,
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'

-Journey, "Don't Stop Believin'", Escape, 1981

Painful Truth said...

Ron should be aware of the following.

In times of economic collapse, those who find themselves crowded more and more tightly into prisons and jails, (which will be increasingly unable to feed and house them), if things degenerate to the point where no one can keep the prison up and running, those who are locked-up may well be left to die.

Note that this has happened in the past, in countries that have gone through similar type of collapse(s). In some, the prisons are emptied by executing the population.

Beware of what your saying Ron. You may curse yourself.....again!

James said...

Swindlers like Ron Weinland have been an endemic epidemic within the Cult of Herbert Armstrong since the 1950s

Anonymous said...

When I read these and many other prophecy related explanations of the events happening in the world I look at history. To me what is defined as prophecy is the product of deep concerns over current political, social, and religious conditions in the present age. The warnings in the bible were basically focused on getting people to cease their corruptive and destructive characteristics and get back to the basics that would develop a people with the characteristics that would produce communities working together to build the perfection desired for human life.

Best advice I could give to these delusional ones is to forget prophecy and the sorry shape of the present conditions in the world at large and start building a balanced life that reflects the love, joy, peace, patience, self control, meekness, and humility that will be seen without blowing your own horn. When a person gains the respect of both sinners and saints they have just started on the life that God desires of His people. At least this is the way I see it.

Byker Bob said...

Has Ron Weinland repented of defrauding the US government of tax moneys due to it, of lying, and all of the other things for which he is in jail?

I ask because I have not seen any admission of guilt or error by him.
He appears to be arrogantly continuing in the same behavioral patterns without missing a beat!