Wednesday, August 21, 2013

James Malm: God Calls People To Start Splinter Groups Without Having Hands Laid Upon Them (Like Me)

Here is how James Malm and Bob Thiel get around the fact that neither of them are ordained yet now run splinter groups:

The laying on of hands sanctifies the sacrifice; and from this we have the doctrine of the laying on of hands.  I will; cover this doctrine another time, but I will say that men can and often do wrongfully lay hands on others; and that God does call people to jobs personally without the laying on of hands by men.
However, Malm also takes a swipe at his arch competitor, Bob Thiel, and his silly claim that when he was blessed by an LCG minister that it was a "double blessing"  and therefor he was set apart by God to form his own splinter personality cult.

So there you have it, justification that allows you to start your own group without being ordained. I can see the money starting to roll in!


Douglas Becker said...

"Having hands laid upon..." is that anything like the Pharisees laying their hands on Jesus or the Jews laying their hands on the Apostle Paul?

OK, then.

Not ordained, not qualified.

Which makes you the perfect candidate!

Not to worry: The would be leaders will all die by August 30 and everyone in all the churches of God (including CoG7D) will attend with Uncle Davey Pack (worst family relationship ever!)

Joe Moeller said...

Id like to "LAY HANDS" on either Malm, Flurry, Pack or Thiel.

Problem is that it might leave a black eye, or a bloody lip.

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Byker Bob said...

Having been a rebel type all my life, I have never been able to understand this virtual worship of law! It's like they are sitting like a ravenous pack of starving dogs. just waiting for some tidbit of law, and the more it contributes to micromanaging every little detail of one's life, the better!

Now, love, I can understand. Lovingly overlooking others' defects and faults, I am on board for. What is that old saying, "Row thy neighbor's boat across to shore, and lo, thine own has crossed"?

It is human nature that if we make a god out of the law, the by-product or consequence automatically becomes judgmentalism. Anyone truly knowledgeable in the Christian philosophy, and qualified to teach it knows this. It is "Jesus 101"! Of course, if you ordain yourself, and become a "do it yourself" minister, based on past cultic studies, you may miss such "minor" points.


Head Usher said...

I don't know about ordination or annointing.

I remember, when I was a kid, my parents having the minister come over and annoint me. It felt powerful. It stirs something deep in the psyche of the believer. It's an emotional experience. Here this authority figure knelt over you, put his huge hands on your head, dabbed some olive oil on your forehead and then proceeded to make your hair greasy as he chanted his incantation. I don't recall it ever making me better, but then again, it didn't make me any worse. Most of all, it felt powerful.

First off, James has a point that it seems lots of Old Testament figures were never "ordained" or "annointed" or whatever. But if you go with that logic, and carry it forward to the modern day, virtually every man, woman, and child has just as much right and standing to claim the same "calling from god" to go forth and "prophesy." To where would that lead? Something akin to 2.1 billion xians each trying to convert one another to their own individual brand of xianity? That's absurd, but that's what he's arguing for.

OTOH, if you go with the necessity of having "hands laid upon," well what exactly does that fix? Carrying that forward to the modern day, who decides, in 2013, who's got the "magic hands" and who hasn't? Who is vested with the "authority from god" to ordain? And how is one to know? Or is this something you just have to "believe." Just because one man was ordained by someone else who was previously ordained, how do you that such a "lineage" or ordinations didn't begin with a self-appointed, non-ordained fool like James Malm who merely had the chutzpah to con some followers? Or maybe it's just the act of putting hands upon scalp? Could I be "ordained" by my wife? How about by my newborn son? Would it count if I laid hands upon myself?

If there were a real god, how would hands contacting scalp help him out? To me, "ordination" or "annointing" either for the purpose of installation to political office or to beseech the deity for divine healing, is just one more meaningless ritual cleverly invented by men to bestow upon themselves an air of superiority, authority, and divine selection, which, upon scrutiny, is without basis or warrant. But hell, if it don't seem like a powerful thing. Almost as powerful I'd guess, as dancing naked around the cauldron chanting incantations in the moonlight.

So, if you ask me, James and ol' Herbie himself were just as much sent by god as me or the pope, and greasy hair don't got nothing to do with it.

Douglas Becker said...

So the elders are supposed to fast and pray as to those who are supposed to be anointed to the ministry.

Perhaps, Jamey Malm has not fasted long enough.

41 days should do it.

Painful Truth said...

Hell, I'm an ordained minister in the "Universal Life Church" in Modesto, CA. So what? My dog is too.

All this crap Malm whines about is worthless dribble. Whether it Meredith or Thiel, it is all bullshit. These peons with diplomas from mills or assholes with visions, are the blood suckers of humanity.

Only fools buy into this crap. Really, how stupid are the armstrong people?

Byker Bob said...

You can make the job easier, using the process of elimination, and figure out where the laying on of hands cannot come from. As we all know, that would be Armstrongism. Once you disprove their bogus "True History of the True Church", the possible validity of their laying on of hands goes out the window. Heh. Kinda like what happens with British Israelism.

They don't respect one another's disfellowshipment, either, because most of them have disfellowshipped each other sometimes multiple times, so that is also meaningless.

I am reminded of the very excellent Robert Duvall film "The Apostle" of several years back. The lead character at one point baptizes himself and asks God to make him an apostle. Later, he is apprehended because a beating he had administered to the man who stole his wife resulted in the man's death. Final scenes show him with a kind of prison ministry.

If these guys want to take their cues from the Bible, there was always supernatural witness (and I don't mean "fantastic" income, profuse bragging, or a successful building program) substantiating those chosen by God to do a job. You just don't see that in Armstrongism. All you see is cleverly staged street theatre being used to manipulate people. Malm is one of the lesser, one of the two bit practitioners of this.