Wednesday, August 21, 2013

James Malm Now Telling His Acolytes How To Cook Meat

The legalistic bullshitter, James Malm, has to control everything a person does from the kitchen to the bedroom.  Right now he is going through the book of Leviticus trying to prove that everything is still applicable to today. I guess apostle Malm won't be eating any blood pudding.

The burning of the fat or kidneys in the Peace Offering indicates that the fat and kidneys belong to God.  The eating of fat or blood is expressly forbidden for the people of God.

3:17 It shall be a perpetual statute for your generations throughout all your dwellings, that ye eat neither fat nor blood.

We need not work to remove every speck of marbling, however we should trim off obvious fat from meat and buy extra lean ground meat.  The extra lean ground meat can be improved by adding an egg and bread crumbs, or a dash of olive oil and our favorite spice.  It would also be proper to avoid deliberately high animal fat products like sausages.

WE should wash our meat and remove all possible blood.


Anonymous said...

And then, wipe your butts with Charmin,only Charmin, from front to back. Oh puleeese!

Douglas Becker said...

This should prove to be interesting at the Feast in Oregon.

Barbeque, anyone?

There isn't any such thing as Old Testament Christianity. There isn't! There isn't! (Whatever you do, make sure you AVOID Jesus, since he's not about to support what you are doing -- and if you don't believe that, look at the Gospels and see his interaction with the Pharisees of his day. The best you can do by being an Olde Testament Christian is that you can become a superlative Pharisee and you know where that leads...).

Corky said...

And...don't forget to make a crease in the front of your a blue Chevrolet...always wear white socks...white shirt...plain ties...don't go to bed early on the Sabbath, you'll want to enjoy every minute of doing nothing.

And...while you're at it, how many bb's are in a one pound box? Did you count them?

DennisCDiehl said...

Well, "God" can have the fat and the kidneys if He is so inclined. It's bad for the heart and, like liver, I would not eat the filter on my car so why would I eat Kidneys? How about French Fried Lymph Glands? They smell sweet when burned.

For being afraid of Pork and Shrimp, God sure gets sloppy with fat and organ meat. Knock thyself out!

DennisCDiehl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DennisCDiehl said...

PS Gives new meaning to Bowels of "tenders" mercy. American back rebels in Syria like human hearts evidently, when taken from the chests of Syrian Soldiers. As do very angry Mohawks at Lake George, NY

Israelite Priests probably sold Lung Burgers behind the Temple. They'd be called Ruachburgers and the Greek versions would be called Pneumaburgers. Those go great with Lymphgland Rings.

I wonder if "God" likes fried Temple Oysters? Well, they'd prolly have to be called Bull Bangers Nuggets, not oysters.

You gotta love Jimmy. He needs to go to Old Covenant Culinary School and learn the trade. Head to Jerusalem and open an Old Covenant Deli in the Jewish Quarter.

Byker Bob said...

The strange thing is, these great truths about the meats are things which I have practiced all my life. But, I don't call myself an apostle or demand that the followers that I've never collected or had adhere to them. It's secular stuff: 1) I am concerned about cholesterol, and 2) the kidneys and liver function as the body's filters, and are saturated with toxins.

Professionals generally are respected for that extra reserve of knowledge either not shared by or not generally available to the general public. Charlatans often employ a body of just plain weirdness in an effort to simulate this. It is just plain "pseudo"


Anonymous said...

By his own way of thinking, not removing every speck of fat could be interpreted as not going far enough to obey God's laws. I mean if you are going to specially buy extra lean hamburger, shouldn't you make an effort to trim obvious pieces of fat out of that steak? Of course as Dennis points out, this may good for your health but at the same time to rationalize or follow a law within all aspects of your life is better left to the obsessive. Malm has plenty of that in him.

Byker Bob said...

Not only that, anonymous, he hasn't even addressed the issue of proper bleeding of the animal according to Levitical laws surrounding slaughter! With his normal attentiveness to detail, one would think that he would at the very least be instructing his followers to purchase only meats coming from Kosher sources! I don't know whether they have Trader Joe's up there in Canada, but you can certainly purchase Kosher chicken at TJ's here in the U.S.


Lucy said...

Talmud Malm :an 800 volume set bound in cardboard now available!
From toilet paper to the car you dare to drive, Super Apostle James Malm will set you right if you obey his lordly commandments.

Anonymous said...

Malm sure is one heck of a micromanager!
It's like he's taken the worst micromanaging proclivities from a certain self-proclaimed Apostle, and is doing his best to take those harmful proclivities to new heights.

My father was a micromanager, and it would really bug my mom and me and my siblings.
It's no wonder that Malm's wife left him. Good for her! (Maybe not so good for Malm's acolytes, though.)

Some get so caught up in the idea of there being a RIGHT and WRONG way to do things, and that old "black and white" thinking is indeed easier to cling to, rather than acknowledging gray areas and nuance.

As a small personal example (and I have tried, sometimes painfully, to diminish my inherited "black and white" thinking), if I told my wife or child, "THIS is the Right Way to wash the dishes (or load the dishwasher)!", that doesn't go over well.
I've found it's much better to say something like, "This is how I like to do it, but you might like a different way, and that's fine."

A big problem enters when it comes to religious matters, and people believe that their ideas are actually GOD's ideas.
Unfortunately, it's so seldom that you hear a Christian say, "This is my interpretation in this matter, but you may find that a different interpretation seems more correct. After all, we all like to think we have god's spirit but the reality among us is we have some very differing interpretations."

Nope, what we hear too often is "This is what God says, and I'm not going to argue with Him! I'm thankful that I'm a Spirit-filled Christian and have the Spirit-guided discernment to interpret scripture correctly and choose a church with Spirit-filled pastors."

I think part of the problem is that Christians like to feel they are on a special mission from God to "spread the Truth" and part of God's 'chosen ones', and doing so is easier if they don't admit they may be wrong.

In other words, you won't hear Malm saying, "This is how I think beef should be cooked, but hey that's just my opinion and maybe I'm wrong, so it's fine with me if you disagree and do it a different way."

Byker Bob said...

Yeah. Or, this is a point we can disagree on and both get into the Kingdom. That's a statement you ain't NEVER gonna hear an Armstrong minister make!