Saturday, February 21, 2015

Passover Dave Pack: I Am More Of A Prophet Than A Prophet - Say What?????

Elijah Passover Pack attempts to drag up every excuse imaginable in justifying why he is a prophet.  It kinds of reminds me of the asinine  excuses that Bob Thiel comes up with to justify his prophet status.  There are so many COG prophets running around now that it is hard to know who to follow.

101: Because we never saw that God foretold a modern Moses, including that Mr. Armstrong fulfilled this, man could not see both Moses and Elijah as types of the two witnesses instead of being the two witnesses. Now I'm coming back to certain things for emphasis. Their similar level and kinds of great miracles then force Moses further into the discussion as the modern leader who preceded Elijah. That anciently both were prophets who were central in their time only enhances this. The first Elijah, John the Baptist, was more than a prophet; the two witnesses are prophets. All should have today been looking for one who again, as Elijah, is more than a prophet. Do you see the point? If the two witnesses are prophets, John the Baptist was a type of Elijah and he was more than a prophet, we should have been looking for one again at the end of the age in type who was more than a prophet, not a prophet. That's the point, okay. You can think about it.


Black Ops Mikey said...

He is a prophet.

Albeit a false one.

Byker Bob said...

This is so absurdly hilarious! I wonder what J.H. Allen would think if he knew that his theory had been used to concoct an entire religious system, through which the "leaders" became so bold as to even back write themselves into the Bible, and forward write themselves into prophecy.

The stuff won't come true, it literally can't come true, because it is totally based on a false theory, and a false identity! It's about as silly as playing in an old rowboat on your grandparents' farm, and pretending that you are Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer, and that the pond is the mighty Mississip. The fantasy can't continue at the dinner table, because Mom has busted your bubble by telling you to take a bath and get on clean clothes, and then sit at the table.

You would really need to blind yourself to, and ignore a lot of the things that just almost literally jump out to your face in order to delude yourself that Dave, or some of these other yahoos are to be followed. I don't even know how a person could mask the obvious enough to do that! I guess a mind pre-conditioned by Armstrongism probably would be receptive.


Anonymous said...

Has he already forgotten the three shepherds that didn't die when he said they would?

Anonymous said...

All of Mr. Pack's prophecies are a pile of B.S. None have come to pass. He is a 100% false prophet.

Anonymous said...

Better to be thought a fool, then to be like Pack and remove all doubt.

Anonymous said...

God In A Box.

Insane Dave: "God is in MY box. Come sing ME praise or YOU will DIE! It's not as small as you think. It's at LEAST average! Well then, least it's alive UNLIKE some OTHER old important DEAD guys!"

the drive-by philosopher

old EXPCG hag said...

"That's the point, okay. You can think about it."

What was the point?

Anonymous said...

I don't understand. All this claptrap that Dave is on about, none of it is the least bit convincing. Why does anyone sit still to listen to this jerkoff?

Connie Schmidt said...

I have heard that men have a thing called "Penis Envy".

It appears that all of this "Prophet Envy" that has gone on between the likes of Weinland, Thiel, Pack , et al. is nothing more than this "penis envy" in another form.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Pack has a used Steuben crystal and no jet. How can he be a prophet??? Or is it profit???

Anonymous said...


"The two witnesses were just prophets, with average, prophet-sized penises. The first Elijah and John the Baptist had bigger penises than if they were just prophets. All should today be looking for one who again, as Elijah, has a bigger penis than a prophet. Do you see the point? If the two witnesses are prophets, John the Baptist was a type of Elijah, and he had a bigger penis than a prophet, we should have been looking for one at the end of the age who again has a bigger penis than a prophet, not just an average prophet penis. That's the point, okay. My penis was foretold in the bible to be bigger than a mere prophet penis. You can think about it."

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

Don't dismiss Connie's comment so quickly. There is an element of truth to what Connie said about "Penis Envy".

The splinters are all wet and experiencing shrinkage - literally, mentally and figuratively!

The ACOGS smallest penises are now leading the Armstrong movement, IMHO.


Connie Schmidt said...

Well...why else then has the Prophet Pack been infamous for his skimpy swimwear in order to show off his .... well, ummm... pack-age!

Anonymous said...

“More Than A Prophet”—Explained At Last!

DCP had to address the criticism that HWA's time periods and dates on his prophetic teachings had always come and gone without anything every happening, since it sort of made HWA look like a false prophet over and over.

DCP's solution was to explain that HWA was not really prophesying at all, but rather just speculating, guessing, and hoping, even though HWA had actually said that his prophetic teachings were as certain as the rising and setting of the sun.

DCP's sneaky—but not totally satisfactory—explanation was that HWA was not just a prophet. HWA was more than a prophet. HWA was an apostle. This supposedly gave HWA the right to speculate, and guess, and make up stuff, and hope, and always get his timing wrong, yet without being called a false prophet. This so-called explanation also enabled DCP to mock HWA`s critics and pretend that they did not know what they were talking about when they called HWA a false prophet just because the things he predicted never came to pass when he said they would. Of course the timing of HWA`s prophetic teachings never worked out. HWA was not a prophet. HWA was more than a prophet.

If anyone wants any more completely dishonest and totally unsatisfactory so-called explanations for very bad behavior in God`s name, they can just go listen to DCP`s so-called sermons full of all his new teachings with all his dozens, or even hundreds, of so-called proofs for them that do not really prove anything.