Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Job Opening At Greatest Church of God On Earth In This End Times!

Here is your chance to get in on the ground floor of the greatest Church of God ever in human history!  No church has ever been this awesome nor lead by a prophet who is as great as this one.  Being doubly blessed does has its perks! Even Dave Pack is trembling at the magnificence of this global enterprise.

Not only will you get to be handling materials for the improperly named "continuing" Church of God, you will also get to handle the books for the holistic pill-peddling enterprise of the holy end time prophet himself!  These pills are so miraculous because they have been touched by the doubly blessed prophet!  Awesome!

Just think how much fun this will be.  Decades from now you can say you were in on the ground floor of the greatest work ever imaginable.  Can you imagine how great it will be to see the end time witness correcting nations with homeopathic pills!  Super awesome!  Even Herbert Armstrong will shake your hand in the millennium in awe.

Act quickly on this major never before seen opportunity before the job is offered to the public.

Mind you though, this job is "more complicated" than other office jobs due to the fact you will be working for a fake Doctor who got his diploma from a diploma mill in India, who is not licensed to practice in California and who is also a prophet of his god.  Nope, not complicated at all!

Office Worker 
We have a need for someone who wants a job handling a variety of tasks in an office. This job is located in Grover Beach, California and the employing company would be Doctors’ Research, Inc. 
Before looking at local people outside of the Continuing Church of God, I thought that perhaps someone in the Church may have interest. 
The ideal candidate would have office and computer skills (QuickBooks, Microsoft Word), and at least some interest in computer graphics and natural health. The job would include church and non-church work, telephones, lifting, packaging, mailing, and editing, etc. and is more complicated than many office positions. If you are interested, please email me your resume. My email address is 


Anonymous said...

Never has the Church of God had a bigger moron as a leader. Even Gerald Flurry seems sane compared to Thiel.

Anonymous said...

The greatest work of God in human history uses AOL as his mail platform? AOL? WTF?

Anonymous said...

FYI - Dr. Thiel is researcher of the year, physician of the year, and disability researcher of the year. See -

Who heads up the research team at Doctors' Research?

The research group at Doctors' Research is directed by Robert Thiel, who holds a Ph.D. in nutrition science. He is licensed as a naturopath by the State of North Carolina, registered as a naturopath by the District of Columbia, and is licensed as a naturopathic physician within Idaho. He maintains a natural health clinic in Arroyo Grande, California.

DR. THIEL conducts lectures for health care professionals on a variety of natural health topics; he has also written four books for health care professionals. He has conducted, and had published, many scientific health studies. Thiel received the Leadership Award from the Orthomolecular Health Medicine Society. Thiel has been named Research Scientist of the Year, Physician of the Year, and Disability Researcher of the Year by the largest American naturopathic association. Dr. Thiel has had the only comprehensive paper published in a medical peer-reviewed journal (Medical Hypotheses) on the advantages of natural food vitamins over synthetic 'nutrients'.

Byker Bob said...

The ad should also read "past experience working in insane assylum helpful".


I knew Thiel on LCG said...


You do realize that Thiel wrote that description of himself and not some credible outside impartial source. Thiel is more of a narcissist than David Pack is.

Hoss said...

So the initial search is for anyone, anywhere, in the CCOG.
I wonder if travel and relocation expenses will be reimbursed. GTA told stories of church members across the country who drove to Pasadena in expectation of employment, only to find there were no paying jobs available. And those who were employed had long waits between the partial payments for their work.
Perhaps Bob could sponsor some of his African congregations.
So employed by Doctors Research, but doing CCOG work as well. I once worked for someone who used company funds for his church-related activities...

Connie Schmidt said...

Im writing a NATURAL HEALTH BOOK too! ...

Available right here, right now on Banned FOR FREE!

"Connie's Seven Missing Dimension Laws of Health Success"

The results are proven, and they work, backed by SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH!

Here goes... 1) Eat Less/ Exercise More 2) When you do eat, make it mostly fruit and vegetables 3) Don't smoke 4) Use Sunscreen and Brush Your Teeth 5) Wear Your Seatbelt 6) Unless you want a Baby or VD , WEAR CONDOMS! 7) Drink in extreme moderation and do not take drugs.

I have my Doctor degree from the Mozambique School of Holistic Health Studies, and have my license to practice from the United States protectorates of San Miguelito Panama, and Guantanamo Bay Cuba.

Dr. Connie Schmidt

Connie Schmidt said...

I didn't see it in Thiel's advertisement, but I sure do hope that he offers to his future employee some Health Care Benefits, so that they can have access to REAL DOCTORS!

Helen Wheels said...

"Here is your chance to get in on the ground floor of the greatest Church of God ever in human history!"

Doesn't look like Thiel's Hall of Administration has a second floor. Doesn't look like it ever will. Even Dave Pack's office is on the third floor. SAD!

Steve D said...

If someone makes a living doing what Thiel does, it is obvious that his critical thinking skills are very undeveloped. I recall a student at AC giving a speech where he attacked oral contraceptives. He obviously had a bias against them, cherry picked some side effects, probably used outdated information, etc. He didn't do research to determine the truth, he just patched together a few quotes and data to support his bias against them. He didn't mention that pregnancy itself poses greater health risks than the oral contraceptives. I thought, "If I can't trust his scholarship in this area, why would I listen to what he has to say about theology?" Same with Thiel. I wonder if he sells any colloidal silver in his store. It taken orally, it will turn your skin blue . . . . permanently. You will be turned into a Smurf. I suspect that much of what he has for sale in his store is garbage. Apple cider vinegar as a cure all? It's been around for decades. Does he have any Mariani wine? So good it was even endorsed by the Pope. Does he carry homeopathic medicines? It's been around several hundred years. Plenty of time to prove its effectiveness, but there is none. Perhaps the same type of mind that goes into alternative medicine is also attracted to alternative religions.

Byker Bob said...

How many people has this person attracted?
PR is part of what I do. Throwing this opportunity out to "all of the CCOG members" makes the CCOG look far larger and more expansive than it probably is. Even if Dave Pack or Ron Weinland did this, the reality is it would also look pretentious coming from them. Small potatoes are still small potatoes.


RSK said...

"Perhaps the same type of mind that goes into alternative medicine is also attracted to alternative religions."

You may be closer than you think, Steve. Some people are all about "knowing things" that (they think) no one else seems to know. The funny part is that in the mass-communication era, the odds are that whoever has to be around them probably has some idea of what they're talking about and simply doesn't find it interesting, or is well-aware of the topic being spouted on and amusedly watching as the know-it-all embarrasses themselves.

Whether that is Bob Thiel, I don't know. Never met the man, and his online behavior is off-putting enough that I'd rather not.

True Bread said...

so did anyone send Elijah their resume...???