Did A Restored Church of God Minister Jump Ship To Join Samuel Kitchen To Help Restore The One True Church?

Oh, the incestuous merry-go-round of COG groups never ceases to amaze—boundaries and scruples are apparently just suggestions from a bygone era. Church-hopping has been the most malignant (and hilariously predictable) disease in Armstrongism for the past thirty years. Someone’s fragile ego gets a tiny bruise, or they peek over the fence and decide the other guy’s wilted lawn looks positively emerald, and poof—they’re off to the next splinter that will stroke their insecurities and tell them they’re special.

And now, with Dave Pack’s Restored Church of God continuing its endless prophetic face-plant parade, who can blame the poor RCG ministers for eyeing the exits? Some slink off to slightly less insane COGs or Messianic groups, but others—God love ’em—go full Darwin Award and hitch their wagon to the absolute loopiest lunatics still flying the Armstrong flag.

Enter stage left: Jonathan Dicen, late of the Restored Church of God and writer RCG's The Real Truth magazine, is now desperately shopping for relevance. And because nothing screams “I’ve still got it” like joining a “church” with a congregation you can count on two hands without using all fingers, he has apparently thrown in his lot with Samuel Kitchen’s so-called Worldwide Church of God “restoration.”

You can almost hear Samuel squealing with delight. Finally! An actual ordained minister (rumored to have been ordained in the original WCG, no less) wants to join his elite squad of six. At last, legitimate apostolic succession—straight from Jesus through Herbert Armstrong right down to… checks notes… Samuel Kitchen. This means Dicen can now ordain Samuel, which has been Samuel’s real holy grail all along. Because once you’ve got that magic ordination, the tithe checks become retroactively legitimate, church government is properly hierarchical, and the whole operation stops looking like a vanity project run out of someone’s spare bedroom.

Samuel Kitchen calls out his brother, Timothy for daring to critize Samuels latest escapade:

Brother,

Who said God left the order of His Church to human reasoning or personal zeal?

I feel I was inspired by God to establish “The Support Services of the Worldwide Church of God” to set aside funds for the church. So far it has only been my funds, and not a lot of funds since I just started it. 

 

All of the corporate entities the Church had under Mr Armstrong was to provide support services to the Church in order to fulfill its divine commission. 

 

I believe wholly that Jesus Christ is restoring the Worldwide Church of God. You know this. 

 

The authority of God’s Government is here. The laying on of hands is being taken care of. You need not to worry any further. 

 

I am in full support of the ministry of Jesus Christ. You know this. This is why I’ve continued as Dad did, to not sit with those who have departed and wish to no longer walk with the Worldwide Church of God. 

 

I’ve called for repentance of those who came from the Church, who were given false promises in these groups. 

 

Hebrews 5:4, refers to the position of High Priest which is Jesus Christ. For God gave the honor to Christ, as He gave the honor unto Aaron! 

 

I have not sought position Tim, but only to full obey God in all things. God is the one who adds a man to the ministry. 

 

The support structure of the work, is physical in nature. To better assist the church, I created “the support services of the Worldwide Church of God”. It was not a creation of a church.
Jesus Christ is Head of the Worldwide Church of God. 

 

Steve Meyers the head of the ministry in the UCG, says the apostle Herbert W Armstrong is not part of the foundation. This is a rejection of the capstone, which has set forth the apostle into the foundation. 

 

If a ministry leaves Christ, and the flock remains obeying God, do not think the candlestick moves away from the faithful. The Oregon conference held the last remaining members of the Church of God coming from the Sardis era. The ministry had rejected Christ. See Mr Armstrong’s autobiography. 

 

You forget it is God who places in the body whom HE WILLS and where HE WILLS. I am in support of the government of God. 

 

There is no usurping. 

 

And behold God is opening doors for me, even to have a true minister come forward to solve these complaints you have. 

 

If Christ appoints you have no say in the matter. 

 

I have always said from the beginning…you know this…that as an unordained member, I cannot receive tithes and offerings. 

 

Therefore when I created the “support services” in Iowa, it was for my own funding. But now, with authorization from an ordained minister whose family was part of the founding families in the Philippines, under Mr Armstrong, to receive tithes and offerings, and resolving issues concerning laying on of hands, do you not believe God yet? God is in control. Jesus Christ is head. 

 

I am an advocate for the restoration of the ministry. And for doing it God’s way. 

 

I am supporting the work. 

 

As for leadership, that’s in Christ’s hands. He decides who. 

 

I intend to remain where God assigns me. 

 

And do what he wants me to do. 

 

I wrote, the Holy Golden Oil is what ignites the candlestick. And I had only established something that was physical in nature, in order to help me support the Worldwide Church of God. It was Not the Church. 

 

I think you are confused. 

 

This man from the Philippines was not sought after. He came to me. Jesus Christ is still Head of His Church! And He is using WHOM HE WANTS not whom you approve of and decided Timothy. 

 

You ended up in the UCG, because you sought out handouts and help, during your time of trials and lack of financial standing. What happened in Arkansas is an example. You like to keep what happened close to your best, but God sees everything, and yes God gave you mercy. You received help. But it was through your wife’s past, family and friends, and your willingness to contact the UCG or COGWA for help. And once you found a “home group”, you built community, and got settled with home and job, and now feel God put you there. And maybe in your condition you needed all that. I’m reminded of Abraham and Lot. God blessed Lot even though he went towards Sodom. 

 

But Tim you have looked down on me for remaining. For waiting, and for laboring in all capacity I have been given by God. That’s not good. Is it? 

 

Now God is solving the problems Himself. The Government of God is here. The authority of God is here. Christ appoints whom He wants appointed. No one has a say in it. 

 

Remember that’s brother.
In Christ’s service,
Sam Kitchen

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Timothy Responds:

Worldwide Church of God Archives

Samuel William Kitchen you do know Jonathan Dicen is a contributing writer for the real truth. Restored Church of God Magazine, right? Where is his fruit? Anything I find about him, only had that connection, i do not find any connection to The Worldwide Church of God. You say Aaron Dean is God's final authority, being the final and last remaining minister who has the authority from the Advisory Council of Elders. Fruit. And someone else has given you authority. An alternative to what God showed you? You are doing what Dad warned us against. What you once knew. Now you wanted authority, you accepted the offer. You didn't wait. You waited but you had someone come to you with what you desired. Satan knew what you wanted. And this has furthered you away from waiting and going the direction God showed you through our father. Who introduced him to you? I have asked that myself. A man associated with Restored Church of God, claiming to be an ordained minister from Worldwide, who among you were associated with Restored? This is how Satan works. One log at a time. I pray you are brought by God to the place to see this as God sees it. I would ask you to think what would Dad say? 

You created a support system for one you acknowledge is the remaining man alive who holds God's authority as the Advisory counsel of Elders held. Yet you have submitted to another. God works through one man at a time. You either believe that or you don't. Unless you think that one man is yourself. And that would be grave. That way only leads to the end of this world and any part in it if chosen. Don't chose ot any further. Repent. Hold fast, endure. WAIT! To act prematurely as Dathan and Korah did in the wilderness, is something I don't want you to do. I'm praying for you. May God bring you out of those chains that blind you. 

In Christ's service, 

Timothy Kitchen 

Woo Hoo! The Orginal Worldwide Church of God Expands Into The Philippines And Samuel Is Now Authorized To Take Your Tithes And Offerings!

The Work of God™ is exploding across the globe at warp speed! And no, we’re not talking about that amateur-hour circus run by our favorite delusional Crackpot Prophet—perish the thought! We’re talking the one, the only, the authentic, original-flavor Worldwide Church of God, lovingly preserved in Samuel Kitchen’s spare bedroom and inside his own head like a sacred taxidermy project.

Hot off the presses: a former HWA-era minister in the Philippines has heroically reached out to Samuel himself to beg Samuel to bring his earth-shattering, continent-moving ministry to the islands. And because this gentleman is apparently still an Elder™ in the One True Remnant™, he has graciously granted Samuel Kitchen official permission to collect tithes and offerings from the brethren. Hallelujah! Break out those wallets and purses, kids! Dust off those checkbooks you haven’t touched since 1995! It’s time to make it rain for Jesus (terms and conditions apply, void where God has any sense). Praise the Lord and pass the offering plate!

And fear not, scattered little flock that can literally be counted on two hands with fingers left over—this minister will now provide official, factory-certified counseling. That’s right, never again will your life be plagued by the unbearable emptiness of having to think for yourself or decide what to believe. The Church is once again here to do all the heavy lifting upstairs. 

Been there. Done that. Got the trauma.

We have some exciting news!

The Work of God expands to Philippines!

It is with GREAT JOY AND ENTHUSIASM that I am announcing this.

An ordained pastor, Mr Jonathan Dicen, in the Philippines has reached out to me, and we have talked, wanting to revive and expand this work there in the Philippines as the Worldwide Church of God.

His family was one of the founding members of the Worldwide Church of God under Mr Armstrong. He has faithfully endured and has held fast to God’s truth against many persecutions and trials.

COUNSELING: If you would like to request counseling, all concerned messages will be directed Mr Dicen.

Tithes and Offerings: As an elder in the Worldwide Church of God, he has authorized me(Samuel Kitchen) to receive God’s Tithes and Offerings. This is done in accordance with the Law of God, concerning tithes and offerings, and according to Malachi 3:6-12 Concerning the restoration of the Worldwide Church of God.

This post will be updated as we move foward.

For all tithes and offerings, please send a check to PO Box 126 Fairfield Iowa,52556 in the name of “Support Services of the Worldwide Church of God”, or to Samuel Kitchen.

Also see our new website supportwcg.org

For more information visit worldwidechurchofgod.org

No More Crooked Bookcases, Worn Curtains, Exposed Door Knobs and FIle Cabinets?

 

Oh, praise the Lord and pass the floral arrangements—has God’s Most Exalted, Most Anointed, Most Humble Servant finally deigned to notice that his previous sermon backdrops looked like a drunk Laodicean decorated a storage unit? The Supreme Holy One has uploaded a fresh video, and behold: a brand-new painting plus two absolutely misplaced flower explosions now flanking his sacred, luminous countenance like he’s the baby Jesus in a Macy’s Christmas window display. Truly, a quantum leap forward in aesthetic holiness… if you ignore the fact that the flowers are so comically oversized and make his head and body look like a little toddler dressed in a suit.

Alas, the flailing wrists are still doing their interpretive dance routine, because apparently motor control is for lukewarm Laodiceans. And after suffering through the first three or four minutes of “umm… uh… let me… uh… turn the page… uh…” it’s clear the man’s oratorical skills remain stuck somewhere between “reading the phone book” and “hostage video.”

But fear not, brethren! The year is almost over, which means we’re one glorious trip around the sun closer to that long-overdue tribulation that will finally spank all of us rebellious, lukewarm, British-Israelite heathens upside the head. Can’t come soon enough. Onward, Ever Upward, and May His Flowers Never Wilt™!

Samuel Kitchen Tells Steve Myers That He Has A Double Curse Laid Upon Him

Samuel Kitchen, the self-appointed Last Guardian of the One True Faith™(eat your heart out, Bob Thiel!), valiantly spammed Steve Myers and Aaron Dean with yet another batch of "loving correction" emails during the Feast of Tabernacles. Our heroic lone prophet is desperately trying to save their poor apostate souls by commanding them to abandon that wicked, heretical United Church of God and come groveling back to the real Worldwide Church of God—you know, the one that now exists entirely in Samuel's spare bedroom and his unassailable ego.

He's graciously offering them one final chance to see the light (i.e., his light), repent of their filthy compromise, and rejoin the only remnant that he alone has kept pure and unsullied lo these many years. 

The humility is just radiating off the screen.

And bless his heart, it appears Aaron Dean is finally starting to get a wee bit irked with Samuel's nonstop, messianic nagging that he ditch UCG and come home to the "true church" (population: Samuel + three other lost souls). 

How dare Aaron not immediately fall to his knees in gratitude! The nerve.

I appreciate your zeal and desire to do what is right, but sometimes it seems misplaced. Be careful in making anything man sets up, even though God allows and used it at some point, to make us not see, or perhaps reject something he may have planned. As Paul said, We see through a glass darkly. He will make it clear when the time is right. We must subject our opinions to the truths of the bible, and then we can watch it all happen as he fulfills the prophecies.

Samuel's frustrations were leveled mostly towards Steve Myers, and it was not kind:

But ye are departed out of the way; ye have caused many to stumble at the law; ye have corrupted the covenant of Levi, saith the Lord of hosts.

Therefore have I also made you contemptible and base before all the people, according as ye have not kept my ways, but have been partial in the law.(Malachi 2:8-9)

What does that mean? It means your ministry is null and void, because you reject the Lord thy God, he rejects you.

That’s why I cry over you Mr Meyers. Your ministry is severed from the Head of the Church Jesus Christ! You did it.

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.”(Hosea 4:6)

“I marvel that ye are so soon removed from him that called you into the grace of Christ unto another gospel:

“Which is not another; but there be some that trouble you, and would pervert the gospel of Christ.

“But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.

“As we said before, so say I now again, if any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed.(Galatians 1:6-9)

You now have a double curse on you by the Living God! For preaching contrary to the doctrine which you have learned, to pervert the gospel.

Mr Armstrong at one conference, in one audio, doubled that in the name of Jesus Christ! Wow unto you sir!

Scripture is clear. And Mr Armstrong faithfully preached God’s Word. And since he is your superior, or was(since you have now no ministry with Jesus Christ), he has given the good report and faithful witness.

This entire interaction, I fear, was God bringing this out for Mr Dean to see. I am passing this along to him. Death is not a light thing. Korah challenged God and his “one man”. So did Ananias and Saphirra.(Acts 5)

You tried to rope Mr Dean into your blasphemy, and heresy, and apostasy. God have mercy on you if He so wills it, because that so despicable. It’s a wrong spirit. Demonic. Antichrist.

I hate to write these things, because I yearn that you return unto God and repent and believe God. But in accordance to God’s Word, I have to.

It’s heartbreaking, and I don’t wish harm. But Christ has spoken. It is bound in heaven. The scripture already reveals it.

In Jesus Christ’s name,

Samuel W Kitchen

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