Friday, August 12, 2011

COGWA Rules and Regulations For Feast Attendance

Those fine upstanding, church hopping, back stabbing folk at COGWA have laid down the law on how they expect the serfs in their kingdom to act at the Feast this year.

It is no mere coincidence that they are using the analogy of a King ruling over his serfs.  Like feudal kings of ages past, the present Kings of COGWA are making similar demands:

Be Ready to Listen!

Rabison Shumba, a young African entrepreneur and motivational speaker, wrote about the expected behavior of people who come in contact with kings and influential people in his book The Greatness Manual. Mr. Shumba explained that a king deserves your attention. He noted that it is a privilege and an honor just to be called into the king’s palace. When the king speaks, you must listen intently, which means you have to sharpen your listening skills.
There is nothing more insulting or frustrating to a ruler than to have someone take the meeting for granted by focusing his or her attention on other “nice to see” things in the palace. In short, Mr. Shumba says, “You must pay attention.” Giving the speakers, special music performers and songleader at the Feast your undivided attention gives you better opportunities to rejoice and be informed. This principle is also important when we fellowship with others.

The gift of gratitude (i.e.  Because you are grateful you are expected to empty your wallets to show your gratitude to your Kingly leaders.  You will not be able to worship God correctly and fully unless you give more money...)

Being grateful is defined as “being appreciative of benefits received” (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary). When we express gratitude toward God and His people, our outlook will be profoundly affected. It will impact the way we worship God and interact with those of like mind. There should be an appreciation for all the planning and work that goes into every aspect of a Festival site. Many hours are volunteered in hopes that everyone will benefit from keeping the Feast. Say thank you to those who serve you.

In order to maintain his kingdom, a good king recognizes that things must be done decently and in order. This is also expected of those who work with the king. If we are to walk by the same rule so that everyone will profit from the Feast, we must be accountable in areas such as:

It’s always a bit awkward asking brethren to stand up during a message so you can get to an empty seat in the middle of the row. So strive to be seated before the service begins. This will allow you to fully participate in singing hymns—an opportunity to express your love and gratitude to God the Father for all of His many benefits. This part of the service should not be taken lightly, as it shows respect for God and His authority over us.

My technology! (Don't play with your smartphone during one of your Kings mind-numbingly boring sermons!)
 To show honor to God, as well as to those who are speaking or performing, please turn off your electronic devices during services. If you’re concerned you may have an emergency phone call, please put your phone on vibrate. Of course, an exception to foregoing electronic devices would be if one were taking notes on a netbook or laptop.

Communication during services. (Keep your big fat mouth SHUT!)
Talking during services should be kept to an absolute minimum.

Being on time for services/meetings.
It is quite important that we are ready when services begin. How many times have we arrived a few minutes before services only to find ourselves engaged in conversations in the lobby, knowing that we have yet to find a seat, run to the restroom and pull out our notebooks and Bibles?

Eating during services. It is discourteous to your Church family to eat in services

Unhappy children. As parents, we need to be aware that although we may be able to tolerate a little fussiness or whimpering, others may not be able to maintain their concentration.  Take them out of the meeting room if necessary, so others can focus on the message. For this reason, many Feast sites have a parents’ or mothers’ room, and some of them even pipe the audio of the message to this room.(i.e. this is the appropriate place to beat your kids out of the publics eye)

Loitering  it is inappropriate to be fellowshipping in the halls during services. (But pastor, your sermons are incredibly BORING!)


Black Ops Mikey said...

Well, now, if I were attending an IBM Share Conference, these "rules" would be the norm for business people -- who paid good money to be there.

That said, the real issue here is that British Israelism is in the land of lies within the Universe of Deception in the Twilight Zone at the borders of the Outer Limits. These sort of religious conventions leave truth, not as an endangered species, but as dead as the Dodo. No, the Waldensians never were anything but "good" Catholics in their day and did not keep the Sabbath and today are Sunday keeping Protestants. Get over it.

So instead of sitting quietly as frightened sheep, lollygagging (instead of gagging), this year at the Feast, the "Brethren" (I'm not related to any of you) should go there with protest signs, have active ad hoc discussion groups on how to get the truth back and have some objective logic in their lives, and heckle the minister every time he says something that is rubbish -- for example, that the sins of the United States and Britain are going to take them down because they are Israel, and not just Israel, but, darn it all, the Premier Chosen Tribes above all the others (completely ignoring the Jews upon whom the Name of Jacob was to be). Have discussions in the hallways about what the real truth is. Chant, "We want truth, we want truth!". The time has come that they can no longer lie to you and take your money.

Before those would be "kings" who are growing poor in their kingdom and have seized the throne claiming some ethical high ground being, as it were, God as God is God, they should consider that the ice is very thin and they are living on rubbish.

Steve said...

I don't understand why the big shits have to write all these rules down. All their followers have been doing this "feast thing" for years on end. I guess the big shits have to wield their "authority stick" so that the peons will know who's in charge(like the peons didn't already know that?).

Anonymous said...

It's the "kings" over the serfs, the elite over the non elite, it's the self important over the sheeple.

Byker Bob said...

Seems, from the rules, that their big Kahuna is either unfamiliar with the Holy Spirit, or does not trust Him to guide people who believe they have committed to Jesus Christ.


Byker Bob said...

Can't help but make one further observation. They make no mention of flatus. When you have anal retentive rules, surely one of them should regulate emissions of flatus! N'est ce pas?


Black Ops Mikey said...

Seems, from the rules, that their big Kahuna is either unfamiliar with the Holy Spirit, or does not trust Him to guide people who believe they have committed to Jesus Christ.

Well, Byker Bob, it's a double edged sword: If the people coming to attend the Feast of Tabernacles were actually trustworthy and had the Holy Spirit to guide them, wouldn't they have already left the COGWA (Cult Obsessed Gullible With Abberations)?