Sunday, February 19, 2017

Wanted: Deacons, Elders and Ministers...Endless Job Opportunities

Have you ever wanted to be over your own church ready made area?  The superfantabulous Church of God is on the look out for deacons, elders and ministers right now.  They will soon be ordained to pastor the hundreds of thousands of COG members and public who will soon join Dave Pack's Restored Church of God.  Send in you resumes!

So here is the other thing—the other assignment you have along with praying for more laborers—what if God wants YOU to be one of those laborers? Because in a few months, again, if the Kingdom doesn’t come relatively soon, we’re going to need a lot of laborers because things could really take off…because I also know where the budget is going a little bit down the line, not just this month and let’s say next month’s jump. So I’ll leave you with those inspiring thoughts. Anybody that wants to be in any other church is led by some other spirit, I can tell you that.
We absolutely are going to need leaders, and we have a lot of fine men coming along. Some of you men out there, keep your eyes open, keep your ears open to the fact that we might be ringing your phone one of these minutes and talking to you about what we think could be your potential. So I’ll just tell you those things. We are scouring the landscape, as we’re supposed to do. If we’re going to be diligent to know the estate of the flock, we had better know something about the estate of shepherds that Christ would send.
If we’re praying for laborers in the harvest, there better be part of our plan that’s looking for those laborers, unless we just don’t think Christ meant what He said. And if we do believe Him and we’re praying about it…and some of you may be trying to grow in every way you can…so that IF God wanted to use you in some role, then we ought to have a plan to kind of search you out or see where Christ has provided people in every corner of the world. Well, I’ll leave you with that. I hope you find that exciting.


Byker Bob said...

Caution: Permanent positions with David C. Pack and the Restored Church of God are generally of a temporary nature. Please do not burn your bridges as you move to Wadsworth. Do not sell your home, do not cash in your 401K, do not sell your possessions. Keep communications open with your current employer, and do not resign unless you are assured that you can return if your "mission" with the RCG does not work out. Get anti-assertiveness training to assist you in working successfully with Dave. If you are male, obtain a prescription for female hormones. If it is possible to condition yourself by living at a Buddhist monastery in your community and to take a month's vow of silence, you may also wish to avail yourself of that opportunity.

Better yet, pass on this superfantabulous opportunity! It is not worth even attempting to pursue!


Anonymous said...

I know first-hand Bob that what you posted is absolutely true from personal experience at the Wadsworth compound. What you wrote is spot on! Anyone don't believe it, go ahead when the call comes, you will find out...

Black Ops Mikey said...

Sorry. Not interested. Scut work for low wages with maximum abuse.

This is the one place I think that a business should hire illegal aliens... uh, sorry, undocumented workers.

I think that President Trump should make an exception and allow David C. Pack to hire as many people outside the United States to take jobs for his cult. Heck, expand the H1-B program.

Because as sure as death, taxes, revenge and the fury of a woman scorned (and quite a few men included in that), this is an unfulfilling dead end career with no future that nobody wants and only the very poor from outside the United States would consider, considering that Pack will be taking undue advantage of them and they will have to suffer extreme abuse.

In fact, there are seven countries specifically I could suggest for his Dave Brigade, and not a single one of them is Canada.

Black Ops Mikey said...

I have often thought that David Pack and his ilk should be the first pioneers to settle on Mars.

It is far away from the worries of this world and would make a perfect Place of Safety.

Sweetblood777 said...

So I see carrots? Carrots anybody? Are you waiting by your phone for the big call? Of course if you are one of the 'lucky' ones to receive a call, just remember that we expect to see your faith in that you will go common and send in everything to the Wadsworth headquarters.

Byker Bob said...

Yes, 1:42, it is amazing that such a surreal distortion could exist. Conditions were not anything like that for most of us who worked for Ambassador College in the 1970s, so what Dave is doing is not a restoration or a replication. What you folks have had to endure is an extension of his personality. Not good.


Anonymous said...

“Wanted: Deacons, Elders and Ministers...Endless Job Opportunities”

Yes, indeed, endless opportunities to work even more for free, or for even less. Preference will be given to applicants who first donate an annual salary to the RCG. Most positions pay nothing, and those that do pay something might suddenly have the amount reduced to fund the kick-starting of yet another “exciting new initiative with vast potential.”

Dave's RCG is the best cure around for all the little COG nobodies who lusted and coveted after positions of status and power in the church. Now they can finally have them, for a little while, if they still want them. Best of all, nobody will envy them and their lot this time around.

Anonymous said...

After Herb died the new management told the AC students there would be TONS of jobs for them in the work. Herb was rather incompetent they insinuated, and the brilliant new management was going to take the work to greater heights so fast it would shock the world. That. Never. Happened. Instead, the work flattened out, faltered, then collapsed. Nice work idiots.

Glenn said...

Does Dave actually have any churches other than in Wadsworth? If so, who preaches in them and what could they possibly preach about? No one could possibly preach Dave's insane ramblings second hand. Do they just play recordings of Dave's rants every week? What a horrible existence that would be.

Hoss said...

Deacons, Elders, Ministers, Opportunities Now!

Something about that doesn't look good...

Anonymous said...

"We absolutely are going to need leaders, and we have a lot of fine men coming along." David C. Pack

Pick Me! Pick Me!!
My Resume:
1.)My Bible is telling me that I am Jonah from the Bible.
2.)My proof is that I smell like whale vomit.
3.)I even saved some so that when my identity is challenged, I can show them the TROOTH.
4.)David C. Pack is Zerubbabel.
5.)David C. Pack is infallable.
6.)Long live the King.

Ned Flanders

Anonymous said...

Hoo-boy! How OLD this appeal really is, as well as being EMPTY.

Us specially chosen "weak things of the world" were going to RULE . . . once the Kingdom got here. Meantime, we were not only the "things which are despised" by the world, we got to be despised INSIDE the True Church, too.

Time was, being told you could rise above the rabble, above the flotsam of people who got into the church, ministers knew not how -- that was a WOW thing which you embraced. (I think of how some of those in charge looked at me like, "How did you get in here? God would never have called you -- or at least wouldn't've if I were Him.")

I'm GLAD now it never happened to me. The minister would have been all over me about how I should try and "be like me." I would not have wanted, even then, to be a clone of some of those jokers who got to be in the pulpit.

Sorry, Dave. Got a ditch to dig.