COG/Adventist Phone Alert

Here is a phone app for all of you backsliding Adventists and COGers who love that sausage pizza when no one is looking, or Dungeons and Dragons on the Wii till mom walks in the door and you start trading HWA and Spanky or YOU trading cards.  The parallels with the silliness of Armstrongism with Adventism is hilarious!

Should we design a COG app? Will it set off a tone when you approach another COG member while wearing mixed fabrics, or right after you smoked a great cigar, or had one the best Honey Baked ham sandwiches ever?  Will it have a Philadelphian and a Laodicean sensor?  Will it have  PCG or LCG sensor so we will know whether to speak to the person or not.  Or a disfellowshipped sensor?

About to Flee to Petra and Worried About Your Pets?

Who's going to take care of you pet's when you run off to Petra with Gerry Six-Pack or Spanky Rod?  

Are they doomed to suffer through the tribulation without you?  

While you are sitting in a steaming hot desert for your final training 

you can ease your wandering mind about your pets 

who will most certainly be tortured by the invading German army. 

You can now relax! 

There is Petra/Rapture Aftercare available though this organization. 

They will rescue your pets from those horrible Germans and take care of them.  

Then once you return to earth with HWA who is directly under Christ (can't say Jesus - too effeminate) 

and after you have been named a ruler of a world, 

you can reclaim your kitties and doggies

to be rulers of the animal kingdom in your neck of the woods.

(Isn't Armstrongism grand!)

 After the Rapture Pet Care