Van Robison on "Men Who Would Be Pastors"

Men Who Would Be Pastors

That those who assume leadership in the world of churches stand in the place of God is more than ridiculous.  No doubt many enter into the pastor type of occupation with complete sincerity and without ulterior motives, but not all. In the story in the book of Acts about Ananias and Sapphira, we read that God supposedly struck this man and his wife down dead at the feet of Peter.  Christians reading a story like this would have a sense of FEAR that pastors and church leaders are not to be taken for granted.    I take the position that this story has two possibilities and neither have anything to do with God (God was not responsible,  nor was the Holy Spirit).  First, it could be pure fiction and it never happened.  Second, if these two people really did drop dead at the feet of Peter, then they were poisoned or killed by some human being with ulterior motives.

The Roman Catholic Church traces its origin (falsely) to Peter and is there some kind of connection with this account of a man and his wife dropping dead at the feet of "Pope Peter", to intentionally create FEAR of religious rulers in the minds of their subjects?  The "sin" of Ananias and Sapphira was that they supposedly lied about $money, which is a rather amazing reason to kill someone.  God did not even strike down dead on the spot those who  crucified Jesus Christ, which was exponentially a far greater issue than anything Ananias and Sapphira ever did.

For splinter group church goers who live in FEAR of their church leaders and rulers, here is a major contradiction.  In Luke 9:54-56, we read that two of the disciples of Jesus wanted to call down fire out of heaven and consume some folks they had issues with, to which Jesus rebuked them saying "The Son-of-Man is NOT come to destroy men's lives, BUT TO SAVE them."  So then if indeed God is the author of the deaths of Ananias and Sapphira, then the contradiction to what Jesus taught is not only confusing, but leaves one in grave doubt about the validity of such contradictions.  Aside from that how could Jesus teach "love your neighbor as you love yourself", "do unto others as you would have them do unto you", "love your enemies", "blessed are the peacemakers" and so forth and then defy His own teachings?  Were Ananias and Sapphira an exception to the rule?

We begin to see what is called "the Bible" unravel when it is examined much more closely than is ever done from the pulpits of churches.  In the Old Testament there is a story during the time of Moses and also attributed to God, that God supposedly opened up the ground and swallowed Korah, and others with him (including women and children), because Korah voiced opinions contrary to Moses.  This is yet another story designed to instill the FEAR of religious and secular rulers into the minds of common people.  If Jesus Christ was indeed God of the Old Testament as so many Bible apologists proclaim, how then is Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today and forever?  I am more than confident that there is a great deal in what is called the Bible, that has to do with causing common people to live in lifelong fear of the rulers of men.  Pastors love to quote passages such as "you dare not touch God's anointed", which causes people to fear.

Fear of rulers of men is as old as dirt.  We read in the Bible "fear not" and we read "fear God" and we read "there is no fear in perfect love."  So which is it?  As a parent do you want your children to live in fear of your being their parent, or would you prefer that they live knowing that you love them unconditionally?  In Romans 13 we read that "rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil and so obey the rulers" and that has to be pure fraud.  History is proof that rulers of men have slaughtered the good and the innocent by the millions, since the beginning of time.  Some rulers have even murdered their own family members in their insanity and murdered countless others in their insatiable lust for power, control and wealth.  The wars of rulers of men never cease to destroy not only those involved in military, but "collateral damage" (civilians, including women, children and babies).  The Old Testament is full of it and so is real life since the beginning of time and the human sacrifices in endless and perpetual wars never cease.  For Romans 13 to state that rulers are "not a terror" to good works, but to the evil, is nothing short of ludicrous.  Jesus Christ was nothing but GOOD and if the rulers of men are "not" a terror to good works, how then was Christ crucified?  Yet another major contradiction in the so called Bible and there are many.

Should members of the splinter groups of the "churches of God" ever study the Bible for themselves, without being told what it is suppose to mean from their leaders, who stand in pulpits, they would have a rude awakening. Pastors, elders, or whatever title men love to attach to their names, does not make them all knowing, all right, all infallible, all inerrant or to be feared.  And yet, it is because of certain verses in the Bible, that many who go to church live a life in fear of "pastors."  Strange indeed that we read that Jesus came to SET THE CAPTIVES FREE, and yet the church world has taken many captive.  In fact Jesus demolished man-made religion as defined in Matthew 23.  No church organization pays attention to such details.


Van Robison

Apostle Malm On Millennial Temple Rules: Cut It Off!

Do you have plans on heading off to the Temple in Jerusalem in the millennium to offer sacrifices for your sins?  If so, you had better be circumcised!  Apostle Malm has laid down the law for all Temple attendees:

Physical circumcision is necessary to enter the physical Temple.
Spiritual circumcision of heart; through repentance and Christ’s atoning sacrifice, is necessary to enter the heavenly Temple and access the Father.
When the new Kingdom Temple is built; physical circumcision will be required to enter that physical temple; in order to maintain the instructive analogy.  And the circumcision of the flesh without repentance will not be enough; the people will also need to be circumcised of heart.
Deu 10:16   Circumcise therefore the foreskin of your heart, and be no more stiffnecked. ¹⁷For the LORD your God is God of gods, and Lord of lords, a great God, a mighty, and a terrible, which regardeth not persons, nor taketh reward:

Jeff Neil: Another COG Crackpot

Pastor General  
WWCG Preceptor Jeff Neil
 an obvious graduate of the Paul Crouch School of Big Hair

Here is another Church of God crackpot that is just full of pithy sayings and who also thinks he knows when Jesus is returning.  So far all these idiots have had a zero batting average.

Here are a few morsels of wisdom from "the anointed one."

A Church meets in a building to worship God according to their convictions, the beliefs of their specific denomination. Once converted, the ONLY way an individual can "LEAVE his or her Church", would be to cease from adherence to the beliefs of that particular Church or denomination; to cease following the teachings of that particular body of believers. The only way anyone can leave God's Church, is to cease from endeavouring to obey God and foolishly return to a life of sin!
The world is filled with various religious denominations.

In the so called "Christian" religion alone, there exists over 400 different denominations, each preaching different interpretations of the same scriptures. How can all differ and yet all be correct? Either all are wrong or there is only one (teaching, not Corporation) that is right! Christ said that He would build His Church and the gates of hell (the grave), would not prevail against it ... it would not die, but would remain until His return to this earth. Where then, is that one true Church that Christ built, today?

Neil mocks Christianity for having so many different versions, yet he is blind to the fact that Armstrongism has splintered into over 600 different little harlot daughters.

Perhaps he should have written this:  "In the so called "Churches of God" sect alone, there exists over 600 different splinter groups, each preaching different interpretations of the same message of Herbert Armstrong.  How can they all differ and still be correct?  Either all are wrong or one is right. So far the gates of hell have made a mess of the Churches of God. None have prevailed.  All are wishy-washy little sects accomplishing nothing."

Neil then makes the following comment about other COGlets ministers who have made wrong predictions about the return of Jesus.  Then, obviously oblivious to what he had just written, he makes his own prediction.  Can we all say STUPID!

Friends, many have tried to predict the date of the return of Christ. Many of those predictions have already failed, their dates have come and gone and Christ has not returned. 

We will now give you a good idea when Christ will return! The reason we believe our idea is sound is because the Bible tells us the events which will immediately precede Christ's return.

Several months ago, the Jews began constructing their altar. Google it and see. As soon as they commence a seven year covenant to offer animal sacrifices on their altar, we will be encouraged to believe that Christ will return, possibly on the Feast of Trumpets, exactly seven years and 45 days later. Taking the two leap years, 2012 and 2016 into account, plus the 45 extra days for which the Angel said those who wait will be blessed, the return of Christ is therefore not likely to occur before the Feast of Tumpets, September 10th, 2018. In the meatime, let us watch and see if the Jews indeed commence their animal sacrifices between June 28th and July 28th, 2011. Keep being diligent and faithful servants of Christ, watch, and let no man deceive you nor take your crown!

 1971, 1972, 1975, 1980, 1986, 1987, 1996, 2000, 2005, 2008, 2009, 2012, 2017, 2018. When will these fools ever stop?

Neil then goes on to link to the "World Web Church of God" with a heavily edited article by HWA entitled, "2025 In Prophecy" as proof of his teachings. I'm sorry, but I cannot stop laughing at such an stupid name for a COG.  Do any of these little men ever have an original thought in their pea brains?  Can they never come up with anything original without having to use some derivation of WWCG, WCG, COG, PT, Good News, AC, etc?

Neil also recommends  Joel Osteen as a great prophetic preacher.  Say what?????????  What has Armstrongism come to that it is now recommending Joel? Something is just not right with this picture.

This man is perhaps the best preacher on earth today! He may not yet know what we believe to be the true Gospel of the Kingdom of God and the ultimate destiny of man, but if he does get to know, believe and teach it in this age, he will shake the world! Here is Joel Osteen

Neil is also a believer in giants walking among mankind:

The Biblical book of Genesis Ch. 6 verse 4 records: "There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown." The skeletons of many giants have been discovered over the years, ranging in size from 8.5 feet to 36 feet tall!

Of course the site he links to is just another one all about conspiracies to cover it all up. Those pesky Son's of God who came to earth to fornicate with women. Such a bad lot!

Proof of giants' existence - their skeletal remains - has been quickly secreted away in obscure museums, when not destroyed. Additionally, time has cloaked and sugar-coated these creatures' true perverse nature, the majority too vile, too demonic for bedtime stories. However, history is replete with their tales of unimaginable cruelty, sexual perversity, cannibalism and pagan rituals. This is only the beginning. Some things are best forgotten. . . or are they?  Genesis 6 Giants

Finally, for all of you out there that think you are one of the Two Witnesses, Neil wants you to know he is eager to help you.  Here's a chance to add  some money to your pocket!

Finally, the book of Revelation indicates that in the final few years before the Messiah's return to establish God's Kingdom on this earth, God will empower and send Two Witnesses to give the world a final, powerful warning.(Rev. 11:3). This is not just some metaphorical scripture, it is an event that is really going to occur. Needless to say, the Worldwide Web Church of God would be happy to do anything we can to support and assist God's two end time witnesses in their Work. If you already KNOW that you are one of God's two witnesses, or if you come to really KNOW who they are, please email us and let us know if there is any way that we may be of assistance. 

Ruling the Planets With Rod's of Iron

Remember the foolish myth we were taught where we would all be given planets to rule over in the millennium where we would whip the non-elect into shape?  

I don't think the average Armstrongite ever stops to think how incredibly stupid that belief is.  

Just take a look at this video to see how vast the universe is.  

Just further proof on how ridiculous so much of the belief system in Armstrongism is.

Robert Ardis: Jesus Is Already Here and Other Stupidity

Apparently we all missed seeing Jesus return to earth, but the prairie dogs caught it all!

I have never paid much attention to the crackpots that have split off of Gerald Flurry's Philadelphia Church of God cult.  Robert Ardis has never been on the radar.  No one seems to have heard of the guy.  He claims to have a large following, has discovered new truths and says Jesus is walking in our midst right now.


Robert Ardis, the leader of the splinter cult Church's of God Faithful has declared that he has found 75 new truths that Herbert Armstrong was too stupid to have figured out.  I guess the 18 "truths" that Herb delivered were not enough.  There was apparently a need for 75 more.

Compiled here are 75 New Truths that apparently were not understood by

Mr. Armstrong, yet are PROVEN as NEW TRUTH as revealed in the WORD
of GOD. Set Apart By Truth

Robert has an intense dislike for Gerald Flurry.  This cult is a splinter cult of Gerald Flurry's Philadelphia Church of God.  The reason being his little miniscule cult is a splinter cult of Flurry's cult.

The Philadelphia candlestick did not stop burning at the death of Mr. Armstrong as Mr. Flurry claims. It is burning brightly today in the Church of God’s Faithful. The Laodicean candlestick was ignited and given to Gerald Flurry four years after Mr. Armstrong died (Luke 13:6-9). Mr. Flurry took the corporate name of The
Philadelphia Church of God, but the fact is that Christ raised up Gerald Flurry as the representative of the LAODICEAN CANDLESTICK—the high priest of Laodicea!


The Churches worked together until Mr. Flurry veered off track, became lukewarm to the Law of God, and ceased following Christ. Now the PCG under Gerald Flurry definitely fits the description of the Laodicean Church in Revelation 3:14-22, and he has assumed the role of Joshua, the high priest, of Zechariah 3. The “faithful” of the Philadelphia Candlestick were organized as the Church of God’s Faithful (CGF) in 1997.

The ministries of the divided and contentious daughter churches of the WCG that are attempting to “preach the Gospel to the world” and endeavoring to bring others into the Church are involved in their own futile work. The WORK of proclaiming the Gospel to the world has been done! Mr. Armstrong successfully completed his commission! The Gospel has been preached to the world, and the TEMPLE had been completed. Now the TEMPLE can be “measured” before the Two Witnesses’ ministry and the Great Tribulation begins (Rev. 11:1-4).

All of the stones of the physical Temple have not been thrown down yet! But, all of the lively stones of the Spiritual Temple, called through the ministry of Herbert Armstrong, have been thrown down and scattered by Satan the devil (Rev. 12:13).

Satan sure is a pesky devious guy that seems to pick on Armstrognite churches all the time.  You would think he had an axe to grind with them.  At least they think he does.


One of the greatest mysteries that Robert discovered is this:  

The greatest MYSTERY of ALL TIME, known ONLY by the Father, is the TIME—the day and hour—of the COMING of Jesus Christ!

Um, this is standard belief in most of Christianity, so I don't know where he gets off saying the above.  However, like any nutcase Armstrongite, God has given Robert a special vision of which this is the revelation:

The great secret, the MYSTERY of GOD, the wonderful New Truth, that has been revealed to the Church of God’s Faithful is that CHRIST HAS ALREADY RETURNED! THE DAY OF THE LORD HAS COME as a thief in the night—HE HAS SUDDENLY COME TO HIS TEMPLE!

Dang it!  Don't you hate it when Jesus shows up early! No descending on clouds from heaven, no trumpets blaring, no heavenly choirs singing.  Nothing!  Nada.....not a peep.


So what caused Jesus to come to earth and hide away?  Guess who's fault it is that Jesus had to come this way?  It's none other than Six Pack Flurry!  Gerald is the reason Jesus had to return:

For seven years Gerald Flurry and the Laodicean Work was a wee, small voice crying aloud the warning message of Malachi. Then, in early 1997 Mr.Flurry made a monstrous mistake. He changed his God-given commission! He stole the rights to Mr. Armstrong’s book, Mystery of the Ages and went to the world with a discordant blast of the LAODICEAN trumpet. Then on the Feast of Trumpets 1997 Jesus Christ came suddenly to His Temple.

Do you realize that Jesus has been here since 1997!  Where has the dude been living?  What has he been doing while wars raged around the earth, where was he when the Twin Towers fell?  Where was he during the tsunami's?  Well, he was busy walking around with a clip board in had listening to your conversations and watchign what you do.  I guess he was too weak to do all that from heaven, so he has been walking the earth for over fifteen  years getting really ticked off for the lack of wisdom on the behalf of a minuscule band of Armstrongites.  With less than 30,.000 of them any more you would have thought Jesus could have accomplished all this a few years ago.

Christ is not coming to APPEAR at this time but to DISCERN who is righteous or wicked, who serves God and who does not.

With eternal clipboard in head and permanent marker he is crossing the losers off the list. 


While Jesus has been busy making hit lists, the end times march forward.  Robert has this to say:

World conditions have grown more frightening as the Four Horsemen are nearer to the completion of their ride. So let’s take a serious look at 2008 to 2012, a period of four years from Holy Day Season to Holy Day Season---APPOINTED TIMES!

2008 to 2012

• The Feast of Trumpets of 2008 is on September 30. The following day, October 1, begins the 12th year in the Day of the Lord---eleven full years will have elapsed since the Four Horsemen have been released to fulfill their horrendous prophetic ride.

• From Trumpets September 30, 2008 to Pentecost May 27, 2012 is 1335 days. Daniel 12:12 plainly states: “Blessed is he who waits and comes to the 1335 days.” The pattern of 1335 days between the Feast of Trumpets and the Day of Pentecost nearly 4 years later has occurred in the period 1996 to 2000 and, as we recorded earlier, 2005 to 2009. After 2008 to 2012, the pattern of 1335 days will not be repeated until 2025 to 2029!

Not only does Robert know when the end happens, he also knows when God stuck his finger in some rocks and made the 10 Commandments.  

In a fantastic display of POWER on that Day of Pentecost 1487 BC, the Eternal descended to the top of Mt. Horeb/Sinai. There God thundered forth the Ten Commandments.

Then there is more crap on the place of safety:

We do not definitely know if the Place of Safety is in the area of Mt. Horeb/Sinai, or as the Arabs call it today, JABAL AL LAWZ. Jesus Christ is the HEAD of this Church and knows exactly where the Place of Safety shall be, because He will prepare it. The Church of God’s Faithful is SET APART BY TRUTH!
Christ will give us this TRUTH, also. He will let us know the exact location as the time to FLEE draws nearer. As of this moment, we definitely have a “good indication”.

Remember brethren, God only speaks through the ministry of this TRUE church.  To doubt us or ridicule us is to call down the wrath of God on your heads.  So toe the line and do what we tell you because only WE have the truth and God is only working through US!  Submit!

So what more miraculous pity words does Robert have for us?

At sundown on October 1, 1997, God’s Holy Day, the Feast of Trumpets, began. That date marked the END of 6000 years since the days of Adam, the physical father of ALL mankind. It also signaled the BEGINNING of the DAY of the LORD! Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, came as a thief in the night to his Spiritual Temple. Twelve years had elapsed from the time of the last sermon spoken by Herbert W. Armstrong, the end-time Elijah through whom Christ restored the Gospel of the Kingdom of God. Now the TIME had come for “THE KINGDOM IS AT HAND” to be proclaimed! This proclamation was given
FIRST to those who would become the PILLARS in the re-construction of the Spiritual Temple. The Kingdom is at hand—the King has returned.

Possibly the 1335 days will begin on the Feast of Trumpets of 2008! We
must wait to see!

Oops!  Guess that one failed!  Robert is now a proven liar.

Then Robert goes on to make this absurd comment:

After a definite period of time spent in Heaven, then the King of Kings and Lord of Lords with His Wife and the angelic armies of Heaven, will descend to the earth in all-conquering POWER to crush all rebellion—and to RULE the EARTH with a rod of iron for 1000 years. Satan and the wicked demons will be completely subdued and put away for that wonderful Millennium of the World Tomorrow. The converted, 144,000 physical Israelites described in Revelation 7:3-8 will be the FIRST CITIZENS of the New World! And our CHILDREN who were protected in the Place of Safety will be the ROYALTY of the earth as the World Tomorrow dawns.

 Robert then goes on to describe in warm fuzzy words how wonderful the millennium will be!

The dead bodies of Gog and Magog, littered over the countryside of Israel, will be the frightening scene that awaits the billions at the Second Resurrection. Each person will be made to view the carnage and stink of this LAST REBELLION. In no uncertain terms the PENALTY of disobeying God will be vividly impressed upon their minds. The dead bodies of the rebellious multitude will be gathered and cast into the fires that will be kept burning in the “Valley of the Son of Hinnom”— Gehenna! Sin will not be tolerated! The vast majority of the bodies of all the people that have ever lived will have disappeared into dust by the time of the Second Resurrection. This is no problem for God! He will give everyone who has ever lived a new PHYSICAL body. The same will be true for Gog and Magog, whose rotting bodies will defile the land. God will also give Gog and Magog new physical bodies! In their NEW PHYSICAL BODIES they will view their OLD, DECAYING, and STINKING former bodies, which will subsequently be thrown into the FIRES of Gehenna. They and ALL mankind will see the sure RESULTS of REBELLION against God!

Doesn't this all want to make you run out and join up with the Church's of God Faithful?  What a glorious vision it has for the world! No thanks!