Dennis Muses: Heeeeere's Wald... Dave!

Mr Pack speaks for Mr Pack

New Announcement Coming Next Week

 Due to post-Feast time constraints, Mr. Pack is unable to post what will be his last announcement for some time about the Haggai/Zechariah prophecy.

Translation:  I'm trying to figure out how to spin this.  It was one after the feast and three or more after that but I want this to go away so it will all be in one big, "please don't keep reminding me of this."  This being the last announcement for some team means that this will probably never come up again.  Thank you for playing and now please stay and help me build Daveyworld.


"This long, important announcement will bring three final elements to the prophecy, and includes helpful excerpts from an extraordinary 1972 article by Herbert W. Armstrong about how Christians should view matters of prophetic timing."


Translation:  It's long because it's hard, if not impossible, for me  to explain a big mistake with a short apology.  I am going to show you how awesomely HWA skirted his own flub ups with an amazing and authoritative letter that reveals how he didn't know how to say "I was wrong" either and made it look like our fault.   



 "Next week’s announcement, to appear some time between Monday and Wednesday, will carefully explain additional matters about the prophecy’s timing that came to light a month ago."




Translation: I have a tendency to cause darkness trying to bring things to light.  I'm not waiting another week and I want this monkey off my back.  I will be making a few long and winding excuses for last months flub up and make every effort to make you believe God has revealed awesome new things that we (WE?)  did not, yeah..could not have known at that time.  I have to win over the brethren all over again and start a new series of seat gyrating sermons on some other Old Testament drivel.





" Readers will find it fascinating. No next “date” will be set, but the reader will be able to conclude for himself what may happen. Mr. Pack will explain what had not been understood."

 

Translation:   I know everything I write fascinates you so this will too.  I'm not getting into this shit anymore but the prophecy is still "on" and you'll have to figure it out yourself.  I already told you I am just revealing what God says so take any questions you have up with Him.  I am switching from "will happen" to "may happen" since nothing I have said "did happen."  I, I mean Mr. Pack, will refigure some things and make up some more never before understood bullshit which is why it was never before or ever will be understood.


Dave is an example of trying to multiply by division and add to himself by subracting from others.

It didn't work...


 



Dennis Muses for a few hours....

Where's  Dave?

 

 

Any time now all the COGs will be issuing their "BEST FEAST EVER" reports.  They will speak of the kind of harmony and camaraderie not seen in decades. The unity of the brethren will be awesome and for Dave Pack, if we ever hear from him, overarching, with the feast goers gyrating daily in their seats. Seat gyration at RCG's sites will call for a special offering for chair repairs.

 

 

 The accommodations will have been the best along with the food and the locals will have been so impressed with how well behaved and respectful the children were.  Of course the sermons will have been beyond inspiring and the music purely from the Throne of God itself.  The weather will have been fantastic and a good time will have been had by all.

 

 

But this was a very special FEAST for Dave Pack of the Restored Church of  God.  Minister and Member alike were to have finally "got it" and come over to Dave for the really BEST FEAST EVER, under one church and one leader.  There were 24 reasons why this HAD to happen this year for why would God bother to reveal it this year if it was not THIS YEAR?!  

 

 

Alas, the Feast is over.  Fall and Winter cometh and where is Dave Pack's glorious report on the success of it all?  Dave assured us in his pre-feast announcement that the Prophecy of Haggai was very much "on."  Today is Friday.  The traditional day for what Dave said would be one more announcement for after the Feast.  I can understand a bit of get home lag but today seems to be the day that Dave must say something.  After all, he has changed his amazing prophecy to an amazing parallel to already show a bit of understanding between the two  in his now  failed previous  perspectives , hopes and dreams of unification under one billing system. 

 

I believe if scores of ministers had made the leap of faith and passed the 35 question suck my brains out for Christ and Dave test and most of the splintered members had gone to the RCG Feast Sites, we would have heard of that by now.  I suspect there is a good reason we have not heard of that by now.

 

So unless Dave Pack has taken a post Feast hunting trip to bag an Elk or Moose, or shoot a polar bear from a helicopter,  today seems to be an important day for an update.

 

Mr. Schurter drags COG Minister who failed his test for RCG away...

 

 

No update today and I will suspect trouble at the Pondersosa

....and now off to work rubbing MOST folks the right way since '98

 

 

 



 



James Malm Feast Had No One Under The Age of 55 Present (Other Than His Son)

James Malm's most magnificent feast site to ever exist in human history had an age range of 55-80+ in attendance.  This is one Church of God splinter that is guaranteed to die off rather quickly.  What is painfully obvious is that there were no kids, teens, young adults present.  Is it that they don't want their spiritual life to be like living in a boot camp?

Check out his pictures here:  The Church of Malm Feast Pics

Dennis has a day off with too much time...

God Organizing for Another Try at Getting Some Attention

"Behold, I will smite you with mildew, mold and mushrooms mostly in the Fall.  Verily, I will try to get your attention and if not this, then the Iceman cometh."

(I made this scripture up...)

Gives out daily itinerary for a run at unbelievers and scoffers in the Southeast US. 

"Tropical Storm Karen has formed in the Gulf of Mexico and will move into the southern United States this weekend with heavy rain, gusty winds and rough seas.
Karen will continue to move along a curved northward path over the central Gulf of Mexico through Friday and will most likely make landfall along the upper Gulf Coast Saturday night.
There is a chance Karen becomes a hurricane before making landfall."

The Deity gives behinds the scenes look at just how this weak, but you take what you get, run on the pagans will shape up... The purple "wind shear" is obviously a blocking move by Satan or , since this is a lesser kind of try, a lesser demon but the Deity is using the block to divert it right where it needs to go. 

Once this storm gets to the Mid Atlantic States it will be termed a blessing since they need the rain. 

Deity explains it takes a lot of planning to try this so please don't try this at home!

This trying storm is minimal and not expected to be the big whammy try, but it is headed right over Greenville, SC so I'm not stupid.  I know why this storm is coming this way.  I have checked with every one of my 16 friends and they all agree.  NEVER have I had such unanimous agreement and NOT ONE of my friends disagreed with me.  I also did a lot of study on this and I know that much time in study makes me correct.  If you notice, right over upstate South Carolina, right on top of Greenville is a "D"   I think this an obvious reference to myself.  Yes brethren, I am the "D".  Next week I will give 36 reasons why I know this to be true. There are other reasons why I believe I am correct in being the target of this weak try, but I cannot reveal them to you at this time.  Besides, I have given you enough and if this is not convincing, I cannot help you.  If this was not to be understood with this storm then why would it be revealed just prior to this storm?  We'd not be able to know which storm the Deity was trying to get our attention with if it was just some future thing.

I will have one final announcement after Halloween, perhaps if I can think up any more analogies and stuff.