Friday, March 25, 2011

Knock, Knock. Who's There? Another Armstrongite 'prophet', That's Who!



Move over HWA!  Move over Meredith!  Move over Flurry, Pack, Weinland, Cox!  You have new competition!  Well, actually you don't.  You are worthless, irrelvant, apostates who do not know the real god.


A new 'voice' is crying out in the wilderness and is here to save all of you lazy, good for nothing, smelly Laodiceans.  It is another HWA necromancy site. It's all things Herb, all the time. Lot's of cheesy videos of a nutjob that quickly grates on your ears after the first introduction! The Laodicean Knock


There are no true ministers of God left on earth except for this guy.:   L F Maschio  


At least Maschio has a new angle.  Instead of a god giddy with excitement about SPANKING the world with hoards of marching Germans or raging Islamic hoards, Maschio's god is year to 'knock' you.


After being a member, and serving for many years in different  organizations “both tyrannical and liberal”. Mr. Maschio was forced to conclude  that  every senior minister privileged to be ordained during the   Philadelphian era (of which we are aware) have either compromised  themselves,  become corrupt, or strayed from the faith. 
After the death of Herbert W Armstrong, men such as Garner Ted Armstrong, Gerald Flurry, Roderick C. Meredith, David C. Pack, David Hulme, Ronald Weinland and many others have dominated the landscape of Laodicea. Since then, the fruits of the collective ministry of groups such as the PCG, LCG, RCG, UCG, etc. have produced heresy, division, compromise, slander, failed prophecies, and self-righteousness!
These fruits have prompted the LIVING JESUS CHRIST into The Prophesied call to action in the form of a KNOCK to Laodicea.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Whoever yells & screams and pounds his fist the hardest ... wins !!

Anonymous said...

What does the "L.F." stand for? Out in "Left Field"?

Anonymous said...

If you look -- and I heartily advise you not to -- you will find that this is the recycled garbage of Armstrongism replete with British Israelism (the mention of the United States being Manasseh sort of gave it away). Those who were particularly fond of Joseph Tkach, Senior may note this loser is from the Chicago area.

If we assume for a moment that the Armstrongist Churches of God are Laodocean as this fruitbasket says, then... um... I guess the Church of God Seventh Day must be the Philadelphian Church. If you attended their services you might think so from the warmth of the congregations.

Well, anyway, the whole thing is just wrong, at every level! The hyperbole transcends the extreme nuttiness of Herbert Armstrong. This nutcase does add a new dimension though: It's amusing to stand back and watch the mud slinging. This has to be a good thing! Exposing those who cause divisions: Go get 'um, Tiger!

Unfortunately, there is nothing new here. All the old errors are in place, not the least is the extreme narcissism of the one man show in charge of this fiasco.

Ah! Fresh life! This guy may actually do our job for us! If he can draw all the people from the other slimy limey pastard scoundrels, then we could concentrate on taking him out. Consolidation is a good thing when it comes to insane nut cases.

I'm not much for prognostication, but to paraphrase Caeser: They'll come, they'll see, they'll be conquered, they'll flee. Veni, Vidi, Vici, Discedi!

Anonymous said...

Comparing Barak Obama to Antiochus IV Epiphanes in the Sabbath Sign booklet was a nice touch:

Where in Biblical History has anything similar to this occurred? Notice:

Daniel 11:21 And in his estate shall stand up a vile person, (Antiochus IV Epiphanes, the youngest son of Antiochus III “the Great”) to whom they shall not give the honour of the kingdom: but he shall come in peaceably, and obtain the kingdom by flatteries (profuseness). (Note: Antiochus IV Epiphanes assisted by his aid Eumenes, drives out Heliodorus to obtain the throne in 176 B.C.)


What ever happened to honoring your leaders and being subject to authorities, no matter how corrupt they are?

It could be trouble ahead from Homeland Security, but why bother with slapping a fruit gnat in the basement on the rotten fruit?

The Third Witness said...

Now I'm getting confused. There's also a booklet entitled "Just What is the Knock of Jesus Christ?" on a website that says it's "sponsored by The True Church of God".

Byker Bob said...

It would actually surprise me more if someone from the Armstrong ministry did something completely altruistic, somewhat normal, and fairly mainstream.

The bogus "church era" doctrine has caused so much finger pointing, guilt tripping, backbiting and hurt, not only to COG-7, but also within the splintered ACoG families today who attend different splinters from one another.

If you listen to the wind you can hear the Pharisee's prayer being prayed by the alleged Philadelphians.

BB

Byker Bob said...

Actually, I always consider it more remarkable when someone from the Armstrong movement does something normal, totally altruistic, and somewhat mainstream!

The bogus "church era" doctrine has caused so much unChristian behavior, hurt, and damage over the years, starting with the damage done when COG-7 was branded as "Sardis", or "dead". Today, it continues to splinter families, some of whose members attend different of the splinter groups and are forbidden to so much as speak to one another!

If you listen to the wind, you can hear the Pharisees's Prayer being recited by self-labeled Philadelphians around the world.

BB

Byker Bob said...

Sorry for the rebop. My first attempt at this appeared to be lost in cyberspace, but apparently not!

BB

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

We were told in the 1960s/1970s that the mother Church - The Church of God Seventh Day - was the Sardis era. Fast forward 50 years, The Church of God, Seventh Day is anything but dead. It is alive and well with a worldwide reach.

The dead church seems to be what is left of the Worldwide Church of God and its splinters.

The Lake of Fire Church of God is doing a true Philadelphian work ministering "brotherly love" to those condemned for having a brain and leaving Armstrongism.

Richard

Anonymous said...

Two globes in his office. I know I'm impressed. If he holds them both up at the same time, he'll look like just another boob

Anonymous said...

"....did something completely altruistic, somewhat normal, and fairly mainstream."

Not going to happen, at least with the the remaining members of HWA's SS Corp (Meredith, Pack, Flurry, etc)

One of the marketing tools of HWA was to not only discredit, but demonize the opposition (the rest of Christendom) as apostate in order to prevent his flock (and those tithes) from straying. Demonstrating that the opposition was in doctrinal error wasn't good enough- he had to undermine every aspect of their belief system.

Since the NT concept of "love," and all that entails, is part and parcel of mainstream Christianity, it was also on the HWA hit list. This is why HWA and his malformed ministerial progeny mocked, and to this day mock, the concept of altruism as being the highest, and most important, characteristic of being a Christian- love trumps the law, etc. This is why there were no WWCG soup kitchens or outreaches to the poor and needy. It wasn't just the money, but a rejection of what they saw as false doctrine. It also appealed to many, for to observe the Sabbath and refrain from eating pork sausage is much easier than loving your neighbor.

This worldview was perfected by the refrain, "keeping the law is love." I think that was a scripture or something. Also, there was the Millennial reign of Christ- god wasn't interested in "fixing" the world as it is today. He'll fix it later with a rod of iron and so outreach is a waste of time and resources.

Anyway. My opinion (and I think has some truth to it) as to why Armstrongites will never abase themselves by stooping so low as to show compassion for their fellow man.

Paul Ray

PS: I remember GTA actually mocking the concept of soup kitchens.

Anonymous said...

It's also pathetic. The Vigilant Church of God, which should be better known as the Vigilante Church of god, seems to be built on the silly notion that the world which brought "success" to Herbert Armstrong is the world we have today.

Wrong.

The cold war, uncertainties about the world going nuclear, the time of hippies and protest movements, respect for authority (beginning to crumble) and one service provider for telephones -- Ma Bell (AT&T) are relics of the past. Furthermore, the Internet certain levels the playing field. Deceptions don't last long. In fact, with twits tweeting on Twitter, limited to 240 characters per twit (as a weird sort of quantum communications measurement), nothing lasts very long. News, such as it is, runs from one sound bite to another in a dizzying array of distractions quickly forgotten.

Because of heavy media loading, hardly anyone reads anymore and analytical thought has given way to mental task switching, leaving the general populace on the edge of dementia.

So we now have the VCoG, which could mean something virtual (no mention of the Feast of Tabernacles... yet), which promises a grand new vision of excitement for bored Church of God housewives who so want to believe in the Great Tribulation, the Place of Safety and the Kingdom of God, where they'll be pampered as royalty and neither be bored anymore or be even less than ordinary as they are now. They've been promised something for nothing, and darn it all, here's someone promising it to them all over again! It's the religious male version of Sarah Palin! Hoo Rah!

It doesn't matter that the whole proposition of eras of the church can't be supported by Scripture itself, let alone that Waldensians never considered themselves anything but better Catholics. It doesn't matter that the doctrines were stolen from the CoG7 and then heresyified with British Israelism. It doesn't matter that the whole venue was established by a pervert false prophet. It doesn't matter that the believers now have a brand new idolatry to pursue and that the whole thing is insanity.

Oh, no!

Bring it on! We need to return to the delusions once delivered! It's Scientology dressed up in Sabbath clothes, keeping the Feast.

Except... it's so 19th Century all over again.

Anonymous said...

So help me figure out a fair price.

As you all know, I have skills in Internet development and applications. My plan now is to set up a software package which can be fed a number of parameters and variables set, and then the whole thing pretty much unpacks itself.

The problem we are trying to solve is that it seems that a week doesn't go by and another Armstrongist Church of god starts up. There are so many of them and it's quite a bother to figure out how to set them up. Why not have an entire off-the-shelf package which could build absolutely everything pretty much automatically.

It's time has come.

So when you're out there in the thick of things and when I'm finished, when you get ready to set up your brand new CoG, just remember:

There's an app for that!

No, not one said...

*weak clapping*

Another nice one, ladies. You trounced that new nutbag from A to B.

You bargain-basement theologians make it painfully obvious why the Internet is still free.

Anonymous said...

I would like to know what happened to L. F. Maschio? I was surprise he even lasted this long.