Friday, July 25, 2014

The PCG Dating Game: "My name is Jesse. I’m originally from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and I'm divorced from a Laodicean."

Time to bring back "Jim Lange" and the "DATING GAME" , but this time as a globally podcasted affair for PCG singles!

Could go something like this...

Welcome to another exciting episode of THE D-A-T-I-N-G G-A-M-E! I’m Jim Lame, your host for the PCG Dating Game. In just a moment you will meet a young lady who will have the opportunity to choose one lucky man for a fabulous Philadelphian Marriage, based only on their answers to her questions. But, first let’s meet our bachelors. And HEEEEEEEE-RE THEY ARRRRRRRR-RE!
(Bachelors ENTER STAGE LEFT in order 1-3 and each stand in front of their stools.)

JIM: Bachelor number one, please tell us your name and where you’re from.

BACH. 1: My name is Joey and I’m from Detroit and I have read Malachi's Message 14 times, and I give ALL of my money to Mr. Flurry

JIM: Thank you, Joey. Please take your seat. Bachelor number two?

BACH. 2: Hello, Jim. My name is Jesse. I’m originally from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and I'm divorced from a Laodicean. I left my disabled son at the subway station according to directives from Mr. Flurry.

JIM: Bachelor number three, please tell us your name and where you’re from.

BACH. 3: I’m Danny. I’m from Gods Earthly Headquarters in Edmond Oklahoma, and I tweeze the dichondra on the campus and polish the brass fixtures there at Gods Auditorium, and I gave my fathers entire $750k estate to "The Work" after he died from a curable medical disease.

JIM: (To the audience) Now, let’s bring out our bachelorette. Please welcome…from Sacramento, California…Peggy Inneed.

Peggy: Im afraid Jim that we can go straight to the conclusion here because Mr. Davis has already arranged my marriage partner, and has approval from Stephen and Gerald Flurry to do so. I "accept" his decision , I therefore take Bachelor #3.

BACH. 3: (Comes out to greet Peggy) Peggy, it is your faith that has brought me here. (holds her trembling hand)

PEGGY: Wow, you are so much different than I imagined. Suddenly I feel…I feel really SUICIDAL!

BACH. 3: I have that affect on people.

JIM: And now, Johnny will tell us about the fabulous date you won.

ANNOUNCER: Peggy and Danny, the producers of the PCG Dating Game are going to send you out on a date you will never forget. Your day will start with a tour of Gods Auditorium. Yes, that’s right, the HWA Auditorium . America’s playground. Lunch served at the buffet cafeteria in the student center with Kosher approved foods. You heard me right, Godly quality kosher. You will also tour the HWA "Prayer Rock" and get to meet the Elijah, Gerald Flurry himself, where he will present you with an autographed "6 pack" and signed edition of the "Missing Dimension in Sex". Congratulations, Peggy and Danny and thanks for playing the Dating Game.

JIM: Thank you to all our triple tithing coworkers and our audience. Good night, everyone. Until next time…

(Play theme song and throw kisses on the screens)

(All blow a kiss to the audience. Wave good-bye as all EXIT STAGE RIGHT)

(Fade song after all have exited and LIGHTS OUT)

ht to Connie!


Byker Bob said...

Well, it would become interesting if suddenly there were interracial online dating at PCG. Frankly, since Flurry has outlawed children, that would seem to eliminate his primary objection to this. Still, I'd just bet he'd suffer a massive coronary if one of his children married a non-white!

My advice to the Flurryites, based on personal experience, is that interracial dating is a blast!


old EXPCG hag said...

I would have picked 2. He's kinda sexy!

Connie Schmidt said...

LIKE! ✔✔✔

Anonymous said...

Go get your nigger-aids Byker Bob, it's your destiny.

Byker Bob said...

Anon1:14, I don't restrict myself to just one race. I enjoy Asians, Cauc-Asians, Latinas, Native Americans, and occasionally a Sister.

You do realize that this is 2014, right??? While years ago, one used to hear that horrible word you posted multiple times per day, your post was only the second time I've read or heard it this year! I'm guessing you are a Cauccer?


Anonymous said...

Obviously BB you don't hang out with the black kids at my school. They say it all the time.

Byker Bob said...

There is a subtle difference, Anon. The kids don't spell it with "ers" as the last syllable, they prefer "az", and it's a private word, offensive if used outside of the AA community. Just like it's OK for Hispanics to call each other "ese" (pronounced essay), but offensive if a gabacho uses it on them.

Of course, you could be like danger seeker Rex Kramer in Kentucky Fried Movie. Who knows, that might be available on youtube.


Redfox712 said...

I wish to state here that PCG does teach against interracial marriage.

"In Genesis 6, the conditions at the time of Noah are explained. Three specific conditions are mentioned: 1) Marrying according to their own choice, rather than subscribing to God’s laws in the choice of a mate; 2) Extreme corruption; and 3) Extreme violence." (Ron Fraser, South Africa in Prophecy, Chapter 3, p. 21.)

"Such anti-God themes are a precursor to CONFUSION, division and strife! South Africa will reap the curses of correction imposed by an all-wise, all-loving Father who created mankind and set the racial bounds over which He commanded Israel not to cross!" (Ron Fraser, South Africa in Prophecy, Chapter 3, p. 23.)

Some of the nation’s princes reported to Ezra that the people were racially intermarrying with the nations around them. Moses had recorded that God forbade interracial marriage (Deuteronomy 7:1-3). Ezra was devastated that this sin was being committed in Judah. He immediately began a fast because this sin threatened to destroy the fledgling nation. But what depressed Ezra the most about this sin was that some priests, Levites and princes were leading the people into this catastrophic rebellion. God’s own ministers were the chief sinners. (Gerald Flurry and Dennis Leap, Building God's Temple: Ezra and Nehemiah, Chapter 5, p. 45.)

Remember that Ezra had corrected the people for interracial marriage (Ezra 10). It appears that not everyone immediately complied. Nehemiah 9 includes the account of others who later also repented of this national sin. This chapter records the very moving, repentant prayer of the people. The people did deeply repent of some serious sins. If only our people could learn from their own history! The nations of Israel could be saved from a disastrous end if they repented of their sins like these people did anciently. (Gerald Flurry and Dennis Leap, Building God's Temple: Ezra and Nehemiah, Chapter 7, p. 73.)

Of course needless to say since British Israelism is not true it is completely inaccurate to use these events to justify the totally discredited ideology of white supremacy that forbade "non-whites" from marrying the supposedly superior "white race". These incidents in Ezra and Nehemiah are not predecessors of the ancestors of the "white" American and British peoples. They are separate peoples.

What a monstrosity it is that PCG's leaders have assumed for themselves the "right" to interfere with PCG members' lives in such an intimate manner.

Anonymous said...

LOL, That's a hilarious Dating Game!

It's no wonder that a defender of Armstrongism felt obliged to lash out against it in typical racist armstrongist manner!