Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Satan Has Been Busy! He Attacks Bob Thiel AND Living Church of God

Last week Almost-arrested, Elisha, Elijah, Amos, Joshua, Habakkuk, second witless witness, God's African prophet and disappointing "son" of Rod Meredith posted that Satan had attacked his video stream.

Our websites were down for a couple of hours last Sabbath because of some type of, what we think, was a robotic attack that filled up storage space. While we have protection for that in certain places, this particular attack succeeded for a time. But this was noted and corrected. We do not think this was a humanly deliberate attack against us, but Satan was probably more directly behind it. We also upgraded some aspects of the websites Sunday, which also made them temporarily unavailable. But the websites have been functioning fine since.

Now Gerald Weston is claiming Satan attacked LCG's recent nearly flawless transmission. Satan did this to "create havoc" in the LCG.  I think Germano, Lil'Jimmy and others have been doing a fine job of that without Satan's help.

From an LCG source:

March 23, 2017
By Gerald Weston
Greetings from Charlotte,
We received many very positive reports from last week’s live transmission. The Television and Internet Departments, along with the translators for Spanish and French, did a wonderful job. Because of a few glitches that occurred prior to transmission, and the near flawless transmission itself, it is evident to me that Satan wanted to create havoc, but Christ intervened, stopped him, and turned the Sabbath into a great success. We can safely say that approximately 5,500 members and families watched the service live. For those congregations that were not able to receive the live sermon, please see instructions below on how you can still view it. The Tomorrow’s World Presentation in Cape Town, South Africa was attended by 233 guests and 47 members, for a total of 280. In all, we had 341 guests attend the three TWPs in South Africa these past two weeks. Dr. Winnail returned from his visit with encouraging reports regarding the South African congregations and their leaders. Mr. Paul Shumway reported on a very profitable visit he and Mr. Damian Weekes had to Guyana and Brazil. His report reads like the Apostle Paul’s journeys found in the book of Acts. Your prayers for these faithful but scattered brethren, some of whom live under trying circumstances, are greatly appreciated. In my weekly visit with Dr. Meredith, he again mentioned how encouraging the cards from members, and even individuals not in our fellowship, are to him. Mr. Ames is doing well overall, but it is going to take some time for him to regain his full strength. Please remember both of these men in your prayers.—GEW
The LCG source writes:

Is it just me or does Gerald sound completely insane?! And there's no way they had 5500 watchers. Notice how he tries to make it sound like 5500+ their families. In reality, it wasn't likely even 5500 INCLUDING every man woman and baby on a sleeping mat!


Anonymous said...

The devil screwed up my tv this past Sunday night causing me to miss an episode of The Walking Dead. LOL

Michael said...

"Because of a few glitches that occurred prior to transmission, and the near flawless transmission itself, it is evident to me that Satan wanted to create havoc, but Christ intervened, stopped him, and turned the Sabbath into a great success."

Wow, words fail to express what an excessive aura of self-importance this statement betrays.
Some insignificant glitches in an insignificant transmission for an insignificant religious group, but no, it's all due to an epic level of interplay between the ruler of all the cosmos and his arch-nemesis, Satan.

Hoss said...

If the "protection" used by the web host was Norton's AntiSatan, they should realize it's only a beta test version.

I would be more inclined to say a glitch, or at worst, a malevolent hacker.

Byker Bob said...

You'd just have to know that a group with a fractured version of Jesus would have an equally fractured version of Satan.

Frankly, this glitch Weston complains of doesn't even rise to the level of a mild annoyance. Some of the mistreated church teenagers could easily accomplish more damage than this!

Doesn't anyone in the Armstrong movement ever tire of their ancient pseudosanctimonious cliches? Repeating the same organized chain of Bible verses is almost understandable. However, one would expect that living in more sophisticated times would force them to rise to the occasion with a higher level of cliches. Nobody in the secular world calls things boss or groovy any more. Why do Armstrongites continue to invoke Satanic attacks to explain minor inconveniences that most people would just shrug off and roll with?

In the immortal words of Lou Reed, "Valium would have helped that bash!" So, hey Jerry, take a chill pill!


Anonymous said...

It's easy to notice the absence of Bill Bowmer's editorial perfection within Weston's update.

DennisCDiehl said...

There is Anti-Malignant Spirit software available from a company run by Bill GatesO'Hell called "Where in My Computer is Satan?"

While detecting mainly Satan, Demons, Familiar Spirits and their earthly counterparts, it also detects , as a bonus if you act NOW, Werewolves, Vampires and the Walking Dead. These are then cast into the Lake of Fire folder.

You can't ever totally destroy them as they seem eternal but the quarantine is good and lasts up to a thousand years. The virus could return but we'd not be here anyway and it would only be for a little season anyway before it evaporates.

This should easily clear up any future transmission problems in the Church. The software, sad to say, does not come with a Tithe or Offering money back guarantee.

A free demon-stration is available upon request.

DennisCDiehl said...

Sorry, the software is called "Where in My Transmission is Satan" Didn't mean to be the author of confusion on that. My bad. I am having issues with Satan in my laptop and that's the version I bought. "WIMTIS" is for corporations souless and those associate with the Seven Church Errors.

Anonymous said...

Although the message is laughable (nearly all LCG video activity have problems - they just need better techs), the figure of 5500 people is really doable because nearly all LCG congregations in the US, Canada and Latin America watched the service live.

Anonymous said...

It's easy to notice the absence of Bill Bowmer's editorial perfection within Weston's update.

Amazing! Dick Ames now posts to Banned! No one else would have written what "Anon" 5:37 just wrote.

Take my word, Bowmer isn't "editorial perfection." He dismissed young writers and wouldn't let them grow. He thought that because he was Dick Ames's pet he had the right to impose his and Ames's doctrinal approach on LCG's entire Media division. Bowmer is an arrogant, rigid, out of touch control freak who overestimates his skills and his importance. On top of all that, he is probably homosexual.

Ames liked it that Bowmer worked hard to make him look smarter than he really is. However, other than Ames and a couple of homosexuals he favored on the LCG HQ staff, nobody thinks of Bowmer as "editorial perfection." Because of Ames, Bowmer assumed that he could intimidate people into staying silent about his abuses and his problems. Intimidating people into silence is not exactly "editorial perfection." I don't think Bowmer ever recovered from the bitterness he felt at being removed as head of LCG's Internet efforts, as he kept on trying to take over LCG's Internet projects long after it was no longer his job.

Weston is lucky that Bowmer left before he arrived, because he knew a lot of insider secrets and would have been a tough problem to fix.

Black Ops Mikey said...

It's unlikely that Satan would attack his own in this manner.

And who knew that the Devil is really a cyber hacker?

No, no.

Never attribute to malevolence against the ACoGs that which can be conveniently explained by incompetence.

-- or --

Did anyone ever think that God Himself wanted to put a temporary hold on this little cult as a WARNING!!

Huh! Ever think of that??!!

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:37 said "It's easy to notice the absence of Bill Bowmer's editorial perfection within Weston's update."

Absence? Bowmer is still working for Dick Ames and Wally Smith behind the scenes.

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:47 PM: If Bowmer still works behind the scenes, then he sabotages his work because some articles in recent TW magazines were awful!