Monday, April 3, 2017

The Woo Woo Masters


Definition of woo–woo

  1. :  dubiously or outlandishly mystical, supernatural, or unscientific thinking, practices and beliefs

  2. And she has written a book … in which she dismisses what she calls “woo-woo spirituality” in favor of some straight talk on living with loss … 
  3. — Linda Richman

  4. Energy beams from the eyes certainly sounds like woo-woo stuff …
  5.  — Steve Blow
Jesus Christ returning to Wadsworth, Ohio where Dave Pack can preach, "He walks with ME, and he talks with ME and he tells ME I am his own"  is pure Woo Woo
__Dennis Diehl


 nounOne man's woo-woo, of course, is another's deeply held belief system. — Julia Moskin
When teaching therapeutic massage at a local college, one of the classes I taught was on watching out for quackery or "woo woo" as it is wont to be called in the field.  I endeavored to instill in students that not every modality that is available to them in massage therapy is something they might want to risk charging people for and that making dubious claims, perhaps outside their scope of practice , may cause them nothing but trouble.

I demonstrated not only the dangers of but the lousy science associated with ear candling.  Ear Candling is the idea that vast amounts of debris can be drawn out of the ear canal with a flaming cone candle which sets up a suction drawing the debris out of the ear.  It does not and cannot work as advertised and it is dangerous to boot.  Some charge $50 for this service and it is simply a useless procedure.  I demonstrated this by doing an ear candling on a student and burning another candle in a cup. I then unrolled both and had them tell me which one was in the ear and which in the cup.  They were both the same.  The "wax" came from the candle, not the ear.

Another bit of woo woo was "Ionic Foot Baths".  In this, one's feet soak, and it feels great, in a slightly electrified foot bath with salts added to the water.  Soon "scum" makes it's appearance in the water and was once said, until the Government said enough of this BS, yellow scum was from the speen, brown was nicotine,  green was from the liver and so on.  Like foot pads that "release toxins" in the feet, it is bogus.  If one leaves the feet out of the bath, the salt and electricity produce the scum anyway.  It's bad science and a $50 scam I warned them not to sell in their practice if they knew what was good for them.
In Therapeutic Massage some are taught "to drink a lot of water because we push around a lot of toxins"  Studies has shown this to be less than dramatically true and "a lot of water" for some is cup while others will risk death and drink gallons. 
Sermons in the churches of God can stir up a lot of toxins as well or more than not, be the source of them driving one to drink without being advised to. 
I once worked for a Chiropractor who had a stim unit with three settings.  Low, Medium and Spirit.  No really, the highest setting was "Spirit! "  I asked him why he had that and he admitted he didn't know and "It's just bullshit" and smiled.    We lost more clients on that setting than the other two combined.  His Reflexologist made life decisions by asking Spirit to show her three yellow truck on the way to work if the answer was yes to her questions.  Woo Woo.    She almost got fired for making a client winch when getting reflexology and when he did said, "Did that hurt? have a heart condition."   Woo Woo! and practicing outside the scope of her practice as do  Dave Pack , Gerald Flurry, Bob Thiel , and all other split, splinter and sliver Woo Wooartists. 
I have my doubts about practices such as homeopathy, (all our drinking water has "the essence" of every drug ever produced),  reflexology (do I affect my heart stepping on small stones too?) and various forms of "energy work."  
At a seminar once, when my skepticism was still fresh from my WCG experience, we were doing energy work and "feeling" the energy around the body without touching it.  "Can you feel it?" asked the teacher,  Everyone said  "uh...yes!  I feel it".  Well ....I said, "Not really" and then it began.  "I don't actually either...",  "Me either....." and before it could spread too far the teacher said it was not important yet at this point to feel it and moved on quickly.  LOL  
There is plenty of Woo Woo in the Churches of God and in the leadership of those churches.
Dave Pack is a Woo Woo Master with his never ending Waterhousian speculations about how Christ will return, when and where along with his glorious part in it all.  He's simply full of Woo Woo and NONE of what Dave says will every happen .  In fact, I guarantee it, both in this age and in the age to come . Dave's use the scriptures is pathetic and toxic to his followers.  It will not end well.
Gerald Flurry is also a Woo Woo Master in the style of Dave Pack, or maybe it is Dave who is in Gerald's style of Woo Woo.   Gerald is given to Prayer Rock, Stones of Scone and Ark of the Covenant Woo Woo .  There is some Song of Solomon Woo Woo thrown in their somewhere for some reason but that is called Woo Hoo in some circles.  
Dr. Thiel is a Woo Woo Master as seen in his self ordination simply because someone asked Bob's God to give him a double portion of the Spirit when being anointed for sinus drainage. (Just kidding.  I don't know the malady he had when anointed. Perhaps Biggisegoitis which is a swelling of the head.   From that Bob  practices  his own Woo Woo and then dreams himself into a Prophet and Head Woo Woo Master of yet another only true church.  Bob has a tendency to Major in the Minor Woo Woos when he sermonizes but how he got to be so important a theologian in his own mind is by pure Woo Woo, mystical and magical.
Ron Weinland was a Financial Woo Woo Master with a major emphasis on a message of End Time  Woo Woo, which, like Dave Pack's Woo Woo, never did, ever will or ever could come to pass.  His Apostleship was also a function of Woo Woo magic and theological maneuvering and manipulation.  It's difficult , and you have to be creative in anointing yourself an Apostle with no backing from others, but with the right application of Woo Woo, it happens like magic!  You simple wear down your congregation and by the time they have had enough and want to go eat lunch, you announce,  "And yes brethren, I am an Apostle."  Sure, fine, whatever....let's eat.  
Joe Tkach got himself caught up in Evangelical Woo Woo complete with Gods a many , well three and all the Woo Woo of Incarnational Theology. While this is the mare traditional theology of Christianity, Woo Woo nonetheless and like all religious thought, can be contemplated but never proven to be real or factual.  It's a feel good Woo Woo with precious little appeal to Church of God types who simply have to have their prophetic Woo Woo to keep them in their seats, paying, praying, obeying, gyrating  and staying. 
Quackery is alive and well in the Churches of God.  It mainly settles around the self proclaimed credentials of the Woo Woo Master and his prophetic rants, speculations and pathetic manipulation of scriptures making them mean what they never meant or can mean.  While entertaining at times and providing excellent examples of how the human mind can become toxic with God-Haunted views, those associated with, following minus critical thinking and caution and just sure their man is preachin' God's truth are going to be in for one sorry surprise in time.  
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof and there simple is none for the claims of the Church of God Woo Woo Masters.  


Byker Bob said...

Armstrongism has always been the National Enquirer version of a religion. What causes this?

In the transfiguration scene, just as Moses (representing the law) and Elijah (representing the prophets) are fading and disappearing, in Mark 9:7, the voice of God booms out "This is my beloved Son with whom I am well pleased. Listen to HIM." Learned theologians have interpreted this as symbolizing the fading of the law and the prophets, taking a position of lesser importance to Jesus as a totally new era began for mankind. So, what does Armstrongism do? It teaches people to get all woo woo about the law, and about prophecy! They get OCD on these elements rather than emphasizing what the Old Covenant was pointing towards. The result is a strange collection of Pharisaic fantasizers who look down on non-members and look forward to them being punished.

The fruits of Armstrongism, caused by woo woo interpretations of the words of the prophets, are not written on the subway walls. These days, they are carefully documented at the Exit and Support Network website!


Connie Schmidt said...

I suggest that guys like Pack, Flurry, Weinland et al, are more properly referred to as the ...


Minimalist said...

Always thought the Tkaches, father and son, were suckers trading one unfounded philosophy for another.

Anonymous said...

Need a bible? Now you can bake your very own with this easy recipe:

Thoroughly mix 1 part poetry, 1 part mythology, 1 part history, and 1 part woo.

Pour into a pan greased with tithe money and bake at 120° for a thousand years.

Byker Bob said...

At any given point in time, there seem to be natural barriers or limitations to what man as a species can know for a fact, especially as regards the answers to deep philosophical questions. There is also a simultaneous yearning deep inside of all of us to know more than whatever answers can be provided by fellow humans. Getting around these limitations seems to be one of the major themes presented in the tale of Eve and the serpent in the Garden of Eden. The same yearning prompted the Kool Aid experiments of Timothy Leary and the early Hippies in the Bay area of California in the mid-1960s.

The thing is, the barriers and natural curiosity open the door to panderers who have no better answers than the rest of us, but who are sufficiently articulate orators that they can convincingly pretend to fill these needs, even as they present irrational and ridiculous ideas. Armstrongist teachers and their descendents certainly fall into this category. The problem is that in order to continue to attract attention to themselves, they must ever become more and more captivating. If a little woo woo is good, the reasoning goes, a lot is better. The peoples' minds that are already pre-conditioned to this crap become progressively enmeshed in this garbage, often without realizing what has been done to them. You cannot call this a placebo, because of the harmful side effects wrought.


Dennis Diehl said...

BB.....And too if the story of the Transfiguration is symbolic, which it no doubt is, and not literal, then so too may the Birth n Death accounts of Jesus be , which they are.

Black Ops Mikey said...

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary Evidence.

Armstrongism is the exception and will present no evidence whatsoever and whenever someone like Tucker Carson presses for an answer, they will duck the question by disingenuous dissimulation, or better yet, just ignore the problems and pretend no one questions what they do.

The methodologies are thoroughly documented in "Creating the Innovation Culture: Leveraging Visionaries, Dissenters and other Useful Troublemakers in Your Organization", to wit:

1. Arguing;
2. Listening but not hearing;
3. Laughing it off (accompanied by scorn and mocking);
4. Ignoring;
5. Making invisible;
6. Forbidding;
7. Getting rid of the Dissenter.

It's difficult to turn the tables, since the leaders have power over the group (in spite of the fact that the peons are the ones footing the bill, paying to be abused).

About the only thing to do is get in their face, present unassailable facts, go after their 'customer base' and be relentless about it. The best of all worlds is to get their followers to turn against them (and we have a prime example of that back in 2005).

Anonymous said...

Too much Woo woo ......can cause your mind to go Boo whoo ................then it's all down hill and you are in the Poo poo.............

Anonymous said...

I will agree that most of the things in the article are woo woo, but i have had positive experiences with ear candling. It creates a vacuum which sucks out the ear wax. The wax has to be presoftened with several days of putting warm olive oil in the affected ear. One does hear a lot of popping when candling, and then whosh and suddenly one can hear much better. The alternative is having ones ears flushed out with water at a doctors office. This works quicker and maybe better, but again a person has to soften the wax with warm olive oil for a few days prior to the treatment.

As far as looking in the candle afterwards, yes there are clumps of wax and some are obviously from the candle, but wax from the ear does look different - more gross. As far as burning 2 candles at the same time and examining the results - no I haven't done that because those candles are damned expensive. But one can buy the candles yourself and do it preferably with another person who can make sure you don't burn yourself.

The results are proof enough for me that it works.

Byker Bob said...

I believe the transfiguration was a real miracle, Dennis, but had some symbolism attached to it. Of course, I fully acknowledge that the Boble also contains allegories, metaphors and other verbal constructs which are purely symbolism.


DennisCDiehl said...

Anon said: "I will agree that most of the things in the article are woo woo, but i have had positive experiences with ear candling. It creates a vacuum which sucks out the ear wax"

Actually it creates no "Vacuum" and nothing can pass thru the ear drum which is just a short way down the canal but I understand the fact some swear by it. If people had that much in their ears they would be deaf. What the "woosh" may be is simply pressure changes and I have known some to tell a client to pinch the nose and do the pop thing as if that was connected with the candleing, which it is not. Whatever is happening for you, it is not the candle sucking the ear clean. It just is not possible. Warmth feels good, but again it is not sufficient, nor would you wish it to be , to melt wax in the ear. One drop of hot wax on the ear drum or falling ash down the tube and you'll wish you'd rinsed with warm water. But each to their own. It is popular and those who believe, like in religion, believe no matter the facts of it all.

Anonymous said...

Good analysis, Dennis. I now have the privilege of living about 15 miles from one of the main Woo capitals of the world, Sedona. If you've ever been there, you know what I mean. There are more psychics and other deceivers and their woosey followers in that small burg than probably anywhere else on earth. I've tried to fathom what it is in us primates that leads us to be so attracted to the simplistic and extreme and still don't totally understand it.

Allen C. Dexter

Anonymous said...

Dennis, earwax is in the ear canal which is close to the surface, it is not near the eardrum which is way further in the ear at the end of the canal. Nothing has to go thru the eardrum. Maybe you don't get wax buildup in the ear canal, but many people do especially after having a bad cold. Yes it does make you deaf too, but usually only one ear, at least for me. It is like wearing earplugs. If you go to a doctor they will look in your ear and can see the wax. It might be a good idea to see a doctor to also determine if you had an ear infection, in which case probably candling wouldn't hurt but a water flush at the doctors would be bad.

So I know ear candling works and I do lose my faith in sites like scopes who also claim it is fake. A vacuum is formed as long as a tight seal is made when putting the candle into the ear only going in as far as an earplug would, and then the fire sucks up the air creating a vacuum, then hopefully the wax comes out too. If it works a person can miraculously hear from an ear that formerly was blocked.

Dennis Diehl said...

The American Academy of Audiology would take issue with you