Dave Pack: "I have often thought that my entire life has been one most privileged."

The quotes below are from the introduction to Dave Pack's "Authorized Autobiography." Can there ever have been a greater human being to walk this green earth and to lead a Church of God?  Not even Bob Thiel is this superfantastic!  The narcissism runs deep!

I have often thought that my entire life has been one most privileged. Of course, living in a modern Western nation is enough in itself to make this true. Just the list of extraordinary physical blessings enjoyed is nearly without end. I had wonderful parents, an unusually productive first marriage of over 36 years, with God blessing us with three children—and many grandchildren. There has now been the very happy, and quite unexpected, blessing of a second wife, also completely committed to God’s Way. I have traveled theworld, and met many remarkable people along the way.

Obviously, the greatest blessing in my life has been God’s calling into His Church, Work and truth now well over 40 years ago. Nothing could compare to the gift of learning and understanding the marvelous doctrines of God. My calling almost immediately involved a decision that altered the course of my life more than any other: the opportunity to attend Ambassador College. This in turn led to being placed into the ministry of Jesus Christ now approaching 40 years ago. Such a life-altering additional calling meant a host of diverse assignments, always in interesting cities and regions of the country, and working with and assisting many thousands of people, including leaders, in a ministerial setting.

These became the foundation for many of the events experienced and lessons learned related throughout these volumes.

Dave's life is so supferfantaulous that his writers cannot even figure out where to start chronicling his life.  Imagine living a transcendent life like Dave!

Since an unusually wide range of experiences has enriched my life, a certain problem was created for the writers: which stories and encounters should be included in the biography. Of course, there were certain ones that had to be incorporated because of their transcending influence or impact on my life. The biography would fail in purpose if it did not contain them, coupled with an explanation of why they were important. This alone meant a lot of material needed to be included. 

For some reason, Dave fails to mention the trail of destruction and ruined lives he left behind in EVERY church area he served at.  Someone else had to come in and clean up his messes every single time.

Dave claims his god had a hand in his life just as god supposedly had a hand in Herbert Armstrong's life.

When the overall picture is seen, it becomes evident that God had His hand on me as a young man, and, as with Herbert W. Armstrong, there were times His guidance was very clear in my life. This was most obvious when looking back, rather than around from the middle of an ongoing experience or trial. Taken together, the stories and accounts chosen either carried significant lessons or in some fashion helped define me.

As the holy child of God, Dave's mother recognized his magnificence early on:

As a young boy, my mother characterized me as “a child with great capacity for enjoyment.” This personality trait probably most summarizes my approach to everything and still describes me today. I have always seen life in brilliant colors. This had an automatic effect on how wonderfully blessed I have felt myself to be during the over six decades of my life. To this day, those closest to me marvel at the enthusiasm with which I seem to embrace almost everything before me.

When one lives a life so superfantabulous, the critics come out and deliberately lie about such magnificent men as Dave.  Dave therefore had to set the record straight:

Over the years, much, in fact most, of what has been written and spoken about me is either completely false or badly distorted. Through the Internet, these stories have proliferated and multiplied. That much of this information has been negative comes as no surprise. It is human nature to pass along gossip, true or false. But it is human nature to suppose that most of the stories are true, if only because this is easy. I had to eventually accept that this may be partly because there is no factual alternative to which to turn. I also had to recognize that some in the splinters of the Worldwide Church of God could miss out on participation in the true Work and Church of God if we did not do this. 

As if ANYONE in ANY of the splinter groups is "missing out" on the awesomeness of Dave's life.  They know enough about his crap to not join up with him over the past three years, as he predicted they would be.

Only Jesus has been tested more than Dave's personal life.  He is such an amazing dude!

My entire life has been a series of tests of faith. There have been numerous health trials, and more than the average person. There have been almost nonstop slander and persecution, coupled with demotion and unexpected transfers. Then there has been the challenge of having been drafted into the military after God had called me, the trials and blessings of paying third tithe, in addition to tests in the workplace for one year associated with taking time off to observe God’s Holy Days. And there are the many—and often severe—financial trials that God always saw me through. I also worked directly under several ministers who did not have God’s Holy Spirit, and almost seemed to set out to prove it—their later decisions before or during the apostasy plainly evidenced this. There was of course also the long, protracted illness in 2006 and 2007, culminating in death, of my first wife.

Some will say the stories and relationships described are embellished and/or exaggerated. They are not. They come from real events. They happened! (In fact, many punches had to be pulled just to keep certain names out.) The accounts of those I met and associated with involved real people inside and outside the Church. 

Dave is so confident in his awesomeness that he has geared his story towards 6 different groups of people:

Finally, the biography has been written so that it speaks to as many as six separate audiences. First would be members of The Restored Church of God. Second are those who were once in the Worldwide Church of God. These may be in or out of the splinters today, but are trying to find where God’s Church, Work, Truth and Government continue.

The third group consists of those God is calling now who may have the same interest in my background as I and so many others did in Mr. Armstrong’s preparation and training. Fourth would be the public press. These should at least have an opportunity to read an alternative to what God’s enemies state about His Church and its leaders.

Fifth would be young people in the Church who might benefit in the same way that Mr. Armstrong felt his early life experiences benefited young people of decades ago. Many will recall he excerpted into a small booklet his “Early Years” solely for this purpose.

Sixth are all true ministers of God today. The experiences recorded here become a guide of helpful counseling tools, organizational tips, methods used and painful lessons learned involving mistakes to be avoided that hopefully can be useful for the remainder of these last days. We live in a complicated age, and any additional assistance and voice of experience that can be offered can only help.

No one in the Church of God has ever lived a life that was as extraordinary as Dave's!  Read it and weep Bob Thiel and Gerald Weston!  You apostates!  Dave's life will soon be included in scripture as a worthy life to emulate.

I believe that what the reader will encounter captures the extraordinary life I have lived, and it offers an opportunity for others to learn from my experiences. I certainly did.