Monday, August 6, 2018

COG Wars: When they got their own planets...the unavoidable was destined


Anonymous said...

Here is the second comparison video of dave pack to other frauds and he is in many ways way worse. Please share and help make people aware so no new people will enter HIS SNARE.

Thank you

Glenn said...

This is great! Very creative.

Anonymous said...

I caught a glimpse of the explanatory trailer for this movie. It said this......

The Leader of the THIELONS, on the USS CONTINUING, IS A BREAKAWAY from the MERRIDASIANS - a fringe galaxy group with a strange fetish for SPANKINGS. The THIELON leader talks huge but carries a tiny stick. The Leader of the THIELONS' Bridge is poorly constructed, and the Battle Stations are weirdly crooked. Their weapons have the power of a sweat bee. Whenever the Leader of the THIELONS appears on main viewer, the Leader always says "Prepare to likely be assimilated. Possibly. Maybe. We are the truth."

The Leader of the PACKULANS is a merchandising parasitical fringe group, constantly going from solar system to solar system taking everything they see in sight. Those they snare into their federation give their life and soul to these vampire-type species. Their leader is a tall, grey, mean alien-looking thing.

The MALMASITES are a very blobbish looking bunch. They are obsessed with legal matters, always quoting contracts and statutes with every encounter. They look and act without feelings, or emotion, and are offended by the slightest misinterpretation of their treaties.

The USS AMES is the oldest ship in the Federation of the Westons. One even wonders how it even runs anymore. It just chugs along, and every time it encounters another vessel, it sends an automated message that says "Warm Federation Greetings".

The Federation of the Westons runs the USS AMES, and is led by the King of the Westons - who has no sense of humor, and always harping on his kingly powers and submission of their servants. Their citizens feel constantly oppressed, but the Federation of the Westons is quite an elite group, always oppressing without concern their millions of citizens.

And then. There are the Herbaborgs.

The HERBABORGS are a large mass of near-clones of a 20th Century earth evangelist. Thousands, Hundreds of thousands - maybe MILLIONS of Herbaborgs are distinguished by huge tempers, flappy jowels, and unusually rancid flatulence. Herbaborgs constantly generate with their InstaHolographic Technology Burlcreme, and are known for their slicked back white hair. Encountering Herbaborgs is a terrifying experience - like being trapped in the middle of a honey-bee hive. They all say in unison, over and over again, LAKEOFFIRE, LAKEOFFIRE, LAKEOFFIRE, while spewing fireballs out of their mouth and shaking their fists.

HERBABORGS cause trouble wherever they go.

Anonymous said...

The Herbaborg obviously travels through space at WARP speed...

Anonymous said...

Through some cosmic misunderstanding, the Pakleds have been confused with the Packulans.


Anonymous said...

The Pakleds were looked down on by the Packulans as being "stupid" and "dumb Pakleds".

In fact, the Packulans made fun of the Pakleds for having such an inferior quality ship. This was detailed in the Packulan's Federation log entry entitled "Behind The Packulans".

But the Packulans never gave the Pakleds common. This rift between the two lasted for two centuries.

(Apologies to non-trekkers who have no idea what we're talking about)

Anonymous said...

What about the WEINEGGI?

You know, those BIG-EARED MERCHANDISERS who always break the law trying to get away with getting as much profit as they can! They always have the FANCIEST starships. The Leader, RONEGGI's wife, LAUREGGI, goes from planet to planet looking for stones and precious jems. They have two children, JEREGGI and AUDREGGI.

Word has it lately that their Federation isn't doing so well these days, since RONEGGI was sent to Deep Space Penitentiary for several years.

The WEINEGGI's always say their great leader is going to come and regain the strength and power of the WEINEGGIs. But it hasn't happened yet. Now, no one listens to them at all, and they just run around the universe being a cosmic nuisance.

RSK said...

Begun the petty calendar wars have.

Anonymous said...


A couple of decades were lost to the Planetary Conflict at MALM-39-3 at Sector 34, when several rogue vessels were trying to convince the Malmasites their constitution was incorrect due to inconsistencies in the Galactic Dates of the Sacred Ceremonies.

Major Butthurt was had when a Rogue Vessel fired a Neutron Torpedo at the Mighty Lectern of Truth, one of the great Monuments at MALM-39-3. The Malmasites never did surrender, and the rogue vessels signed a peace treaty.

And peace was had, for a while, until the USS CONSTANCE broke away from the Malmasites and joined with the Rogue Vessels, forming a new alliance.

Anonymous said...

And in all the years of Banned. This has GOT to be the strangest thread EVER.

Anonymous said...

Meanwhile, the CLING-ONS desperately seek to maintain their ancient, discredited traditions, refusing to acknowledge the relevance or accuracy of DNA evidence that disproves the HERBORG'S doctrine of British-Israelism. However, they are rendered helpless when they discover that no current ACOG leader is a worthy successor to Herbert Armstrong.