Monday, September 11, 2023

Jon Brisby: Wrong Hair Length Will Result In Loss Of Eternal Life!


 

From a Church of God Eternal source:


There's a fine line to walk for those who wish to enter into Armstrong heaven. Jon Brisby of Church of God Eternal (COGE) drew that fine line at hair style. No longer are hair cuts merely an administrative policy, now the wrong haircut will keep you out of the Kingdom of his Armstrongist god. 
 
In Brisby's September 2023 monthly letter to his retarded church "Natural Law and Common Sense
 
Brisby quotes 1 Corinthians 11:14-15 
 
"Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering." 
 
Nevemind that the context of the passage is not actually about hair length, instead its about family structure and responsibilities, and Paul is simply using hair length as a metaphor. Brisby overlooks the context and built a doctrine on the literalizing of a metaphor.

The Borg Queen Brisby told his mentally disabled church: 
 
"...rest assured this concept is important to God, because violation of it without repentance will result in the loss of eternal life."

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! 
 
Yes you will now lose your eternal life over hair style. 
 
What hair style will earn you a place in Armstrongite heaven? The hair style divinely revealed to Herbert W. Armstrong from Jesus himself! 
 
This is a far cry from Church of God Eternal's Fundamentals of Beliefs 
 
#22 which states: "We believe free moral agency involves the right of free choice, without coercion from the ministry or lay members. 
 
Therefore, the basis of baptism and the hand of fellowship must not involve conformity to outward appearance. Each member must be given the right to develop individually and is responsible before God for his own actions. It is not the Church’s responsibility to force members into conformity resulting from fear of disfellowship or ostracism." 
 
But Brisby is his own man, no longer restricted by Raymond Cole's constitution, and no outdated document from the founding father of his church is going to tell him what to do.

29 comments:

Tonto said...

Didnt Jesus have a haircut like Sgt. Lee Ermey from the "Boys in Company C" or "Full Metal Jacket" ??

DennisCDiehl said...

There is no place in nature that gives any indication "that it is a shame for a man to have long hair". Even as metaphor, however that is one, it is a very weak one but typical of Pauline thought where the tendency to overreach for meaning that is not there runs free.

Anonymous said...

Is that Dennis Miller from SNL in the photo?

Salvation man said...

Who can take the most mundane things and threaten damnation... brisby can! Who can make beards, hair and bacon salvational.. Brisby can! Who can convince you to let your self die horribly from easily treatable conditions... Brisby can! Cuz hes the faithful chosen salvation man and makes the whole world look bad.. even comic books and special Olympics too! And don't you dare say you love the jewwwwws.... berisby will pray curses on you!

Anonymous said...

No Bob I don't think so but you should know knowing how much you love movies

Retired Prof said...

Brisby's playing Delilah here. If guys let somebody cut their hair off, they will turn all p-whipped and weak. Destruction will follow.

Kscribe said...

Brisgay is the Forest Gump of the cog industry.

Anonymous said...

Always wondered about that myself, Dennis, as the males of various species tend to be the pretty ones!

Anonymous said...

The ACOGs fundamental beliefs that they present to the outside world is Pharisaic window dressing. The reality in these groups is very different.
The "it's important to God" statement was a favorite of the late James Malm which he used to justify his Pharisaic nit picking. It's used to shrug off the concept of weightier matters of the law. Hence no bushy hair but it's OK for the ministers to lord it over their flock.

Anonymous said...

If you refuse to obey God you lose your eternal life (if you have one) over hair style. For sure. That is what it says. Don't proof-text it and make it mean what you want it to mean.

Anonymous said...

Maybe since HWA had short hair he will get a pass on his molestation of his daughter.

Questeruk said...

He has always had a thing about clothing too. This from a letter six years ago :

'Slacks made specifically for women are not wrong at appropriate occasions, but they should have fasteners either on the side or the back, never in the front like a man's trousers.
For casual wear, denim is no more an inappropriate fabric than any other, but the key is that
the construction of women's slacks—regardless of the fabric—should never have a fastener in front.

So if you are a woman the key point is to not have a fastener at the front. He doesn't quote a scripture for this, but a front fastener is a man only option it would seem.

Germany! said...

What do women's pants have to do with the price of lampshades in Germany? Nuzzing!!
Prepare prepare prepare! The government has been lying, God sped up time decades ago, it's actually 1973!! The government knows this magnetic pole shift has sped up the time space continuim, and in REAL time hitler is still alive! 1975 is still on track friends! Leave these false churches with impostor ministers with fake lineages, and come to the one true COG. We accept all 3 tithes online @
Cogyourearetardforbelievingarmstrong.com

COGflogger said...

didn't he make dyed hair a damnable sin as well? ironically many are sure he does it himself

Anonymous said...

What if a guy is outdoors often in mosquito areas and he finds that a little hair over the ears can repel mosquitos VERY WELL without using a lot of deet chemical? 🦟 I think Jesus will let a bit of hair cover the ears like maybe Geo. Washt. or Andrew Jackson probably did while they helped build the Manasseh nation out of thick forests & 'squitos eh?

did Paul know what swampy Louisiana would be like over here 🦟🦟🦟

also, what if God approved of Mayflower sea vessel personnel remaining a bit on duty (not excessively) during Atlantic Ocean sabbaths travels, to keep the ship on course toward Manasseh-land? ⛵🧭⚓

Anonymous said...

I'm certain he dyes his hair. I know he is about 4 years older than I am, and I've got plenty of gray.

Anonymous said...

This organization, these people, and their leader approach their religion purely from a physical standpoint period. All the talk of holy day keeping, doctrines, etc..., mean nothing if you have not put on character exemplary of Christ. That's a fact, and JB knows it, therefore he does not teach it. He is your enemy, and your stumbling block.

Anonymous said...

Even chess champ/WCG co-worker BOBBY FISCHER got fatigued of over-zealous 1973/1975 "end time" that came and went. He was so TICKED at a church jumping to conclusions, that he bailed out, eh?

Bobby F. may have noticed back then that WCG's end time chess game didn't even take the time to fact check whether ANY super Germanic €uropean leader was DOING ANY manner of the KING OF THE NORTH-type o' stuff yet...no peace deals in 1973, only Yom Kippur Wars and Six Day wars but no abominations in no holy places back then. There was only a loose Common Market, no E.U., not even a €uro coin yet then with woman on a bull like they got now ....no Brexit yet in 1973, no imitation Tower Of Babel/E.U. Parliament Bldg. in Strasbourg yet in 1973.

so Bobby the WCG chess champ felt a bit ripped off when he saw 1973 come and go. Hope it's ok to play The Who song "Won't Get Fooled Again". But this time, the current nat'l. debt along with Saudi petrodollar fading does seem noteworthy 🕋⛽🛢️🛢️💵💷💶💴

Anonymous said...

👖🩳🩲👛👠

Supreme Pitchfork of the Grange World Order said...

Jon Does NOT dye his hair. And if you don't believe this lie is true, ask the faithful yes men, they believe it through and through. (Gullible retards)

ManlyRaider said...

Some of you are so disrespectful to Jesus in the flesh it is atrocious. Jon is Jesus in the flesh, and the light of this dark world. The flesh-light. You must respect the Fleshlight and it's enduring legacy. No matter how much you want to use it, abuse it, and hide it in your prayer closet, it will endure. Embrace it, know it (biblically), and anoint with a little oil from time to time so the GOOD NEWS of this flesh-light kingdom goes forth in a powerful thrust into the darkness of Manassauh, and slips into the world with a climatic explosion of doctrine flowing like showers of gold, and the world may once again know the true revealed servant in HWA and his spiritual seed lineage

Anonymous said...

@ anon 9-13-23 3:35pm. Clearly Columbus discovering America was a sin and we shouldn't even exist. God would NEVER want us to man a sailing ship on the sabbath. The Sabbath is for 2hour drives to church services, multiple sermons, 2 hour drives back home, watching the news and checking emails only! Never ever sailing ships.

Anonymous said...

I see the troller has found the post.

Anonymous said...

Hey I heard of not just 2 hr each way labourious trips to sabbath services but 4 hr or 6 hr ones back in the day. They were told it was ok since it is "for God" or for avoiding the "forsaking of assembling of iourselves". Now a pastor tells me he avoids travel on sabbath, airlines, auto, despite it often is for assembling together, etc.

what if someone on the ISS space station suddenly became a sabbath keeper and couldn't get back for a few weeks🛰️📡

What were Saturdays in Egypt like for Joseph when he was stuck there awhile as Prime Minister of Egypt after his crummy jealous brothers tossed him down the well...did Joseph get to drive 2 hrs on Sat. & did he get time off from Pharaoh each Sat.

why do our COG pastors judge and question us if we have trouble with our boss letting us have time off?

why does Gerald Flurry & Dave Pack get to whack our knuckles with a ruler over it as if they were the nuns at Catholic school

did you ever see brethren who require bottled water and won't drink city tap water, but they will smoke?

I was told to be so "forgiving" and patient toward the "hard addictions" a smoking churchmenber "struggles with". But if they saw me drink tap water, or if I ate a veg. burger instead of a meat burger, then suddenly, "ohh, why aren't you more like us?"

They think I'm woke and liberal if I don't I don't eat meat/meat/meat & embrace the slaughterhouse and butcher industry and professions. Isn't a goal of the Kingdom in far future for to have the lion eating straw like the ox? Didn't Daniel eat veg. & forsake the king's rich meats? Was it just pork like my redneck meat lovin' pals press me to think Daniel was avoiding? I know Jesus ate fish but they say fish only have a 5 sec. memory, maybe similar to lower brain level of bugs or worms

I wonder if cig. smoking by brethren around non-smoking brethren is worse? I sat through mind numbing ramblings of "pillars" in my COG ranting about how we should avoid GMOs, aluminum cooking pots, city tap water, diet cola, but they thought I went overboard when I highly protested having 2nd hand cig. smoke blown onto me by either brethren or by the unconverted smoker mates of brethren. GMOs/tap water/tobacco...hmm-mm...which one is worse...

Anonymous said...

the manlyraider style of writing sure seems similar to Australian shroud-of-turin-clone Brian Leonard Golightly Marshall

CigofGod said...

How do you know that cigarette tobacco wasn't organic?! Judge not. GTA smoked, and spanked his wife. You should too.

Pantry Raider said...

Some of you long haired hippies clearly have white sugar in your pantry, and saucy food in your fridge. Noted. 58 part sermons series headed your way. Death by PowerPoint? Try death by sermon series.

Anonymous said...

It could be worse, David Pack is in the 400s on a series now.

Pettyjon said...

Hey, you. Ya you, the retarded one. I just came here to say... get a hair cut.