Let that sink in!
Over the years, various Facebook exCOG groups have been filled with horror stories from women who were told by their ministers to go back home and submit to their husbands, as "Christ commands", regardless of the abuse they were suffering through. From violent beatings, rapes, and public humiliation, these women were told to bear it as their cross of burden, because God will correct it all in the end. After all, church government is more important!
Sadly, some women did just that an ended up being murdered, having bones broken in their bodies, raped and mentally abused to the point of incapacitation.
How sick could our ministers be?
Thankfully many brave souls did not listen to their ministers and called police on their husbands and had them arrested. Others fled marriages and took their kids and went to other states to start over.
- All licensed healthcare professionals, including but not limited to:
– Physicians– Nurses– Mental Health Professionals– ALL employees in a long‐term health facility– EMTs, paramedics, medical examiners
- Social Workers, Marriage & Family Counselors
- Child care custodians / Elder or dependent adult custodians
- Employee of a protective service or law enforcement agency
- Teachers
- Clergy
- Commercial film & photographic print processors
Safety Plan
Be Prepared to Get Away…
- Keep a spare set of keys, a set of clothes, important papers, prescriptions and some money with someone you trust.
- Keep any evidence of physical abuse (ripped clothes, pictures taken of injuries or destruction of property) or verbal abuse or threats (messages left on the phone or voice mail).
- Plan the safest time to get away.
- Keep your cell phone with you at all times in case violence escalates and you need to get help. If you do not have a cell phone, contact your local domestic violence agency or police department to see if they have a free 911 phone.
- Know where you can go for help. Tell someone you trust what is happening to you so that someone else knows.
- Call the police if you or your children are in immediate danger.
- If you are injured, go to the hospital or doctor and ask them to document your injuries and cause in your file.
- Plan with your children and identify a safe place for them to go or someone to call for help. Teach them how to call 911. Reassure them it is not their job to take care of you, but to stay safe.
- Arrange a signal with a neighbor or friend to notify them of danger (such as turning on a porch light in the daytime) so they can call for help.
- Contact your local domestic violence hotline to find out about area resources to use during a crisis (such as a shelter) or for support. Christian Coalition Against Domestic Abuse
21 comments:
I remember a woman in the church area I grew up in who had an abusive husband. She would come to church and be the submissive wife. You could see bruises on her. He ended up killing her.
Far too many ministers in Armstrongism were abusers themselves. It is shocking that so many were pedophiles, rapists and stalkers. Most were well known to their church leadership and they covered it up. It wasn't until people started taking them to court that we found out. Many of these degenerate men are sitting in prison to this day.
Women used to ask me to protect them from their husbands. In one case the husband of one of my son's teachers had worked their daughter over with a hanger for talking to a boy they had told her not to. Her teacher saw the bruises next day and sent the girl to the nurses office. The nurse had of course reported it, and a social worker from child protective services was assigned to investigate. Upon finding that out, the husband had gone on the rampage threatening his wife and the daughter, smashing a lot of their lamps, nick knacks, and basically whatever he could get his hands on, and cussing a blue streak. The lady was terrified and nobody in her family seemed to be available to help, so she asked me to go with her and her children to the house so she could pick up some clothing and other items they needed so they could make their escape. The house was pretty much trashed when I got there, Pretty scary stuff, but fortunately the husband never showed. I didn't pry, but no further requests the rest of the school year.
Another lady was married to an alcoholic gun nut. I can't even repeat what was happening to her, but believe me when I say that it would curdle your blood. Bad foreplay. I got a frantic call late one night to get her out of there. I pounded on their door, she came out, but the man had the good sense not to come to the door. The woman was extremely traumatized, and afraid to sleep. This had been going on for months and she was afraid to sleep, because the minute she dozed off, she'd have terrifying nightmares. She was going for days without sleep, living on coffee and adrenalin. .
There's more I could share, but this is enough to get the point across. Everybody tells women "call the police", but it is absolutely amazing at how quickly an abuser will turn himself into the victim when confronted by the police, Also, a woman doesn't want to create financial chaos or break up the family, and won't press charges. There are many unique aspects to abuse in cult families, because neither husband nor wife wants to reflect poorly on "the church", let alone kids who do not want to lose their home.
My recommendation to anyone on the dating scene is to do computer checks very early in the relationship. If you can't afford "Been Verified", you can at least get some clues from "My Life", or public court records. Don't give someone a pass just because they're a member of your ACOG, either! I don't know whether the ACOGs subscribe to "covenant" marriages which are damn near impossible to get out of, but can you imagine being stuck in one of those with an abuser???
BB
I cannot prove this as it's only my opinion, but I believe a substantial proportion of Ministerial wives are subject to domestic abuse.
There are always men who abuse their wives or other women, or even children. They are attracted to positions of power.
When I was in WCG many years ago I knew a man who, looking back now, was a real psychopath. He married a sweet young woman. Years later I heard that he had regularly beaten up and abused his wife.
I knew of quite a few cases as well. Although the key element was how often the ministurds knew and tried to cover it up or justify it.
I don't like the oxymoronic inconsistency account of RCM's 1st wife languishing to death through cancer likely foregoing treatment a la COG-dom's resistance to "medical profession...& then to learn RCM definitely opting in to having the medical profession to treat his retina. Did COG-dom have double standards between medical help for top hierarchy, but not so much for the flock?
8:25, was that in WCG? If so, it's very telling.
Is that absolutely rotten husb. still alive? I would be sick to hear any current brethen or deacons full of forgiveness, advising us to lovingly invite this man to our potlucks.
The man should be required to write 800 pages of handwritten essay answering why he did that to his late wife, why he thinks he's any different now, and why we should trust him being near any of our loved ones.
His ministers at the time should also be held accountable for what they knew or should've known.
The account of this man has turned my stomach, I wish he was getting hollered at in Full Metal Jacket by Sgt. Hartmann.
One would have thought that if the ministers' work were soooo important, the ministers and their families would have been blessed by a higher surety of God's healing.
Looks as if they were left to their own devices, a cruel world in which self was allowed to go to the doctor, and wife was left to be the doctrinal test case,
In God's Administration to come he would be put to death - Num 35:16,17,18,21,30,31.
Nck, the thing is, the leadership used their "government from the top down" principle to cover it up. They were not about to undermine this authority within the family context, so they always backed the husband.
It's why the Winehouse case is treated as it is within church circles.
Good advice from Byker Bob. Good and timely article Gary!
Did COG-dom have double standards between medical help for top hierarchy, but not so much for the flock?
you can pretty well rest assured such is the case, as I recall Armstrong was not left alone in his final days/hours all kinds of interventions were attempted to resuscitate the heart etc. .
0nly when they got caught, 7:04! The belief in divine healing was preached as uniform for all.
Also, let's say you had a sick child, and you were following the church's teaching and relying on God for healing. It went the wrong way, and your child died. Your relatives were sickened and appalled by a needless death and got the authorities involved. The church was unwilling to get involved to confirm the teaching because then they would be under the spotlight in a bad way. Members were explicitly told not to "blame" the church, but to tell the authorities that it was their own personal belief. I guess that at some point, Pasadena got tired of their ministers calling from jail, which actually happened from time to time, taking up Messrs Helge and Rader's time.
Oh, and they treated the whole conscientious objector thing the same way. So many of the church members of those days were very weak people who chose the church as their strength following traumas, death of loved ones, or the scariness of the end times (HWA's hook).
the church would give them words, but would basically wuss out in times of trial. I understand that they actually did protect one category of member in certain areas though. Stalkers!
Live in the real world please fake name.
Yes, of course they did. Not all of them but a few did. Herbert Armstrong himself during his 1978 heart attack.
Not so sure by Jan 1986 as Herbert had allegedly become surplus to requirement.
I have personally witnessed Council of Elder “ministers” cover up for attempted (not sure if successful) child rapists in Gerald Weston’s LCG. I am not surprised to hear of other kinds of domestic abuse. They can crow about their presentation numbers all they want. Their morality is that of whitewashed tombs.
12:03 who would you yell at, the rotten husb. or would you yell at the wife
To 12:03, the world isn't even really real if it's Satan's world...if he's the God of this world.
Don't y'all profess to be under a different authority of a different world, than this damn real world.
Glad I can rejoice at never having any inkling to have ever joined up with LCG after all. Not sure why Bob thinks it was such a great place to spend so many years at before jumping ship. How could the mantle have been where such rape abuse & cover up gets presided at. Oh, excuse me, and the mantle also bouncing around sometimes onto Dibar, oh no watch out it's really on Roderick, yikes take heed, it's possibly over at UCG with Mr. Dean, consult the Rubik cube for mantle i.d.
That is a very, very serious accusation, anonymous 9:59 if you personally witnessed that, what did you do about it?
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