Showing posts with label call the waaaahmbulance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label call the waaaahmbulance. Show all posts

Sunday, October 25, 2020

Doubly Blessed COG Prophet Melts Down After Getting Rkt By This Blog

 


It is another fun day in paradise! Woo Hoo! Banned just had another sermon preached about how evil we all are! We are used to this as we have already dealt with Rod Meredith telling his followers to not read this blog, which incidentally caused a huge spike in readership that continues to this day. But now, we have one of the greatest ministers God has ever chosen in the history of the church preach ANOTHER video sermonette about this blog.

The one and only doubly-blessed and perpetually butt-hurt prophet of God, Bob Thiel, whom the world has dreamed about, recently became infuriated with us after we published some comments sent in about his so-called evangelists and church hopping members in Africa.

Imagine if you will that God has set you apart from the rest of humanity and the entirety of Christendom to be the one chosen vessel of the wisdom of God and that it is your duty to inform the wayward Church of God members the exact moment they need to flee to Petra or some other "place of safety". Imagine what it would feel like to have God send dreams to your amazing brain and into the minds of other people around the world to CONFIRM your legitimacy as the one true prophet of God. Imagine what it would feel like to have ministers of the church lay hands upon you and pour out a double blessing on your head that sets you apart from the rest of the ministry in the entire Church of God movement and of the entirety of Christiandom. Imagine if you can, that you are the world's foremost historian on the Mayans, Catholicism, church history, and the ONLY source of true doctrine left on the earth today.

After imagining all of that, wouldn't you be emboldened and feel powerful as a true warrior of God? Imagine how the prophets of old felt when they were boldly speaking out to religious and secular leaders of the day. Do you think they felt perpetually butt-hurt by every bit of criticism that was thrown at them?

After imagining these powerful men (and a few women) standing up with truth to power, imagine what it feels like to be a small-time naturopathic pettifogger trying to run God's most amazing church out of a little storefront on the central coast of California and as one who spends his days, while ignoring his family, searching the internet for things to complain about. Get the picture?

Bob Thiel is the ultimate cockalorum and snollygoster in the Church of God today. After trying so hard to be an obsequious follower of Rod Meredith and then having that rug pulled out from under him Thiel has been on the ultimate quest to make himself look important to the rest of us. Which incidentally, is NOT something that any prophet of God ever did. Fake ones certainly did though. 

Living Church of God members soundly rejected him and refused to follow him when he started his little group. Church members from across the entire COG movement have soundly rejected him. Thiel is a peddler of spiritual junk food.

2 Corinthians 11:12-15 

12-15 And I’m not changing my position on this. I’d die before taking your money. I’m giving nobody grounds for lumping me in with those money-grubbing “preachers,” vaunting themselves as something special. They’re a sorry bunch—pseudo-apostles, lying preachers, crooked workers—posing as Christ’s agents but sham to the core. And no wonder! Satan does it all the time, dressing up as a beautiful angel of light. So it shouldn’t surprise us when his servants masquerade as servants of God. But they’re not getting by with anything. They’ll pay for it in the end. 
 
Deuteronomy 18:20-22  

20 “But any prophet who fakes it, who claims to speak in my name something I haven’t commanded him to say, or speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet must die.”
21-22 You may be wondering among yourselves, “How can we tell the difference, whether it was God who spoke or not?” Here’s how: If what the prophet spoke in God’s name doesn’t happen, then obviously God wasn't behind it; the prophet made it up. Forget about him.

Jeremiah 23:16 

“Don’t listen to the sermons of the prophets.
It’s all hot air. Lies, lies, and more lies.
They make it all up.
Not a word they speak comes from me.
They preach their ‘Everything Will Turn Out Fine’ sermon
to congregations with no taste for God,
Their ‘Nothing Bad Will Ever Happen to You’ sermon
to people who are set in their own ways.

Jeremiah 14:14 

Then God said, “These preachers are liars, and they use my name to cover their lies. I never sent them, I never commanded them, and I don’t talk with them. The sermons they’ve been handing out are sheer illusion, tissues of lies, whistlings in the dark.

2 Timothy 4:3-4 

You’re going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food—catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. They’ll turn their backs on truth and chase mirages. But you—keep your eye on what you’re doing; accept the hard times along with the good; keep the Message alive; do a thorough job as God’s servant.

Jude 1:4  

For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.

Ezekiel 13:6 

God, the Master, pronounces doom on the empty-headed prophets who do their own thing and know nothing of what’s going on! Your prophets, Israel, are like jackals scavenging through the ruins. They haven’t lifted a finger to repair the defenses of the city and have risked nothing to help Israel stand on God’s Day of Judgment. All they do is fantasize comforting illusions and preach lying sermons. They say ‘Godsays . . .’ when God hasn’t so much as breathed in their direction. And yet they stand around thinking that something they said is going to happen.

Jeremiah 23:21

“I never sent these prophets, but they ran anyway. I never spoke to them, but they preached away. If they’d have bothered to sit down and meet with me, they’d have preached my Message to my people. They’d have gotten them back on the right track, gotten them out of their evil ruts.

Deuteronomy 18:21 - 22

You may be wondering among yourselves, “How can we tell the difference, whether it was God who spoke or not?” Here’s how: If what the prophet spoke in God’s name doesn’t happen, then obviously God wasn't behind it; the prophet made it up. Forget about him.

I'd like to leave Bob with one thought...but I'm not sure he'd have anywhere to put it.