Dave Pack: All Eyes on Pentecost. But.

 

All Eyes on Pentecost. But.

For the past few weeks, attention has been focused on David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God, who announced that his 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization had escaped corporate debt by quietly selling $3.1 million in church-owned real estate to members and widows.

Contrary to the Pastor General’s previous assurances, there will be plenty of time to spend his members’ fear-fueled donation money on “whatever we’d do," and the church employees did benefit financially. It is funny how an end-times urgent push for last-minute Common funds blends seamlessly with biblical fraud.

“You dropped your Financial Pressure Chocolate into my Prophetic Failure Peanut Butter.”

Further details of RCG’s covert business dealings were discussed during HID Production’s Part 14 Interview hosted by Dawn Blue on WCTV in Wadsworth.

Just because the reporting of David C. Pack's teaching dates for the arrival of Jesus Christ and the Kingdom of God paused does not mean his date-setting paused. Because Dave’s gotta Dave.

All eyes in The Restored Church of God watching Passover rolled after April 11, 2025, because Dave’s god got caught up at the Giant Eagle doing more shopping than intended, proving you should always grab the big cart.

Prophetic understanding in RCG takes on the shark’s tooth approach. After one fails, dozens are waiting in line to fill the space. Abib 1 on March 29 came into view. Then, it faded when Passover on April 11 came into view. Then, it faded when Abib 24 on April 21, came into view. Then, it faded when Pentecost on June 1 came into view. Then…oops. No spoilers.

During “The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 571)” on April 19, 2025, David C. Pack taught the Kingdom of God would arrive a few days later.

Part 571 – April 19, 2025
@ 1:05:28 So, Moses and Daniel both point to the 24^th of Abib and the Last Days.

@ 1:17:43 What would I tell you, brethren? How could I stand up here and say, “Well, I don’t know. Maybe it’s not the 24th.” If it’s not, you’re never gonna hear me say that.

@ 1:36:41 I guess you could say it could be the 24th next year. …And man, if it’s not the 24th, as I said before, I will never say that.

David C. Pack dons his magical backup parachute in 3…2…1…

@ 1:36:57 Unless the date passes and something extraordinary happens.

Something extraordinary did happen when nothing happened. Per usual. However, this did not deter David C. Pack from claiming a post-failure victory the following week.

Part 572 – April 26, 2025
@ 56:45 I knew before I went to bed last Saturday night, nothing was gonna happen on Tuesday. I knew it.

A few hours after he taught that the Kingdom would arrive on Abib 24 for 113 minutes on the Sabbath while claiming God’s authority and speaking in His name, David C. Pack blissfully rested his head upon his fluffy pillow, knowing nothing was gonna happen while the brethren of The Restored Church of God believed opposite.

@ 56:51 I realized I’d made a mistake. But it was a type of something. It was a hint of something.

David C. Pack
Even my blunders are prophetic.™

However, it was not all bad news, brethren, because Dave’s ineptitude afforded him the opportunity to rediscover some forgotten recyclables in the bottom drawer.

@ 1:03:54 My goal is to electrify God’s people with the awesome, massive proof of when this is. We’ll inch our way in, and we’ll let the Scriptures and the facts show us.

David C. Pack
Wrong last week, but right this week.™

@ 1:04:09 God would never simply say the date. He’d hafto and would tell us in many different ways. And He does. It must be when He’s done. It’s impossible to miss. Impossible.

@ 1:31:29 I absolutely know Passover is That Day, and I absolutely know Pentecost starts it.

@ 1:31:41 But there were certain mile markers, certain metrics that would come to bear into final fruition when it was time to go. The Series would end, and the mysteries that of the surrounding the Kingdom of God would would all be gone. That’s one of them.

@ 1:37:30 Last year, we got one date right and the other two wrong. We come into this Pentecost, we’ve got two dates absolutely locked up.

@ 1:39:51 I will prove this to the point where it’s airtight…

The Kingdom of God arrives on Pentecost.
June 1, 2025. But.

The transition from Abib 24 to Pentecost was as smooth as oil. For David C. Pack, holding on to Pentecost proved to be less graceful. While it might be painful to watch a juggler lose their rhythm, fumble, and crash, it can be entertaining.

During the Sabbath double-feature, “The Greatest Untold Story!” Parts 573 and 574 on May 3, 2025, the Pastor General showed no signs of wavering on Pentecost. Yet.

Part 573 – May 3, 2025
@ 01:11 God would never just say, regarding the arrival of His Kingdom, “It’s Pentecost.” He wouldn’t do that. He almost does a number of times in ways that are impossible to misunderstand, but He would have to tell us in many different ways, so it's impossible to miss.

@ 02:19 But proving it’s Pentecost is falling over backwards without even being pushed. I mean, it’s just that easy.

Was Pentecost 2025 easier to figure out than Pentecost 2019?

Flashback Part 177 – June 6, 2019
@ 1:29:38 Wow, we're just learning this right now. What are the odds we’re learning it right in front of Pentecost because how long would you want people to know this?

Flashback Part 178 – June 8, 2019
@ 32:00 God waited three years and seven months to explain to me He’s gonna come 60 hours before He does.

A crucial life lesson Grammar and Randy Pack could never successfully teach their middle child was that you cannot claim something is easy while you keep getting it wrong.

Part 573 – May 3, 2025
@ 44:43 …nowhere does God say, “It’s Pentecost.” But He duddn’t have to. He says it in so many ways it’s it’s [chuckles] it’s almost silly to say, “You’ve got to tell me it’s Pentecost.”

Channeling the power of presumption, Dave combines inductive reasoning and talking to make it true to concoct a prophetic soup of goofy ideas that prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Kingdom of God arrives on Pentecost.

@ 1:12:31 “Bring the season of refreshing in the midst of the years.” I was never going to get that right until God revealed that years start off Pentecost.

Part 574 – May 3, 2025
@ 53:40 We thought it might come last year, but we weren’t nearly ready. It wuddn’t plain enough. …We had a lot more things to learn.

The brethren of The Restored Church of God comfort themselves with the saying, “Mr. Pack only has to be right once.” But they fail to believe the biblical reality that he will never be right. Nonetheless, all eyes were still on Pentecost 2025.

David C. Pack has been regurgitating familiar phrases since 2013, explaining them with differing interpretations as he revisits the exact same ideas dozens of times.

RCG members muster all their might to refrain from openly rolling their eyes during services when they hear “rushing to call it out,” “midst of the years,” “the days of his voice," and the special crowd pleaser, "a day that cannot tarry.” Let the wincing commence.

Part 574 – May 3, 2025
@ 51:59 Pentecost 2025 is the only date that cannot tarry.

Flashback Part 422 – February 18, 2023
@ 06:52 Adar 1 cannot tarry.

Flashback Part 464 – August 26, 2023
@ 1:25:58 Hebrews 10:37 there speak Paul quoting Habakkuk …speak of a day that cannot tarry. You cannot go beyond a certain date.  …Now, we absolutely know. It’s the Feast of Trumpets.

Flashback Part 470 – September 23, 2023
@ 1:39:55 “He that shall come will arrive and will not tarry.” Guess why He can't tarry. Christ cannot miss the Feast of Tabernacles.

Flashback Part 483 – December 2, 2023
@ 55:49 I said there’s no possible way we can go past Tevet 10. …You can’t go beyond it. It can’t tarry.

Flashback Part 506 – April 9, 2024
@ 34:01 So believe me, believe me, [chuckles] I'm telling you, …you can lock this down as Passover. That's what can't tarry.

Flashback Part 509 – April 20, 2024
@ 15:26 I’ve long wrestled with the kind the kind of delay God would be speaking of when He says, “Though it delay, wait for it. It will it will not tarry.”

@ 55:39 Apparently, He said you do it on Iyar 1. Not Abib 1. Iyar 1.

Flashback Part 550 – December 21, 2024
@ 1:24:40 “Though it delay, wait for it. It’ll surely come and not tarry.” It cannot go past Shevat 1. It’s impossible.

Flashback Part 558 – February 15, 2025
@ 2:00:21 Only Abib truly can’t tarry.

@ 2:03:51 Cannot tarry is its own proof. It has to be the first year of application after learning Abib. Once you learn Abib, it can’t go another year.

Prophetically failing twelve years in a row does not seem to keep David C. Pack from throwing presumption darts at the guessing board, hoping that one day, at least one of them will stick.

Part 574 – May 3, 2025
@ 51:59 Pentecost 2025 is the only date that cannot tarry.

Brethren, it is perfectly appropriate to laugh out loud now.

With David C. Pack’s credibility tank fully maxed out, he concluded Part 574 with more absolutely definitive declarations because Pentecost falls on Sivan 5 this year.

Part 574 – May 3, 2025
@ 1:11:53 That’s one powerful point. If you drive fifth [of Sivan], fifth, fifth, fifth, fifth, and over here you say, Pentecost, Pentecost, Pentecost, Pentecost, all the way through the Bible, and then they line up as the Series is ending, then you're left with you're you you got one of two things is true. It’s a wild coincidence. Or it’s the year it happens. And if it’s the year it happens and doesn’t happen, you’ll never hear me say it’s other than Pentecost.

“Never” arrived at The Restored Church of God in Wadsworth, Ohio, seven days later during “The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 575)” on May 10, 2025.

Part 575 – May 10, 2025
@ 01:02 What if the date is sooner than YOU now think? Everybody’s thinking Pentecost.

Everyone in RCG was thinking Pentecost because Dave told them it was Pentecost for three hours and forty-six minutes. What they did not know was that Dave found a new squeaky toy to gnaw on for a while.

@ 1:19:07 What an amazing time. Iyar 24 is truly a thief event.

The Kingdom of God arrives on Pentecost.
The Kingdom of God arrives on Iyar 24.
May 22, 2025. Oops.

@ 1:27:19 If it [the Kingdom of God] didn’t come on the 24th of Iyar, I’m just gonna give you a personal feeling. I’d hope for Pentecost. But I’d almost believe it’s the 24th of Sivan before I would believe it’s Pentecost or maybe Tammuz 1 or something. But, I would believe the 24^th of Sivan, almost before Pentecost.

@ 1:27:37 And I wouldn’t stop watching till then. So, if you’re wondering what happens if it duddn’t come the24th? Well, then, [chuckles] then then I’d watch till the next 24^th or till it’s impossible that it’s this year.

This is Dave-Speak for Iyar 24 on May 22, being a solid maybe.

@ 1:28:04 But the only day I can see that cannot tarry is half as far away as we thought when we walked into the hall.

Yes. Add Iyar 24 to the day that cannot tarry along with Adar 1, the Feast of Trumpets, the Feast of Tabernacles, Tevet 10, Passover, Iyar 1, Shevat 1, Abib, and Pentecost.

@ 1:28:11 But can I be wrong? Brethren, you’ve watched how hard dates are. Wow, it’s unbelievable. It’s just it’s just really [chuckles] a challenge.

If you survived until May 23, you lived to see David C. Pack fail another challenge. But that did not stop him from trying again the following week, even though he got wishy-washy during Part 576.

Part 576 – May 17, 2025
@ 04:44 We need to clarify the dilemma to the degree that we can that we faced last week between Iyar 24 or Pentecost ten days later. Or potentially, some other date.

@ 15:50 …we’re gonna take some incredible twists and turns today. And I I think I can pretty much put to bed the subject of timing.

RCG brethren must have rejoiced when they heard it was not put to bed last week. Or the week before.

@ 1:24:13 I’m not declaring the New Moon of Sivan to be the day. I’m not declaring the 15th [Sivan] to be the day. But Iyar 24 seems no longer to be in play as a possibility.

Iyar 24 on May 22 was never in play because David C. Pack will never be right about the return of Jesus Christ. Never. God is not guiding him to teach this. The Holy Spirit does not move him to give dates.

Even for the All-Believing Zealots, Part 576 was just 95 minutes of “I’m not sure. But I’ll keep wasting your time” from their human idol.

@ 1:34:19 I’ll keep you posted if I learn any more about timing. But for now, I would tell you we have need of patience. And maybe we're still yet learning more about, "Wow, you have need of patience."

The Kingdom of God arrives on Pentecost.
The Kingdom of God arrives on Iyar 24.
The Kingdom of God arrives at some point.

During “The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 577)” on May 24, 2025, David C. Pack finally lands on the date that really, really, really cannot tarry: the full moon of Sivan 15 on June 11.

Part 577 – May 24, 2025
@ 04:19 But last week, we started looking at the subject of the 15^th [Sivan] or a full moon. …And I wanna confirm today the 15^th.

@ 05:42 So I wanna lay out some really powerful things that emerged once I had a whole week to think about it. And they they are so strong, they leave me completely unable, …and they will leave you completely unable to believe that the Kingdom begins any other date but the 15th [Sivan].

@ 1:01:13 Apparently, God only planned to reveal this extraordinary, mysterious date we’ve battled for almost a decade to find that we’ve now learned only when it was just ahead, and it would surely come with the Kingdom.

The Kingdom of God arrives on Pentecost.
The Kingdom of God arrives on Iyar 24.
The Kingdom of God arrives at some point.
The Kingdom of God arrives on Sivan 15.
June 11, 2025.

Maybe Ed Winkfield should pay attention to Dave’s sermons rather than sleeping with his eyes open.

@ 1:19:10 Anybody beginning to see the day that cannot tarry?

@ 1:43:21 So, there cannot be there cannot be another year. Nobody can believe that.

@ 1:44:52 I’ve not heard an oracle that says it’s absolutely Sivan 15. But I cannot believe otherwise.

@ 1:45:14 And I fully expect, I fully expect Sivan 15.

I fully expect Sivan 15 on June 11, 2025, to be fulfilled as David C. Pack’s Prophetic Failure #129.

In The Restored Church of God, all eyes were on Passover, then on Abib 24, then on Pentecost, then on Iyar 24, and now rest on Sivan 15. That date will be as reliable as all the others. Keep an eye on that.

Marc Cebrian

See: All Eyes on Pentecost. But. 

Is Armstrongism Defined By Its Identity And Authority In A Lineage Of Ministerial Ordinations?

Classic “Armstrongism,” for want of a better term, teaches that the “True Church” is defined in its identity and authority by a lineage of ministerial ordinations (sometimes termed “apostolic succession”). Christ ordained the original apostles, who ordained people, who ordained people, yada-yada-yada, who ordained people, and at least one of those people personally ordained by the laying on of hands Herbert Armstrong. All of these people will have followed “true” Christianity, which means they were seventh-day Sabbatarian. They will not have descended from the supposed Simon Magus counterfeit religion, as Armstrong would elaborate, and at no point will there be a non-Sabbatarian in this lineage. 

This was the explanation given by Andrew Dugger, Jr and CO Dodd in their 1930s book “A History of the True Religion” (originally titled, “A History of the True Church”). Armstrong embraced this concept, and intensified it in the 1950s. See “Must God’s ministers be ordained by the hands of man?” (1960 version). The idea is that to be a “true” Christian minister, one must have been ordained by the literal action of a minister in that succession.

 
This is not my opinion. This is the teaching of your faith tradition. If you found a minister of a small congregation somewhere meeting on Saturdays and perhaps teaching a few doctrines traditionally associated with your faith tradition (Armstrongism), that would not necessarily mean that church is a “true Church of God” (or “branch of the Church,” the terminology preferred by some like the late Roderick Meredith). The minister would had to have been ordained in that discussed lineage. He couldn’t have been, say, ordained as a Presbyterian minister, looked at the Decalogue, and said, “Oh, wait! We should be observing the seventh day, not Sunday!” and then led his congregation to do so. Likewise, lay members of your faith tradition meeting without a minister could not say to you, “Hey, dude! You’re doing the job of a minister. We think God wants you to be a minister,” then all lay hands on you and declare you ordained, and have it be legitimate (in the eyes of your religion). You wouldn’t have ministerial authority, and your “congregation” would simply be a gathering of individual adherents to your faith.

It is this claim of ordinational lineage that gives the ministry of your faith tradition their legitimacy as a binding authority. Thus it is core to the claim of Herbert Armstrong being an “apostle,” “the Elijah,” etc. If that lineage does not in fact exist, then the claim of his authority is false, as is that of the ministry ordinationally descended from him.

Craig White of Australia has done decades of research in “True Church history,” and has sought to demonstrate the alleged linkage going here in North America. Whatever doctrinal commonalities the different Sabbatarian groups may have possessed (and doctrines can be transmitted or developed in the number of ways with no ordinational or organizational succession), he admits failure to find the requisite linkages.

 
From White’s writeup, A Note on the Seventh-Day Baptist Relationship to the Church of God:

Note Point 4: “4. if there is very little linkage between them and there is no evidence of ongoing sequence of laying hands upon subsequent leadership or elders from one era to the next, how does one know it is legitimate?…”

He acknowledges “no evidence” of the ordinational succession, and then asks the resultant question of how to evaluate the “legitima[cy]” of the Armstrongist “True Church” and ministry claim.

And here is the answer: Ezra 2 and Nehemiah 7 include a reference to a number of families claiming Levitical descent at the rebuilding of Jerusalem, but whose names are not listed in a registry of such descendants. This results in them being declared “unclean” and set aside from the functions and privileges of the priesthood (until objective verification could be had). Putting this in jurisprudential terms, this is a “precedent,” an event which sets out how situations like this ought to be handled. The “burden of proof” lies with the people claiming the succession exists. It does not lie with somebody challenging it.

The Armstrongist ministry has long and strongly drawn a direct parallel between itself and the Levitical priesthood. No remotely experienced Armstrongist can deny this with a straight face. That said, I will include a few of my favorite examples to illustrate the depth your religion takes this. The reference to “Levites” in the Deuteronomy 14:28-29 discussion of “third tithe” was used to justify the use of the assistance fund to pay for home renovations of ministers. I even recall a minister at a WCG Feast of Tabernacles saying that it could be used to directly augment ministerial salaries because of this (though he denied it had ever happened). Much of the authority and prestige of the Armstrongist ministry comes from drawing such parallels. A UCG minister after the 1995 event even said that they could call themselves “priests” because of this if they so chose. Another minister, then still in WCG post-1995 but now pastoring for UCG, told me of how at WCG headquarters in Pasadena, since ordained ministry were called “spiritual Levites,” they went full-circle terminology-wise and referred to non-ordained church workers as “PHYSICAL Levites.” Armstrong himself took it so far as to even roll it over into a theory that many of his ministers were descended literally – genetically – from the Levitical line. 

(Here is a comedic story touching on this, involved security at the Ambassador campus. The writer is obviously very discontented with Armstrongism. It seems that security volunteers on the Sabbath were given a technical consideration of being “spiritual Levites” in order to justify their work on the Sabbath. As all good satire is based in truth, it demonstrates just how truly serious the Armstrong faith tradition has taken the supposed Levitical parallel. )

The Levite-“True Church” minister analogies go on and on, and every minister of the Armstrong tradition knows that.

Ergo, following the parallel laid out by the ministry of your faith tradition, it is on them or their supporters to show the lineage exists. And if that cannot be done – and up to now it has not been done – they are to be considered set aside, and their doctrinal and spiritual authority nonbinding.

Despite this, Armstrongist apologists not only seek to avoid the general issue, but actually play dumb on the whole matter. Note the following exchange on LCG’s “Tomorrow’s World” YouTube channel. “TommygunNG” is yours truly.

“HUMAN lineage” (emphasis added). Is that genetic or actional (by ordination)? This purposeful distortion of the issue is shocking in its audacity. Obviously, this being more of an outreach channel, LCG is attempting to hide the reality of their faith from the uninitiated – that is, prospective members. They will think in general terms about a lineage or succession, believing there’s nothing to what I asked, while members can CHOOSE to take it as referring to genetic reproduction in order to deny to themselves the disingenuousness. But in reality, all their muddling does is show the legitimacy of my point, and their own complete lack of a genuine answer. 

To their credit of sorts, at least they were attempting something vaguely substantive. When I asked a comparable question to LCG via Facebook Messenger in 2021, this one specifically regarding who ordained Armstrong himself, their only response was, “Mr. Armstrong explained his ordination in some of his articles, autobiography, etc.” On the other hand, UCG did not reply at all, and COGaWA only replied after a second message noting that they did not reply, with them saying, “Hello! Thank you for your message! We will personally reply to your message as quickly as possible. In the meantime, feel free to check out our website at […]!” Of course, no such “personal reply” ever came.

Even attempting to deny the direct applicability of the scriptural example (and thus losing much of the power and prestige in the ministry gained by the Levitical typology), the precedent sets the parallel in establishing the burden of proof for succession claims. Think about it. If a woman from your past claimed her child was the result of a union between the two of you, you would not simply accept her claim. You would demand affirmative proof that the child was yours. How much more important than the genealogy of a single individual is being sure that the doctrinal authority you believe you are bound to is the correct one? 

Today we have DNA tests to determine physical paternity. But unfortunately, there is no spiritual DNA test that can track ministerial ordinations. People have to rely on verifiable documentation for that. And unfortunately for your religion, the Armstrong faith tradition cannot even determine what elder(s) ordained Armstrong himself, let alone who ordained him/them, etc., back to the original apostles.

Church of God (Seventh Day) history shows that the early ministers of that denomination held ordinations from mainstream non-Sabbatarian protestant churches. CG7’s founders were simply ministers who became involved in the Millerite/Adventist movement and adopted seventh-day Sabbatarianism. Few if any came in as Sabbatarians. The same can be said of most of the lay members. They were not “rebaptized” upon this change in their practice. The whole claim of such a lineage preceding the formation of what became CG7 did not exist until the 1920s. Dugger himself claimed in a 1926 article that his “first insight” on the idea came from an event in 1922:

More here from Richard Nichols’ history (from Friends of the Sabbath)

History simply does not bear the claim out, and in fact points against the claim. Contrary to the impressions given by people like Herman Hoeh, there are no (known) ordinational linkages between them and any sort of Sabbatarian line back to antiquity. A clever and perhaps typical example of an attempt to give this unfounded perception is found in LCG’s booklet on the subject, discussed above in the YouTube screenshots. In a particularly odd case of attention to detail, it attempts to mislead readers into thinking Roswell Cottrell, a Seventh Day Baptist who entered the Millerite/Adventist movement in 1851 and became a leading figure in the movement, was a “long time Sabbatarian minister” at the time of his entrance. The truth is, while his family has a long Sabbatarian history (back to the 1630s) and his father John was a former in SDB minister who entered Adventism the same year, he himself was not apparently ordained until 1854 – that is, already within the Adventist movement, and two years after his father’s death. (Plus, at age 34, he wouldn’t have been a “long-time” anything!) The apparent intent is to imply to the initiated reader that the supposed “True Church” ordinational succession might have entered Adventism through him. Yet without a prior ordination, it obviously could not.

Speculative thought: I have to wonder if the writer actually intended critics to look into the fellow and find his family’s descent from European nonconformist groups often mentioned in “True Church” histories. The problem, though, is that actual attention to detail and a refusal to simply accept their unfounded presumptions defeats the effort. (Good try, though.😁)

And thus, based on the Ezra 2/Nehemiah 7 precedent and the most basic of common sense, your religion’s claim of exclusively being “true Christianity” and that the teachings of your ministry — INCLUDING THAT OF HERBERT ARMSTRONG — ought to be disregarded as authoritative in the sense traditionally held in Armstrongism. This does not mean that you or they are or were wrong about any other given point of biblical doctrine. It’s simply means that you are not bound before God to believe those ministers, and thus are free to study doctrinal questions and arrive at different conclusions. You are not bound to Herbert Armstrong, WCG, or their legacy. 

In a very real sense, I personally do not care what days you rest for worship. I do not care what you believe about the state of the dead. I do not care whether or not you doctrinally allow or prohibit makeup or interracial marriage. I can even sadly tolerate the denial of civic duty among many Armstrongists and Armstrongist fellowships (it is a free country, after all). What I do care about is that people are feeling held to a faith tradition – that is, Armstrongism – which bases its doctrinal authority over adherents on a fundamentally flawed and false premise [fraud, perhaps?]. And thus, I will confront its adherents with the historical reality and the scriptural precedent laid out here. 

I was an Armstrongist (WCG 1988-95; UCG 1995-2000; ICG 2000-01), as you are now. I do know what you believe. I understand your take on John 6:44. I understand how powerful it is believing that you have been given a special opening to knowledge. But I will put this to you: Jeremiah 17:9 - “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it.”

What I present to you is not my opinion or my specific doctrinal conclusions. It is historical fact and scriptural precedent. It is my hope that you will look into this matter and consider it objectively. A deceived man does not know he is deceived. No matter how deeply you intuitively believe something, it can still be wrong. If you look at this objectively, you will understand. 

Contact me on TruthSocial at @LTWalker03 to respond.

Cats, Guns, and National Security

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NOTE: If an Armstrongist minister ever denies the ordinational succession claim and/or its centrality to the defining and operation of their supposed “True Church,” ask him if there is even a serious possibility that his church might possibly recognize as a “true” minister someone claiming to be a minister, but definitely without such succession. If he says that it is at all possible, then the hold on members that the Armstrongist ministry claims is gone. His church will be no better than any other Christian denomination. Anyone will be free to leave their current church and be declared a “minister,” and members will be free to follow him or any other professed minister – or none at all. The Armstrongist minister and his church will have no justification on those grounds for denouncing the new “fellowship.” On the other hand, if he says that here is no chance that the succession-free minister would be so recognized, then he is essentially yielding the point.

Lee Walker

Elder Rev. Dr. Percival Thaddeus Grone Responds to Pagan Pools

 

An Urgent Clarification on the Theology of Chlorination

While I commend Brother Gregory F. Attbaum for his bold exposé on the pagan underpinnings of backyard pools, and give thanks that the trumpet has at last begun to sound regarding the dangers of backyard immersion basins, I fear his analysis, though well-intentioned, is perilously shallow. The spiritual implications of recreational water containment go far deeper than he suggests. It is not merely the pagan root of the swimming pool that imperils the soul—but its place in the final sequence of abominations preceding the great and dreadful Day of the Lord. Swimming pools may, I regret to report, play a direct role in ushering in the Beast System foretold in Revelation.

Chlorination and the Sixth Vial

Attbaum rightly notes the pagan roots of public bathing. But he fails to account for the chemical component – specifically, chlorine. This “cleanser” is marketed as a purifier, but as any faithful chemist will confirm, chlorine was first weaponized during World War I. That modern Christians voluntarily immerse themselves in a diluted form of trench gas is nothing short of spiritual Stockholm Syndrome. Chlorinated water, I argue, is a counterfeit baptism—ritually cleansing the body while calcifying the soul.

We have long warned that the pouring out of the sixth vial in Revelation 16 coincides with the drying of the Euphrates—yet few dare to ask: what fills our pools, if not waters drawn from rivers now spiritually desiccated? I submit that chlorine, that acrid deceiver, is the antithetical anointing of the modern Babylonian system. It cleanses not the heart, but masks the stench of moral decay. As in Daniel’s day, the wise shall understand – others shall simply cannonball.

Diving Boards and the Spirit of Rebellion

Let’s now turn to the diving board. What is this spring-loaded plank, if not a launchpad for prideful ascension? In Isaiah 14:13, Lucifer declares, “I will ascend into the heavens.” And so too does the adolescent diver, arching through the air in an act of defiance. The afore-mentioned cannonball is chaos, and the belly flop – though painful – is no less symbolic of man’s fall from grace. What is the backflip, if not a visual metaphor for spiritual backsliding? What is the synchronized dive, if not the ecumenical compromise of the Laodicean age?

Inflatables and the Rise of the Ten-Horned Flamingo

We mustn’t overlook the insidious theology of flotation devices. Is it a coincidence that the unicorn float – a beast of fable – has risen in popularity during this morally compromised age?  Each inflatable is a blasphemous totem, bobbing mockingly and drawing children toward apostasy with their satanic squeakiness.

Consider the flamingo float, pink and grinning, its neck raised in mockery of the humble dove. Only last Tuesday my wife Fabiola had a dream about a great ten-horned flamingo, of which all who hear have attested that it was certainly a vision. In this dream, Fabiola beheld the great flamingo, pink as the sins of Sodom, seated upon many waters. Upon its back rode children, laughing, unmindful of the time. From its ten beaks issued a maddening cacaphony of the phrase “Marco... Polo,” which I have since discerned is an encoded reference to the Mystery of Lawlessness, derived numerologically from the Book of Numbers and The Farmer’s Almanac (1891 edition). Much more can, and will, be discussed about Fabiola’s Flamingo Vision, in the days ahead.

The Deep End: A Gateway to the Abyss?

Here I must speak plainly: the deep end of the pool may, in some cases, serve as a literal portal to the abyss. I have received several troubling electronic mails from concerned saints who report inexplicable cold spots, bottomless shadows, and in one case, a sudden and unexplained craving for shrimp cocktail—clearly a Levitical red flag. I am currently conducting a full spiritual sonar scan of my neighbor’s in-ground pool using a consecrated ladle and an infrared King James Bible.

Prescriptions for the Remnant

•     It is no longer enough to fill the swimming pool with dirt. Dirt can be seduced. Should any faithful reader still possess such a fixture, I urge immediate redemptive action:

•     Drain the pool entirely at sunset on the fifth day, during a waning gibbous.

•     Line the former pool basin with goats’ hair and ash.

•     Fill it with dry hay and a single uncut sheaf of barley.

•     Surround the perimeter with stones engraved with Habakkuk 2:14.

•     Cover it with oilcloth until the third trumpet sounds (or the 1290th day, whichever comes first).

•     Seal the area with a concrete slab inscribed with Psalm 69:15: “Let not the floodwater overflow me, neither let the deep swallow me up.”

Over time, this site may be converted into a small, controlled fire pit, assuming the proper blessings are performed and no one brings marshmallows.

Closing Exhortation

Attaboy Attbaum, you have opened the conversation. Now we must complete it. As Christians, we cannot afford to tread water on this issue. We must drain the swamp, the spa, and the above-ground baptismal mimicries that litter our suburbs. Only then can we reclaim our backyards from Baal.

I entreat all saints, sober and watchful, to gird themselves with sackcloth and mosquito netting. The time for splashing is ended. The time of threshing is at hand. Forsake the pool. Flee the deck chair. And remember: “Blessed is he that waiteth, and cometh to the thousand three hundred and five and thirty days” (Daniel 12:12)—preferably dry. Let the Sabbath-keeping remnant and true followers not be found floating when Yah Sohach-El returns.

Yours in prophetic anticipation,

Elder Rev. Dr. Percival Thaddeus Grone 

Senior Lecturer in Applied Eschatology, The Institute for Scriptural Hydraulics

Still Watching Since 1844

AiCOG: Comparing Cults: Armstrongism vs. Sacred Name Movement - A Match Made in Legalistic Heaven?

 

Comparing Cults: Armstrongism vs. Sacred Name Movement - 

A Match Made in Legalistic Heaven?

For those who have ever dabbled in the tangled web of religious offshoots, Armstrongism and the Sacred Name Movement (SNM) seem like long-lost inbred cousins at a dysfunctional family reunion. Both claim to have the "real" truth, both pride themselves on being separate from "apostate Christianity," and both have enough legalistic baggage to make the Pharisees look like free spirits. And, amusingly, the Yahweh Restoration Ministries (YRM) has taken it upon themselves to poach disillusioned Armstrongites, luring them in with an even stricter brand of Old Testament observance. If you thought you had left legalism behind when exiting Armstrongism, surprise! The SNM is here to tighten the screws just a little bit more.

A Common Heritage of Heresy

Armstrongism and the Sacred Name Movement both find their roots in early 20th-century religious upheavals that sought to "restore" something that supposedly got lost in the first century. Herbert W. Armstrong built his Worldwide Church of God empire on the premise that Christianity had been hijacked by paganism, and he alone (or so he claimed) had rediscovered the truth. The SNM, in its various fragmented forms, came to a similar conclusion: Christianity had been corrupted, and the true faith could only be reclaimed by using "correct" Hebrew names for God and Jesus, along with strict Torah observance.

In reality, both movements are just recycled legalism repackaged for modern audiences. They start with the premise that mainstream Christianity is hopelessly lost, proceed to redefine basic doctrines, and then impose rigid rules to create an illusion of spiritual superiority.

The "Sacred" Name Game

If Armstrongites thought they had it bad with their obsession over clean and unclean meats, holy days, and tithing structures, the Sacred Name Movement takes nitpicking to Olympic levels. Armstrongism at least allows you to call God "God" and Jesus "Jesus" without fear of eternal condemnation. The SNM, however, will have none of that filthy Greco-Roman contamination. According to them, if you’re not using "Yahweh" and "Yahshua," you might as well be praying to Zeus.

Of course, this raises some humorous dilemmas. What if you slightly mispronounce "Yahshua"? Does He ignore your prayers? Are Hebrew speakers at a theological advantage because they naturally pronounce it correctly? And what about the various factions within the SNM that argue over the "correct" transliteration? Is it Yahshua, Yeshua, Yahoshua, or something else? Much like Armstrongism, the SNM can’t even agree with itself.

Legalism 2.0: More Rules, More Righteousness

Armstrongism has always been notorious for its burdensome rules, from triple tithes to exhaustive festival observances. But for those who miss the suffocating embrace of legalism after leaving Armstrongism, the SNM is happy to oblige. Keeping the Sabbath? That’s just the beginning! Now you must also say every divine name with absolute linguistic precision, avoid anything remotely pagan (which, according to them, includes everything from birthday celebrations to church buildings), and observe Torah laws with fanatical devotion.

This relentless rule-keeping isn't about holiness; it’s about control. Just like Armstrongism instilled fear in its followers by making them believe their salvation was always at risk, the SNM ups the ante by making even pronunciation a matter of life and death. Their faith isn't built on the grace of God but on a never-ending game of "gotcha" theology.

A Christology Crisis: Who Needs the Gospel?

Perhaps the most damning similarity between Armstrongism and the SNM is their utter de-emphasis of the gospel of Jesus Christ. In Armstrongism, Jesus is often treated as little more than a glorified afterthought. Salvation, as per Herbert W. Armstrong, is a process of law-keeping and eventually becoming part of God’s "family government." Grace? That’s just an inconvenient theological detail that gets in the way of rule enforcement.

The SNM follows a disturbingly similar pattern. By the time they finish emphasizing "correct names" and Torah observance, Jesus (or rather, Yahshua) becomes little more than a mascot for their movement. His atoning sacrifice takes a backseat to the all-important task of eliminating pagan influences and making sure you get your Hebrew phonetics just right.

The Great Armstrongite Exodus—Into More Bondage

With all these striking similarities, it’s no wonder Yahweh Restoration Ministries has such an easy time converting former Armstrongites. Both groups thrive on the appeal of being the "one true church" (or "assembly" in SNM lingo). Both reject Christian orthodoxy as hopelessly corrupt. Both impose a rigid set of laws that keep their followers in line through fear and self-righteousness.

The tragic irony is that those who leave Armstrongism often do so seeking freedom from its burdensome legalism, only to find themselves shackled by an even more extreme version in the SNM. Trading one cultic system for another is hardly a step forward.

Conclusion: The True Gospel vs. Legalistic Nonsense

At the end of the day, both Armstrongism and the Sacred Name Movement represent distortions of Christianity that elevate human effort over divine grace. They are rooted in the same flawed premise—that Christianity was corrupted beyond recognition and needed to be "restored" by self-appointed prophets and teachers who, conveniently, have all the answers.

Yet, true Christianity isn’t about secret knowledge, legalistic rule-keeping, or linguistic gymnastics. It’s about faith in Jesus Christ (yes, you can call Him that!) and His finished work on the cross. If salvation depended on knowing the exact pronunciation of God’s name or keeping an arbitrary list of rules, then the gospel would be nothing more than an elitist club for those with the right lexicon and enough willpower.

Thankfully, the real gospel is much simpler: Jesus Christ came to save sinners, not Hebrew scholars. If you’re tired of the spiritual treadmill of legalism, there’s good news—you don’t have to keep running. Jesus has already done the work.

And that’s a truth no amount of rebranding can change.

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Comparing Cults: Armstrongism vs. Sacred Name Movement © 2025 by Ai-COG is licensed under CC BY-ND 4.0 

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