LCG's Number One Chiropractor On The Tribulation

LCG Apologist extraordinaire, Chiropractor Bob is treading the same dangerous and silly waters his Master Spanky is treading.  Meredith has been making idiotic end time prophecies for decades.  Every single one of them has failed.  Chiropractor Bob's dates will be a failure too.

Barack Obama has a very difficult job, but probably will appear on the surface to be handling it, as the end (meaning the beginning of the Great Tribulation) is not likely to start before 2013 (as it cannot possibly start before 2012, per Daniel 9:27).

Embarrassed yet?

LCG Prophet Thomas Has The Perfect Remedy To Save Your Behind

LCG's latest prophet (since the abysmal failure of false prophet Spanky MerryDeath) has the perfect remedy on saving your life in the tribulation.

This is the one and only opportunity for the majority of Church of God members
to be selected to go to Jerusalem as a human Saint... Most of us (Not virgin)
have children, we had bowed or saluted a picture or a statue... and all of us
have not been true to God's Law... BUT: - adopting or purchasing a 12 year old
after the earthquake and First Wave Resurrection and teaching that child skills
and God's Law... We might then qualify as the owner to become the SEALED child's
servant.

And then once you have saved your self you get to do something really fun. You get to execute and cremate rebellious sinners!

It is difficult to understand why COG ministers are still looking for Two
Witnessws to appear today or soon... Or: how a minister might call himself,
herself or anyone living today - one of them...??? They do not do anything until
after Satan is released from the 1,000 year grave.

AND THE SEVENTH TRUMPET WARNING DOES NOT COME TO PASS UNTIL AFTER THE TWO
WITNESSES ARE RESURRECTED AND THE MILLENNIUM SAINTS ARE ALSO RESURRECTED... And
THAT number will be in the billions: being at least one sixth of the entire
millennium population...

200 Million Saint Gods will be taught how to control the new God Powers and
trained for an orderly return to the earth - first to execute and cremate about
2 billion criminals and then to heal and feed the about 2 billion survivours...
Giving each Saint God about 12 disciples each to nurture and teach the Kingdom
of God Gospel to; in this Jubilee Year...
Thomas:

Armstrongism is such a peaceful, grace filled religion..................................................

A New COG

Somone sent this to me the other day.  I have no idea where it is from.