Idiots in the Pulpit: Jesus and Mary Magdalene of Australia

Dennis On: Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me......

(This is not Dennis...in case you are wondering)

Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me......

I don't think there can be a more straightforward question one can ask than  "Why didn't someone tell me...?"   

I have said in the past that I did not grow up in the WCG.  I grew up Presbyterian and came into WCG first by an interest in the literature and teachings at the tender age of 14 and then at Ambassador College, which, to my ignorant and naive youthful understanding, was a legitimate seminary and expert on all things Biblical. 

 The literature made sense to me. It touched on topics my Presbyterian minister never covered yet were in plain view in the Old and New Testament.  He had gone to Westminister Theological Seminary, which I thought was probably just another seminary like Ambassador College.  I told you I was naive.  The AC catalogue looked good and the faculty had "Dr" next to their names.   

Of course, I ended up asking myself..."why didn't someone tell me?"

At that time, no one had ever told me about such things as the Kingdom of God, Jesus return, the Resurrections, healing, the Millennium, The Book of Revelation, Repentance, water baptism and the meaning of the Holy Spirit.  No one ever told me about the pagan origins of Christmas and Easter or that there were other days and celebrations in the Bible.  I knew nothing of the teachings in the NT but had grown up memorizing vast swaths of the OT and the Psalms.  I probably new the Bible better by the time I started AC than most knew leaving it.  Calvinist Dutch Churches are like that with their kids.

And so I swallowed WCG, hook, line and sinker.  I turned down going to Roberts Wesleyan College and Seminary in Rochester, NY, where I had been accepted to go to Ambassador College.  Seemed the better choice to me for what i envisioned my goals to be and "calling."  I sneaked my application in my winter parka past my parents and eventually got a call from the minister in Buffalo who came by to see me.  Nice guy who seemed to know his stuff.  I was hooked and going to AC no matter what anyone said.  I deliberately ate my last ham sandwich on the plane in celebration of never eating another!

 Since then I have kidded my parents who were eventually to also come into WCG along with dozens of other family members, that they should have slapped me and told me what they really thought.  Dad was of the mind that one should make their own choices in life and so I went to California.  He later became an elder and now is sitting right back in the same Presbyterian pew he sat in with me next to him where my feet had yet to be able to touch the floor.  Quite a trip. 

I went to be a minister.  I had no doubts about what I wanted to do, teach and be.  The first forum as a student, GTA made it clear one did not come to AC to be a minister and that was the quickest way to get booted.  Hmmmmm,  I remember thinking,  "well, screw you.  I'll study and learn it so well you won't have any choice."  That's kinda how it worked out.  Ted didn't like me much from what I can tell due to a run in we had when I was a mere freshman.  However, he was in trouble with the Church around my graduation time and had nothing to do with my being placed into the ministry.  I am pretty sure he would have hacked me then.  Hmmm....what would have been had that happened instead of what did happen?  Oh well!

When in college, I was the only person I knew who hiked over to Fuller Theological Seminary, not far from the College to use their library.  No one told me this was a no no.  It was there I found better books and first wondered why no one had ever told me this stuff.

The first revelation I had was that the Gospels were hardly coherent or harmonious even though I was then enrolled in a Harmony of the Gospels class taught by Roderick Meredith.  No one ever told me he didn't know what he was talking about, never read a book about the problems with the Gospels and was a mere Bible reader and commentator and not a real teacher. 

It was at Fuller I had my first inkling that the birth narratives of Jesus were not in agreement, added at a later date to fight the charge of fornication and Jesus being a bastard.  It was the first time I ever asked myself "where do all babies really come from?"   Why didn't anyone ever tell me about mythologies the politics of the Bible?

In fact.....in time I learned to wonder why no one ever told me that:

Genesis is not a science story of how things came to be, "The Genesis Flood" text not withstanding.   The first three chapters are meant to dethrone the goddess and her serpent counselor and switch from matriarchy to patriarchy, priests, temples and meat sacrifices.  (that was the WHOLE point of the Cain and Able sacrifices but that's another story).  The fault of everything is women who will now just have babies painfully and say "yes sir" to men.  

No Moses ever wrote the Pentateuch and that it was really written by multiple priests and scribes probably during the Babylonian captivity.

No Exodus as described ever really happened in space and time

Israel did not conquer Canaan.  They just oozed into it over time. 

"I am that I am" is not a great theological pronouncement but rather a pun with the god meaning,  "It is none of your business who I am."   Nuther long story.

The story of David and Goliath is terribly confused and contradictory as written in Samuel.  That's because it was written by two authors who didn't carefully consider what each other said before writing their version.  Nice, "King was an amazing child " story however.   A common tactic in tale weaving. 

Most OT prophecies aren't prophecies at all in their original context and that most of the major prophecies in Isaiah, Jeremiah and Ezekiel NEVER came true.

That the four faced beast in Ezekiel with the face of a man, a bull, a lion and an eagle is another way of saying  Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall in astro-theological tale weaving.

And, why didn't anyone tell me of the New Testament..

The Gospels were originally not written by any of the names who are affixed. 

The Gospels are not eyewitness accounts of anything.

The fact that the Resurrection accounts of Jesus are very contradictory and contrived.

The Jesus story is an old archetype and the dying/rising godman story a very common theme . 

That Matthew was an expert in making the OT mean what it never really meant.

The second ending of John's Gospel may well be the missing ending of Mark's used to bring Peter back into the fold against John's will.  

That if Paul was a Pharisee, he was like none before him in his reasonings, loyalties and tactics.

That Jesus for Paul was hallucinatory and Paul NEVER knew the Gospel Jesus, much less what he taught.  

That Paul never quoted any real Jesus when it would serve him well to do so. 

That Paul never met or knew Gospel Jesus

That Paul had lived, written and died before any gospels were ever written.

That being all things to all men may not be a good trait and leave you wondering just what did the man believe and why?

That Paul may have been the "false Apostle" railed against by the Jesus of Revelation in the Ephesian letter.  

That the Book of Revelation is not about today.

The main players in the New Testament Church really didn't like each other very much nor did they all "speak the same thing."   I had to find out myself that Paul , Luke and John wrote to say that Peter as denier of Jesus was no more worth following than Judas who betrayed him.  I learned that Paul had nothing but contempt for Peter, James and John,  "reputed pillars" and "I learned nothing from them."  Whew....why didn't someone point that out to me at AC?   Actually, the thought would never have crossed their minds.

The fact that John always spoke badly of Peter and sandwiched comments about him between two comments about Judas to show he also felt Peter was Apostle Poop.  It is called Intercalation and was how you made an obvious point in a somewhat subtle way.  

James wrote about faith without works to counter the ridiculous faith without works book of Romans, written by Paul.  

That the story of Jesus is the same story as Osiris, Mithras, Dionysius and others. 

That there is an astro-theological spin to the literalized story Jesus

That outside of the Bible itself, there is precious little reference to any Jesus of the Gospels that is not second hand hearsay and not quite what one would expect about a man who was so well known.  Seems the writers of the day never heard of him and some lived right there in town with him.  We have caught someone adding some Jesus history to Josephus, but know it was added at a later date to give Jesus some secular credentials.  However, they really don't exist.  Makes me nervous.

That it is not very wise to read the Bible like a newspaper.

And so on.   

Why it has taken decades to clear the air on these issues is beyond me.  I wish someone had told me sooner.  I guess I would not have believed them back then anyway and would have had a hundred reasons why they would be wrong , of the devil, uncalled, unholy and uninformed.  

So I guess it really is an individual journey with all it's personal twists and turns custom made for each person as needed to finally graduate in some way from Earth School for some reason I have yet to understand.  

All I know is I had to be there....so I could be here now. 

Dennis C. Diehl

DenniscDiehl@aol.com

UCG Antion: JW's Are Good for UCG Members To Emulate

Gary Antion, one of UCG's resident guru's has told the UCG membership that the Jehovah's Witnesses are worth emulating because of their desire to 'witness' to those around them.  The JW's have no problem spending countless hours a week in knocking on door to get their message across.  Is this something that UCG members are prepared to do?  Don't count on it!  The proven track record of Armstrongism is to talk about "a strong hand from someplace".  Armstrongism has always been embarrassed about it's god.  The JW's are not.

Every inhabited household of this country is a sign to a Jehovah's witness to visit two times a year and in fact they log on an average of 20 to 70 hours per month in witnessing.  They have spread their Watchtower magazine to 13 million people in a 103 different languages.  There are 7 million Jehovah's witnesses worldwide at least, those who claim to be adherents.  They take their name from Isaiah:43:10 where God says:

Isaiah:43:10 “You are to be My witnesses, says the Eternal God,” which is translated Jehovah by them or YHVH.  You are to be My witnesses.

Did you know you are supposed to be a witness too?  Not a Jehovah's witness necessarily, but you and I are called to be witnesses.

You have to wonder what is at the root of Antion's praise of the JW's.  Could it be something a little deeper? Could it be that the JW's have held true to the control over the membership that UCG and the rest of the COG's have lost control over?  JW's hold the exact same standards of ruling peoples lives as UCG used to be able to do.

Here is a list of eight things the JW's expect of their members.  Substitute UCG for the Watchtower name, or for that matter, any COG splinter cult name in it's place and you will have the same belief manifesto that Armstrongism has always employed!

How dare you low life members dare to think for yourself! Interpret the Bible on your won?  Not on your life.  All correct biblical instruction can only come down from the leadership of the UCG (or PCG, LCG, Packism, Flurryism, etc.)

1. The Bible can only be understood via the Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) organization.
   1. Quote: "Only this organization functions for Jehovah's purpose and to his praise. To it alone God's Sacred Word, the Bible, is not a sealed book," (Watchtower, July 1, 1973, p. 402).
   2. Comment: This is an amazing quote. Only the Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) organization can properly interpret the Bible. It is saying that the Lord Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, cannot give a Christian a proper understanding of the Bible even though it is Jesus who opens the mind to understand Scripture (Luke 24:45). This effectively prevents the Jehovah's Witness (UCG, PCG, LCG, members) from thinking and interpreting the Bible for himself apart from the Watchtower organization's guidance.
2. Individuals are not able to rightly interpret the Bible apart from the Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) organization.
   1. Quote: "Thus the Bible is an organizational book and belongs to the Christian congregation as an organization, not to individuals, regardless of how sincerely they may believe that they can interpret the Bible," (Watchtower, Oct. 1, 1967, p. 587).
   2. Comment: The Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) restricts its followers from looking at the Bible by itself without the guidance of the organization's input. This is not freedom to think for oneself and it is a sure way to keep the Jehovah's Witnesses (UCG, PCG, LCG, members) intellectually in line with Watchtower teachings.
   3. Also, contrast the quote above with the following quote from the Watchtower: "The Vatican belittles Bible study by claiming it is the only organization authorized and qualified to interpret the Bible," (Watchtower, July 1, 1943, p. 201). The funny thing is that that is exactly what the Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) does. It claims to be the only source of true spiritual knowledge.
3. If you don't understand something, meekly wait for the Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) to tell you what the truth is, otherwise you are foolish.
   1. Quote: "We should eat and digest and assimilate what is set before us, without shying away from parts of the food because it may not suit the fancy of our mental taste...We should meekly go along with the Lord's theocratic organization and wait for further clarification, rather than balk at the first mention of a thought unpalatable to us and proceed to quibble and mouth our criticisms and opinions as though they were worth more than the slave's provision of spiritual food. Theocratic ones will appreciate the Lord's visible organization and not be so foolish as to put against Jehovah's channel their own human reasoning and sentiment and personal feelings," (Watchtower, Feb. 1, 1952, p. 79-80).
   2. Comment: Here, the Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) tells us that submission is to God's "theocratic organization", the Watchtower organization, and that submission must be complete and meek. Undoubtedly, this is clearly teaching that independent thought is not welcome in the Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) Organization.
4. The Watchtower (Tomorrow's World, Plain Truth, Good News) magazine is the means of God's communication
   1. the magazine called The Watchtower (Tomorrow's World, Good News, Plain Truth) is used for that purpose," (1939 Yearbook of Jehovah's Witnesses, p. 85).
   2. Comment: This says that the Jehovah's Witness (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) organization is the means God uses to communicate on earth today. But, the Bible says that God speaks to us through His Son: Heb. 1:1-2 says it is Jesus: "God, after He spoke long ago to the fathers in the prophets in many portions and in many ways, ²in these last days has spoken to us in His Son, whom He appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the world."
5. Cannot understand the Bible outside of the Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) organization
   1. Quote: "We all need help to understand the Bible, and we cannot find the Scriptural guidance we need outside the 'faithful and discreet slave' organization," (Watchtower, Feb. 15, 1981).
   2. Comment: The Jehovah's Witness (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) organization has set itself up as the sole means of understanding the Bible. In contrast to this, Jesus opens the mind to understand the scriptures (Luke 24:45). It isn't the Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) organization that does this, but God. Admittedly, we have denominational differences. But the differences are not in the essentials and we certainly are able to understand those essentials apart from the Watchtower.
   3. See CARM's article on the "Faithful and Discreet Slave," for clarification on this issue.
6. Those who think apart from the Watchtower's (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) guidance are like Satan
   1. Quote: "From time to time, there have arisen from among the ranks of Jehovah's people those, who, like the original Satan, have adopted an independent, faultfinding attitude...They say that it is sufficient to read the Bible exclusively, either alone or in small groups at home. But, strangely, through such 'Bible reading,' they have reverted right back to the apostate doctrines that commentaries by Christendom's clergy were teaching 100 years ago..." (Watchtower, Aug. 15, 1981).
   2. Comment: So, if you think independently, find fault with something the Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) says, then you are like Satan. Is this freedom of thought? Is this how Christ works in the church? Hardly.
   3. Also, what are the apostate doctrines spoken of in the above quote? Of course, that would be the Trinity, the deity of Christ and the Holy Spirit, the physical resurrection of Christ, etc., all things the Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) organization denies. So, if you read the Bible by itself, reading it for what it says, without the Watchtower guiding you, you will adopt these doctrines -- which the Watchtower says are not true!
7. If you love God, then you accept the Watchtower(UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) .
   1. Quote: "We cannot claim to love God, yet deny his word and channel of communication," (Watchtower, Oct. 1, 1967, p. 591).
   2. Comment: In other words, if you love God then you will be "in" the Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) organization. If you reject the organization, then you reject God. Amazing! So, the Jehovah's Witness (UCG, PCG, LCG, member..) is urged to not leave the organization lest they end up rejecting God. Is this encouraging freedom on thought? No.
8. The truth of God can be known only through the Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) organization.
   1. Quote: "All who want to understand the Bible should appreciate that the "greatly diversified wisdom of God" can become known only through Jehovah's channel of communication, the faithful and discreet slave," (Watchtower, Oct. 1, 1994, p. 8).
   2. Comment: Here, the Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) states that the only way to understand God's word is through the Watchtower (UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) organization. In other words, your thinking must be in submission to the teaching of the Watchtower(UCG, PCG, LCG, etc.) .  Does the Watchtower organization control the Jehovah's Witnesses' thinking?