"This Will Be Like
Nothing I Have Ever Quite Taught This Way Before...."
The Bewildered Apostle
asks:
" Why do no
other leaders understand ANY of the awesome and incredibly detailed prophecy
that I am about to present—the what, when, where and how this reunification
will occur?"
Because you're making it up?
Because they have a strong feeling it is just cleverly hidden
proof-texting
that always comes back and points to Dave Pack?
Because you are not a likeable person in real life?
Because they have read the experiences of others
and their shelf
life with you seems limited?
Because the few who left one COG to align themselves with your
COG
seem to disappear into the void after they confess you?
Because you are arrogant in your presentation and demeanor?
Because you use the word "awesome" to often?
Because you have said three of them will die all on the same day
and that will prove you to be awesome?
Because working with and for you may increase
their Rolaids budget
too much?
Because working with and for you may get between them
and their
meager savings?
Because saying "yes sir, whatever you say sir,"
makes
them feel like shit not actually agreeing with you?
Because when their wives say,
"You gonna let that guy tell
you everything to do, think and believe?"
and it will make them feel
emasculated and weak?
Because they think you just make it up as you go?
...oh sorry,
already said that.
Because like your incredibly detailed sermon on
"And Yes
Brethren, I am an Apostle"
will make their asses sore listening 4 hours to
the incredible details
and not actually see how those incredible details are
connected in reality?
Because you love the kind of member and minister that says,
"whatever you say" and they don't?
Because you are one of the most arrogant human beings ever
not
actually called to be "the leader" they have ever read or met?
Because you have left a trail of tears and drama behind every
place
you have ever been or landed?
Because it really is all about the numbers?
Because they know they would have to
check their own brains at
your door?
Because they have already learned that fair speeches
with
conviction and pizzaz do not truth make?
More Apostolic Opinage:
"So obviously, for God’s people to be together, ALL organizations
but ONE must “go away,” meaning everyone must leave them to enter that ONE
organization—the ONE Church that Christ built. Continue thinking at the most
basic level. EVERY splinter leader would support this, but of course only if HE
led that one organization."
Because when you say, "think at the most basic level,"
as you do,
they know you mean,
"Come on simpletons not as wise as me, this
is not rocket science."?
Because they are pretty sure you are the one who will
come out on
top as the leader and that is a no-show?
Because when you say "every splinter leader would support
this
...if HE lead that one organization,"
really means,
"They won't
come to ME as the leader of Christ's one true church."?
Because, as far as they and I remember,
you never could work for
anyone very long in your life
before it all blew up and it seems you
aren't happy,
or ever have been unless you run everything
and get the
credit for the awesomeness of it all?
The Awesome Apostle
thrills with:
"Next Friday I will start bringing
the scriptural details of the prophecy revealing that all of God’s people will soon be back together. In time this
will include exactly HOW and WHEN this will occur. The first elements of this
“explaining” process will take three or four Friday announcements."
Perhaps they fear "the scriptural details of THE PROPHECY,
will be a mish-mash of long winded explanations, analogies,
types and bullshit
badly woven together into a out of date garment?
Perhaps they understand you have mastered the art of making
non-prophecy
mean what it never meant and prophecy 'so called'
apply to you when
of course it does not?
Perhaps they are concerned yet another "HOW" and
"WHEN"
is just more not really that way or now yet ?
Because some even realize you are not actually a trained
theologian
but rather a spiffy Bible Reader who doesn't even know the context
of
"Line upon line, line upon line, here a little , there a little,"
which is NOT a formula for how to study the Bible?
(Hint: God is mocking with baby talk what the priests
say and do in
their drunken state.)
Because they don't want to be brought back together
under your
leadership in the first place?
Because some think you will drag this out to August when ...well
you know?
The Apostle predicts our
reactions:
"The announcements of coming weeks and months will shock you
beyond imagination!"
But what if they are already burned out on the overarching,
awesome, incredible and amazing past stuff
you proclaimed and can't get it up
for more?
What if they can imagine more than you can imagine they can
imagine?
What if they wonder if you know all the announcements already
why
not get to the point and save them some gas money?
What if after all this all most can come up with is
"Man,
this is a bunch of bull shit it I ever heard it."?
What if they decide they have been too hard on their pastors and
leaders
after meeting you and go back to them apologizing
for being too
judgmental and unhelpful but grateful to God
they don't lead like you do or
adopt so many titles as you need?
What if United and Living actually united and came alive?
What if being "shocked" is getting old and in hind
sight,
not all that shocking actually?
The Apostle Rejoices
Over:
" Repentant ministers and many faithful splinter employees will
carry on,
serving solely in God’s Church."
What if ministers won't sign your terms of repentance forms?
What if faithful splinployees won't sign
your terms of repentance
forms?
What if repentant ministers figure out no one who ever repented
into RCG
ever got to speak or teach again publicly as far as we can tell.
Did Dale Schurter die?
What if you can't find enough repentant splinployees to mow the
grass,
ride in the electric carts you like so much
or polish your statue?
What if a repentant minister or fake board member
finally wakes up
someday soon and says,
"Hell no you don't need a corporate Jet!"?
What if some repentant splinployee or treasurer
advises Whitman
Chocolates instead of Steuben???
And Finally Brethren:
"Make no mistake. The last three paragraphs
are TRUE!
Read them again, this time more carefully."
So you think we're too stupid to get it the first
time?
(You'll have to give these next awesome sermons
over a few times so we get it.)
What if we really don't want to make a mistake
either
so coming back to you makes no sense?
What if the way you spin the Old Testament in the
coming weeks
and proof text an idea you already accept
as true turns out to not
really be true?
What if we share tapes of your sermons with other
theologians
and get some input from them?
I guess we covered the arrogant part already...
I kinda
like these observations, still valid today about questionable Apostles, in this
case the Apostle Paul but don't take these as compliments.
Bishop John S. Spong (Episcopal Bishop of Newark)
"Paul's words are not the Words of God. They are the words of Paul- a vast difference."
Carl Jung (Psychologist)
"Paul hardly ever allows the real Jesus of Nazareth to get a word in."
Albert Schweitzer
(Insert Apostle Dave for "he" and "Paul")
"Where possible he (Paul) avoids quoting the teaching of Jesus, in fact even mentioning it. If we had to rely on Paul, we should not know that Jesus taught in parables, had delivered the sermon on the mount, and had taught His disciples the 'Our Father.' Even where they are specially relevant, Paul passes over the words of the Lord."David Hume
"When men are most sure and arrogant they are commonly most mistaken, giving views to passion without proper deliberation which alone can secure them from the grossest absurdities"
Because we're just gonna bet you have
not bounced any
of your prophetic ideas
of your prophetic ideas
off real men (or
anyone) who could really stand up and say,
"that's the biggest load
of BS I have ever heard.
That's not what those scriptures are meant to
mean.
Have you considered a counselor"?
