James Malm: Heathen COG's Will Be Keeping Trumpets On Wrong Day

God's greatest living apostle (after Dave Pack, of course) is James Malm.  He has declared that the TRUE Feast of Trumpets will begin at sunset on Saturday, September 7th and go through Sunday, September 8th.  It is also very important that all TRUE followers of Malm have adequate food and drink on hand because they will not be able to prepare any food for the feast because it is a double sabbath weekend.  Only heathen God haters  would dare go out to a restaurant on these two days!

Notice all the legalistic bullshit that Malm has to go through in order to keep the one true day:

The Feast of Trumpets this year will begin at sunset on Saturday September 7, 2013 and continue until sunset on Sunday September 8, 2013. 

Make sure that you are prepared and have enough food and whatever else you may need, for the Sabbath and the immediately following High Day.

The new moon will not even be potentially visible in Judea on Friday evening, Visibility is impossible from Israel on September 6, 2013 . 

The new moon will be easily visible from Israel on Saturday night September 7, 2013; making Sunday the Feast of Trumpets. 

Also the last new moon was sighted from Israel on Thursday night August 8, 2013. This makes Saturday night September 7 the 31st evening from the previous sighting. Since a lunar month can only be 29 or 30 days long, Saturday night has to be the Feast of Trumpets  by default, whether or not the moon is actually sighted.

Friday night: there will only be 21 minutes lagtime from sunset ;with 1.58% illumination.  the moon will not be seen over Judea in any case since its limit of visibility is south of Judea.

Saturday night: 58 minutes lagtime; 5.17% illumination and a more northerly position, makes a sighting of the first visible light in Judea very easy.

Bob Thiel: Jesus Who? My Church Will Be Reading The Law and Tooting Our Horns On The Feast of Trumpets

Those fun loving Jesus freaks over at the Continuing Ed Church of God will be reading the law all day on Thursday, September 5th.  No talk about that embarrassing dude called Jesus Christ, but plenty of law, law, law.

Bob Thiel, along with James Malm, feel that it is important to toot some horns on Trumpets.  These are not to be any kind of horn, but a rams horn.  However, there is one huge distinction between Thiel's "feast" day and Malm's "feast day.  They are keeping different days.  Thiel, like most COG's will be doing it on September 5th.  Malm, will be doing his horn tooting starting sunset September 7th and all day on Sunday the 8th..

Thiel believes that people should be blowing horns across the country on Thursday.

In our family, we normally have our youngest child blow on some type of trumpet to mark the beginning of the Feast of Trumpets, as well as to blow the trumpet off and on throughout the Holy Day. And although the Bible does not specify where the trumpet blowing should take place (hence I believe it should happen throughout the lands where the faithful live), I did find it interesting to learn that there was a specific place in Jerusalem that trumpeting was designated.

Thiel also made another claim that when creation happened it was fall time.  He believes this because some "sabbath keepers" in Transylvania believed creation happened in the fall.

Christian Sabbath-keepers, by the way, kept the Feast of Trumpets throughout history. Notice for example, that the Sabbath-keepers in Transylvania in the 1500s (and probably later) kept the Fall Holy Days such as the Day of Atonement and the Feast of Trumpets (called Day of Remembrance below):

The Sabbatarians viewed themselves as converted Gentiles..They held to the biblical holidays…The Day of Atonement was a day of fasting, although they emphasized that pentinence is more easily achieved by a peaceful and quiet meditation on the law and one’s life than by fasting. The Day of Remembrance (New Year, which they celebrated in the Fall of the year) was the day on which they thanked God especially for the creation of the universe. (Liechty D. Sabbatarianism in the Sixteenth Century. Andrews University Press, Berrien Springs (MI), 1993, pp. 61-62).

Some of the Jewish teachers taught that the creation was most likely in the Fall, rather than in the Spring because in Genesis 1:11 when God states, “Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb that yields seed, and the fruit tree that yields fruit”, this would be the Fall, for that is when there is both grass and fruit on trees), that the Feast of Trumpets symbolized the beginning of creation, and hence by, inference, life. The creation was likely in the Fall and various scriptures imply it (though this is not specified verbatim in scripture).

Team Ephraim Beats Team Manasseh By 4-0 In The 4th Annual Joseph Cup

Just when you think Armstrongism cant get any sillier, along comes the Flurryites and their soccer championship called Joseph Cup.  This earth shattering event is held annually on the cult compound in Edmond, OK.

EDMOND :: Philadelphia Church of God—Team Ephraim defeated Team Manasseh on August 22 by a score of 4-0 in the fourth Joseph Cup soccer match. It was the first victory for Team Ephraim in the history of the friendly rivalry between Herbert W. Armstrong College students and other PCG members held annually on the HWAC campus pitch.

The match is named after the father of biblical brothers Ephraim and Manasseh. Team Ephraim consisted of players from Britain and its current or former Commonwealth nations, including Australia, New Zealand, Canada, South Africa, and Zimbabwe. Manasseh was made up of players from eight American states.

The game was characterized by solid teamwork from the Ephraimite squad, which passed the ball effectively and kept its players spaced out. The Manassite forwards struggled to penetrate its defensive line, not registering a single shot on goal.