I Wanted It All To Be True...

As a child, and I recall my childhood experiences with the Memorial Orthodox Presbyterian Church, I wanted it all to be true.  As one of the Three Wise Men in the Christmas Play, I so wanted this story to be true.  Choirs of singing Angels out and about praising God in the Highest to a few lone shepherds seemed pretty amazing.  I did wonder why they didn't perform for the whole town but was told not to ask questions like that again.  I couldn't figure out how a virgin could give  birth and stay a virgin or how God could be the father with out...well you know. But later on learned that Mary was really with child by the Holy Spirit, so that must be God's power that did it. Then someone said the Holy Spirt was the Third Person in the Trinity of the One True God but three.  Huh?  That sounded ever much more kinky I stopped asking questions.  But it was all a grand mystery and who cared. I wanted it all to be true.

I wanted it all to be true when I came into the WCG circle at age 14.  No one ever talked about prophecy and it was the crazy 60's so not only did I want it to be true, but it actually seemed true. No one talked about any Jesus coming again "soon" or that "time was short" and "behold I come quickly" in the Presbyterian Church.   I wanted that to be true for lots of reasons.  Remember, it was the 60's.  But that was not true either.  It's still not true and I suspect never will be. (I know John...Time will tell)

I would like to believe that I would see my parents again, or my sister recently killed in an auto accident or my boys mom when that time comes, but I have my doubts.  I would prefer not to have to share Heaven or the Kingdom with many of the ministers I worked hard to avoid in life.

God can heal you?  Now THAT's something I really wanted to be true for my brother who had spent my entire youth and his entire life up to that point  living in a New York State Hospital .  I had seen way too much as a kid going every Sunday after church, from age 5 to 18, to pick him up from the Hospital and take him out to the park for picnics or ice cream at Margos in Newark, NY.  I recall kids with handicaps of all descriptions trying to get me take them home with me or just give them a hug. Overload on a small kid but I think it programed me for saving the world when I had the first chance.

When I leaned about James 5:14 , a scripture which never came up as a Presbyterian (I think they learned the folly of it 1500 years earlier than I did), I knew my brother just had to wait until someone could anoint him and the prayer of faith would heal him.  I was ordained a Local Elder at age 23 and the first thing I did when I got home from the Feast was to anoint my brother so he could see, hear and speak again.  Alas...he gave me the "what the hell are you doing" look, I chuckled and he's still blind, deaf and unable to speak 45 years later. I had about the same results with life threatening diseases among members in my ministry. I wanted it to be true. I do say that those with colds and flu were healed after I anointed them.  Usually within seven to ten days.

I wanted everything WCG taught to be true. I wanted there to be a Kingdom and 3 resurrections so everyone had a fair chance.  The Second Resurrection was THE answer to the question I always asked in Catechism Class and for which the Westminster Confession of Faith, which I had to memorize, had no answer.  "What happens to those who never hear about Jesus."  The Presbyterian minister told me that they all go to heaven so not to worry of it.  Huh?  I asked then why bother trying to convert them?  Leave them alone and they make it anyway!  I was asked to leave the class on several occasions. Mom never knew because I dawdled on the way home so as not to get home early and be asked why did I get home early?  He couldn't tell me where dinosaurs fit in the scheme of things either.

I didn't want the requirement to tithe to be true but I wanted the "Prove me now hear with" and the "windows of heaven " thing to be true.  Buzzzzzz...thanks for playing.  Not true either. But I wanted it to be true.

I realized along the way that in order for everything to be true, I had to have a faith based view of things.  But I don't anymore.  I have an evidence based view of things and so all the many things I was taught, first as member, and then taught myself as minister, over time simply slipped into the not actually true category.  I have probably heard 15,000 sermons in my life and given 5000 or so myself.  I wanted it to be true in the hearing and the giving.

Once one learns the actual origins, authorship, politic and history of scripture, you really can't go back.

Wanting something to be true, for me, was more comforting even if I suspected it not to actually be true, or at best unprovable.  But that only lasted so long. Now, being evidence based and a lover of geology, cosmology, paleontology and human origins, I find it all wanting bigly. That's not a fault. I don't mind lacking faith because I can't go with faith being the substance of what we hope is true based on no actual evidence that it is true.  (Heb 11:1)

If you can't show it, you don't know it.  That just rings true.

The bottom line is that I wanted the Bible to be true from my youth until about my mid 40's. But careful study, asking good questions that had accumulated over the years of soaking in the Bible and theology and realizing that what I had hoped was true was not actually true  had demanded my attention. I remember when the switch finally flipped in my mind.

I did not take a genius to see that HWA and company viewed their opinions as truth. But they had tendencies to change their truths along the way and in some cases change back. What kind of truth is that?  Then along come the Tkaches who got all starry eyed over the very theology I had grown up with and found to be wanting by age 14.  I told Joe Jr that he was reinventing the wheel and when Ron Kelly tried to tell me that there was no retirement because they had no money due to the great miracle Christ had worked in the church (he may have said Jesus) , I figured that WCG and now this new Jesus  was a trickster and was finished with it all. At least the Jesus of my youth didn't trick us like that!  I figured if the Tkaches can flip the entire church on it's back and call it truth, then I can go seek out the answers to my own questions without anymore help from the "experts", which neither HWA nor the Tkaches were or are. There are real experts out there. They actually do the hard work of being experts. They don't sit in their easy chairs and think shit up like the WCG Split, Splinter and Sliver gurus do.  Dave Pack is the poster child for thinking up theological shit.  Flurry is very good at it too as is Thiel, Malm, Weinland and ALL the rest.

If it helps, I do get teary at a good Presbyterian Hymn or Christmas sentiment though I know no Jesus was actually born at Christmas and you all should know that too. I can't say I get teary over old WCG hymns. "Death shall them seize and to the tomb ALIVE they shall go down" just doesn't and never did do it for me. "Praise ye the Lordo" was ok but none of them stayed in my head emotionally. The old Presbyterian hymns are a different story.  "How Great Thou Art" comes to mind as does "The Holy City"  Go figure....

I wanted it all to be true...

How Wearing Makeup Prevented Jesus From Returning

I grew up in Jasper, IN, as a member of the fundamentalist church the Worldwide Church of God, which was obsessed with the certainty that the world was ending and, as a result, so was I. It was up to the church members to pray enough, tithe enough, and be obedient enough to ensure that Jesus would return.

It was hard to imagine that if I didn't stop wearing Bonne Bell lip gloss, I would single-handedly prevent Jesus from returning and my family from being saved.

When I was 19 and a sophomore at Indiana University, I returned home one weekend and went to church with my parents to discover that the church's founder, Herbert Armstrong, decided that the reason Jesus hadn't returned was that women were wearing makeup. "Makeup is an abomination. Throw it out!" the minister screamed in a blistering sermon. "If you let makeup come between you and God," the minister continued, "then you will not make it into the kingdom! Women, it's because of you that Jesus cannot return."

His words were incomprehensible, despite being blunt and clear. It was hard to imagine that if I didn't stop wearing Bonne Bell lip gloss, I would single-handedly prevent Jesus from returning and my family from being saved.

In adolescence, I discovered the power of makeup to draw my fair features into definition. Mascara delineated my eyes. Eyebrow pencil and lipstick offered pops of color to my pale face. I'd been fed up with the church's attitude toward women and their subservient roles growing up, but when I argued against it, my father explained that God created a role for everything in the universe, including men and women.

See full article here:  How Wearing Makeup Helped Me Recover From a Religious Cult

UPDATED Breaking News: Documentary In Works About Armstrongism

For quite some time now various people who have suffered abuse in the various Church of God's have wanted to find someone to share their story with.  That time has now come!

The producers of Sole Survivor have agreed to produce a documentary on Armstrongism, which includes stories of spiritual, mental and physical abuse.  Over the last several decades the COG has been rife with suicides, molestations and other abuses. The stories already shared are shocking and appalling and are just the tip of the iceberg.

There is a Facebook page set up to share stories with the producers.

See: Prove All Things - The Plain Truth About Armstrongism

This is a CLOSED group and you will be required to do the following:

Must Answer all 3 Questions asked when you join to be approved as a member. This page is for Armstrongism Documentary use only. For those who are not willing to share their experiences you may be more comfortable in our sister group: "Victims of HW Armstrong-Breaking the Silence" We understand that not everyone is comfortable speaking out about the abuse they suffered and that is completely understandable. This group was created to gather victims who are willing to come forward and speak on film about their time in the COGs. If you state that you are not willing to share your story please do not take offense if your request to be added does not get accepted. This goes for leaving the 3 questions you are prompted with at joining empty as well. We need to know that everyone who joins the group is ready to go to battle. Some are not ready and again that is ok. If you change your mind you are more than welcome to participate in this. Again this group was created for the Armstrong Documentary use only. THIS IS NOT A "TROLLING" GROUP. We are not here to make "fun" of Herbert W Armstrong or his current followers. The testimonies here are true heartfelt stories being told by ex-members. You'd be surprised what's been kept from you.

For those uncomfortable about sharing in a Facebook group 

you can contact the producers directly here:

armstrongdocumentary@gmail.com

Here are the documentary producers:

Daisy May Films

Mercedes Kane

Mercedes Kane is the founder and president of Daisy May Films. She recently completed her third feature length documentary – the award-winning “Breakfast at Ina’s”, which premiered at the 2015 Chicago International Film Festival and is currently screening at film festivals and educational screenings nationwide. Her previous films include “Today We Saw the Face of God” (2012) and “Hearts of Hope” (2009). Mercedes was associate producer on the feature film “Chicago Heights”, named One of the Best Art Films of 2010 by Roger Ebert. She lives in Chicago with her husband Sanghoon and their two children where she works as a creative director, documentary filmmaker and freelance writer. In her free time, she juggles obsessive podcast listening with game nights, culinary adventures around Chicago and pajama dance parties in her 110-year old kitchen. Her current project is a docu-series based in Kentucky and co-directed with Ky Dickens.

Ky  Dickens

BIO

Award winning filmmaker Ky Dickens is best known for her highly acclaimed documentary work and her endless lists of questions. Did the Archaeopteryx sound like a bird, a chicken or a crocodile?

Ky splashed into the film world with her breakout documentary Fish out of Water, winning four juror prizes and securing international distribution by Netflix and First Run Features. Her second feature film, Sole Survivor, was acquired by CNN Films for broadcast and theatrical release. It premiered on the network in January 2014 and became the second highest grossing CNN Film. Sole Survivor was named the "Best Feature Film" at the 2013 BMA Awards.

Ky received a Focus Award for “Achievement in Directing” from Women in Film. Ky has been a documentary juror and panelist for film festivals around the country. She is also member of the Gene Siskel Film Center Community Council.

Ky is currently in post-production on her much-anticipated film, Zero Weeks (2017), about America’s paid leave crisis. For two years, Ky has been documenting families and parents across the country as they juggle the work/life balance, often returning to work within days of having a baby, or tending to breast cancer on their lunch break. Ky premiered the Zero Weeks trailer at the White House Summit on the United State of Women, hosted by Oprah and Michelle Obama.

Ky’s other film in post production, The City That Sold America (2017), is about Chicago’s crucial, yet often-overlooked place in american consumer culture. The film is a sequel to Emmy-award winning Art & Copy.

Ky also directs commercials and web content for a long list of clients including: Tylenol, Sears, Huggies, Sargento, Kohler, Wrangler, Perkins, Long John Silvers and many others.

Ky graduated with Magna Cum Laude honors from Vanderbilt University. She lives in Chicago's North Park neighborhood with her spouse, daughter, two cats, dog and three chickens. She thinks everyone should know that the chicken is the closest living relative to the T-Rex and that Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" contains the meaning of life.

If she won the lottery, she’d still want to be directing and editing. Storytelling, like clean water and Sriracha sauce are everyday necessities.