Tuesday, March 22, 2022

PCG Adults Switching Smartphones For Kids Troomi Phone

 

Imagine being an adult in the Philadelphia Church of God having just bought the latest smartphone and are enjoying the features that make your life more interesting and rewarding. Then the following Sabbath, your Grand Poohbah walks out on stage and plops his fat ass down in his comfy chair, and starts lecturing you about all of the things you are doing wrong as a PCG member. You are used to it though as this is what Sabbath services have been like for several decades. You know you won't hear anything about Christ since you will usually be raked over the coals for some misdeed the Grand Poohbah claims you are doing.

This Sabbath isn't much different until the Grand Poohbah says that loyal followers of God and himself should not be using or even owning smartphones! Well, CRAP! Double CRAP!!

What is a loyal PCG member to do? Keep the phone anyway and use it only when no members are around and leave it in your car when walking into church or getting rid of it and get another phone?

Apparently many PCG members are ditching their smartphones and flocking to buy a phone designed for children. This way they cannot inadvertently open a program and accidentally read all the negative publicity about the PCG! How convenient!

These are some things the Toomi phone restricts for kids, which actually isn't a bad idea, but is foolish for adults that should have the ability to use their god-given mental functions to make their own decisions.


No internet access so PCG members can't read about the negative things about the church or the heretical doctrines it teaches. Best of all though, at $19.95 a month, there is more money to send into The Grand Poohbah! Even better than all of that is if PCG members sign up on the private PCG member page they can get a free phone!

Sadly, even though this is a child's phone, many PCG members who have switched to it do not know how to use it! Wut?

PCG has an article up on its website talking about how to use the phone.

EDMOND—A number of PCG members are switching from smartphones to non-smartphones, including a phone from Troomi. (Phones are available for free to PCG members with the code BILLFREEA12.) Some have found the maps feature to work well, some have found it not to work, and Troomi has said that it is experiencing issues. Below are a few tips that seem to have helped some members fix the issue with Google Maps on the Troomi phone.

This is the world that Gerald Flurry and Lil'Stevie have created and members think it is good. The Churches of God truly get dumber by the day!





Monday, March 21, 2022

Saddest COG Continues Its Downward Spiral


Anyone with an extended period of time in the Armstrong version of the Church of God movement knows full well the "Ambassador Quality" it attempted to use in its publications and videos. Top-notch film crews with state-of-the-art technology pumped out slick propaganda videos that kept the lay members "informed" and supposedly impressed by that "Ambassador Quality". Those days died out with the implosion of the church and the tithe money dried up.

In the meantime, new and improved COG movements popped onto the scene, some literally overnight, attempting to restore the church to its glory days. These churches thought they brought over the brightest and the best when they formed their churches. UCG puts out its own slick church propaganda videos as does Dave Pack. Gerald Flurry has his own top-notch propagandists pumping out more articles, videos, and documentaries than any COG out there.

And then there is this. You only need to watch the first couple of minutes to see how bad it really is. You will know nothing new about this "christ" that embarrasses so many in the COG movement.

The Continuing Church of God is pleased to announce this sermonette from its Continuing COG channel: 

Millions Today Do Not Know Who Christ Really Was

James Martenet uses scripture to explain who Christ Really was. He does so by going over a message once written by the late Herbert W. Armstrong with various biblical quotes.

 


This is yet another version of the public face of the greatest COG to ever exist in human history, the improperly named "continuing" Church of God. Under the direction of the self-appointed, diploma mill Ph.D. "earning" Bwana Bob Thiel, we have seen that "Ambassador Quality" thrown in the nearest trash bin.

From flouncing and bouncing in his chair, seated in front of worn-out threadbare curtains, flanked by crooked bookcases, light switches, and doorknobs, the world's greatest church leader regales us with hilarious videos and poorly made animations. 

Sadly, even his assistant speakers in the church are not any better.

Where would any of these guys be without having to constantly fall back on Herbert Armstrong, even reading his stuff word for word in sermonettes and sermons? Does any speaker in the COG movement have a brain that can actually think differently and speak with their own personal integrity and research? Apparently not in the improperly named "continuing" Church of God.

Thankfully, this lets us all witness firsthand the downward spiral of the Armstrongite movement into nothingness.


Sunday, March 20, 2022

PCG: Satan Attacks Gerald Flurry In Jerusalem - Hilarity Ensues!

 


Gerald Flurry hopped onto his vanity jet the other day and headed off to Jerusalem so he could educate them on how things really should be done because after all, he is a COG leader and knows EVERYTHING when it comes to biblical archeology and the Bible!

Once Flurry arrived in Jerusalem and since it is so close to Passover when Satan is always angry at the true church, he caused a water line to break. 

GF gave an “update” on his Jerusalem trip when he spoke from Edstone on the 12th. It was an exceedingly boring sermon, but I’ll mention a few things and comment on some. 
 
He told a lot of their woes after they got there; e.g., water line broke on the Sabbath. But “Satan attacks his church this time of year.” 

After that torturous day of Satan attacking them, Big Daddy and Lil'Stevie decided to go out for dinner where unbeknownst to them Satan was waiting in the kitchen and was cooking their food!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only “exciting part of the sermon” was when he told how there was “something toxic” in the food he ate for breakfast at this fine restaurant he and his son went to and so he proceeded to tell how he was vomiting all over his suit and almost fainting and being shaky. (I had to wonder if someone tried to poison him.) He said he said to himself at that time, “I have two to three seconds to live.” SF took him to his room, cleaned him up, and he slept all afternoon and that night. He said that “God healed him” from that. He further noted that there weren’t a lot of people in the restaurant when that incident happened and if there were he would have been taken the hospital and quarantined a long time. 

Flurry then continues on telling his listeners how close to death he came and that he was just like Herbert Armstrong who claimed was resurrected from the dead after having a heart attack in Arizona. To further humiliate Satan, Flurry's "christ" kept him alive so he can be here when that "christ" arrives to be crowned King of Kings on Flurry's coronation chair.

He had to bring up about HWA being sick several times and the time HWA said “he died” and came back to life. He even added that there are some Scriptures that he (GF) “may live until Jesus Christ returns.” He let them know that he will be 87 pretty soon but in good health. 
 
Then I don’t know if he was putting on an act or what, but he started to break up and almost start crying when he said his son “takes good care of him.” He said he has “been blessed with so much loyalty–and all the ministers are loyal and it’s so different than what happened with HWA.” (They are “loyal” because ministers are mostly all related to each other so as not to take a chance on someone being a traitor from the inside.) 

Afterward, once God in his divine mercy healed Flurry from this Satanic onslaught and needing to spend more tithe money, he hopped on his vanity jet and flew to England to visit his indoctrination "college" in Edstone. Remember, Edstone was Flurry's second choice for an English campus after being humiliated by the owners of Bricket Wood campus (now being developed onto luxury homes) when they refused to sell to him. Plus, Edstone was as close as he could get to three significant artifacts in COG mythology - the Stone of Scone and the coronation chair, Hill Tara in Ireland, and the ark of the covenant, which Flurry believes was buried there by Jeremiah and his daughters. The Edstone campus would give them convenient access to hop on a ferry to Ireland and start digging up Hill Tara when the time is right. 

In addition to this amazing prophetic activity, Edstone gives them the quickest access to Scotland when Flurry and Lil'Stevie go up there and demand that Scotland turn over the Stone of Scone to them. Scotland will willingly do this when they see that Flurry's church is David's true descendants and is preparing the way for some creature they call "christ" to come back and sit on it. This way Scotland doesn't need to fly it over to Edmond, Oklahoma where Herb's prayer rock is enshrined as a replacement. Once Scotland gives Flurry the Stone of Scone, he can then put it on his jet and fly it to Jerusalem where his "christ" will be coming to sit on it after first touring the mind-boggling CORRECT version of Biblical archeology at the Armstrong Institute of Biblical Archaeology.

While there Flurry spoke about Herbert working with the university in Jerusalem on archeology digs and the great COG myth that its members are being trained to be world rulers. Flurry also boasted that what they are doing in Jerusalem with their institute is far more IMPORTANT than what is happening in Ukraine today.

Talked about HWA’s “deal” with Jerusalem University; “getting rid of the Putins of this world”; and “we are getting ready to rule.” He said what they are doing in Jerusalem is “more important than what is going on in Ukraine.” 

Flurry then reminded his few tiny group of listeners in Edstone that Herbert Armstrong's co-worker letters were so spiritually important that they needed to read one of them over and over and mark it up. After all, Herb's letters are more important than the Bible, particularly that part so-called Christians call the New Testament.

He read a lot from an old HWA co-worker letter about Jerusalem that he said was a “classic” and that they need to get it, read it over, and mark it up. 
 
“God is going to use us and we are going to be tried and tested.” They have to “dig down to the original palace of David–the original Jerusalem.” (As if Christ will not be able to do what needs to be done when He reigns. It’s all up to PCG.) 

Flurry then waxed eloquently on how the world will soon be listening to him and the church, the elect, who will soon be joining up with Flurry's god so they can give the world's leaders and rebellious citizens a "taste of their own medicine".

The world won’t listen but “they will listen before this is all over with and God is going to let them [men like Putin] know what it’s like to be on the receiving end.” He even used the words, “give them a taste of their own medicine.” He believes that Putin will use a nuclear bomb “before this is all over with,” and “these men are beasts.” 

Flurry claims he and his work are the ones blowing the real shofar in Israel.

 “Our job is get that message out there.” “Who is blowing the shofar today? This is all about our work.” 

The writer of this letter, posted on Exit and Support Network, ended with this:

This sermon was his most boring, drawn-out one to date in spite of him getting his audience to laugh loudly several times. 
 
There was nothing in this sermon to help people know how to have a closer relationship with Christ. –PCG source March 19, 2022