1. Authority of Scripture: The Ultimate "Choose Your Own Adventure" Bible Edition
Let’s start with authority — because why trust thousands of years of biblical scholarship when you can make your own version of the Bible? That’s right, we’re talking about the Jehovah’s Witnesses and their New World Translation (NWT). Why use a perfectly good Bible when you can “improve” it to fit your own unique beliefs? For instance, in John 1:1, the NWT helpfully suggests that instead of “the Word was God,” we go with, “the Word was a god.” It’s like the Bible was a salad bar, and Jehovah’s Witnesses decided to throw in a few extra ingredients to make it taste better — like “let’s throw in some polytheism while we’re at it!” The result is a Bible that's about as accurate as a horoscope.
Armstrongism takes a different approach — instead of rewriting the Bible, they take an entirely different direction: Herbert W. Armstrong becomes your personal Bible commentary. Don’t waste time reading the Scriptures yourself — just turn to Armstrong’s latest magazine, his books, or his radio broadcast for the true interpretation. So, while traditional Christians have to suffer through an ancient text with historical context, Armstrongism gives you the joy of seeing everything filtered through the great Herbert, like a theological Instagram filter that makes everything look extra holy.
Meanwhile, traditional Christianity simply goes with the Bible. I know, shocker, right? The Church has spent thousands of years carefully interpreting the Bible, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, no need for constant updates or dramatic reimaginings. But sure, who needs 2,000 years of history when you can be your own revelatory prophet?
2. The Nature of God (The Trinitarian Tug-of-War)
Next up, let’s talk about God — and by that, I mean the god that Jehovah’s Witnesses and Armstrongism made up because they didn’t quite get the memo on the Trinity.
Let’s start with the Jehovah’s Witnesses: Why have a Trinity when you can just have one all-powerful guy with a whole bunch of rules and a super-angel sidekick? Jehovah is the boss, and Jesus is like the angel-in-chief. According to the Witnesses, Jesus was created by Jehovah — not eternal, not fully divine, but a “god” in the sense of being the world’s best employee. So, instead of a perfect, loving relationship between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we get a cosmic version of “I’m the boss, and you’re the assistant manager.” But don’t worry, the Holy Spirit is just God’s active force — it’s like calling your Wi-Fi signal the “Holy Spirit.” Sure, it works when it needs to, but it’s really not much to chat with over coffee.
Then there’s Armstrongism — ah yes, here we get God’s Family. Herbert W. Armstrong didn’t just want a Trinity, he wanted the ultimate family reunion. According to him, the Father and the Son are the only ones in the God Family, but humans are totally invited to join the party! According to Armstrong, God is like the CEO of the universe, and guess what? If you play your cards right, you can get promoted to divine status! Imagine a family Thanksgiving dinner where you’re not just hoping to get a slice of turkey — you’re aiming to inherit the company! So, forget communion with God — just sign up for Armstrongism and claim your seat at the divine dinner table.
Meanwhile, traditional Christianity teaches that God is one essence in three persons: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. A perfect relationship of love, unity, and eternal existence. Not a cosmic business model. Not a “family plan” where we’re all invited to get a divine inheritance. Just a beautiful mystery where God’s love flows through the Trinity, and you’re invited to share in itthrough the grace of Christ.
3. Who is Jesus? The Eternal Son or a Superangel in Disguise?
When it comes to Jesus, both Jehovah’s Witnesses and Armstrongism have truly outdone themselves in inventing their own versions of the Savior of the World — as long as you don’t mind stripping Jesus of His divinity.
Jehovah’s Witnesses like to rebrand Jesus as a super-angel, created by Jehovah, who exists somewhere in the “heavenly management team.” They’ve made Him important, of course, but He’s not God. Just imagine if you were at a divine board meeting and you got promoted from being a temp worker to manager of salvation — that’s essentially the Jehovah’s Witness view of Jesus. He’s important, but He’s not really the Savior of the world. But don’t worry, He’ll be there at Armageddon to save all the faithful Jehovah’s Witnesses from being wiped out (by the way, the rest of humanity gets the boot, but that’s a minor detail).
Armstrongism, not to be outdone, makes Jesus into the Messiah, but also a glorified "King" whose job isn’t to save humanity from sin but to set up the Millennial Kingdom. So, instead of a Savior who reconciles us with God through His death and resurrection, Jesus is more like a future world ruler who’s coming back to hand out heavenly real estate. But no need to worry about sin or anything trivial like that — the focus is on whether or not you’ve kept the right Sabbath and avoided pork in your diet. After all, it’s all about preparation for the coming kingdom — or as Armstrong might call it, “The Ultimate Homeowner’s Association.”
Meanwhile, traditional Christianity maintains that Jesus is fully God and fully man, the eternal Son of God, who came to die for our sins, so we could be reconciled to God and enjoy eternal life. No weird promotion schemes here — Jesus saved us. Simple, beautiful, and 100% divinely orthodox. Nothing to add or subtract from that.
Stay tuned for Part II
Comparing Cults: JW vs. WCG © 2025 by Ai-COG is licensed under CC BY-ND 4.0
