The Pastor’s Ass

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.

The local paper read:

PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor

 not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey 

so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back
the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion
can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Rod Meredith on Whether You Should Vote For A Mormon Or A REAL Christian (LCG of Course)

Leave it to the Living Church of God to stick it's nose once more into the political arena.

Rod Meredith condescendingly starts out with this slam against all non-LCG Christians:

True Christians are those who follow Christ’s example. How would Jesus Himself approach the upcoming election?

Let's face it, there are no real Christians anywhere on the face of the earth except for Living Church of God members in good standing.

The Christian mission down the street feeding the homeless are nothing more than a bunch of pagan asses. The Christian men and women who provide free medical care for starving African peoples are really just doctors of death who are only temporarily keeping these poor Gentile people alive for a few more months thwarting God's plan.

Yet those of us in the LCG, who stick our noses in the air around the homeless people, the drunks, the gays, the prostitutes, the waitress serving our food on Saturdays during the Feast, the unwed mothers, the Mexican immigrants, etc., are the REAL Christians practicing First Century Christianity.

Meredith continues:

A true Christian must learn to live as Jesus Christ actually lived—not as many people incorrectly imagine He might have lived. Jesus Himself told us: “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God” (Luke 4:4). The genuine answer as to how we ought to live and function in a democratic nation can be found in the Bible—the inspired word of God. For we are to have the “mind of Christ” (Philippians 2:5). And the Bible is the revelation of God’s mind—telling us how the Father and Jesus Christ really think about the fundamental issues of life.

If LCG members and ministers really "lived as Jesus did" then why do they ignore the homeless?  Why do they not dine with the prostitutes and the homosexuals?   Why do they ignore the outcast and the down trodden of society in favor of tithe paying members?  Why do they spend millions on feast sites when that money could have made a greater impact in the local communities feeding and housing the poor?

All through this past summer, Americans have been deluged with messages urging voters to support one candidate or another. Looking at the men who would be President, we ask ourselves: “Does he really believe he is fit to lead the world’s only superpower? Does he think that any human being is fit for the task?”

In Meredith and LCG's eyes, Obama, Romney, Mormons, Catholics, and all non-LCG people are incapable of the task.  Only TRUE Christians in the Living Church of God will make good rulers.

Rod writes:

Probably within this very generation, the biblical Jesus Christ will return to sit on a real throne in the city of Jerusalem. His government will be established throughout the entire earth—a literal government empowered by Almighty God, ruled by the King of kings and Lord of lords (Revelation 19:15–16). And what will Jesus’ followers—the true saints of God—be doing? “Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world will be judged by you, are you unworthy to judge the smallest matters? Do you not know that we shall judge angels? How much more, things that pertain to this life?” (1 Corinthians 6:2–3). In the next few verses, Paul went on to expound how the Christians in Corinth were supposed to learn to practice God’s government in the Church by correctly “judging” problems among themselves. From Genesis to Revelation, a position in God’s government has always been filled by appointment—not by politicking or otherwise making deceptive promises to people, hoping to buy their votes. It was in this context that Paul could ask: “[Why] do you appoint those who are least esteemed by the church to judge?” (v. 4).

Christians are in training, now, to be kings and priests in the soon-coming Kingdom of God.

Living in a world populated by LCGers or COGers ruling with rods of iron over humanity would be a real hell on earth.  No one in their right mind would submit to that! There would be millennial rebellion on countless worlds!

Rod Meredith and any other COG ministers that mock voting make their rantings irrelevant because their criticism is invalid and worthless.

Conservative Christian Ministry Calls Out Joe Kovacs For His Armstrongite Heresies

Conservative Armstrongites have been slap happy lately about the interviews and books by Joe Kovacs.  He admits he is influenced by Herbert Armstrong's books and articles but refuses to admit if he is a Church of God member.  A lot of things in his books read just like it has come out of Herbert Armstrong's books. The die-hard Armstrongites do not like that he refuses to say if he is a COG member though. He is also a regular contributor on WorldNetDaily, an uber-conservative internet "news" service.

Kovacs latest books are Shocked by the Bible and The Divine Secret.

One conservative Christian ministry, The Berean Call, has taken exception to Kovacs Armstrongite connections and calls him out on it.

...WND ’s executive news editor Joe Kovacs is more subtle. Kovacs calls himself a “Bible believing Christian” and attends a non-denominational church. His books  Shocked by the Bible  and  The Divine Secret  are sold not only by  WND  but also by many of the splinter groups from The Worldwide Church of God who still follow the teachings of Herbert W. Armstrong.

This is not surprising, for many of Kovacs’s theological positions line up with those of the late cultist Armstrong. For example, Kovacs’s theology of the Godhead parallels that of Armstrong’s polytheist view of a family of gods. In  The Divine Secret , Kovacs writes, “Yes, God is indeed a family. Jesus is the Word and He’s one member of the God family, and God the Father is yet another member of that same God family” (Kovacs,  The Divine Secret,  24).

They call out The Journal for it's interview with him:

An offshoot of Armstrong’s Worldwide Church of God interviewed Kovacs in their publication  The Journal . From his comments, it is clear that he believes we shall become divine, again paralleling the teaching of Armstrong.

The Journal : …a minority of Christians in the COG movement are so-called unitarians. They believe that Jesus is the Son of God, the sinless sacrifice, but they believe He is not God and not the Creator. Does that belief, if accurate, negate the plan of God as you see it?

Mr. Kovacs : The plan of God is that God is reproducing. He’s having children and raising them to be in the family of God. We are called  children of God  all throughout the New Testament, sons of God. God is having many sons and daughters.

Think for a minute: What are the sons of a giraffe? They’re giraffes. What are the children of cats? They’re cats. What are the children of God? They’re Gods. They’re going to be in the God family. (Kovacs, “Children of a giraffe are giraffes, so what are the children of God,”  The Journal , Issue No. 150, 7/27/12)

 The Berean Call includes this comment towards the end.

In conclusion, the “gospel” advanced by Kovacs steals the security of true believers. This unbiblical message is being foisted upon people, as believers join together with unbelievers to reform this nation.

You can read the article here and it's theological stance: A Shocking Lack of Discernment: Promoting the Heresies of Herbert W. Armstrong

Facebook and the Feast of Tabernacles

The social media phenomenon Facebook and the internet have forever changed the face of Armstrongism. The various COG's can no longer hide in the shadows with stupid rules and regulations for it's members.  People no longer fear the Armstrongite cult leaders and have no fear in saying so.

Facebook is starting to have a lot of posts from people who have went to various COG Feast opening nights.  Most were not impressed.  The glory days with huge Feast sites and the air of excitement and expectation seem to be gone.  Now that excitement is dampened by dueling Feast sites like UCG and COGWA in Tennessee who are meeting within miles of each other, yet discouraging members from attending the other site.

Ever since the break up of the mother church into hundreds and hundreds of  harlot daughters, COG members who travel to Feast sites have been routinely Feast hopping.  They start out at one Feast site and then jump to another towards the end. Usually this is done with a different COG.  They are either bored with the sermons they are hearing and the attitude of the members attending, or they have family members or friends in another group that they want to be with.  Others do it just to piss off ministers who think they can tell them what to do.

One woman writes about her last Feast when the "dumb leader," as she calls him, started inventing new control measures for his  members. "...no flip-flops unless they were leather, no denim jeans for women or children, no pants for women on "holy" days..."

She further said, this leader even went as far as having every guest attending to sign a document that, "...they could be sued if they spoke out against any belief or practice of the church..." She says, "...it was a true cult with a wack job leader who demanded tests of loyalty and submission that clearly went against the word of Yahuah. He made people choose before he would give them status in the cult."

Another person notes that you can attend an entire eight day festival and barely hear Jesus Christ talked about about except in prayers, when "In Jesus Christ's Name..." is said.

One person reports after visiting an LCG site is that he saw no excitement, just resignation. There were less than 500 people present. He wondered why people were not yelling to Rod, "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO OUR CHURCH???? There used to be 5000 people here, now there's 500!!!!" 

Then there is James Malm who claims ALL the harlot daughters of Armstrongism are keeping the feast on the wrong day.  His group starts a day later.  He has told all his acolytes to keep both days, one to make their attending feast site happy and the other day to make God happy.  If you are one of his acolytes you will be keeping 9 days instead of 8 this year.

Another person wisely notes:

"Whey are all these competing orgs teaching the same thing and wasting so much money duplicating efforts in a shameful misappropriation of funds????" We all know why, none at the top of the pile will give up the power and the money. COGland is chaos. Proof the ideology is NOT God's "true church." Overall, it was sad, incredibly sad...just like last year."

Jim Meredith's Upbeat Invitation to Hawaii For The Feast

Check out this wonderful inspiring video from Jim Meredith 

inviting you to Living Church of God's "feast" in Hawaii.  

If anything could kill the "feast excitement" this would be it!  

An empty bookshelf and a dying plant 

certainly do NOT give us a foretaste of millennial expectations!

At least buy a poster of Hawaii with the beach and some palm trees for a backdrop.  

It's no wonder Living Church of God is now the church of the undead. Joyless and miserable.  

At least UCG's video's had a catchy tune and great visuals, even if it was stupid as hell. 

UCG video at least gives one the impression their Feast will be fun.  

LCG's video though................

If Jim is the person Rod is grooming to be his successor, I have great pity for LCG members. Your church will certainly be splitting into different factions.