Ask Your Pastor: Did Size Matter Back Then Too?

UCG, LCG, PCG and the myriad of other COG's all claim to keep the entire word of God and God's laws.  Perhaps you can ask your pastor on why he is a liar when they do not keep these laws.  COG ministers are especially good at ignoring this verse because of their own sweet daughters indiscretions:  Deut 22:20-21
I could name at lease 15 daughters of ministers, evangelists and leaders of various splinter groups that got pregnant before they were married.

From: Jesus Needs New PR

Consider the following verses…

Deuteronomy 23:1 ESV
No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.

This seems mean. And it seems to be something that Jesus wouldn’t like. Of course, I still have my testicles…

Deuteronomy 25:11-12 NASB
If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.

Wait. Is she mistreating the genitals? I mean, is she just grabbing them? Lovingly? Still, even if she was trying to hurt the genitals, should we really cut off her hand? What about youth pastors who give kids wedgies? Cut off a finger or two?

Genesis 38:8-10 NASB
Then Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother’s wife, and perform your duty as a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.” Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD; so He took his life also.

Okay… so we know the story of Onan… he’s rather famous! So he spills his semen on the ground rather than putting it in the wife of his dead brother. Apparently, God gets angry at things like this… so God killed Onan…

Ezekiel 23:19-20 NET
Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.

Size mattered back then, too…

Deuteronomy 22:20-21
If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the young woman’s virginity can be found, ²¹ she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done an outrageous thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father’s house. You must purge the evil from among you.

Interesting… we ignore the above verse, but we don’t mind using that one “anti-anal sex” verse in Deuteronomy to promote “God’s/our” views on homosexuality…

1 Samuel 18:25-27 ESV

Then Saul said, “Thus shall you say to David, ‘The king desires no bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king’s enemies.’” Now Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines. And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king’s son-in-law. Before the time had expired, David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king, that he might become the king’s son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a wife.

Can you regift foreskins?

Exodus 4:24-25 NASB

Now it came about at the lodging place on the way that the LORD met him and sought to put him to death. Then Zipporah took a flint and cut off her son’s foreskin and threw it at Moses’ feet, and she said, “You are indeed a bridegroom of blood to me.”

Can you imagine being that poor kid? Wow.

Judges 3:19-25 ESVAnd Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. And the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his belly; and the dung came out.

So lots of biblical things came back to balls, foreskin, and poop….
What do you think about these verses?
Are they inspired?
And if you’re a man, are you still eligible for communing in God’s assembly?

COGaWA Brownshirt's Ready To Interview Members To See If They Are Worthy

It did not take long before the jackbooted brown-shirt's in COGaWA's hierarchy to start laying down stupid rules for its potential members.  The new Overlord's will be visiting the new potential members to determine whether they are in agreement with all of CGaWA's  1,662+ laws.  They are adding to the already impossible list of laws that CANNOT be kept from the Old Testament with a myriad of other laws to imprison members and control them.

Why do these people who left to join COGaWA  continue to allow themselves to be controlled? Many of these men and women suffered abuse under HWA, Meredith, Flurry, Kilough and others, yet they are just like dog's coming back to eat their vomit.  They think they are martyrs for the truth and that they are required to submit.

Malm has this comment on his blog:

I have been informed that the new COGAWA brethren have been forbidden to study the Bible together and that the new ministry will be visiting them to make sure that they know and agree to the new party line [if not they will be shown the exit].  I do not know if this is in only a few areas due to certain local elders enthusiasm, or whether it is an overall policy.

WeinerDude Weinland - 1/2 of the Witless Witnesses

Poor Ronnie.  He just cannot get any respect!

Weinland and the Jehovah's Witnesses




Another great video of the Witless Witness is this one where he makes death threats against all mockers. I say come and get me big boy! I have already had Neville Stevens COG splinter cult members pronounce a death sentence on me over 10 years ago. I would never live to see a Passover again. I would  struck down on the Night to be Much Observed.

A Warning to Mockers




Why has Armstrongism produced such mind numbingly STUPID idiots like this?

The Apostle's Everyday Home Furnishings

While various COGlet's splinter personality cults are idolizing HWA on this the 25th anniversary of his death, I thought I would give you a peek into the apostles lifestyle.

While the membership toiled and struggled in the 60's and 70's HWA was on a spending spree in Europe.  Millions of dollars were dumped over the years to furnish the home of the  end time prophet.  This was all during the time the pleading letters were sent to the members to send in as much money as they could because the work was 'in crisis.'

Of course we had morons that justified these artifacts as necessary for the entrainment of  world leaders and dignitaries coming to hear about a "Strong Hand From Someplace".  Others claimed all these goodies would be used to take care of the brethren as they were struggling in Petra.  These items would buy us food and drink and shelter by the Muslims.

One other idiot in Pasadena claimed that the Pasadena campus would never be destroyed during the tribulation.  The invading armies of Germany would use the Pasadena campus as their military headquarters.  They would be so in awe and taken back by it's beauty that they would not destroy it.  Because of that the Pasadena campus would be the new earthly HQ of God's people when the Kingdom was established.  Never mind that the city is supposed to be Jerusalem, but heck, this is typical WCG mythology and it sounded cool!  Never mind that these armies would be torturing and killing fellow citizen's while they dinned and enjoyed music in the Auditorium.

Click on all pictures to enlarge them.

This was to keep HWA's roast beef warm.  Estimated value $5,000-$8,000

A Victorian Parcel-Gilt Silver Plated Table for your guests to place their calling cards on. $4,000-$6,000

Set of late 1800's silver centerpiece with glorious naked women on it.  $10,000-$15,000

late 1800's Gold Desert dishes $4,000-$6,000

German Silver Knight   $3,000-$5,000

Pair of German Silver Figures, Sir Lancelot and Lady Guinevere  $10,000-$15,000

Elizabeth II Equestrians  $6,000-$9,000 each

Elizabeth II 14 kt Gold Table Service (This was used for formal dinners) $50,000-$80,000

Sterling Silver Everyday service $10,00-$15,000

Silver Goblet's to drink your Harvey's Bristol Cream In $8,000-$12,000

Set of 22 Silver Dinner Plates $8,000-$12,000

George V Sterling Silver Umbrella Stands $10,000-$15,000