Friday, June 21, 2013

Dave Pack: My Income is SOARING But the Upcoming Fall Announcement Will BOGGLE Your Mind!



Take that pansy Rod Meredith!  Take that you drunkard Gerald Flurry!  I AM THE MAN!  Look on me in awe and amazement.  There is no one else like me io the entire earth.  God is on MY side and NOT yours.  My church is the most superfantabulous Church of God to ever grace this earth.  Humanity stands in awe of me.  The world kneels at my feet.  I AM the DUDE!

Finally, brethren, God is showing His blessings as our income continues to SOAR, helping to expand preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God to a world in desperate need of this good news. Surely just the elements of this announcement demonstrate where God is at work to those who have ears to hear and eyes to see. After a strong year of financial growth in 2012, income for God’s Work has continued to increase. With June not yet over, the first half of 2013 is already 28.9% over the first half of 2012. The 2013 second quarter performance is conservatively now forecast to exceed the year’s first quarter by 22%! Announcements that this Church will make beginning in the fall will BOGGLE YOUR MIND!

Dave Pack Drags Dale Schurter Out of the Reeducation Camp to Introduce the Most IMPORTANT Agricultural Program On Earth

Meet Dave and Dale
 God's Two Most Important Men Ever To Walk This Earth


Dave has finally found a use for Dale Schurter.  After languishing for over a year in the reeducation camps of RCG, Dale has been given new life.  Dave likes to claim Dale is the worlds foremost authority on agriculture. No one is more intelligent or knows more than Dale when it comes to agriculture.

Since Dave has the worlds most superfantabulous church, why shouldn't he also have the worlds most superfantabulous agricultural program!

The nations of the world will soon be flocking to Wadsworth to stand in awe of Dave and Dale and a corn patch on the back acreage of the property.  Who wants to bet Davey will build a "Digester" on this property?  Herb had one in Big Sandy so Davey needs one in Wadsworth.


I am also pleased to introduce our coming agriculture program, which will be one of the most important food production programs anywhere on Earth. Many brethren remember the extensive and vibrant Agriculture Education, Research, Production, outreach and extension programs that were a division of Ambassador College and took place on two of its campuses (Big Sandy, Texas and Bricketwood, England). These cutting-edge biblically based programs were started in the WCG under Mr. Dale Schurter. This program has been reinstituted as the Agriculture Education and Research Institute (AERI) of Ambassador Center. It will soon be a model for all nations, demonstrating the crucial basics about quality food production that has been lost by great numbers today. We hope—and expect—to very soon announce the purchase of some nearby farmland.
I asked Mr. Schurter to include a brief description of the program’s mission, motto and objective, which will remain the same as in the past. Here is his summary:
  • “To restore true values in agriculture, health and man’s awesome potential, according to the laws and principles in God’s Word. To observe and obey all of God’s commandments and statutes as they relate to these three areas. To demonstrate and teach that His Way works and is always the best way!
  • “Restoring and sharing true values in these disciplines as a way of life that promotes and restores life.
  • “Our objective is to demonstrate and teach that God’s Way works—for the soil, plants, animals, every individual, family, group or nation.
  • “The self-help programs we develop and share are designed to teach those in need ‘how to fish’ in helping meet their needs, as well as giving them a fish or two for ‘seed.’ Experience shows this approach has synergism in providing motivation to be better people individually, and to share what they learn with others.
  • “Our procedure is to identify genuine needs, their cause, and establish appropriate tasks and programs designed to correct the causes and meet the needs, thus honoring our Creator through promoting and sharing the way of the kingdom of God by demonstration and education—offering others the way and opportunity to do the same, both physically and spiritually.