The Modern Fundamentalist's Song
Modern Fundamentalist:
I am the very model of a Christian
fundamentalist
And by a strange coincidence a solid
occidentalist.
I cherry-pick the Bible for the verses
close or distantly
Amenable to straight white males, however
inconsistently,
Unless those verses might apply a little
inconveniently
In which case I interpret them a good deal
more than leniently.
We want to do just what we please however
strange or horrible
And still regard ourselves as wholly moral
and adorable.
Congregation:
We want to do just what we please however
strange or horrible
And still regard ourselves as wholly moral
and adorable.
And still regard ourselves as wholly moral and
adorable.
MF:
I call myself a Christian but it's really
Paulist cultery
Since Christ himself has said that my
divorces were adultery.
But I from man to man enjoy convexness and
concavity
And call whatever others do immoral and
depravity.
Cong:
But we from man to man enjoy convexness and
concavity
And call whatever others do immoral and
depravity.
MF:
I do not want to hear about the quantum or
molecular
Or how the Founding Fathers made our
institutions secular
I say the nation's Christian under
Biblical authorities
Rejecting what the Constitution says about
majorities.
The workings of the government may worry
and perplex you all
I say we're equal under God -- unless you're
homosexual --
Or black or brown or female or some kind
of evolutionist
For all attempts at reasoning are really
persecutionist.
Cong:
Or black or brown or female or some kind of
evolutionist
For all attempts at reasoning are
really persecutionist.
MF:
My freedom of religion trumps your
Constitutionality
Because the Constitution says it does with
firm legality.
I claim my rights from God or man, whichever's
more commodious
For what I want to do however evil, vile,
or odious.
Cong:
I claim my rights from God or man, whichever's
more commodious
For what I want to do however evil, vile,
or odious.
MF:
When I can issue licenses or not because I
feel like it
The public's just my piggy and the public
can just squeal like it.
I'll happily apply whichever law is most
agreeable
To what I want to do since what I want is
unforseeable:
The conscience of the person must control
the way they view their job
And not demands that public servants ought
to serve and do their job.
The Constitution's man-made law and God is
not endorsing it;
The SCOTUS made their law, and now good
luck to them enforcing it.
Cong:
The Constitution's man-made law and God is not
endorsing it;
The SCOTUS made their law, and now good
luck to them enforcing it.
MF:
There's nothing in my creed that advocates
for love officially
Except some quotes that God and Jesus
handed down judicially --
I don't see why I must obey the acts of
which God sent a list
And yet I am the model of a Christian
fundamentalist.
Cong:
We don't see why we must obey the acts of which
God sent a list
And yet we are the models of a Christian
fundamentalist.
-- Marcus Bales
