Friday, June 8, 2012

Apostle Malm: Tribulation Could Start at End of This Year So Go and Buy A Crank Radio

The apostle is telling his acolytes today that the tribulation could be starting towards the end of this year.  Part of the reason this will be happening is his prediction that war is soon to break out in the middle east and the continuing bastardization of the true Church with pagan ideas and Bibles.

The apostle writes:

We are now very close to the tribulation with a high possibility that it will begin later this year.  At the same time the COG Groups are getting farther and farther away from God; fulfilling the prophets concerning the falling away from the faith in the last days.
I believe, based on what I hear, that it is essential to cover the sound doctrine of God’s word before the Fall Feast and to also cover more prophetic material.

If time should continue through next year, the plan is to get into the Wisdom Books after the Feast and go through the Book of John as we approach Passover.

I have NOT set any dates; the tribulation will NOT begin until the abomination is set up in Rome and then goes to the Holy Place around the time that Peace is declared.

Then to further scare his acolytes (as Armstrongism has always been good at doing) he writes:

Emergency radios: I have been asked by certain people about buying emergency radios with a abundant supply of batteries.  I personally think that this is not the way to go, although we should have a radio for emergencies and natural disasters.

I would suggest a Crank Radio with several bands including Short Wave bands along with AM FM etc.  Crank Radios do not need batteries and work by cranking for a few minutes to generate power internally in the radio.

Besides being very helpful during floods and hurricanes, I would like to remind everyone that communications by Short Wave can be broadcast and received worldwide.  That means that if a national power grid were down, information could still be received by Short Wave from almost anywhere else in the world.

I ask that anyone out there with some expertise on radios look into this and give us his opinion on the best model and SW antenna to purchase at


Anonymous said...

The crank apostle says we need a crank radio, so that we are properly prepared to go through the tribulation when it comes, probably later this year. After all, who the freak do you think you are? There's no way you're holy enough to be judged worthy to escape it.

Anonymous said...

Guess it's time to tell some stupid jokes in response to those Malm dishes up.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a banana? I don't know, but it's probably big, brown, and squishy.

~Miguel de la Rodente

Anonymous said...

CRANK Radio...hmmmmm, has a nice ring to it. Pastor Malm should grab the name in case he wants to go on radio.

Ron Weinland is on WKRP in Cincinnati already


Anonymous said...

Although I don't have one, I actually think having a crank radio and/or crank flashlight isn't bad idea.
(Not because Jesus is coming soon, but just because you may need one or the other and not have fresh batteries on hand.)

Several times, I've seen crank Christian preachers on crank Christian TV offering crank radios because of their crank "Jesus is coming soon!" shtick.

Funny thing is, they'll only send you one if you make a "donation" of a specified amount.
Why don't they just be honest and say they're selling it?

I mean, when shopping at a supermarket, I've never seen a price tag that says, "This can of tomato paste can be yours for a Love Donation of only 89 cents!"


Lake of Fire Church of God said...

M.T. Airways said, "Ron Weinland is on WKRP in Cincinnati already".

MY COMMENT - What a great TV show "WKRP in Cincinnati" was....Venus Fly Trap, Les Nessman, Johnny Fever, Mr. Carlson, Jennifer, etc. We should caste an Armstrong WCG comedy TV show because watching clowns like Ron Weinland, Dave Pack and the Apostle Malm make keep us all entertained.

I can hear it now...the thundering voice of the late Art Gilmore saying, "The World Tomorrow. WKRP in Pasadena presents Herbert W. Armstrong wannabe Ron Weinland bringing you the the plain truth about today's world news, and the prophecies for 2008, May 27, 2012 and perhaps even Federal prison".


Byker Bob said...

There is a natural human inclination. We see this with global warming. People are confronted with irrefutable scientific evidence of the erosion of the ozone layer's effect on glaciers, permafrost, sea level and its effect on island nations, the jetstreams and weather patterns, coral formation, and a plethora of other catastrophic events, but they don't like the solution, so they totally reject the science! It's just mind-boggling.

The problem is, some wannabe "apostles" are aware of this human propensity, and try to make it appear as if those who disagree with them are utilizing the same fallacious and self-destructive reasoning patterns. That's part of Malm's schtick, it's part of Thiels, Weinerdude's, and it was part of HWA's. Murphy's Law, to my knowledge, did not treat the common paradox, but the ACOGs certainly either knowingly, or accidentally, have certainly exploited one of the unwritten corrolaries!