Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Ron and Laura Weinland: Dumb and Dumber


Since Church of God felon Ron Weinland was released from his 3 1/2 years of tribulation punishment, he and his crazy wife have been attempting to rally what few remaining troops he has left.  The two Witless Witnesses had hoped to travel to Australia this year for the Feast of Tabernacles.  That quickly fell through when Australia denied him a visa  to travel to their country.  After that humiliation, the two money moochers decided to have their members pay for their Feast travels to Europe this year.

While he was in prison he decided to write a new book detailing the exact sequence of events that was to lead up to the Great Tribualtion.  Why anyone would ever take anything he says as the truth is beyond me. But there are a lot of fools in the Church of God who do so in spite of the fact every single thing he has predicted has failed to come to pass.

Here are his predictions from 2008.  Be aware though that in Weinland's deluded mind his god has delayed the return of its creature called "jesus"  all because the membership was not ready.


December 14, 2008: The first trumpet blew (silently).  Ron and Laura “began their jobs” while in Jerusalem after a jaunt to Cairo to tour the pyramids. 
September 19, 2009: Feast of Trumpets: The end of the zeroeth “time” or 280 days into the not-so-Great Tribulation.  With 280 days being a sign of judgment, and Ron being too sick to speak that day.
February 6, 2010: Half-a-time or 140 days after Trumpets, 2009.  The PKG members are to fast, but only for one day.  Ron promises another barn-burner borer of a sermon this day.
June 26, 2011: Time.  Earliest that the European beast power will become active.
November 13, 2011: Time and half-a-time 
April 2, 2011: Times 
August 20, 2011: Times and half-a-time.  Latest that the European beast power becomes active. 
January 7, 2012: Time and Times.  The 200-million-man Asiatic horde army might not become active until this time.  Yet somehow they will be able to assemble, arm, and mobilize this army of unprecedented size in less than 140 days and have it in place in the valley of Megiddo for the last few days of the Great Tribulation 
May 22, 2012 at sunrise in Jerusalem: Ron and Laura are killed in the streets of Jerusalem 
May 26, 2012: End of Time, Times, and Half-a-Time: Day before Pentecost.  Jesus Christ to return at sundown which ends this day and begins Pentecost. 
May 27, 2012: Ron and Laura having been resurrected from the streets of Jerusalem begin their new jobs as rulers in God’s Kingdom. False Prophet Ron Weinland

13 comments:

James said...

Like Herb, you have to be wrong before your right...

Anonymous said...

I feel a migraine coming on.Nuttiness continues.And you must be nutti to follow these folks.And yet a sucker is born every minute.And mankind will continue to produce these types of individuals until the end of time.And those who follow them.What is it in our makeup that produces these people and those who follow?Quick pass me another drink.

k-baradanikto said...

Didn't all those things happen?

Hoss said...

Didn't all those things happen?

Yes, on the planet htraE, all noR's predictions happened.

Miguel de la Rodente said...

Way back in prehistoric times, in the old Radio Church of God days, we imagined that being in what we had been programmed to believe was "God's Church" would gradually straighten out the freak show people, just as we imagined that we all would become refined from our own type and size of coal into diamonds. Never, did we ever visualize that the freakiness in certain ones would progress, much the same as does an alcoholic's disease, and that the freakiest and most offbeat would end up seizing power, drawing followings to themselves, and riding the remains of the movement downward to its final demise. It's not as if any of the leaders of any of the splinter groups were ever seen as being normal or well adjusted, and that begins with someone who never could speak for more than 15 minutes before introducing the topic of masturbation into his lectures.

Wackiness is just a matter of degree in the splinters. Certainly LCG members don't get to look down on Weinlad's followers, or Pack's people on PCG. There is no sane and rational ACoG group that produces happy, well adjusted families with a sense of humanity and vested interest in the greater community. People who were not damaged prior to entry become damaged as a result of their time and brainwashing in these churches. That's just the way it is.

Anonymous said...

Indeed in earlier times suckers were born every minute for Armstrongism. Now, however, it seems that suckers must literally be friggin' born into it, cuz lord knows looking for suckers who weren't born into it is like looking for hen's teeth. Few and far between indeed. Just ask Vic Kubik. And most of those intended suckers who are born into it don't seem to stay suckers like they're supposed to, god damn them!

So Armstrongism is still suckling off the teats of suckers that were borne literally of Herbert Armstrong's preaching and/or the fraction of their progeny who heretofore haven't been so fortunate as to perceive Armstrongism for the garbage that it is. And he has been dead now, lo, these thirty years. And nobody's getting any younger. And methodological naturalism is taking sure strides forward, in the face of which religions are retreating. Rising tides lifts all boats. Retreating tides do the opposite. You don't have to be a doubly-blessed prophet to guess the future of Armstrongism is grim.

Anonymous said...

"People who were not damaged prior to entry become damaged as a result of their time and brainwashing in these churches. That's just the way it is"

This is so true, even though after growing up in the Church, leaving, and then for some unknown reason, actually returning in my adulthood. I have since left, but it feels like something is still not alright sometimes in your head. But, it takes time to fully recover. Don't worry I am actually normal, it just is hard sometimes to process thru the clutter Armstrongism puts in your head, especially for those in groups like PCG, RCG, etc.

itstimecog said...

This begs the question; who are those you refer to as dumb and dumber? Are they the two witchcraft enthusiasts or those who follow them?

DennisCDiehl said...

Nicely spoken Miguel

Anonymous said...

BB, read you were doing a jam session. Not sure on which thread you wrote it, so I'm responding here, and here's a jam session I came across that you'd like. Not all as polished as David and the Dorks, but the raw quality's there. Heck, I'll even make it clickable 4U:
The Perro Sessions, 1971

Byker Bob said...

Thanx 6:02. Very Cool and mellow.

As for the jam session, my buddy is really into Metallica. From the listening I've done, it sounds as if they are into chord inversions and power chords, like a lot of classic rock. So, I think I'll be OK, and we'll have a good session. But, it's vastly different from the Marshall Tucker stuff I've been working on lately. What a challenge that is! How did Toy Caldwell ever get his sound thumb picking a Gibson 335 or Les Paul and running through his Fender Twin without any effects?

BB

Anonymous said...


“Ron and Laura Weinland: Dumb and Dumber”


You can call Ron and Laura Weinland dumb and dumber, but the dumbest of all is those who send them money to help spread their wrong prophetic guesses that keep on failing continually.

Anonymous said...

BB, if you need to learn how to shred, Paul Gilbert has his "Get Out Of My Yard" Guitar Instructional on Youtube. I have a funny back-story about that and my lame need to drop-names. Several years ago, I made a torrent on a private tracker. That tracker eventually opened to the public where anyone could see it and then take it, no registration or pass needed. So, it went from just 27 people who snatched it over the course of a few months to 1,200 within a week. After six months, it was around 17,000. That's when this troll in the comments section showed up claiming it wasn't the whole DVD and was stirring up trouble and stuff. Eventually, I got an email from someone claiming that he is a lawyer who was speaking on behalf of Paul Gilbert. By that time, the torrent was snatched by around 25,000. For a few days, I was scared about receiving a subpoena for court on the grounds for copy-right infringement. But then he said he was just jerking my chain and that he actually is Paul Gilbert. He also said that he was glad that so many people got it, because maybe we can save rock-n-roll from dying out.

DBP
ps: the funny thing is that my torrent is a few minutes longer