You only need to listen to about 3 minutes of this to remember how Armstrongism uses "conversion"
as it's favorite weapon of mental destruction. What better way to destroy a life of a hurting person than to spit out:
"You're UNCONVERTED and because of that God has removed ALL blessings from you!"
as it's favorite weapon of mental destruction. What better way to destroy a life of a hurting person than to spit out:
"You're UNCONVERTED and because of that God has removed ALL blessings from you!"
"You're Problem is that You're Just Not Converted"
Occurring within all religions, the phenomenon called "conversion" is, in reality, nothing more than mind-control, programming, or brainwashing to achieve the desired compliance. All Christian organizations use the idea of conversion in one way or another to amass followers of a particular persuasion.In my own experience, it ended up exchanging the idea that my previous beliefs were wrong for new ideas on who and what Jesus said or didn't say about this or that topic. It had a bit to do also with first seeing and then admitting to my absolute sinful state of being, no matter how nice a guy or well behaved a kid I had been in reality. Any "good" I could come up with was labeled as "filthy rags" according to the rather wacked out Jeremiah, I believe. I think it was also Jeremiah who declared my heart was "deceitful above ALL things and desperately wicked", and was such a worthless and duplistic vessel that it needed converting, or all hope was lost. This conversion was evidenced by my repentance from tons of stuff I really hadn't practiced to any great degree, you know, jealousy, anger, lust and greed, but never the less, I was full of it and to say I was really just a nice kid looking for the truth was proof of my depraved self in spiritual denial. So upon repentance from "God's holy and righteous law", which Paul, I later learned either was for or against depending, I was admitted into the club of the converted. I was 19 years old, well within the ages of between 10 and 25 where the majority of humans who go through this experience, have it.
After the initial conversion from the bad me to the God now in me through the Holy Spirit so I could be like Jesus, me, it was a life of overcoming and becoming "perfect like my heavenly Father was perfect." Yikes, no challenge there, so I was never good enough as were none of my friends. Actually no one ever made that grade and you don't know anyone who is anywhere near that either. But that challenge does manage to keep the sheep in a constant stage of "not good enough", compliant and open to the suggestions of those possessing the superior and more mature spirituality...yeah right.
"Conversion" is an artificial, deleterious state induced in a submissive person by a self-serving religious leader." The Psychology of Religion, Dr. Edwin D. Starbuck
Dr. Starbuck went on to note "The essence of 'conversion' is the induction of a state of mere feeling which, when it has passed, leaves no spiritual improvement and often results in the subject feeling like a victim. Frequently the experience is so humiliating after the fact that the subject rejects not only the "conversion," but anything having to do with religion." I guess my writing this is proof enough of that reality. Sometimes well meaning types try to convince me that if I joined their church, I would have a much superior experience but let me tell you that there is no such thing as only half opened eyes when it comes to lessons learned this way. Once experienced, the eyes are wide open to even the well meaning, yet marginally informed good intentions of others.
In the last days of my ministry, it had become rather expected of the ministry to involve the men in the then flourishing Promise Keepers movement. I resisted noting that I was not about to stand in a group of 100,000 guilt ridden, shame driven and fear guided middle age men, listening to any Grand Poopa force them to their knees in another round of heartfelt repentance, blah blah. Besides, it was too much trouble to go potty in a group that large. I did not attend when ministers in the area got together to go to Washington or Atlanta and I sure as hell was not going for the special minister revivals. Nothing worse than weeping ministers trying to get that old feeling back they had when they first got tricked into thinking what they knew at 22 was all there was to know about things theological. Even though I publicly told my minister friends and elders that Promise Keepers was a bit suspect, archaic in it's approach to women, and would be history in three years, I was viewed as not being at team player, marginalized and finally not considered worth keeping in the organization. Don't weep for me. I wanted out at the time and just did not know how to walk away from something I always thought I was supposed to be doing. It's not a light thing getting fired by God ;)
At any rate, Promise Keepers tanked in less than two years, I was right and they still came out the winners because they were doing the "converted" thing by attending and I was not. Promise Keepers was as much a control mechanism as any 19th revival ever was. Women should rejoice that it did not spread any further than it did or you'd not be able to tell the difference between your life and that of the women under the Taliban.
Those who subject themselves to the conversion rules of a particular denomination, group or belief are always liable by the controllers for not being "converted enough." This is a phrase they will hear, along with having experienced a false conversion should you ever be found not to be towing their particular line. It's control rearing it's ugly head again, and they may not even know they are doing it. Or they may. A basic rule to live by is any time any group makes you feel in any way that you are not "good enough," it's not you, though you will be made to feel it is all you. Just leave. Anytime your conversion or lack of it is tied to your not being healed of this or that malady even though the Church or ministry has prayed for you etc, just leave. It's not you, it's them.
Anytime your conversion is questioned because you simply brought up a question about doctrine, Biblical errancy, contradictions, the practices of the ministry, the way money is spent, the content of sermons that promote your guilt, shame and fear, just leave. You will not change those that wish to control you by questioning your sincerity and "conversion" to their views, and remember, all churches promote their own views of God and all ministers also use their human reasoning to do it. One of the great put downs available to the ministry against the converted Sheep is "you are just using human reasoning." Just ask them what kind of reasoning they use. Most will not be so bold to reason that their reasoning is purely of God while yours is not. Don't get me wrong, some will, but most aren't that sold on their own infallibility. It's all human reasoning unless you are willing to trust a man who tells you "God told me." I am not.
Conversion from one state of being to another is a slippery slope for many. It often involves playing on the feelings of sinfulness, unworthiness and self loathing one might have for themselves at any particular time in life. These are times when we can be most manipulated by others, especially theologically or on topics that seem to give us hope of some sort, though misplaced.
Let me give you a few observations, based on experience of what conversion is not tied to.
Conversion, enlightenment and personal growth is not based on the giving or not giving of your financial resources to support the Guru. If you want to contribute to building a grand edifice to the organization or the man who started it, that's your choice, but if your giving and the amount you give is tied to your sincerity, loyalty, devotion or conversion to the group, then leave. It is not. Any church or minister that checks up on the amount of money you freely give before promoting or even including you, is a spiritual bastard having his own conversion issues. Ok, he's also just a regular bastard too.
Conversion is not based on numbers. Just because a church has four services a day and boasts thousands of members, is no indication of any inner peace or spirituality you will gain from joining it. I predict that many people will drop memberships at mega churches for this very reason. They are too filled with busy work, self promotion and glitz to be meaningful for the inner person. They perspire you instead of inspire you. I predict a return to smaller churches, closer to home where you do not have to even go near the damn interstate.
Conversion is not based on how often you participate in this or that "proof of your loyalty" activity. Just say no, I can't go. If your not giving four hours of service a weekend to make church work is a measure of your conversion or lack of it, walk away and reclaim your inner spirituality. If you don't have time to spend during the week helping the minister do his job, yet will never be an elder if you don't, hold your ground. If you think you have no life now, just let yourself get ordained into obligatory conversion activities and see how depressed you get. You'll burn out anyway in time and then be labeled "unconverted" when you leave exhausted and rankled.
Conversion is not related to your knowing or not knowing the details of your churches doctrines or beliefs. Remember, they are all just beliefs and beliefs are based on opinions and ideas about what this or that person or group thinks something means. There is NO ONE AND ONLY TRULY CORRECT, GOD LOVES US THE MOST CHURCH OF GOD on this planet. We are way too divided and not one body we, no matter what the song says. Coupled with the idea that Jesus never thought to start a new movement or Church and the Apostle Paul introducing a cosmic Christ in place of any real Jesus he never met, pretty much eliminates your being in the one true pure, true church. And where did those 12 disciples go any way?
Conversion is not connected to what anyone else thinks of you, your understanding, your skepticism or your caution in following those that declare themselves to be God's representatives on earth. We have had our Jones Towns and Wacos to keep us alert to where people can be lead. There are thousands of churches with unstable ministers and messages that are accidents waiting to happen...again. I can list several, but I spare you. Count the number of times a minister uses the word "I" in his sermons and if it is more than three times, walk away. Ok, well at least it should be less than 100 times. Well no, 50. You judge. Ministers that appoint themselves as the Watchers for God, Apostles of the End Times, or one of the Two Witnesses need mental health counselors, not congregations. Ministers that mind your business more than you get to should be avoided, as well as ministers and churches that seem to have no one besides themselves to be accountable to.
Conversion is not a lot of things but several things it is would be things like personal, meaningful, private, inner, calming, encouraging and hopeful. An even more mature approach is that conversion can also be called enlightenment. En-Lighten-ment...to make lighter or to make lights go on. Too much of what passes as fundamentalist Christianity and truth actually shuts off the flow and turns off the lights. It is that kind of conversion experience we should seek to avoid so as not to have spend years in recovery from religion gone sour.If all else fails when some asks you what Church you belong to, just tell them you are Non-Condemnational and you will enjoy both their puzzled look and your new found freedom from the kind of conversions, so called, that are meant to control, discourage and keep one in the box of never being good enough. I love the bumper sticker that says "Born Right the First Time." Hmmmmm, maybe that's the answer!
Dennis C. Diehl
