Obedient Church of God: Helen Keller and Shrek Are Satanists!

Did you know that Helen Keller and Shrek are Satanists?  Did you  know that George Bush, Queen Elizabeth and Obama are Satanists too?  What about Amy Grant and Celine Dion?  Yep, Satanists too!

Thanks to those fine folk at Obedient Church of God (Thanks Herbert Armstrong!) it can now be revealed that many world leaders are Satanists.

Helen Keller developed the hand sign for American Sign Language to be this:

According to OCOG this is a sign for Satan worshipers, therefore Helen Keller was a Satan worshiper.

Since the Hook 'em hand sign for the Texas Longhorns is similar, they too are all Satanists:

It continues to boggle my mind that Armstrongites can be soooooooooooo gullible and freely fall for this bullshit as if it was true and necessary for salvation.  It's no wonder Armstrongism has no credibility any more.

You can read this nonsense here and even watch an equally idiotic video: It's WORSE Than You Know!

Obedient Church of God on "Sinisters" and the Turkey-god

Those delusional folk in Obedient Church of God are back with more mind-numbing stupidity.  Lawrence Nowell has up several sermon tapes railing against all kinds of sins present in the Churches of God.

Lawrence Nowell is that mentally disturbed COG splinter cult minster that proclaimed he and his cult were ready to KILL the sabbath breakers, pork eaters and all around heathens, to help bring forth what he thinks is the kingdom of God.  See: The Obedient Church of God Ready To Kill The Disobedient


He is particularly incensed right now in those pathetic Armstrongites that worshiped the Turkey-god on Thanksgiving day.  He is also ticked off at COG ministers so much so that he calls them "Sinisters."

I also have a feeling this is the nut job that James Malm is getting some of his filth from.  Nowell is all about New Moons, and other silliness that Malm is promoting.  Malm has not yet bought into the sacred names baloney that Nowell uses..

A reader here sent me the link to his latest sermon.  If you want to hear 2 hours of the stupidest sermon you will ever hear, take a listen to this one.  Dave Pack and Weinerdude Wienland pale in comparison!

You will just love how he sings along with the music recordings at the beginning of the video. 

Nowell talks about Sky-father day,  Mother-goddess day and Turkey -god day.

 50.)           There is such duplicity in the Churches of God; duplicity because the Churches of God offshoots say that you can’t celebrate Christmas because it has pagan roots. Then they say, oh, you can celebrate Turkey-god Day. Well, Turkey-god Day has pagan roots whether you say so or not; Turkey-god Day goes back 4,000 years to Ra-Osiris who sprang forth from the egg laid by the Cosmic Goose, whether you say so or not.

51.)            If you say you are doing it [having a Thanksgiving Day Dinner] in honor of God, that is exactly the same as you saying you are doing Christmas in honor of God. You can’t do that; it is a pagan day.

52.)            All day long on November 22, 2012, on your radio it will be Harvest Home this and Harvest Home that. It is a pagan day and the President spares a turkey on that day. Why a turkey? Why doesn’t the President spare a lamb on Passover? It is because they broadcast a day and everybody else to celebrate Turkey-god Day coming up on November 22^nd. So give your head a shake. Or else you can celebrate Christmas. 

53.)            Whether you say it [Thanksgiving Day] is a pagan day or not, it doesn’t matter because when you are dead and gone, it will be 4001 years that it has been a pagan day. 

55.)            So if the other Churches of God want to have duplicity, and say it is just fine to have Turkey-god Day, or Mother-goddess Day to your dear sweet mother, or Sky-Father’s Day for your dear father when God says that He, God the Father, created the firmament, not Sky-father on the longest day of the year, just like Christmas is the shortest day of the year.

56.)            Duplicity all of you Churches of God. Duplicity is “contradictory doubleness of thought, speech, or action,” especially underlined with deceptive words. It is deceptive when you are telling your members it doesn’t have pagan roots when it does have pagan roots. Mother-goddess Day does, Sky-Father’s Day does, Turkey-god Day does, whether you say so and lie about it or not.

57.)            And no, Bradford didn’t just have the idea pop into his head, because Bradford celebrated for three days, the same way as the Pawnee Indians who sacrificed a virgin on their “Thanksgiving,” Harvest Home Festival. Indians were just fine with having a three-day festival, and that is what Bradford had.

58.)            Even Bradford didn’t just have it pop into his mind. He brought it with him from England or Holland.

59.)            Now duplicity is the quality or state of being double-minded; it is two-fold. So if you want to speak out of both sides of your mouth and say, can’t have Christmas Day because it has pagan roots; and on the other side of your mouth you say, we’re going to have Turkey-god Day, but don’t worry about its pagan roots because we aren’t doing that. We don’t have anything to do with the pagan roots.

60.)            Well then, you can have Christmas Day because you can say the same thing about Christmas; we are not doing it for any reason. Well, God says you can’t learn the way of the Gentile; so that should settle the argument right there, unless you want to tell God that you can learn the way of the Gentile.

92.)            The unclean won’t enter in. They just won’t enter in. And you are unclean if you sacrifice to pagan gods: if you have a turkey sitting on your table, [it is the same as the goose that gave its life for its young and laid the egg from which Ra-Osiris sprang.] It is unbelievable that you would continue doing such a thing.

 

He goes on and one about how half of the Churches of God are already keeping Friday as Sabbath or will soon by because of calendar changes.

It's fascinating listening to him, out of morbid curiosity though.  Then after about 10 minutes you have to shut him off because he is soooooooooooo incredibly off the wall that you can't handle it any more.

The idea that Church of God members give this man credence shows how sick Armstrongism has really sunk to.

Ungrateful LCG Members Not Giving Enough For Church To Go Through Open Doors

In another "uplifting" message to the faithful, the Living Church of God has laid out instructions on how to Count Your Blessings.  Nothing about Jesus, but lots of Old Covenant whiners and moaners.

William Williams writes an article on being thankful for the blessings God has given us.

Of course, like any true COG leader, he starts the first paragraph off letting you know you are incapable of being thankful to God.

The first sentence lets us know we have great opportunities to thank God, but the second lets us know that we are too dumb to do it and that God is apparently going to be really, really pissed when we don't.

At Thanksgiving, we have a natural opportunity to reflect on our blessings, and to renew an “attitude of gratitude” in our lives. How important is our attitude? God expects us to be thankful, and in Scripture He left us many powerful examples of the danger of thanklessness.

He then goes on to talk about the Israelites and their whining about manna.  When they should have been thankful, they were tired of the same tasting food, day in and day out.  They whine, God gets pissed, and showers them with meat to eat till they vomit it out their nostrils.

So, how did the Israelites respond to God’s gift? They complained about its lack of variety, and asked for meat (Numbers 11:4-6). These people, who had not shown themselves willing to abide by their covenant with God, were already putting Him to the test by their complacency and ingratitude! If God could give them bread, they reasoned, why not meat? They forgot that God did not have to give them anything at all!

But God heard their complaints, and gave them what they wanted—and it was a harsh lesson in being careful what you wish for! He brought waves of quail, and fed them meat until they grew literally and physically sick of it: “You shall eat, not one day, nor two days, nor five days, nor ten days, nor twenty days, but for a whole month, until it comes out of your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you, because you have despised the Lord who is amongst you, and have wept before Him, saying, ‘Why did we ever come up out of Egypt?’” (Numbers 11:19-20). God then sent a plague to finish off those who most offensively allowed their desire for self-gratification to get ahead of their remembrance of their Deliverer (Numbers 11:33-34).

So what does this have to do with us today?  Well, God has blessed us with so much yet we are incompetent fools and ungrateful idiots.  We don't appreciate it all. (Only those in the COG can be appreciative.)

God has done something very similar for many of us today. He has allowed us to live in abundance, and blessed our nations in just about every way possible. Even when times are relatively hard, we must be careful to remind ourselves that such blessings are not shared by all, and are not guaranteed to last.

 Apparently the Living Church of God members are not up to snuff right now in being thankful and for not giving enough money to go through all those open doors before them.  Yet again, the members are too stupid and incompetent to do what God wants so the church is suffering.

When God opens a door for us, as He did for the Israelites, we show tremendous gratitude by going through it, but we often betray a profound ingratitude when we do not! We should have confidence that, as with the Israelites and early Christians before us, God will not “hand us a stone” in place of bread if we ask in gratitude and righteousness (Luke 11:10-12). But if we slap from His hand the gifts He offers, or if we simply walk away in ignorance or self-will, He might sometimes let us have a brush with a scorpion, or give His blessings to others more grateful. So, pray always that you may see—and walk through—those open doors (Philippians 4:6)!

 Then to close the letter, Williams writes that while Thanksgiving might be OK, but just be aware it is a human  made holiday invented by pagans.  Only the enlightened ones in LCG and certain COG's know about those other special days that they think still are required.

Although Thanksgiving is a natural occasion for us to reflect on our attitude of gratitude, it is a holiday invented by mankind. God Himself has given His people an annual series of Holy Days that are even more meaningful, yet have rarely been practiced. Those Holy Days are true gifts from God. If you want to know more, please write or call for our free booklet, The Holy Days: God’s Master Plan, and learn about how God’s Holy Days can change everything you ever knew or thought about “the holidays,” and show you what most to be thankful for.