The Shameful Practice of "Disfellowshipment" in the Churches of God

One of the more appalling "traditions" in Armstrongism has been the practice of shunning, or in Armstrongite speak - disfellowshipment.

Families have turned their backs on other family members.  Long held friendships evaporated over night.  People would meet each other in stores and turn their backs and walk away.  Others would cross the street if they saw former friends walking down the street towards them.

I saw this over and over in the Dayton, Ohio church and especially in Pasadena where disfellowshipments were a weekly occurrence, as people were deliberately shamed from the pulpit by vengeful ministers. Even more revolting is when these jerks stood up there and said this was being done out of "love" and it was to be a time for the person to reflect upon whatever they had done wrong. Never had a disfellowhipment in the Church of God ever been done out of love.  Its main purpose was to instill fear into the wayward member that their eternal salvation was now at risk.  They had lost their chance to go to Petra and eventually into the Kingdom of God.

This is not something unique to us, but is also a tool of oppression in other Millerite cults.

Checkout this article from a Jehovahs Witness on the vile tradition in their own group which is exactly like I have seen COG members do to their own family members.

This is a picture of my dad eating. He had just made lunch for me, but he couldn’t eat it with me. I had to eat it at another table with my four-year-old son while he sat there away from me.

Why? Because that’s what the Watch Tower Society tells him to do.

I posted this picture on a Facebook forum October 26, 2013. The first response I received was, “Don’t know what to say. This boggles the mind; mind-control religion at its very worst!”

Minutes later a flood of comments and “Likes” followed, reminding me that a good picture can easily replace a thousand words.

For those of you who are curious, I must explain that my extended family began shunning me a year ago after I questioned the authority of the Watchtower’s Governing Body. My family’s unanimous well-meaning response to my doubts was by expressing their opinion that I “must be an apostate” and “severe shunning would surely bring me to my senses.”

After my mother died eight months ago, my dad, being all alone, went to the elders in the congregation he attended to see if he’d be allowed to visit with me. They said that since I was his son, he could visit with me at his house. But he could not discuss religion – nor could he share a meal with me at the same table.

Two weeks ago, I called my dad and asked if his grandson and I could visit him. He said “yes” and even offered to make lunch. But shortly before serving the meal, he said that he wasn’t going to sit at the same table with us. When I asked why, his reply was, “The organization says so.”

That confession allowed me to vent my feelings for maybe thirty minutes, describing to him about the harm caused by shunning and other Watchtower policies. He listened politely. But I could see that he was not in a “cognitive dissonance mode” – so nothing I said registered with him.

After I spoke my piece, he served a nice meal to me and my son. Then he chose to sit alone in a small area of the kitchen with his back turned to us while eating his lunch. I sat there speechless, trying to figure out what was going on in his mind.  Shameful Shunning in a Thousand Word

You can read here how the JW's justify why they do it, and it is just as sick as the COG excuses.

Why Disfellowshipping Is a Loving Provision

Living Church of God even feels they can "mark" you even if you are not a member of their group.

Here is what Dexter Wakefield has to say on it:

Can a person who is not a member of the Living Church of God be disfellowshipped? No. Can a person who is not a member of the Living Church of God be “marked?” Yes. So there is a difference in the two. Can you explain what it is?  Disfellowhipping and Marking

21st Century Foot-washing Ceremony For COG Leaders

"BUT, he was the one God had chosen, and he had to accept that, and submit to God’s will. "

This post ties in with the previous post on the Branch Davidians.  This is a quote by Neil Godfrey of the Vridar blog. Neil is a former Worldwide Church of God member who runs an excellent blog on "Musings on biblical studies, politics, religion, ethics, human nature, tidbits from science."

It’s a story of dashed idealism, sordid and cruel moments, the power of belief, and too much that I can personally relate to. I watched the TV mini-series on the Waco story late last year and, as I expected, found myself too easily able to identify with some of the followers. My experience was with the Worldwide Church of God. Not that that was my only experience with religion, but it was the one that echoed aspects of the Branch Davidians history. 

One moment in the movie that left me shaking my head in all too believable “disbelief” was when one of the most loyal followers of Dave Koresh was challenged by an outsider pointing to some of Koresh’s blatant moral failings. With unshakable faith the loyal follower replied that he wished with all his being that God had chosen anyone else except Vernon Howell (who took the name Dave Koresh) to be his prophet because he could scarcely imagine a less likeable person, . . .  BUT, he was the one God had chosen, and he had to accept that, and submit to God’s will. 

How often did the ministry in the Worldwide Church of God, especially the upper leadership, find opportunities to preach the message of King David, a “man after God’s own heart”, chosen by God, and David’s moral failings, his adultery, his murders, made no difference. Those who rebelled against this David when he was getting older and losing his grip on the kingdom were the ones led by Satan against “God’s anointed”.

The hypocrisy, the self-serving message, it’s all sickening in hindsight. But that’s how many of us were. If it hadn’t been the Armstrongs I suppose in another time and place it could have been Vernon Howell and it could have been me there. The one “saving grace” for the Worldwide Church of God was that it’s top leader was old and had no desire to give up his comforts or put himself in any serious physical risks. Those things come so much more easily to one in his early 30s. (For a number of years we were seriously expecting our leader to be given a vision or sign that would be the signal for us to “flee” to a “place in the wilderness”.)  Waco (the background story)