Kevin Owen Dean: One of his victims speaks out

Please see the comment  entry in the article listed below:

Kevin Owen Dean: New Arrest Warrant Issued

Dave Pack's "If you are thinking of leaving"

In the Church of God, Respect was never earned, nor built as trust is.

I can remember very clearly the adoration and respect I, at one time had for ministers of the Worldwide Church of God. 

When Raymond F. McNair - the very one who began the generations of Worldwiders in my Family Tree on a baptism tour - walked into the Arena while I was setting up the floor on Set-Up Day - I was in awe. It could have been, in today's references to teenagers of today - Miley Cyrus, Beyonce, or J-Lo walking in for all I knew. I didn't dare approach him - but my day was made when he made eye contact, nodded his head in a polite "hello", and - in suit and tie, carrying a leather portfolio - and moved on to what I'm sure was a Department Head or Ministerial Meeting of some sort. After all, to me - this man was an Evangelist of Jesus Christ - right under the Pastor General. It was as if an air of holiness had entered the room in my perception. 

Certainly, I was not the only one who was impressed with this sort of idolization of Worldwide Ministers during its heyday. Of course, because I was involved in an extreme-fundamentalist family within Armstrongism, my emotions were imbalanced to a higher level of idolatry then if I was in a more balanced family (and there were many more balanced families within Armstrongism then mine). It wasn't just Raymond F. McNair, though. It was a mandated order of respect for any and all individuals who had ecclesiastical authority over me. Starting with the Deacons and Deaconesses, to the Local Church Elders and Local Elders, to the Associate Pastors/Assistant Pastors/Preaching Elders or Pastors, then of course, to the Evangelists, and finally, to the Pastor General. Each one having a little more respect because of my belief they each had a little bit higher of a portion of the Holy Spirit because of their position. 

In the Church of God, Respect was never earned, nor built as trust is. Respect was treated as commiserate with rank - not because of your character and spirituality - but because or rank, position, and authority. Respect was not based on who you were as a person, but what you were in the government. 

You could have been the most asinine, misogynist, arrogant, rude, caustic, pompous, cold-hearted authority figure of any position and rank within the Church - but still have gained respect based only on their role in government. Add the title "Deacon" to such a person and you have an asinine, misogynist, arrogant, rude, caustic, pompous, cold-hearted Man of God who God will eventually straighten out but still must be respected and obeyed because of his rank and government position within the Church. Add the title "Elder" to such a person and your level of respect multiplies ten-fold, and so-on down the government line. I'm not saying everyone held to such a yes-man way of thinking - there were plenty of independent-minded members (and youth) within the Church who could see through the bull and flush it in their heads to clear thinking. But I, and others, did think this way, admittedly detrimentally. Yet, that does not change the fact that even for those types, respect was still demanded - even if not always returned on that demand. 

But was that even respect that was demanded? I would say that it was not respect in its true form. 

According to Google, respect is "a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.". 

In most cases, what qualities did ministers possess? Let me rephrase this. What good and excellent qualities did most of the ministers possess? What achievements did most of the ministers possess? What abilities did most of the ministers possess? 

Were ministers respected for their abilities, their qualities, or their achievements - or were they respected for their position, rank, and prestige? Is there a difference between what real respect is - and what we defined respect as? 

While looking at "respect" I came across an article on respect from - of all things - a real estate writing (and Herb was in the Real Estate business, was he not?) and in it was this:(bolding not mine, and no, I'm not calling people in the Church shallow or pretentious, though it could apply to some, we all know that.)

Work On Earning Real Respect Versus False Respect.
We all want to be respected. There is even a famous Aretha Fanklin song R-E-S-P-E-C-T. It is earned by people watching and admiring your deemed honorable actions. In real estate it is your competence, your helpfulness, your great communication skills. In the world there is your sense of service, duty, honor, integrity, and values. For both real estate respect and general life respect I would say they have in common this trait
              CHARACTER.
The false respect I see in real estate and the world has to do with adulation and being impressed by your "status." Top agent or teams in an office that are top producers with money or recognition. In the world celebrity status due to fame or money and in the athlete world some kind of superstar athlete who can crush the baseball or score 40 points in a single basketball game. You know, Hollywood stars types.
This type of false respect comes about by shallow, pretentious people who are in awe of the status rather than one's character. FALSE RESPECT.
They are sycophants as followers who want to profit by association. Hangers on. Groupies if you will. They are seeking "opportunity" for themselves and in the friend world are called false friends. Kind of goes along with false respect.  Times get tough, situation of the superstar or celebrity or dream team REALTOR team changes, opportunities not there anymore, guess who is the first out the door? The sycophants.
Work on honorable character in yourself to get respected by others. In those YOU respect look for CHARACTER, good character, not an illusion that once you dig down a layer or two into a person's being there is nothing there. Fluff.

Let me just substitute "Religion" or "Ministry" for Real Estate - or "COG Ministers". I think that this makes my point clear concerning respect - that what I had for these people - and many other had for the ministry - was, and is, false respect - given by people who were in awe of the ministry's status. And the "character" of the Ministry was ignored in favor of the "status" of the ministry. In fact, in my opinion, those who ended up as ministers sometimes had the worst character of any people in the Church - but- they could speak, with a silver tongue and lying lips. What the ministry had, and has - is status. And in a rank-conscious, hierarchy which places extreme importance on status and rank in conjunction with reward - it is those who had the least character who were able to claw their way to the top. 

What I had - and many of us had - and many still in the Church still have - is false respect. A respect that ignores character in favor of status. A respect that focuses on what their position is instead of the fruits of who they are. A respect that looks down on honorable character, deception, dishonesty, and lies in favor of rank, authority, power, and title. It is this false respect that is craved by some of the most "senior" COG splinter leaders out there, who completely lack good character for the illusion that replaces the fluff and lack of substance that truly defines who they are. It is this "respect" that many members have been taught to believe is true respect. And it is this false respect that binds people in a certain level of fear that blinds them to the powerless humans that these COG splinter leader deceivers really are. 

When you come down to it, what is truly important isn't the rank, level, title, or position of some COG leader, self-appointed or not, or the adulation of such. What's truly important is their character - the only thing that can truly earn true respect from someone. That character that is in line with the Fruits of the Spirit. 

What's the final thought on this? Simply this.

Saying "God will take care of it", and enabling false respect to those who disrespect respect through their carnal and world based, status-oriented, greed-centered, authority-based individuals masquerading as servants of God isn't doing anyone any good, whether it's you or the minister. Paying people (through tithes) for their self-professed status only purports the evil within that they exude. You're an accessory to their evil. The power they claim is only enabled by those who support them. Without those who continually feed their narcissistic, self-centered, greedy, filthy lives - what do they have left? The question has to be - do they have good, decent character and qualities and achievements to fall back on? Have they really built true respect - or are you simply supporting a lying, narcissistic bully who has commandeered your paycheck in dishonest gain for their own petty and pathetic lives of dishonest gain and false respect?

by SHT