There are two terms I have heard over the years that always cut to my heart and left me with my own personal recognition that I made a very bad choice in my youth to go to Ambassador College and affiliate with the Worldwide Church of God. You could not have talked me out of it at the time. But too late old and all that...
The terms were:
"Ministurd"
and
"Embarrassing College"
The first, while giving me pause for thought, I can dismiss personally for my own reasons and understanding of my own motives and care of the churches and love for the people.
The second is simply true. I was not trained in any professional way in ministry and it was and is embarrassing. My own education in ministry became the origin of my term "Mere Bible Reader" because that is how a minister was trained back in the day. That is how I was trained in ministry. The teachers were mere Bible readers themselves as was HWA and GTA who took ministry off in directions they ought not to have gone in the first place.
The ministry of the Worldwide Church of God and her daughters have never been qualified to teach the scriptures, pastor churches or be anywhere near a "helper of their joy" to its laity. While sincerely wanting to be in ministry in my early life and probably believing I was being trained At Ambassador, which in my ignorance and not having grown up in it all, I honestly thought was a seminary that was spot on, in hindsight, I was poorly and badly trained in ministry.
No one taught the basics, or probably even knew what these basics were, of:
Exegesis- to draw out extracting what is in the text the
way it was written. Finding the true meaning and explain the passages of scripture from
their context
figurative language- the moon turns
to blood (meaning red). look for the literal meaning first before attempting to interpret
it as symbolic.
Hermeneutics-The science of interpreting the written word,
to find what the text actually meant. What God originally meant it to say. Eliminating
what it never could have meant. This includes the whole field of interpretation. The use
of tools such as a different bibles (word for word translations and paraphrase), bible
dictionaries, interlinear, Greek word pictures and tenses, Concordance,etc.
Hyperbole- Ps.119:20 My soul is
crushed with longing. Luke 14:26 "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father
and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot
be My disciple." An exaggeration or overstatement not to be taken literally but used
to express another meaning.
Idiom- an expression of language or dialect of a people
that is not understood outside its culture. A special terminology.
Isogesis-Reading into a text what isn’t there.
Interpreting it by different rules than a consistent understanding from the Bible. Using a
presupposition to arrive at the meaning, by ignoring the language and culture it was used
in.
Metaphor- Jn.6:48 I am the bread of
life or eat my body and drink my blood- a figure of speech in which one object is liked to
another by speaking of it as if it were the other but in fact is not.
Parable- A figure of speech in a
story setting to illustrate a moral or spiritual or heavenly truth. Taken from the peoples
everyday experiences. Mt.13 The disciples asked why do you speak in parables. It has been
to you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given .
The principle is (Isa. 6:9-10) to reveal to those who are
soft in heart seeking truth , they will continue to be given more . For those who are hard
of heart it is hidden until they repent. In Mk.4:13 Jesus explains In understanding
this first parable of the sower is the key to understanding them all.
Simile- Rev.1:14
"His eyes were like flames of fire." A figure of speech expressing comparison or likeness, terms such as like, as ,so.
____________________
Add to this and in the realm of Higher Criticism, the actual origins of scripture, the problems of errancy in the texts, the concept of forgery nicely labeled pseudepigrapha, Midrash, Authorship issues, textural contradictions, apologetics, historical difficulties and what to do with good science done well along with many other real and important perspectives that need be addressed.
There was nothing on mental health issues or how to actually and lovingly deal with them in the congregation. They were mostly a function of demon problems evidently. (I grew up going to see my brother in a state hospital every week of my young life so was very familiar with mental health issues as well as physical handicaps, which he had)
There was nothing on proper counseling methods and approaches to problems unless disfellowshipping and marking people counts or appealing to scripture on whose the boss in the family and who definitely is not.
But is was not so. The bottom line reason was that the church was based on Herbert W. Armstrong's views of scripture and his only. HWA took unkindly to criticism or even a difficult question. He's not know the theological issue much less the answer or views to begin with.
There was never a "come let us reason together " concept that didn't end in HWA coming out on top and the reasoner being marginalized. Today PCG is based solely on Flurry's view of scripture and Pack's the same. Both are miserably mistaken and untrained in the scriptures.
The reality is that both men were never trained in ministry and are qualified only, as was myself, as a mere Bible reader. The term is not meant to be an insult but rather simply to reflect the fact that reading something does not qualify as a deep understanding of all the above concepts, problems and issues contained in it so one can rightly minister to others if that is one's desire and conviction as to where the truths of life reside.
My training in ministry and that of all WCG ministers was this with some I simply can't recall:
Year One
Harmony of the Gospels-Roderick C Meredith
He read them to us and used the time to give sermons. He knew nothing about the origins, problems with, politic and history of their formation nor taught it. It never would occur to him they were not as harmonious as he thought them to be. No discussion. (Well once I did ask a question but lived to regret it)
Speech 1
Glorified Spokesman's Club with grades
Old Testament Survey-David John Hill
Old Testament read to us like story time before bed. We had to read the boring parts on our own and verify that we did. No discussion
English Lit Class
I have no idea what that class was about or what was being taught.
We did have a Japanese instructor once there who invited a guest speaker and ask us, and this is the real way it came out, "Preese, no crapping in crass" We complied and did not crap in the crass. That came later during scandalous and drama filled times to come in ministry.
Music Appreciation-Lucy Martin
Required by HWA for our refinement I suppose. I had no clue or cared. Beyond boring
Principles of Living/ Missing Dimension in Sex
Don't get me started
Year Two
Second Year Bible
The Genesis Flood by Whitcomb and Morris
(This is the class Dave Pack refers to when he claims that he studied evolution in detail 50 years ago)
We had to outline the entire book. No discussion, no questions and the teacher had no clue about the terrible science and geological insanity it presented and was already debunked in the real world of such topics.
World History-Roy Schultz
A terribly inaccurate review of world history as presented from Genesis 1 to Genesis 11
Speech Class
Glorified Spokesman's Club with grades
Chemistry-Doug Winnail
"Isn't creation amazing" No chemistry learned, no homework thank God and it was kindergarten compared to my Hight School Advanced Placement Chemistry
Other stuff I can't recall
Year Three
Third Year Bible-Someone
More Bible reading
Science Something-Ken Hermann
World History-Dr. Hermann Hoeh
"Huh?"
Dr. Hoeh would simply start talking about the Bronze Age or something with no context, no background, no point and no reason I could perceive. I don't recall a final exam but if there was one I returned the favor I'm sure.
Year Four
Fourth Year Bible-George Kemnitz
Epistles of Paul
Church Letters
Maybe Revelation
No discussion, no questions, just more Bible reading with commentary
(George later became the Regional Director in Chicago and brought me from Minneapolis to Chicago along with Dave Pack . I was his man Friday and yes I mowed lawns, babysat kids and was chided for leaving the sauna or going through a door before him. Miserable year and I got fired the first time in the "Great East Coast Rebellion" by association. Should have stayed fired.
4th Year Speech
Only for those going into ministry "maybe" This was decided by men of power later in the year and announced to the couple out of the blue in a public forum.
Glorified Spokesman's Club with more grades.
Some other unmemorable classes
That's it! Add to this weekly sermons and Bible studies by the untrained as well and I was good to go evidently. I moaned inside when HWA showed up because we all know what the topic would be again. I moaned more when Gerald Waterhouse showed up.
"Refresher Programs for Ministry"
Weeks long sessions being flown into Pasadena to hear the men of power speak to us all over again.
It had potential to mature the ministry but fell far short due to really being brought out to check on the loyalty of the ministry and keep them all speaking the same wrong things on behalf of HQ.
Leroy Neff spent four hours in one session on "Marriage" by reading and commenting on EVERY scripture on Marriage from Nave's Topical Bible. I felt he did not prepare properly! lol
We also started to talk about oral sex and the Christian but Burk McNair started by accidently saying that personally he found the topic distasteful and that was the end of it as we could not all stop laughing. No edict was issued when the RD of the French Churches noted that if they did the entire French Church would fall away.
HWA brought up the topic of the Two Trees most times
Robyn Webber gave a talk on how we could keep our sermon topics on 3x5 cards in a file box. That was interesting...…….and well worth the 3000 mile flight to California all by itself
Bernie Schnippert preached at us in a somewhat arrogant tone and I noticed an ad in the LA Times on the floor by my feet of a Rock and Mineral Show in Long Beach that day. I feigned potty break and left for Long Beach. Great Show!
Refresher Programs were exhausting and just as shallow and compliant as Embarassing College was.
So many memories, so much time, so little training in ministry
Without common sense I'd have had no sense at all.
(Thanks Mom and Dad)
Personal regrets? Yes, of course. But that is the result of years of more drama and scandal in WCG than this boy could take. My own mental health suffered quietly through it and the conflict of my still believing it was The True Church run by fools was a difficult one to maneuver through in ministry.
My coping mechanisms were not always the best of choices. I learned the art of "Ask and you shall not have. Do not ask and all things are possible" when it came to how to pastor in real life. There were many a "snowflake from heaven" as we called HQ memos I ignored simply because they were simply stupid and many a "Must Be Played in the Churches" tapes that I did not play and hoped it would not come up. I never felt people should drive as far as they did to hear a taped sermon no matter who gave it and the "must" part of "to be played" often puzzled me as to why it was so vital I do so. Tapes mostly were meant to keep the local church in contact with the leadership in Pasadena. They worried about that connection with the locals I am sure.
All this to say that from my experience and perspective, having been there, the ministry of the Churches of God are not qualified in the actual practice of ministry and Biblical Studies much less the more practical aspects of proper counseling and care in the lives of real people with real lives.
Yes, I am an atheist and no, I did not just have a bad experience with "that Church". I did indeed attend Embarassing College and I was not trained in ministry as I know I would have had I gone to Roberts Wesleyan Seminary, which I also had been accepted to, instead of affiliating with WCG.
The ministry of the splinters is personality based and the personalities are diverse and perverse.
I believe down deep most ministers under others understand this and simply have no alternatives left to them in life. Others adopt the ridicuous and various callings they personally perceive , such as a Dave Pack, Gerald Flurry or Bob Thiel and they are simply and badly mistaken.
Some few have gone in through the years and gotten a better education in theological studies and ministry. Often they don't survive well in their Church of God choice and most aren't used to replace those that do not better inform themselves but have "Rank". That's just how it works.
Personally I am grateful that I did not continue in any splinter but choose a new path , no not the one I would have chosen as a younger man, but one that served me better and kept me away from the stress and strain of being an undertrained and over indoctrinated "ministurd" and graduate of Embarrassing College, Pasadena, California.
Thanks for listening.
Too long I know
