Sunday, November 6, 2022

Dave Pack: The Christmas Eve 2022 Miracle - Joy to the World!

 



Jingle Bells Lake of Fire

 

David C. Pack delivered a Bible study to the members of The Restored Church of God on Saturday, November 5. Part 403 of “The Greatest Unending Story!” was 87-unsurprising-minutes of, “No kidding. What else were you gonna do?”

 

Well, he did go outside the box a tad by not declaring Cheshvan 15 as his next red circle on the calendar. Some of us lost big-time in the Prophecy Pool.

 

To make up for that, complete the pattern and win a prize.

 

Tammuz 1

Av 1

Elul 1

Tishrei 1

Cheshvan 1

Kislev __?

Tevet __?

 

You do not need to be a non-prophet/non-psychic to figure out that puzzle.

 

This weekend, a David C. Pack message was as predictable as the scheduled time change. He plays hopscotch with the scriptures going back and forth between “no man knows the day and the hour” to knowing the day and the hour and then back again. Copy and paste. The Packian Triad of Fraud is out of new ideas, and all they can do is recycle.

 

For the skimmers, here are the main takeaways:

 

·      The Kingdom of God arrives on Kislev 1, which starts at sunset on Thanksgiving.

·      The Day of the Lord begins on Tevet 1, which starts at sundown on Christmas Eve.

·      Something “bad” on the world scene happens before that during a vague timetable.

·      Part 404 is coming.

 

Dave’s god must be really pissed off to ruin Thanksgiving and then Christmas the same year. However, if you make it to Best Buy on Black Friday, chances are you will not need to break up your caroling group.

 

 

David C. Pack is now officially marked as BORING.

 

To show the level of cruelty inside RCG right now, they opted to force members from around the world to be subject to a Livestream. Due to the boring nature of Dave's boring message, he was determined to bore the entire church to tears at the same time. I hope that some congregations muted his audio on the computer, opened a new tab, and watched the new “Weird Al” Yankovic biopic instead.

 

@ 00:10 A simple question opens tonight. This is gonna be some pretty powerful understanding. But, I really think the best way to open with a simple question. Maybe I should've asked this question long ago. If I told you that I'd been studying, which you'd always believe, and you have three years to wait or three days to wait for Christ and the Kingdom, would you wait no matter which?

 

Dave has a tough time just spitting it out. In Spokesman's Club, we learned to not say, "I want to ask you a question.” Just. Ask. The. Question.

 

Having acquired my Master's Degree in Dave Whispering, I thank Mr. William H. Behrer, III, for providing tapes to help me achieve that. I can take that 30-second statement and break it down to the atomic level.

 

Unnecessary set-up. Projecting the desired perception. Self-supporting the repetition of an unnecessary set-up. Pointless aside. Self-congratulation with the desired response from others. Finally, the real question. No wonder his messages are so long and hard to follow.

 

@ 01:13 How many would say, “I’ve waited for years already. I'd wait another three days." Here's what I would say to those who would wait three days. Because ya'll know we're not gonna wait three years. “Don’t bother. You’re not involved. It has no application to you. If you wouldn’t wait three years or thirty years, don’t bother to wait. Because you’re not committed, and you're not gonna go first. You're not involved.”

 

Dave does a prophetic fake-out by misleading the audience into thinking he was going to announce Cheshvan 15 but waits for 47-minutes to give the real New New Last Last Last Opportunity in 2022. Kislev 1, which falls on Thanksgiving.

 

@ 01:51 Now, more than ever, I can tell you this: Salvation will come in November 2022.

 

Fool me once, shame on…shame on you. It fooled me but can’t get fooled again. Unless you are in RCG.

 

@ 03:03 Every last bit of that picture was settled and still is settled. As I said last time, this framework can no longer change. It’s settled. We can trust all the scriptures that hold it in place.

 

There is a curious phenomenon of “settled doctrine” inside RCG that keeps getting reworked to make the certain impossible and the inarguable dismissed.

 

Part 374 – June 8, 2022

@ 1:32:49 So, if it’s true that I am Elijah the Prophet now, then this is a lock for next week. It’s an absolute lock.

 

 

Part 403 – November 5, 2022

@ 04:58 And we’re gonna take a look at why I can say November with certainty.

 

The only certainty David C. Pack can provide is that he will fail again. Part 404 and 405 and 406 and 407 and 408+ are in our future. Those are a certainty. But you already knew that.

 

Embarrassing flashback alert:

 

Part 297 – March 17, 2021

@ 32:45 Are these all just, “Wow, the coincidences are just lining up.” Well, we’d need the…math genius to tell us the odds that all these things are pointing to some Tuesday in August. Or some Thursday, you know, in November or something. That’s silly. It’s silly.

 

Interesting how he plucked that out of the sky as something silly. And yet, he is now teaching that very thing about a Thursday this November. Thanksgiving being Kislev 1. I cannot make that kind of stuff up.

 

@ 05:10 I made a single error on Cheshvan 1 when Christ did not arrive.

 

Oh, is that all? Telling people they will receive salvation and then it does not is just “a single error?”

 

Do you know what else is “a single error?” Serving the wrong god. Declaring yourself a prophet. Stealing the mantle of Elijah. Announcing to the brethren, "If you are here, you made it," during the Feast.

 

Some single errors have dire consequences. A single error could cause an anemic to bleed out. A fatal shooting could be the result of a single error. An abortion. An airplane crash. A divorce. Heroin addiction. Suicide. A single error can cause permanent life-changing events.

 

Believing David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God is a single substantial error.

 

@ 07:47 I probably, in retrospect, should have been more careful in the way I pointed to Cheshvan because I'm gonna show you today the absolute, utter impossibility that it could have ever been anything but Kislev.You will know beyond all shadow of a doubt that it's Kislev, and Kislev starts this month.

 

Oh, really? We have been hearing the same thing since Tammuz this year.

 

@ 08:20 I said right before Cheshvan came, “There’s no way it’s Kislev.” So, I apologize. And there’s no way it’s next year.

 

@ 09:02 But there’s a tremendous amount of evidence for Kislev. And it’s absolute…Tishrei looked like we were gonna come off of Trumpets because I was holding to what Mr. Armstrong had taught.

 

If that old coot had been more than a generous 5% correct in his prophetic understanding, Dave would not have to parade around the brethren with his buttocks exposed. But apparently, he likes it.

 

Part 385 – July 30, 2022

@ 08:26 I’m gonna prove absolutely, incontrovertibly straight out of your Bible over and over again that the only possible day for the Day of the Lord is, in fact, the Feast of Trumpets.

 

 

Dave is now pivoting off “in the midst of the year” as to why there are only two possibilities each year for the Day of the Lord. This is the split between the Civil calendar and the Sacred calendar. It is a new way to reshuffle the old deck and repeat past mistakes.

 

@ 12:10 Acts 1:6. We’re gonna begin to prove in absolute certainty that the Day of the Lord is the first day of Tevet. A month that means “Good.” And therefore, the Kingdom of God comes one month before that.

 

@ 16:13 There are only two times, and the apostles knew this when the Day of the Lord can come. And those two times are Tammuz 1 or Tevet 1. There are no other possibilities.

 

One of his significant "proofs" for all of this is Revelation 11:10. He made a big deal back in 2019 with the same logic, but this time he has the Winter Solstice and the Hebrew calendar to get fixated on. This will all lead to the same disaster for him.

 

@ 20:47 Now, if that’s true, exactly seven years after The Day of the Lord, it means, quite literally, that the Day of the Lord has to come in the Christmas season. It has to. It’s impossible.

 

This is another classic example of the most astonishingly piss-poor reading comprehension skills of David C. Pack. The same guy who outed a man at the Feast for "literally" being unable to read after the man literally read to him from his Bible.

 

Why is an antichrist serpent better versed in biblical understanding than the sometimes-Elijah Pester General of RCG?

 

Revelation 11:10

And they that dwell upon the earth shall rejoice over them, and make merry, and shall send gifts one to another; because these two prophets tormented them, that dwelt on the earth.

 

They sent gifts and rejoiced BECAUSE of the Two Witnesses. Not just coincidentally. It was not a regular time of year to send gifts, but it related directly to the two prophets dying. You can understand that if you let the Bible interpret itself. Revelation 11:10 is not talking about Christmas.

 

Dave made this same Revelation/Christmas stretch back in 2019.

 

Dave Before Christmas

 

Part 217 – November 30, 2019

@ 1:30:44 What if it’s possible with a seven-year Kingdom…that ends around Christmas, it starts around Christmas or maybe even before Christmas.

 

Part 220 – December 5, 2019

@ 57:43 The Second Kingdom, verse after verse, it makes absolutely plain the Second Kingdom, like the beginning of the Third Kingdom, comes to an end a little before Christmas. It’s just a fact!

 

However, like what will happen later this year, Dave will adjust after Santa rolls down the chimney to gobble his cookies. Stand aside and let David C. Pack defeat David C. Pack.

 

Dave After Christmas

 

Part 226 – December 28, 2019

@ 20:02 I began wondering why God would wait until after Christmas, began to explore it. But I was wondering why God would wait until after Christmas. I discovered a couple things in the Prophets showing that He was gonna wait until after Christmas…

 

Dave Poopoos Christmas

 

Part 400 – October 22, 2022

@ 1:21:01 If you wait one month, guess when God would build the Great Kingdom one month later. Christmas. Anybody think God is gonna build the Great Kingdom on Christmas? I don’t think so.

 

If Dave were correct, the people of RCG could forever sing, “Joy the world, the Lord has come.” That would go from being a pagan song to being included in the RCG Hymnal because it would be true.

 

The heathens were right, after all. The originators of Saturnalia were not creating a counterfeit. They knew thousands of years before the True Church when God would execute a vital part of His plan for mankind.

 

God revealed it to the Catholics first. It was just that those stupid Sabbath-keepers were kept in the dark this whole time.

 

If I were the devil, I would want David C. Pack to think God would fulfill a crucial part of His plan on Christmas so that even he would eventually say, “This is truly the most wonderful time of the year.”

 

“Look, Tiny Tim, a Christmas miracle! According to Dave Pack.”

 

@ 21:03 But, it just so happens that’s “the midst of the years.” The Day of the Lord, if it is this year, is Christmas Day. It literally comes on Christmas Eve. The next time that happens is 46 years from now. 2068.

 

@ 21:31 It just so happens that Christmas this year is on Tevet 1. Meaning the Day of the Lord is exactly exactly in the midst of the years on Christmas Day. Now, you ponder that.

 

And ponder it, I did.

 

The problem with Dave’s logic is that seven years from December 25, 2022, when the Two Witnesses will die and be left in the streets of Jerusalem for 3 ½ days as gifts and merry-making are to take place, does not land where he says it does. Sure, it is Tevet 1 in 2022. But…

 

I already see a single error: Tevet 1 falls on December 7, 2029. That is over two weeks from when Revelation 11:10 shows people "celebrating Christmas," according to him.

 

Dave tries a sleight of hand to say it is the “Christmas season” and “Christmas time” in 2029, but that invalidates the logic of Revelation 11:10 that he opened with. He pulled a switcheroo before your eyes. 

 

Gift-giving happens on Christmas, not during the Christmas season. Sorry, Dave. It took me a whole 30 seconds to find the hole in your theory. You cannot have it both ways. A Christmas tradition taking place two weeks before Christmas to fulfill Revelation prophecy does not fly.

 

Only after folks go home or digest this information can the current members of RCG prove for themselves that this “proof” fails before their coffee gets cold.

 

 

@ 33:57 They had to move away from the nakedness of keeping Christmas exactly on the Saturnalia. So, you know what they did? God inspired them, long ago, to bat Christmas three and one-half days down the trail to the 25th because He was gonna bring the Day of the Lord on Christmas and destroy it. Absolutely destroy it.

 

David C. Pack just admitted that Christmas Day is God-inspired. Catholics everywhere are rejoicing.

 

@ 43:57 But, it's impossible to wait 46 years, and it’s impossible that the Day of the Lord does not come on Christmas. Now just let that resonate with you. Talk to your friends about it. Think about it. Pray about it. Keep repeating itself to yourself when you take walks. You cannot bend it.

 

Sometimes, if you put two David C. Packs in a box and leave it for a while when you come back, only one of them is still breathing.

 

Part 388 – August 23, 2022

@ 21:45 It has become absolute heresy to reject that the Day of the Lord comes on the Feast of Trumpets.

 

David C. Pack from August calls David C. Pack of today a heretic. This is God’s servant?

 

Part 401 – October 22, 2022

@ 34:11 We will never change One Month. And I will never change Cheshvan.

 

That was two weeks ago! David C. Pack is not a man of his word, and he is not to be trusted.

 

Part 297 – March 17, 2021

@ 00:20 …it’s impossible to disagree with the fact that Christ said, straight up, He was coming on …the Passover, the New Testament Passover.

 

Part 379 – June 25, 2022

@ 18:23 It’s impossible that God doesn’t start to ‘revive His work’ on Tammuz 1…

 

See the pattern? Dave has no idea what he is talking about. His own words prove that to anyone with ears to hear.

 

 

And he botched the 1335 again.

 

@ 1:17:18 We have not hit the 1335. It does not apply to us. We are still on open range for a few more days before all hell breaks loose.

 

Fantastic news, right brethren? What an exciting cliffhanger to keep us tuned in for Part 404. Yikes. So much for statements like this from ONE PART AGO:

 

Part 402 – October 25, 2022

@ 1:27:01 God’s will has been done. You made it to the 1335. The pledge is made on the, dare I say? The correct 1335.

 

To all those that still get excited about these Parts on social media…just stop. You are embarrassing yourselves. Quite frankly, it is creepy and culty and makes you look like a loon to your friends and family. Have some dignity and stop crowing about "Mr. Pack" before God ends it all, and you find yourself on the wrong side of history.

 

Now is the time to leave, if there ever was one, despite what he says next.

 

@ 1:20:02 I would like to think no one would come this far, hear of what I’ve explained tonight and remotely dream of leaving.

 

I am personally aware of two more resignation letters coming Headquarters’ way. Folks are especially despising sermons by Kenneth M. Orel, as his audio is filling my inbox.

 

********************

 

Dear Bradford “Enabler-in-Chief” Schleifer,

 

Please continue to put the “Chicago Heavy” on the speaking schedule. He is doing wonders for the website and the Ex-RCG Facebook group. Remind Dave he once told some men, “If this were Worldwide, Ken would never have been made a minister.” Ken’s increasing ability to turn off brethren has become legendary. Thank him for me.

 

Sincerely,

 

Marc R. Cebrian

 

********************

 

 

Dave manages to blame God for his failures. Again.

 

@ 47:14 You’d have said, “Seven years?” So, God, in His love, never let us see the end date was way out there.

 

God let His people be lied to for seven years? God allowed His people to mistakenly depart because they had seven years' worth of proof they were listening to a false prophet? God let His people feel the continuous sting of disappointment after being told they would see their dead children or dead spouses or dead parents very soon, to only have it not come to pass?

 

This is what David C. Pack claims that his god has done. That god is an evil trickster of deception, lies, and manipulation. That is a god who tortures its faithful flock. That is a god with no regard for its servant speaking the words put into that man's mouth, knowing full well he will be made a laughing stock. The fasting and prayers of David C. Pack fall on deaf ears because telling the truth is not a part of that god’s plan.

 

The god David C. Pack teaches is a monster. David C. Pack proclaims the words of a monster in that monster's name. David C. Pack swears upon a false god and awaits a false christ.

 

Worshiping that god is a vile curse upon those who believe it. That is not the True God of the Bible. If it were, then march me into the Lake of Fire and blot me out of existence because I would not want that being to rule over me or anyone I love for all eternity.

 

There is a comfort in knowing David C. Pack does not preach the True God. He does not speak for the True God. He is not guided by the True God.

 

Reward those who proclaim Your name falsely according to their works. Amen.

 

The madness of this biblical nonsense will continue for as long as the hireling enablers at Headquarters allow it. David C. Pack will continue to recycle the same ridiculous statements about the same ridiculous ideas until the brethren stand up. Or walk out.

 

David C. Pack is not a man of his word. He is not led by God. Do not wait to wake up the day after Thanksgiving to figure it out. Do not wait until after sundown on December 25.

 

David C. Pack has been wrong. Is wrong and will continue to be wrong.

 

Be not afraid of him.


Get out while you still can.


Marc Cebrian

See: Jingle Bells Lake of Fire

Saturday, November 5, 2022

UCG: Crafty Old Satan Beguiling New Members And Leading Them Out Of UCG


That pesky ol'Satan is a busy guy lately as he is specifically targeting those whom the UCG believes they have 'converted' over to their way of life. Are new 'converts" to UCGism leaving the church soon afterward? Why is Satan always blamed for ineffectual UCG speakers/ministers who are so bland and boring that they can't retain new members? People thought they were joining a church geared toward Jesus when they joined UCG and later realized the guy is rarely talked about.

In addition, we would like to ask if you would add another vital component to your prayers. Please pray especially for the many people God is calling that they will be unhindered in learning and implementing the marvelous truths of the Bible (Matthew 22:14). In Jesus’ parable of the sower and the seed He said, “The sower sows the word. And these are the ones by the wayside where the word is sown. When they hear, Satan comes immediately and takes away the word that was sown in their hearts” (Mark 4:14-15). Brethren, we can all pray that God will help people resist the devil’s unseen aggression so that the seed of the gospel will put down roots in their lives so as to begin producing godly fruit (Matthew 13:23). 
 
In His model prayer Jesus said, “And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one” (Matthew 6:13). As we pray this way for ourselves, we can also pray for these new, vulnerable “little ones” whom God is calling (Matthew 10:42). This is so they can not only withstand Satan’s toxic influence, but deal effectively with life’s troubles and distractions while growing in and applying spiritual knowledge and understanding (Mark 9:41-42; John 17:15).

How can a diseased tree produce "good fruit"? 




Does Jesus Really Care About DNA, the 12 Tribes, Banks, Or Even the Bible?


Our favorite self-appointed prophet will spend countless hours a week talking jibberish about topics that have absolutely nothing to do with Jesus Christ. Bwana Bob's topics do not even concern his African followers, who could care less about these things. When you face a day to day struggles with keeping food on your table, shelter over your head, and maintaining personal safety, these nonsense topics by their leader do not impress them. Rarely do they ever hear about Jesus Christ, the one they actually take delight in following. Why COG leaders are embarrassed about talking about Jesus has always fascinated me.

Does Jesus even care about those topics, including the Bible? The answer to that is, of course not!

These are some of the unimportant things the Great Bwana thinks is important to know for salvation:

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