Elbert W. Harmthrong
and
Herman Hooey
A showcase of ignorance: Elbert's "True History" of the "True Church"
Tuesday, March 10, 2026
Life And Death Are Set Before You. This Is Your FINAL test!
Samuel Kitchen writes about Samaria - his new name for the United States:
Once again, Samuel W. Kitchen—third-generation prophet, self-appointed Worldwide Church of God restorer, aspiring Ambassador Auditorium buyer, and apparently the only guy left who still thinks Herbert W. Armstrong's ghost is personally mind-melding him end-time memos from the spirit realm. In a world where most people doomscroll TikTok for entertainment, you're out here doom-preaching about maritime law and toe federations like it's the hottest new Netflix series.This Church is under threat of Satan the Devil, and his Beast system! They are rising up out of the sea, and corporations are governed by the law of the sea(or maritime U.C.C law).When the ten toes give this MAN, this BEAST, their power and strength, then the Great Tribulation will begin. Then the SWORD or nuclear war will be launched on our lands, killing 1/3 of our peoples to remove the rebellious, and to install ORDER.Then as a result, we will see another 1/3 of our peoples die to disease and pestilence. Then the remaining 1/3 will be reinstalled as CITIZENS of the new country! And if you try to assemble as God's people, and keep His Law and His Sabbath day, you will face capital punishment. That is the Mark of the Beast!And this resurrected Holy Roman Empire, will only happen when the ten nations give to this man who will become the BEAST, power and authority. But before that, he is rising up among SAMARIA through the idol worshipping we are doing! And because of it we are GOING DOWN DOWN DOWN!Come brethren, let us fear the Lord and think on His name. Where did He place it? What Church was established by Him? The Worldwide Church of God. Let us gather together, and ASSEMBLE once again. Let us come together in ONE MIND, and ONE SPIRIT. Bringing the tithes and offerings into the storehouse, so God's House may be spared and have meat in His house! THEN AND ONLY THEN SHALL THE DEVOURER BE REBUKED, and we shall be spared! Not after! So this is a TEST on where your heart is at! Are you one of the FAITHFUL FEW who are obeying God? Or are you one of the rebellious many?Life and death is set before you. Choose life.
Let's revisit your apocalyptic fanfic with the enthusiasm it deserves—because nothing screams "fun" like nuclear holy war triggered by insufficient tithing receipts.
Picture it: Satan the Devil, that crafty old sea monster, is rising out of the ocean... not on a throne of skulls, but on a yacht registered under Delaware LLC rules. Because apparently the real Mark of the Beast isn't 666—it's a properly filed UCC-1 financing statement. Corporations are the Beast system now? Bold.
The ten toes finally hand over their power to this shadowy MAN/BEAST. Boom—Great Tribulation speedrun unlocked. First third of humanity? Vaporized by "swords" (nukes, because subtlety is for losers). Why? To "remove the rebellious" and install ORDER.
Then, plot twist: another third drops from pestilence. Because why stop at radiation poisoning when you can add bubonic bonus rounds? The surviving third? Welcome to the post-trib HOA from hell. Nothing says divine love like a post-apocalyptic rebrand with 66% population reduction. Efficiency!
And the ultimate gotcha? If you try to assemble on Saturday, keep the Sabbath, and obey God's Law like a good little remnant... capital punishment. That's the Mark of the Beast, baby. Not barcodes, not digital IDs, not even refusing to say "Happy Holidays." Nope—it's daring to have church on the wrong day of the week. Truly, the scariest thing in 2026 is a Zoom Sabbath service getting raided by Beast SWAT teams yelling, "Hands up! That's Saturday worship— you're under arrest!"
But fear not, brethren! The resurrected Holy Roman Empire 2.0 (now with 100% more EU bureaucracy) only launches once those ten nations empower the Beast. Until then, it's all downhill in Samaria because... idol worship. We're "GOING DOWN DOWN DOWN!" like a bad stock ticker, all because people aren't coughing up enough tithes to keep God's cosmic PayPal account in the black.
The fix? Simple. Fear the Lord. Think on His name (spoiler: it's parked at worldwidechurchofgod.org, registered to a 34-year-old in Keosauqua, Iowa, who swears he's not a minister so he can't take tithes... wink wink). Gather in ONE MIND, ONE SPIRIT. Bring those sweet, sweet offerings into the storehouse so God's House has "meat." Only then will the Devourer be rebuked. Not after! Timing is everything in prophecy—and apparently in divine Venmo.
This is YOUR FINAL TEST, people. Are you one of the faithful few, or one of the rebellious many, dooming us all because you spent grocery money on avocado toast instead of mailing it to Keosauqua?
Life and death set before you. Choose life by preserving the Holy Ambassador Auditorium. By which he means choose recurring donations, Saturday services, and blind loyalty to the one true unincorporated spiritual organism that a handful of diehards insist is still kicking 30-some years after the rest of the splinters have splintered further.
In conclusion, thank you, Samuel, for this high-octane reminder that while the rest of us are stressing about gas and grocery prices, the true crisis is corporate admiralty law teaming up with insufficient Sabbath attendance to nuke a third of humanity and slaughter another third with pestilence.
Now excuse me while I go check if my checking account has 666 in its barcode and maybe set up a recurring $20 transfer—just in case. Purely to rebuke the Devourer, you understand.
No pressure. But also... tick-tock, brethren. The toes are wiggling.
Monday, March 9, 2026
New Web Site For Spiritual Abuse Recovery That Includes WCG, PCG, JW's and Whole Wheat International
There is a new web site that deals with religious trauma in high controlling churches and the effect it has upon the children.
This site deals a lot with Armstrongism and its long history of damage against children and members.
The one fascinating thing I noticed is that it also includes Whole Wheat International, which is just as batshit crazy as Armstrongism, with their own man of god sent to restore all truths. I have never heard of them till this moment, but they have a significant presence. Check out their freaky video:
Sam the Fraudster Just Outed Himself
For some time now, he's been peddling these charming AI-generated "documents"—carefully disguised as precious relics from the 1950s or 60s, supposedly hammered out on Herbert W. Armstrong's (HWA) very own typewriter. You know the drill: artfully crossed-out typos, those adorable key-shift glitches, a splash of dramatic red ink here and there, all the classic pre-digital flair to fool the faithful into thinking they've unearthed long-lost apostolic wisdom.
Today, he blessed us with yet another masterpiece—one of those "letters" that looks exactly like the usual pre-computer-era church drivel. Except, of course, even back in the day, God's chosen apostle wouldn't have dared send out something riddled with so many sloppy mistakes. Most official correspondence by the 1960s was proudly produced on those sleek IBM Selectric typewriters (which debuted in glorious 1961, thank you very much). Heaven forbid HWA himself would tolerate such amateur-hour errors in his divine missives.
Anyway, as Bwana Bob loves to say, just scroll to the very last paragraph. There it is—the glorious slip-up where our boy Samuel casually mentions "purchasing" the Ambassador Auditorium.
Ah, yes, because nothing screams "authentic 1950s HWA letter" like casually plotting to buy a building that wouldn't even exist until the early 1970s (dedicated in 1974, for the historically challenged). Brilliant move, Samuel. Truly inspired. Nothing says "time-traveling forgery" quite like referencing a future real-estate transaction in a supposed vintage document. Oh, and by the way, the crooked type print, like you placed the paper on the copier glass crooked, though somehow kept the very last paragraph perfectly straight, is a nice touch.
Keep 'em coming, champ—we're all dying to see what anachronistic gem you drop next, particularly for a building that you will NEVER buy!
Sunday, March 8, 2026
Debunking the PCG: America and Great Britain in Biblical Prophecy
America and Great Britain in Biblical Prophecy
On Tuesday, August 08, 2006, The Trumpet.com republished an article by Ryan Malone and Stephen Hill titled “The End of the Free World,” an article in which the writers describe the role the United States and Great Britain will play in the events of the last days. They wrote:
One of the most astounding secrets of the Bible—that the United States and Britain are two of the most prominent nations mentioned in prophecy—may initially appear startling, or even preposterous, to some of our readers.
The reason “the United States and Britain are two of the most prominent nations mentioned in prophecy” is because Britain, the nations of the British Commonwealth, and the United States of America are the remnant of Ephraim and Manasseh, two of the lost ten tribes of Israel.
Malone and Hill wrote:
Before we can understand the prophecies pertaining to the United States and Britain, an understanding of the identity of these countries in the Bible is essential. The abundant material blessings eventually to be bestowed on the U.S. and the British Commonwealth of nations were initially conveyed to the biblical patriarch Abraham because of his obedience (Gen. 22:16-18). He then passed them on to his son Isaac, who later did the same with his son Jacob. In due time, Jacob conferred this birthright promise to his son Joseph’s sons—Manasseh and Ephraim.
This is the reason, according to the two writers, that Old Testament prophets like Ezekiel, Jeremiah, Isaiah and Hosea provided specific detail about what is to happen to the United States and Britain.
The view advocated in this article is called “British-Israelism.” British-Israelism is the view that teaches that Great Britain and the United States are the remnant of the ten lost tribes of Israel. Thus, those who have adopted this view believe that the United States and Great Britain are God’s Chosen People.
The advocates of British-Israelism believe that biblical prophecies about the future of Israel and Judah are in reality prophecies about the destiny of America and Great Britain.
The concept of the ten lost tribes of Israel came into existence after the exile of the Northern Kingdom of Israel by Assyria. In 722 B.C., after the death of Shalmanassar V, King of Assyria, Sargon II finished the conquest of Israel. The capital of the Northern Kingdom, Samaria was conquered and thousands of people were deported to other parts of the Assyrian Empire.
The advocates of British-Israelism believe that the people of Israel who went into exile eventually migrated from their places of exile into the British Isles. These refugees eventually dispersed to America and Canada, thus establishing an Israelite presence in the Anglo-Saxon world.
Among the evidence given by the advocates of this view is that the word “Saxons” is a corruption of the expression “Isaac’s sons.” The advocates of this view also say that the word “British” is formed by the Hebrew word brit which means “covenant” and the word ish which means “man.” Thus, the word “British” means “covenant man.”
According to British-Israelism, America and Great Britain are heirs of God’s promises to Israel and because of that, many biblical prophecies have been fulfilled in the lives of these two nations. America and Great Britain have been blessed with prosperity and material wealth and have become two great superpowers.
But because of disobedience to God’s law, America and Great Britain have begun experiencing God’s judgment:
Also prophesied for America and Britain was the gain of strategic sea gates (Gen. 22:17) only to be lost as these nations reaped curses for disobedience. This too has already largely occurred. The 20th century saw Britain’s and America’s loss of sea gates such as the Suez Canal, Malta, Singapore, Hong Kong, the Falkland Islands, the Cape of Good Hope and the Panama Canal. Gibraltar will undoubtedly be added to the list soon, as Britain is being bullied by the European Union to relinquish control of this strategic territory, under threat of horrendous fines.
The views proposed by British-Israelism find no support in the Bible even though its proponents use many biblical passages to prove their point. A careful study of the Old Testament will show that the lost tribes of the Northern Kingdom were never lost.
When Sargon II deported the population of the Northern Kingdom, he deported only a portion of the population. According to the Sargon Inscription, when Sargon captured Samaria he took captive 27,290 people, but many more were left behind.
During the reforms of Josiah in 622 B.C., Josiah made an attempt to extend his religious reforms to the remnant of the Northern Tribes. According to 2 Chronicles 34:8-9, Josiah contacted Israelite people who lived in Ephraim and Manasseh:
In the eighteenth year of Josiah’s reign, to purify the land and the temple, he sent Shaphan son of Azaliah and Maaseiah the ruler of the city, with Joah son of Joahaz, the recorder, to repair the temple of the LORD his God. They went to Hilkiah the high priest and gave him the money that had been brought into the temple of God, which the Levites who were the doorkeepers had collected from the people of Manasseh, Ephraim and the entire remnant of Israel and from all the people of Judah and Benjamin and the inhabitants of Jerusalem.
The reference in Chronicles to the people of Manasseh, Ephraim, and the entire remnant of Israel may reflect the Chronicler’s view that all Israel was still a viable option. However, this reference clearly indicates that during the time of the Chronicler, the remnant of the tribes of Israel were not lost.
As for America and Great Britain, they are not found in the oracles of Ezekiel, Jeremiah, Isaiah and Hosea. Only through the process of eisegesis, reading one’s view into the biblical text, is America and Great Britain found in the Old Testament.
British-Israelism is not supported by the teachings of the Bible. The interpretation of biblical prophecies showing that America and Great Britain are the lost tribes of Israel is false.
Christians who are interested in prophecy and the events related to the last days must be careful not to be deceived by false teachings. Believers should always be aware of the words of Christ, that in the last days “there will be false prophets, and they will give signs and wonders in the hope of turning even the saints from the true way” (Mark 13:22).
If you want to read about the fallacy of British-Israelism online, read British-Israelism: A Mirage by R. P. Nettelhorst.
Claude Mariottini
Professor of Old Testament
Northern Baptist Seminary
Does A New Covenant Christian Need To Worry About The Unsupported Conjecture Of British Israelism ?
The single most self-anointed prophet God has graced the internet once again with his divine presence. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he’s back—triumphantly flaunting yet another magnum opus that heroically attempts to “prove” British Israelism is the One True Key to All Scripture.
There is no need for actual Christians to lose even thirty seconds of sleep over this theological masterpiece. As they plod along in their boring, everyday New Covenant walk—y’know, the one where Jesus is actually the center—they can safely ignore the whole carnival of absurdities and outright heresies being sprayed in Crackpot Bob's book and on his websites that is nothing more than theological graffiti.
Because let’s be crystal clear: the New Covenant doesn’t just politely disagree with British Israelism—it utterly dynamites the entire rickety scaffolding of that myth and scatters the debris into the sea of irrelevance. Poof. Gone. No residual spiritual DNA required.
And yet… in the alternate universe known as Armstrongism, British Israelism isn’t just a quirky side doctrine—it’s basically the load-bearing beam holding up the whole circus tent. Strip away the sacred Anglo-Saxon-Israel fantasy and—surprise!—the entire doctrinal edifice collapses faster than a house of cards in a windstorm. Suddenly, the whole “Restored Truth” project is left standing there… impotent, awkward, and desperately clutching its identity chart like it’s the last lifeboat on the Titanic.
Truly, one cannot overstate the cosmic importance of insisting that the British throne is secretly David’s and that modern Americans are—against all historical, genetic, linguistic, and archaeological evidence—literal descendants of ancient Ephraim and Manasseh. Remove that one utterly indispensable pillar and poof: Armstrongism is reduced to just another guy in a suit yelling about the Sabbath and pork. How tragic. How fragile. How gloriously overrated.
Carry on, faithful remnant. The rest of us will just keep following that obscure Jewish carpenter who apparently forgot to mention He was really building His kingdom through the British Empire. Silly oversight on His part.
British Israelism, also known as Anglo-Israelism, is a 19th-century doctrine asserting that the Anglo-Saxon peoples, particularly those of the British Isles and their descendants (including Americans), are the direct genetic, racial, and linguistic heirs of the Ten Lost Tribes of ancient Israel that were exiled by the Assyrians in 722 B.C. Proponents claim this fulfills biblical prophecies about Israel's restoration, with the British monarchy tracing back to King David and the United States or Britain representing tribes like Ephraim or Manasseh. However, this teaching lacks sound biblical, historical, or scientific foundation, as detailed below.
Biblical and Theological Flaws
British Israelism relies on selective, out-of-context interpretations of Scripture, often engaging in eisegesis (reading preconceived ideas into the text) rather than exegesis (deriving meaning from the text). Key issues include:
- The "Lost Tribes" Were Not Entirely Lost: The Bible does not describe the ten northern tribes as vanishing without trace or migrating en masse to distant lands like Britain. Second Kings 17:18 notes their deportation to Assyria, but subsequent passages show remnants integrating with the southern kingdom of Judah. For instance, Second Chronicles 15:9 records people from Ephraim, Manasseh, and Simeon (northern tribes) settling in Judah before the Assyrian invasion. Second Chronicles 35:18 describes Israelites celebrating the Passover with Judah about 90 years after the deportation. In the New Testament, the prophetess Anna is identified as from the tribe of Asher (Luke 2:36), one of the supposedly lost tribes. Additionally, post-exilic texts like Ezra 1:3 and 2:70 refer to "all Israel" returning from Babylon, including members from northern tribes such as Ephraim and Manasseh (1 Chronicles 9:2–3), indicating no complete loss.
- Misapplication of Prophecies: Advocates often literalize prophecies about Israel's restoration (e.g., Jeremiah 31, Ezekiel 37) to apply exclusively to modern Anglo-Saxons, ignoring the New Testament's spiritual fulfillment in the Church. Galatians 3:28–29 and Romans 9:6–8 emphasize that true Israel consists of believers in Christ, not ethnic descendants: "Not all who are descended from Israel are Israel." First Peter 2:9–10 applies Old Testament descriptors of Israel (e.g., "chosen people") to the multi-ethnic Christian community. Claims that Jeremiah transplanted King David's line to Britain via Zedekiah's daughters lack any biblical mention; instead, the Davidic line continues through Jehoiachin (Jeremiah 52:31–34, Matthew 1:12–16).
- Inconsistent Tribal Counting: The Old Testament lists the twelve tribes variably (e.g., Genesis 29 vs. Deuteronomy 33), sometimes omitting Levi or splitting Joseph into Ephraim and Manasseh. After the kingdom split, the northern kingdom likely had only 8–9 tribes, as Levites were dispersed and many faithful northerners migrated south (2 Chronicles 11:13–17), undermining the "ten lost tribes" premise.
- Emphasis on Fleshly Descent Contradicts the Gospel: The doctrine promotes ethnic superiority, which Paul condemns in Philippians 3:3–8, counting his Israelite heritage as "dung" compared to knowing Christ. It revives Old Covenant distinctions abolished in the New Covenant (Ephesians 2:14–16).
Mainstream biblical scholars view British Israelism as a fringe ideology driven by nationalism rather than sound exegesis, with no support from the text's historical-grammatical context.
Historical Flaws
Historical records provide no evidence for a mass migration of Israelites from Assyria to Britain, and the theory originated as 19th-century speculation without ancient roots.
- No Archaeological or Documentary Proof: Assyrian records confirm deporting about 27,000 Israelites (roughly 20–25% of the northern kingdom's population of 70,000–100,000), but many remained in the land, fled to Judah or Egypt, or became part of the Samaritan population. No inscriptions, artifacts, or chronicles describe a trek through the Caucasus (as some claim) to Europe. Empires like Assyria, Babylon, and Persia tightly controlled populations, making large-scale escapes improbable.
- Unlikely Migration Logistics: Traveling from the Middle East to Britain in ancient times would involve crossing hostile territories, mountains, and seas, with no historical trace of such a journey by a displaced people. If freed, exiles would more likely return to their homeland than venture to unknown isles.
- Ethnological and Cultural Mismatches: British history traces to Celtic, Roman, Anglo-Saxon, Viking, and Norman influences, not Semitic origins. Claims of linguistic ties (e.g., "British" from "berith ish" meaning "covenant man") are folk etymology without scholarly basis; English is Indo-European, while Hebrew is Afro-Asiatic Semitic.
The theory emerged in the 1800s amid British imperialism, appealing to notions of divine favoritism, but it has been dismissed by historians as pseudohistory.
Scientific Disproof
Modern science, particularly genetics, linguistics, and archaeology, conclusively refutes British Israelism's core claims of direct descent.
- Genetic Evidence: DNA studies show no significant ancestral link between Anglo-Saxons and ancient Israelites. Mitochondrial DNA (mtDNA), passed unchanged through maternal lines, and Y-chromosome DNA (tracing paternal lines) reveal distinct pools: Middle Eastern populations (e.g., Jews, Arabs) cluster together, separate from white Europeans. For example, haplogroups common in Europeans (like R1b, found in ~65% of British men) originated in prehistoric Europe and Western Asia but diverged long before biblical times, with no specific Israelite signature matching British populations. Ancient DNA from Israelite sites (e.g., Iron Age Levant) aligns with modern Levantine groups, not Celts or Anglo-Saxons. Over millennia, genetic mixing makes tracing specific ancient groups without cultural continuity (like Ashkenazi Jews) impossible, but even then, no "lost tribe" markers appear in British genomes. Claims of Mideast links in British DNA (e.g., from Phoenician traders) are minimal and predate the Assyrian exile, not evidence of tribal descent.
- Linguistic and Archaeological Refutation: As noted, languages don't match: Hebrew's Semitic roots differ fundamentally from Indo-European ones. Archaeology yields no artifacts linking Israelite culture to ancient Britain; instead, British prehistory shows local and continental European influences.
In summary, British Israelism is unsupported conjecture, debunked by integrated biblical analysis, absent historical records, and clear scientific data showing no ethnic continuity.
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