Monday, April 13, 2026

The 1975 Prophecies That Never Happened: How the Jehovah’s Witnesses and Worldwide Church of God Built—and Then Denied—Expectations of Doom




When you watch this video, you will see how the WCG was almost exactly like the JW's 
when it came to members dealing with the prophecies.


The 1975 Prophecies That Never Happened: 
How the Jehovah’s Witnesses and Worldwide Church of God 
Built—and Then Denied—Expectations of Doom

In the decades after World War II, two fast-growing religious movements captured the imagination of hundreds of thousands of believers with urgent warnings about the end of the world. The Jehovah’s Witnesses and the Worldwide Church of God (WCG), founded by Herbert W. Armstrong, both tied Bible prophecy to the specific year 1975. Their publications painted 1975 as the climax of 6,000 years of human history, the trigger for global catastrophe, and the possible start of Christ’s millennial reign. Followers sold homes, quit jobs, postponed marriages, and poured resources into the organizations in anticipation. When nothing apocalyptic occurred, both groups faced mass disillusionment—and sharp accusations that they had lied to their members.

Neither organization ever printed the exact words “Armageddon will strike in 1975.” But both used language that made the year seem inevitable, authoritative, and biblically certain. When the date passed quietly, they pivoted to denial, blame-shifting, and quiet revisions. Here is the documented record.
The Jehovah’s Witnesses: “Six Thousand Years End in 1975”

The foundation was laid in 1966 with the book Life Everlasting—in Freedom of the Sons of God. It presented a “trustworthy Bible chronology” showing that Adam was created in 4026 B.C.E. Adding 6,000 years brought the timeline to the fall of 1975:

According to this trustworthy Bible chronology six thousand years from man’s creation will end in 1975, and the seventh period of a thousand years of human history will begin in the fall of 1975 C.E. … How appropriate it would be for Jehovah God to make of this coming seventh period of a thousand years a Sabbath period of rest and release, a great Jubilee sabbath for the proclaiming of liberty throughout the earth to all its inhabitants!

The Watchtower magazine amplified the excitement. A 1968 article titled “Why Are You Looking Forward to 1975?” asked readers to consider whether the Battle of Armageddon might conclude by autumn 1975. A 1968 Kingdom Ministry bulletin told congregation leaders: “Less than a hundred months separate us from the end of 6000 years of man’s history. What can you do in that time?” District conventions featured slogans like “Stay Alive Till ’75.” In some countries, elders openly urged members to sell property, pioneer full-time, and avoid long-term plans.

The message was unmistakable to those inside the organization. Thousands of families liquidated assets, delayed having children, and devoted every spare hour to preaching. When 1975 ended with no Armageddon, the exodus began. Many who had sacrificed careers and savings felt betrayed.

The Watch Tower Society’s response was consistent and revealing. In October 1975 it acknowledged “considerable individual speculation” but insisted its publications “have never said that the world’s end would come then.” By 1976 it blamed members’ “own understanding” based on “wrong premises.” A later article claimed the disappointment was a faith-testing “sifting” process and quietly adjusted the chronology by inserting an undetermined gap between Adam’s and Eve’s creation. The organization has never admitted it manufactured false hope; it has only denied making an official prediction.

The Worldwide Church of God: “1975 in Prophecy!”

Herbert W. Armstrong’s Radio Church of God (renamed the Worldwide Church of God in 1968) took a different but equally dramatic approach. In 1956 Armstrong published the 32-page booklet 1975 in Prophecy!, lavishly illustrated with apocalyptic artwork by Mad magazine cartoonist Basil Wolverton. The booklet contrasted humanity’s “fantastic push-button world” of technological progress with God’s coming wrath. It warned that by the mid-1970s a devastating drought would kill one-third of the world’s population, followed by nuclear war that would kill another third, with the survivors sold into slavery. Christ would then return to establish the Kingdom of God.

The booklet became a cornerstone of WCG outreach, distributed by the millions alongside The United States and Britain in Prophecy. Armstrong’s radio broadcasts and The Plain Truth magazine hammered the same theme for nearly two decades: the Great Tribulation and Christ’s return were scheduled for the early-to-mid 1970s, with 1975 as the outside limit. Members were told the church would flee to a “place of safety” (often identified as Petra, Jordan) in 1972, emerging in 1975 to rule with Christ.

When 1975 arrived and passed without tribulation, famine, or nuclear holocaust, Armstrong quietly withdrew the booklet from circulation. He never issued a formal retraction or apology. Instead, later writings simply stopped mentioning specific dates. After Armstrong’s death in 1986, the WCG underwent massive doctrinal changes and eventually abandoned Armstrong’s prophetic framework entirely. Offshoot groups that retained the original teachings have since tried to reinterpret or downplay the failed timeline.

The Common Pattern: Bold Implication, Then Denial

Both organizations followed the same playbook:
  • Authoritative chronology presented as “Bible truth.”
  • Urgent language that stopped just short of an explicit date.
  • Life-altering actions encouraged among the rank-and-file.
  • Post-failure blame placed on members’ “misunderstandings” or “speculation.”
  • No formal admission of error—only claims that the organization never said what everyone inside clearly heard.
Critics argue this constitutes deception. When leaders publish detailed timelines, circulate countdown bulletins, and celebrate slogans like “Stay Alive Till ’75” while simultaneously insisting “we never set a date,” the result is classic bait-and-switch. Followers who acted in good faith were left financially and emotionally devastated, while the organizations retained power and continued to demand loyalty and donations.

The 1975 episode is not ancient history. It remains one of the clearest modern examples of how date-specific prophecy can be used to control behavior, extract commitment, and then be memory-holed when it fails. Both groups survived the scandal, but thousands of former members never recovered their trust—either in the organizations or in the very idea of end-time prophecy delivered by men. The record shows that when religious leaders promise the end is precisely calculable, history has a way of proving them wrong—and their followers pay the price.

A Devastating Legacy: The Human Wreckage of 1975

When the calendar flipped from 1975 into 1976, the world did not end. But for thousands of sincere believers in the Jehovah’s Witnesses and the Worldwide Church of God, something far more personal did collapse: their entire sense of reality, security, and hope.

They had believed with all their hearts. They had sold their homes, emptied their savings, quit their jobs, postponed marriages, skipped college, and turned their backs on careers—because their leaders had painted 1975 as the unmistakable, Bible-guaranteed finish line of human history. The promises were delivered with the full authority of “God’s organization” and “God’s apostle.” The urgency was relentless. The stakes were eternal.

Then the date passed in silence.

What followed was not merely disappointment. It was a slow-motion spiritual and emotional catastrophe. Families who had liquidated everything woke up to empty bank accounts and no retirement. Young people who had sacrificed their educations found themselves in their thirties with no credentials and no future. Parents who had refused to have children because “this system won’t last that long” faced the quiet grief of empty nests and irreversible regret. Marriages fractured under the weight of dashed expectations and mutual blame. Depression, anxiety, and in some cases suicide shadowed the years that followed.

The organizations offered no apologies, no restitution, and no accountability—only the cold insistence that they had “never said” what every member clearly heard. The very leaders who had stoked the fire of urgency now stood back and watched the faithful burn, then blamed the victims for misunderstanding.

For both groups, 1975 was not just a failed date on a chart. It was a betrayal that shattered lives. It robbed people of their best years, their financial stability, their education, their families, and, for many, their faith itself. The damage was not abstract theology—it was measured in foreclosed homes, broken marriages, abandoned dreams, and decades of quiet despair.

Decades later, the survivors still carry the scars. Some rebuilt. Many never fully recovered. All of them learned the same bitter lesson: when religious leaders weaponize prophecy to demand total sacrifice, the only thing that truly ends in 1975 is the innocence of those who believed them.

The world kept spinning. But for countless ex-members of the Jehovah’s Witnesses and the Worldwide Church of God, time itself stopped in the autumn of 1975—and part of them has never moved forward since.

Sunday, April 12, 2026

Progressive Revelation In Armstrongism Is An Escape Hatch For Members To Turn A Blind Eye To Outright Lies





Progressive Revelation

more commonly used in COG groups: "new revelation," "new understanding," 
or "God is revealing more truth", 
is a key doctrinal mechanism in Armstrongism that lets members reinterpret failed prophecies as "incomplete earlier understanding" rather than outright lies or false prophecy. 
It keeps many loyal because it turns potential disillusionment 
into renewed hope and commitment.


What "Progressive Revelation" Means in Armstrongism

Herbert W. Armstrong (HWA) taught that God reveals His truth gradually—first the basics, then deeper insights as the end times near. He didn't always call it "progressive revelation" exactly, but he practiced it: adjusting doctrines over decades (e.g., on divorce/remarriage, healing, or prophecy timing) and presenting them as God opening new understanding through him as God's apostle.

Post-1986 splinter groups kept this idea but supercharged it. Current leaders claim God is now giving them fresh revelation or clearer insight into prophecy, end-time events, church government, or specific details HWA "didn't fully understand." This is not the standard Christian idea of progressive revelation (where later truth builds on earlier without contradicting it). In COG splinters, it often means revising or spiritualizing past predictions when they fail.

Examples tied to the leaders you asked about earlier:
  • Gerald Flurry (PCG): Heavily pushes "new revelation." Malachi's Message was called a "new vision from God." He has introduced things like the "new stone of destiny" (HWA's prayer rock) as a major divine update that "clarifies" prophecy and moves the throne of David to PCG. Failed timelines (e.g., Obama/Trump predictions) get reframed as God giving "sharper focus" or additional revelation.
  • David Pack (RCG): Constantly announces "new truth," "new doctrines," or "growth in understanding" revealed directly to him. Dozens of specific return dates or reunification prophecies that failed are explained as partial earlier understanding—God is progressively revealing the full picture through Pack.
  • Ronald Weinland (COG-PKG): Adjusted his 2008/2012 timelines and Two Witnesses claims by saying God revealed more as events unfolded.
  • Crackpot Bob: While Crackpot Bob often criticizes "progressive revelation through tradition" in other Christian churches, he still uses the functional equivalent: special dreams, the "double portion" mantle, and his unique prophetic role give "new understanding" of current events as prophecy fulfillment. Failures or unfulfilled expectations get folded into "God is revealing more through the Philadelphia remnant" narrative.

Why do members stay in spite of failed prophecies?

It solves the cognitive dissonance problem perfectly for those who want to stay:
  • It absolves the leader (and God) of error: Deuteronomy 18:21-22 says a true prophet's words must come to pass. "Progressive revelation" dodges this: "It wasn't a false prophecy—it was based on incomplete revelation at the time. God has now given us more light." Members aren't forced to call their leader a false prophet; instead, they see him as the humble channel for ongoing divine updates.
  • It turns failure into excitement and urgency: Every missed date becomes proof that "we're getting closer—the revelation is accelerating!" It creates a cycle: prediction → failure → "new understanding" → new prediction → renewed zeal and tithing. Members feel privileged to be part of the "cutting-edge" group receiving God's latest instructions.
  • It reinforces loyalty to the current leader: Leaving would mean rejecting God's current channel of revelation. You're not just leaving a church—you're becoming "Laodicean," blind to what God is doing now. Staying shows you're submissive to the "mantle" and willing to grow in understanding.
  • It fits the sunk-cost and fear psychology: Many have decades invested (family, friends, identity, tithes). Progressive revelation lets them salvage all that: "We weren't wrong; we just didn't have the full picture yet." Plus, the fear of the Tribulation and "place of safety" only for the faithful remnant makes questioning risky.
Cult recovery groups call this a classic false-teacher tactic. True biblical revelation doesn't require constant resets or blame-shifting. When circumstances change, genuine prophets don't "update" failed words—they repent or admit presumption. Instead, these groups modify expectations to protect the leader's authority, exactly as happened with the Elijah/HWA identification over the years.

In short, "progressive revelation" (in its Armstrongist form) is the escape hatch that lets members stay psychologically and spiritually comfortable despite the track record of unmet prophecies. It keeps the system going by promising that this time—with the latest revelation—the end really is near and the leader really is God's man. That's why, even with all the documented failures across PCG, RCG, COG-PKG, CCOG, and others, some dedicated members double down rather than walk away.

Saturday, April 11, 2026

Dave Pack/RCG: Blind faithfulness that abandons critical thinking is a doom spiral

 

Certain Uncertainty

There is one certain thing about David C. Pack: He is uncertain.

The wanna-be/hafta-be apostle, inept prophetic guru, and theological yarn-spinner vacillates between having “an avalanche of proof” about the date for the arrival of the Kingdom of God one week, but then dismantles his own theories the next.

The Pastor General of The Restored Church of God was certain his understanding of the unicorn date of Abib 24 (April 10) was God-inspired during “The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 628),” given on March 21, 2026, but became certain of his uncertainty during Part 629.

Part 629 – March 28, 2026
@ 26:38 Abib 24 is impossible. And now we can put it to bed, and we can start talking about are we waiting for three and a half days to Passover?

What took him two hours to preach during Part 628 was dismantled in seconds during Part 629. This triggered the Part 628 Regret-O-Meter bigtime.


Dave whined like a little schoolgirl about how hard his self-assigned job is, while again blaming the Jews for his biblical blunder. The irony of his using multi-sided dice as a visual aid for how challenging prophecy is was lost on him. I cannot help but wonder if this was Bradford Schleifer winking at us.

“The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 629)," given on March 28, 2026, is peak Dave Uncertainty. The Pastor General was Mister Wishy-Washy, Mister Maybe-Maybe Not, and Mister I Dunno in one wrapper.

One moment summarized the heart, spirit, and tone of Part 629. It is certain to make you chuckle.

@ 1:04:48 And and then you hope you can figure it out. If he knew, he'd tell you. It's pretty obvious that I don't know, or I'd be telling you. Or if I or I do know, but I'm not yet ready to tell you. I guess you could see it either way. I don't wanna tell you which it is. I may not know. I may know. I've thought I knew before.

That is a stellar example of WCG Ambassador College's preaching skills in action.

Tell them what you might tell them. Kinda tell them maybe sorta, I guess. Express your doubts about what you may or may not have told them if they wanna see it that way, perhaps.

David C. Pack is certainly uncertain throughout Part 629. Members in the Main Hall at Headquarters must have been wondering why he would even bother to preach if he was so uncertain about so much.


_____________________________________________________________________________________

The tone of a sermon is often set within the first few minutes. The brethren of The Restored Church of God certainly felt the same dread I used to when Dave would introduce doubts up front.

@ 02:31 Well, we have Abib 24 in hand. It's right, or it's not.

In times past, I knew that was to point at which to set my pen down. The rest of the sermon was just like that, but worse because it took him one hour and 49 minutes to build to a stunning conclusion:

@ 1:47:58 I’ma just tell ya what I think. I have big doubts about Passover, but it's a very real possibility. I have big doubts about it.

Those bookends encapsulate what members are subjected to week after week after week. And they pay this guy to do that. He studies the Bible all week just to preach uncertainty on the Sabbath.


@ 04:28 Two enormous problems drove last week's position, where we where we went to Abib 24. They got resolved, and we're gonna talk about them.

That is Packian-speak for "I'm gonna throw out what I just preached." But someone has to accept the blame.

@ 19:17 And the unicorn date we talked about last week became the 24th. Why? Because the Jews said so. And they have a wonderful track record of getting nothing right. That's the beauty of ‘em. They get nothing right.

In my mind’s eye, I can see Brad at the back of the hall subtly smirking and shaking his head when Dave blurts out unintentional comedy like this.

The exquisite irony that pours forth from David C. Pack’s mouth is astonishing perfection. From his own lips, he has said. God has a sense of humor and is a fan of irony. Dave’s ears cannot hear what Dave’s mouth says. The fatty hubris mass within his skull cannot tolerate self-awareness because it would have a devastating effect on the candy glass walls of his delusion.

Nobody at Headquarters would dare ask, “Mr. Pack, how is your track record?” That person would be certain to know they would be escorted off the property post haste.

For those who wonder if David C. Pack’s certain uncertainty is just a colorful exaggeration, this archive of accurate quotes stands as a witness to who speaks the truth.

@ 27:10 Because it could be Passover, or maybe we’ll see, no, it's not.

@ 29:43 So, you see how what as I study, I'm conflicted. Now, I'm I’m not really conflicted anymore…

@ 55:08 …and they overlay the seven Days of Unleavened Bread. I am not saying, and this where they [chuckles – plays with dice] you could they they move, and you try to figure out, “Wow, that would mean it’s Passover.” It would mean it could be. Or it could be a different seven days. Now, I hope you find this very interesting because I'm taking you deeply into why this was complicated for so long. For so, so long.

@ 1:04:08 Did you think, “Oh, that’s Passover?” Or did you think it could be? Certainly could be. This has been my challenge for a long time, on when God is gonna act.

@ 1:05:21 I'm trying to help you understand. Get ready for Passover, what we're covering. Wanna say it again. Because it could be Passover, and it may not be.

Why RCG members should never take David C. Pack seriously in 3…2…1…

@ 1:31:50 We wondered if the 1335 back there was the date. Then is it Abib 1? Is it Abib 3? Then my next question in the back of my mind, is it Abib 10? I I could I could I could just take a sidebar right now and spend two hours telling you why it looks like it could be Abib 10.

Just like he spent two hours telling them it was Abib 24 the week prior. Abib 24 was a unicorn date that was revealed to him by God, and he had an avalanche of proof to support it. Ponder that.

David C. Pack cannot discern between God’s inspiration
and his own imagination. That should sober
every member in The Restored Church of God.



The theme of certain uncertainty was carried from beginning to end. No topic was spared.

The theme of certain uncertainty was carried from beginning to end. No topic was spared.

@ 1:46:49 There’s an entirely different way to mark the 1335 days that we’ve never once discussed, and I’m pretty sure it’s right. It’s either now over ten days ago. Or we haven’t even gotten to it.

@ 1:48:37 You could ask, “Why would God have us go through all the preparation and all the messages and so forth, and we don't keep it?” [chuckles] …Maybe it's just to test our faithfulness to see if we will.

Right. This is what the brethren of The Restored Church of God need more of, since they have been needlessly suffering continuous uncertainty since August 30, 2013: Testing their faithfulness.

Blind faithfulness that abandons critical thinking is a doom spiral.

David C. Pack is an incompetent, blaspheming, hypocritical liar, false prophet, false apostle, false teacher, theological nincompoop, ineffective speaker, biblical fraud, religious charlatan, covetous thief, and notorious faith breaker. All of that is certain.

@ 1:48:57 So, it’s important to prepare for Passover. And we did. …and we'll know in three and a half days. But I have pretty big doubts, and I wanna leave those with you because you'll prepare and run through the tape in case the tape is further out by some little bit.

The brethren who seek the finish line tape will certainly come to understand it is further out by a lot. So far out that David C. Pack and those who worship him shall never see it in this lifetime.

All these doubts and uncertainties did not stop Dave from dropping a single hint of where they are heading next: Iyar 1 (April 17, 2026).

@ 26:09 The chag that Israel kept, the unicorn date we may be waiting was surely the next Sabbath of Iyar 1.Which, by the way, again, was not just a Sabbath, it was a new moon, and would make it really a chag. A double season of refreshing, if you will. I’m not saying that’s the date. But if it is the date, we ought to know which date we’re waiting for.

After he officially announces Iyar 1 as the unicorn date, there will be a sense of more certain uncertainty.

After 142 failures, it is hard to feel any empathy for the brethren of The Restored Church of God. David C. Pack needs to keep cranking out new dates just over the horizon to continue the impression of growth and better understanding.

One thing is certain: No one should feel uncertain about the perpetual failure of David C. Pack and the deceptive treachery of those who support him.

Marc Cebrian

See: Certain Uncertainty



Who Can Keep the Most Obscure Old Covenant Rules While Claiming Everyone Else Is Apostate?



Many members of the Church of God just wrapped up another thrilling observance of the Days of Unleavened Bread, complete with two or three mandatory days off squeezed into the week. Meanwhile, fearless leader Wade Cox has once again blessed his followers with the privilege of taking eight full days off work — just like the good old days of the Worldwide Church of God. And don’t worry, the fun isn’t over yet: another glorious nine or ten days off will be required for the Feast of Tabernacles. How thoughtful of their employers and school administrators to fully support this divine scheduling.

Cox and a few other extreme Church of God splinter groups love to claim they alone are preserving the pure, inspired truth that Herbert W. Armstrong supposedly taught in the early glory years. In their eyes, 99% of the rest of “COGland” has sadly fallen into apostasy, doing whatever they feel like. But fear not — the Coxites stand alone as the one true church, no matter how whack-a-doodle their rules get. After all, what other group can boast of converting half to three-quarters of the entire African continent, including plenty of Muslims? Even the most ambitious crackpot leaders in other splinters could never pull off such a miracle.

One of the more unique distinctions of the Coxites is their belief in a created creature they call Christ — a being who will return not in gentle grace, but to whip some serious ass because he’s so ticked off. This future Messiah will then implement the entire system of laws given to Moses at Sinai. As they proudly declare:

When Messiah comes again, he is going to introduce, in total, the system of law that he gave to Moses at Sinai.

They also insist there is only one true God (named Eloah), which conveniently explains why Jesus must be a created creature:

How many true Gods does it have? The Bible texts are very plain, and they say that there is only One True God Eloah and He sent Jesus Christ, and on understanding that fact depends eternal life (Jn. 17:3). His name is Eloah (Prov. 30:4-5; Ezra Ch. 4-Ch. 7, F015ii). No man has ever seen Him or can see Him and He alone is immortal (Jn.1:18; 1Tim 6:16).

How refreshing — a theology where the Savior has to earn His stripes by coming back angry and enforcing ancient civil laws.]

But the real litmus test for true Christianity, according to CCG, is following the “proper calendar.” The Coxites are teh calendar police of teh COG movement. Anyone who dares use the common Hillel calendar (you know, the one most Jews and nearly every other Church of God group follows) is automatically branded an apostate. The Mother Church apparently got led astray by the Church of God (Seventh Day), which cowardly adopted the Hillel system because — gasp — there’s no Temple or Sanhedrin left to confirm the first faint crescent moon sighting.

Thankfully, the Coxites have people stationed around the Middle East scanning the skies for that sacred first glow. As they boldly proclaim:

The true Church keeps the Temple Calendar, and always has done so, over the last two millennia. The Sardis system went into apostasy from 1940 over Hillel in both the COG(SD) and the RCG and later WCG and offshoots. CCG keeps the Temple Calendar.

They also still keep the glorious eight-day Passover/Unleavened Bread observance that the Worldwide Church of God wisely dropped decades ago. Because nothing screams “New Covenant freedom” like forcing eight straight days off work for bread without yeast.

Some other gems of the Coxites include:

The True Church of God has to keep the Law and the Testimony that comes from the Law, including the Sabbaths, New Moons and the Feasts, and the Jubilee system. Only CCG does this

The church is also governed by the Law in all aspects and anyone teaching that the Law is done away or that any aspect of the Law, apart from the sacrificial law, does not have to be kept is not part of the Body of Christ.

If you or your church is not doing these things or teaching that they are not required then they are not inspired. Get away from them.

And just in case you were hoping for a little normal life: CCG prohibits any trading or ordinary activities on New Moons or Sabbaths. So no sneaky donut or coffee runs, no popping into a movie, and heaven forbid you stream a little Netflix on a New Moon day. The horror!

Meanwhile, Back in the New Covenant…

While all this calendar-watching and law-enforcing sounds exhausting, the New Testament offers a radically different message. Christians are not governed by the “testimony of the law” or bound to the Old Covenant system. As Paul plainly stated:

For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.” (Romans 6:14)

Of course, grace doesn’t mean “sin all you want,” but it does mean we are no longer under the heavy burden of the Mosaic Law as a means of justification or sanctification. The law served its purpose as a tutor to lead us to Christ. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under that tutor (Galatians 3:24-25). Grace and truth came through Jesus Christ (John 1:17), not through perfect moon sightings or eight-day forced vacations.

The ancient Temple calendar (based on actual visible crescent moons and barley ripening in Israel) was practical for a centralized nation with a functioning Sanhedrin. The Hillel calendar was a later, calculated system designed to keep scattered Jews unified after the Temple was destroyed. Neither one is presented in the New Testament as a requirement for Christians. Insisting that true salvation depends on getting the calendar exactly right — while labeling everyone else an apostate — is legalism dressed up as “restored truth.” Eastern skies for crescent moons. Must have completely slipped their minds in all

So there you have it, folks. If your pathetic little church isn’t making you take multiple weeks off work each year, banning Netflix on New Moons, teaching that Jesus is a created being who will return in a furious rage to re-impose the full Mosaic Law on everyone, and loudly declaring itself the only true church on the planet while the rest of us wallow in apostasy — well, according to Wade Cox and his elite band of moon-watchers, you’re probably doomed to eternal failure. How tragic.

It’s truly astonishing that the apostles somehow managed to plant churches all over the Roman Empire without ever mentioning these absolutely essential requirements like eight-day Unleavened Bread vacations, New Moon food purchases or cooking, or scanning the Middle Eastern skies for crescent moons. Must have completely slipped their minds in all the excitement of preaching the gospel of grace.

Thank goodness we have the Coxites to set the record straight after two thousand years. Because nothing captures the liberating joy of the New Covenant quite like turning Christianity into an exhausting game of “Who Can Keep the Most Obscure Old Covenant Rules While Claiming Everyone Else Is Apostate.” Grace? Pfft. Who needs that weak sauce when you can have legalism, sky-scanning, and a perpetually angry created Messiah instead?

True Christianity is defined by faith in the eternal Son of God who fulfilled the law for us, not by how strictly we police the skies for crescent moons or how many vacation days we sacrifice to prove our superior devotion. Grace still reigns — even if some groups would rather trade it for a perfectly observed calendar and a very, very angry returning Messiah.

The conclusion is now much more heavily sarcastic while still tying everything together clearly. Let me know if you'd like any further tweaks!

Thursday, April 9, 2026

Itchy, Snitchy, and Bitchy Preach An Absurd Program About Christianity and Islam Under Jesus

 



The first few minutes of this video will be all you will be able to handle. 

These three stooges have to be the most pathetic Armstrongist preachers you will ever listen to. Here we thought bouncing Bwana Bob was a mess, but these three are so bad I am shocked they have followers. It just goes to prove that certain Armstrongites will listen to anything and believe it to be true.