Crackpot Prophet Says He Is A Better Elijah Than HWA Was Because He Has Restored More Truths

The Church of God Clown Show is in full swing again today, with our resident Crackpot Prophet tooting his itty-bitty horn about how magnificent he is and how he’s revealed truths hidden even from Herbert W. Armstrong. How quickly he forgets: if Herbert were alive today, Crackpot Bob’s ass would’ve been booted out the church door so fast he wouldn’t know what hit him. Even Rod Meredith already kicked him to the curb once for his narcissistic presumptions. Real prophets learn their lesson. Fake, self-appointed ones just keep digging the hole deeper—with no way out.

Crackpot Bob is particularly perturbed that those wild and crazy folks in Edmond, Oklahoma, keep claiming Herbert W. Armstrong restored ALL things. He can’t stand it. According to him, Herbert didn’t restore squat. Only he—the Great Bwana, the Second Elijah—has restored all truth. Truth that poor old Herbert was never privy to. Stand in awe, peasants, of the Magnificent One!

"Malachi 3 continues: “and the Lord, whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple, even the messenger of the covenant, whom ye delight in: behold, he shall come, saith the Lord of hosts. But who may abide the day of his coming? And who shall stand when he appeareth? For he is like a refiner’s fire, and like fullers’ soap” (verses 1-2). … 

 

Herbert W. Armstrong expounded on this prophecy in a landmark sermon on Dec. 17, 1983. “As John the Baptist was the physical messenger in the physical wilderness of Jordan, so there would be a messenger with a message—with a voice crying out in the spiritual wilderness of the modern 20th century,” he said. “Preparing the way for … Jesus to come to His spiritual temple [speaking of the Church] … this time to set up the Kingdom of God and to rule.” 

 

Christ said this Elijah would “restore all things.” Mr. Armstrong then noted, “Now John the Baptist didn’t restore anything. They already knew about the law, and he called them to repentance; but he didn’t have to give them sermons about what all the law is. They knew that. He just called them to repent and turn to another way, and baptized them.”

The “restore all things” part of Christ’s statement is at the heart of what makes this the most pivotal end-time prophecy. 

 

There are many end-time prophecies, and people naturally tend to focus on the ones about wars and rumors of wars, earthquakes and supernatural disasters. Some people focus on things like blood moons. 

 

But this prophecy is what Jesus Christ focused on. 

 

This prophecy is directly connected with His Second Coming: He said this man would restore all truth within the Church just before the Day of the Lord. This is a sign of the nearness of Jesus Christ’s return that you must not ignore! 

 

And what makes this even more important is that this prophecy has already been fulfilled!"

But according to the Bible (and basic math), Herbert couldn’t possibly have been the end-time Elijah. He died in 1986, the “very end of the Church age” hasn’t arrived yet, and the 6,000 years from Adam aren’t up. Crackpot Bob helpfully points this out while dragging in Dibar Apartian and Aaron Dean like yesterday’s toilet paper—about as useful as either would be plugging a hole in a dam.ording torackpot Bob, Herbert cannot be the endtime Elijah:

But, according to the Bible, could Herbert W. Armstrong have been the Elijah to come (Matthew 17)?

Let’s start with Malachi 4:5-6, but as shown in the Jewish Publication Society translation:

Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet

Before the coming Of the great and terrible day of the LORD.

And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children,

And the heart of the children to their fathers;

Lest I come and smite the land with utter destruction.

Notice that the Elijah is to come just before the great and terrible day of the LORD, and if he did not come, utter destruction would occur.

Herbert W. Armstrong died in January 16, 1986.

Now let’s see what Herbert W. Armstrong actually wrote about the timing of the final Elijah:

Also Malachi 4:5-6 pictures the Elijah to come at the very end of the Church age (Mystery of the Ages. 1985, p. 349).

When did Herbert W. Armstrong write that the Church age was over? Notice:

At the end of the Church age and 6,000 years from Adam, Christ would return to earth as King of kings and Lord of Lords, ruling all nations, with the saints, for one millennium. (Armstrong HW. What If Adam Had Taken of the Tree of Life? Plan Truth, March 1983)

The “very end” of the Church age was not over 37 years ago! The 6000 years have NOT yet been fulfilled. Since the “very end of the Church age” has not happened, and Herbert W. Armstrong died decades ago, his writings support that there must be another Elijah. And he was referring to an individual in the Mystery of the Ages.

So who in the entire world could the entime Elijah be???? It is impossible to understand who this is. Oh, wait! Its none other than Crackpot Bob, teh Great Bwana! Woo Hoo!

But wait! Before he offers the proof that he is the choden one, he drags of Dibar Apartian and Aaron Dean. Apartian's words are about a suseless as a roll of toilet paper being used to plug a hole in a dam.

That being said, sometimes Herbert W. Armstrong did think that he may have fulfilled the Elijah role, but he told the late Dibar Apartian (who told me) that he was NOT the Elijah. Dibar Apartian did not believe that Herbert W. Armstrongwas the Elijah when we discussed this several times and he agreed with me about this. Furthermore, essentially on his deathbed, Herbert W. Armstrong admitted to his closest aide, Aaron Dean (who told me this multiple times) that there could be an Elijah to come after he died (see also The Elijah Heresies).

Combining what Herbert W. Armstrong wrote in The Mystery of the Ages and the length of time since his death demonstrates that Herbert W. Armstrong could not have been the final prophesied Elijah.

Crackpot Bob, The Great Bwana, then starts offering the PROOF that we should all be standing in awe of and trembling in fear that we are lost and without hope because we deny him.

Since the Bible does teach that there will be an ‘Elijah’ who is alive right before Jesus returns (Malachi 4:5-6), thus it is not possible that Herbert W. Armstrong was the prophesied final Elijah.

Now, presuming Jesus will return within the next couple of decades, then that ‘Elijah’ would need to be alive now. And he would be part of the church that places the highest priority on the truth.

Yet, most Christians seemingly refuse to accept that.

We in the Continuing Church of God are regularly restoring more truth about church history...

Then comes the grand reveal: since Jesus is obviously returning in the next decade (trust him, he’s checked), the real Elijah must be alive right now. And wouldn’t you know it, he just happens to be part of the one organization that places the “highest priority on truth”—the Continuing Church of God. What an amazing coincidence!

There is a 21st century Elijah, and that individual would be expected to be part of the Continuing Church of God.

Was the restoration of more knowledge supposed to happen?

Yes. 

 Herbert Armstrong later wrote that he was NOT a prophet:

I have definitely NOT been called to be a PROPHET (Armstrong H. Personal from the Editor, The 19 Year Time Cycles. The Good News of Tomorrow’s World. February, 1972, p. 1).

Since Herbert Armstrong was not a prophet, Elijah was a prophet (1 Kings 18:36), the Elijah to come is to be a prophet (Malachi 4:5), and the two witnesses will be prophets, Herbert W. Armstrong was not the Elijah to come

Crackpot Bob, the Great Bwana, argues that because Herbert Armstrong openly said he was NOT a prophet, he couldn’t have been Elijah (who was a prophet). Therefore, the job is still open… and guess who’s humbly volunteering? The same guy who’s already preached an entire sermon alluding to the fact that he might be one of the Two Witless Witnesses, too. (If only he talked about Jesus half as much as he talks about himself.)

Was John the Baptist the prophesied Elijah or at least a type of Elijah? Is there an Elijah to come? Have Sabbatarians been teaching this a long time? What were 18 truths that Herbert W. Armstrong said God had him restore? Was anything to be restored in the last days, consistent with Daniel 12:4 and Matthew 17:11? Was God supposed to restore dreams and prophets in the last days? Did the Worldwide Church of God teach such would happen again? Have we seen signs of Acts 2:17-18 in the Continuing Church of God? Is Bob Thiel the final Elijah or one of the two witnesses? Why or why not? Has there been the restoration of important truths in the CCOG? Is the CCOG at least setting the foundation for the 21st century Elijah? Dr. Thiel gives information relating to all of that in this sermon. 

He finishes by broadly flicking his limp wrist at anyone who dares disagree, labeling them Laodiceans—because nothing says “man of God” like rebranding everyone who won’t worship you as doomed.

Crackpot Bob, the Great Bwana, then goes on to preach another sermon on how magnificent he is. If only he talked about Jesus as much as he talks about himself!

Jesus stated that an Elijah to come would restore all things (Mathew 17:11). Did Herbert W. Armstrong restore anything? Consistent with Daniel 12:4, were there truths that were to be restored in the 21st century? What are some that have been restored? What about church history, the original catholic church, the faith once for all delivered to the saints, and apostolic succession? What were the last days signs of Acts 2:17-18? What about teachings on violent sports, the fulness of the Gentiles, using scores of languages to help fulfill Matthew 24:14, non-trinitarian ramifications, prophetic matters, the identity of the man of sin, Daniel 11:39 and the start of the Great Tribulation, the identity of Samaria, the connection between Habakkuk 2:1-8 and the United States of America, the final phase of the work, the mark of the Beast, and the third resurrection? Has the Continuing Church of God been restoring matters in the 21st century? Dr. Thiel addresses these questions and more. 

Oh, Bwana Bob. Sweet, self-anointed Bob. If humility were a spiritual gift, you’d still be begging for the crumbs under the table. You strut around declaring yourself the final Elijah, the restorer of all things, and possibly one of the Two Witnesses—all while producing more hot air than a Laodicean hair dryer. Newsflash, Great Bwana: real prophets don’t spend their waking hours writing sermons about how spectacular they are and how everyone else is too blind to see their brilliance. They don’t need to beg for awe; it follows them naturally.

You’re not restoring truth—you’re restoring your own bruised ego, one narcissistic sermon at a time. Keep polishing that itty-bitty horn, Crackpot. When the real Elijah shows up (or, heaven forbid, when Christ actually returns), your carefully crafted fantasy is going to collapse faster than your relevance in the real Church of God. Until then, enjoy your tiny kingdom. Clown shoes on, Bob. The show must go on.