Crackpot COG Prophet Gets Bent Out Of Shape Over April Fool's Day

 

Our favorite Chief Overseer of his African brethren and the modern-day embodiment of Elisha, Elijah, Amos and Andy, Johsua, and the most important and doubly blessed man the Church of God has ever been privileged to have in its midst, is back today getting his wholistic knickers into a homeopathic twist:

Today, it is April 1st on the Roman calendar.
Many people call the first day of April, “April Fools’ Day.” Notice something about it:

Today is April 1 — April Fool’s Day, if you will…in more recent times it’s chock full of good-natured pranks. But watch out; any scams or pranks can end up being costly. Case in point: Back in 2005, KBDS-FM radio conducted an April Fool’s giveaway for a Hummer, but used a play on words to actually give away an R/C model of a Hummer. The winner, Shannon Castillo, was not amused. She filed suit for $60,000, the cost of a new Hummer.
Beware of tax-related fraud and scams
Have you ever pranked a coworker?
Implausible, unexpected event occurred, will have terrible business impact on you

With that in mind, it’ a good idea to be hypercritical of anything you read online today. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505143_162-57577203/beware-hoaxes-can-be-costly/

Like any good COG prophet, the Great Bwana doesn't have to search far to find something to back up his nitpicking nuttiness.

Nasty unconverted people not only play innocent jokes on each other on April Fools Day, but they cause tax scams and other issues.

It's all lies brethren when someone plays an April Fools joke on you. All Lies! Woe is me! Oh, the humanity! Lies! Lies! Lies!

However, there is one glowing thing that is missing from Bwana Bob's whinefest list...

What about the lies of self-appointed COG prophets and false teachers in the church, of which he is one? Are not their lies even more damaging to people than some silly pranks? Destroying the spiritual and even physical life of members is far more damaging.

Never in the history of the Church of God have we had so many self-appointed men who are preaching the most idiotic things the church has ever heard. From Dave Pack's ongoing vomit stream of his creature, he calls "christ", that supposedly is returning every Friday and Saturday for the last several years to Gerald Flurry's supposed possession of the new coronation stone that his creature called "christ" is going to come back and sit his holy butt upon. From Bob Thiel's self-appointment and his endless diarrhea stream of prophetic bullshit that no one in Africa or the rest of the world gives a rats ass about, to Ronnie Weinland's failed return of his "christ" in 2008 and every year since.  The Church of God has in its midst the biggest bunch of FOOLS the church has ever seen!

Sadly people in all of these groups sit there and listen to these raving lunatics and their spiritual diarrhea week after week. Lives are being damaged spiritually and physically as members are losing their homes and businesses due to these guys stealing their money during their prophetic push to end God's work here on earth. Many have even lost their lives due to these FOOLS!

Bwana Bob Thiel is one of the Church of God's biggest liars and apparently has been playing April Fools jokes on us for over 10 years now. But like any good April Fools joke, we can laugh at him with the derision he deserves.

Happy April Fools Day Bwana Bob! Continue to keep us entertained!

 

LCG: Gerald Weston Upset That LCG Youth Are Going To Real Colleges Instead Of Living Education…I wonder why????

 

Those rebellious youth of LCG have decided they would rather get an education from an accredited college or university than the unaccredited so-called Living Education program the church offers in Charlotte. Words fail me, I CAN NOT understand why???????????? WHY??????????????

Apparently, it is not only the youth that ignores Living Education but their parents are UNAWARE (according to Weston) of the magnificent Living Education course! After all of these years of being bombarded in church publications and sermons about this supposed "education" church members finally woke up and realized it had little worth in the long-term life of their children. As a result, church members are sending their children off to real colleges and universities.

Even worse, when these kids head off to college they usually never return to LCG to attend church. I CAN NOT understand why??? WHY????

Dear Brethren, 

 

We held an online ministerial conference this Wednesday, and one of the topics I discussed was Living Education. Many parents are unaware of how much education has changed in the last decade. Too many young people go off to college or university and do not come back to Church. 

 

This has always been a problem, but far more so today. This is why Dennis Prager, a highly educated and articulate man, advises not to send your children to college, but if you do, do not expect them to come back with your values. Of course, this advice, as I’m sure he knows, has some caveats. Some young people are best suited for careers that require a university education. Those who seek such careers are usually more motivated toward study and may fare better than those who haven’t figured out what they want to do in life. So, what to do? 

 

Mr. Herbert Armstrong did not have a college education, but he was highly educated, self-educating himself in the field of his interest prior to God’s calling. Not everyone should be pushed into seeking a formal higher education, but those who do, need to do so in a smart way. Moving out and taking up residence at a university right out of high school is a prescription for disaster. We have seen this movie played out far too many times by young people and their parents who thought they could handle it. Here are some points to consider. 

Weston goes on to tell the youth of LCG to ONLY go to college if it is for SPECIFIC future employment. Male youth in LCG are apparently better suited for trade schools. Talk about dumbing down your youth!!

Only go to college if it is a requirement for specific future employment. Many young men, for example, are better suited to a job in the trades (construction of all kinds), and a trade school or apprenticeship should be considered. If seeking a university education, do so by living at home, carefully choosing your friends, and knowing what you believe about God and why. 

 

To this latter point, LivingEd–Charlotte should be seriously considered. This short, nine-month course will help you become more grounded in the truth and develop a deeper relationship with God. It helps prepare you emotionally, socially, and academically for whatever you choose for the future. Classes are reasonably demanding, on par with a freshman college level, but with a lot more individualized attention. Soft skills such as speaking, writing, and learning to think critically are of great value and will help any student, no matter which direction he or she goes afterward. 

 

Taking a year to go through LivingEd–Charlotte should not be viewed as a sacrifice, but a valuable enhancement for the future. It is not a ministerial training program, but a program to teach young people a way of life that will serve them well for this next stage of life as godly adults ready to be leaders and examples to the world. 

Weston has instructed his ministers to corner all soon coming graduates and their parents to steer them into Living Education. Where would the COG be without sticking its nose into members' lives?

If you are a young person and are interested or even curious about this program, please contact us for further information. If you are the parent of a young person, it is important for you to be involved in guiding your son or daughter at this critical time in their lives and I have asked our ministry to make themselves available to sit down and discuss this with you. We believe that for young people who take advantage of this unique opportunity, the greater their success in their future career, marriage, and life will be. This will also strengthen the Living Church of God, helping to fortify a generation of young men and women who know the Truth and have the understanding to defend it. 

 

Sincerely, in Christ’s service, Gerald Weston

Dave Pack: Sermon 360 - What a number to end on...STUNS me...STUNS me…THERE IS NO TIME FOR ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dave Pack continues his further decline into madness...

Like Bob Thiel, Dave gave himself a way out when the creature he calls "christ" does not return. 

I will deliver a more accurate prophecy: Dave's "christ" will NOT return Friday night or Saturday. That is a fact. Dave is a liar just like Bob Thiel.

"In conclusion...

I have given 360 messages and God KNOWS and all of you know from my comments, I don't know how many hundred times - I never intended to go to 360 messages...

WHAT a number to end on! The number of days and years. STUNS me...STUNS me...

There NO time for any more! And I DON'T know what I'd say next year that adds to what I said in OVER 700 hours, and 6 1/2 years, 360 messages.

It's like God wanted and is - we're writing a RECORD all of us brethren, as the little flock that goes 1st...

Did GOD want a record of 360 sermons? And it was NEVER gonna be LESS than that? It's divisible by 3, it's divisible by 12 - it's the number of foundations in many ways. That's the number 12, number of finality 3. It's also divisible by a number that I CAN RELATE TO - whether you can or not - it's divisible by 40, which is the number of trial and test - 9 times over! 9 times 40... Ok? WOW🤖...

It's also divisible by 30, the days of a month... Times 12...

The whole series, I mentioned to you - is gonna cover a period of 2331 days. That's divisible by 3, 7, 21 - NOW THAT IT'S OVER...

It's interesting, in the last 12 days, I have given 7 sermons, and 3 in-a-row to close - which is FASCINATING, last 12 days.

I HAVE KEPT MY CHARGE - I'M DONE... I'm done - and if you believe in Elul 1, and all the prophets - THEN YOU KNOW.

Now - FINAL comment ...

I want to just close with the ONLY WAY TO CLOSE...

IF Abib 1 comes and goes - I'D STILL GO DAY BY DAY - in fact I WILL!

The alternative is YEARS - somehow, maybe Abib 1, is NOT THE DAY - but 13 prophets and apostle and Christ POINT to Abib - and I think MANY verses DIRECTLY to Abib 1, and I don't know HOW, they point to Abib 1.

But what I KEEP WATCHING? And we go on into it, because maybe MAYBE God DOESN'T WANT US to know the day the 1st Kingdom starts as well? YES I WOULD - I WOULD...

Can I explain to you sitting here now - HOW all the verses that point to Abib 1 don't EXACTLY mean Abib 1, but some time NEAR it? No I CAN'T - I CAN'T DO THAT😭...

But I'm JUST telling you, I'm gonna KEEP WATCHING FOR A PERIOD OF TIME... I'm gonna GUARD THE WHOLE MONTH☠️, and that's JUST the way I'm gonna do it.

But if you ask me: Do you think THERE'S A CHANCE we're gonna go past tomorrow night? I would say NO - I've got a WHOLE LOT OF VERSES - I DON'T THINK there's a chance...

It's like they're all watching on a night, keep your lights burning, and it's gonna be some time at night, which would be morning in Jerusalem, it looks like Sabbath morning in Jerusalem...

Christ comes back on a Friday night - Sabbath morning in Jerusalem. Everybody WOHHH, Christ arises in their hearts- some days out. And he's gonna give them light. It looks like a Sabbath morning.

So it ALL lays out - all lays out PERFECTLY!

IF we believe it's a Sabbath, then I don't know HOW you get - I mean, I'll say ONE thing: It's EAAAASY for all of us to be comfortable to watch all the way through the Sabbath, it's easy - OF COURSE.

It MAY NOT BE TOMORROW NIGHT. It MIGHT BE Sabbath morning - I DON'T KNOW🤖... That's the 1st thing YOU SHOULD SAY.

But I DON'T KNOW HOW to conclude 6 1/2 years WITHOUT talking about WHAT HAPPENS IF Abib 1 PASSES?!!

The choice is MORE days OR MORE years... I don't see HOW THAT CAN BE!

I've read the Bible FAITHFULLY, it's GOTTA BE MALAY TILL the man BLASTS. It's GOTTA BE PRESENT ACTIVE - THERE IS NOTHING☠️PAST 360. - Dave Pack

God speed tomorrow night OR WHATEVER hour OR exactly how it plays out - and that is TRULY THE END OF THE GREATEST UNTOLD STORY - Good night...





One little comment: He did NOT end with a TOTAL of 360 Parts. Last year, he had 7-8 messages called "The end" - which he did NOT "consider" to be part of the series. So he is basically near at 370 parts...

The World Tomorrow - New podcast

 

Check out the latest from Glynn Washington, a former COG member and featured on the popular Snap Judgement Podcast.

The story behind the story of Glynn Washington… on life growing up in an apocalyptic cult like you’ve never heard before. Snap Judgment presents, “The World Tomorrow,” 

from Love & Radio with Nick van der Kolk.

Love & Radio features in-depth, otherworldly-produced interviews with an eclectic range of subjects, from the seedy to the sublime. It’s hosted by Nick van der Kolk who is a Snap Alum! Listen & subscribe to Love & Radio on your favorite podcast player… you won’t regret it.

If you haven’t already, be sure to also check out The Secrets Hotline podcast from Love & Radio. Share your secret and read others on Instagram.

Produced by Nick van der Kolk, Andrew Gill, Nicki Stein & Phil Dmochowski. Contributing Editor: Steven Jackson

Artwork by Teo Ducot

Season 13 – Episode 15

Breaking: Naomi Irion, Daughter of Ambassador University Alumni Who Was Kidnapped, Has A Sad Ending

The remains of missing teenager Naomi Irion were discovered in a remote area of Nevada, 17 days after she was abducted from a Walmart parking lot.

Investigators found the 18-year-old's body at a gravesite in an undisclosed area of Churchill County, the sheriff's office confirmed Wednesday, just hours after her accused kidnapper appeared in court via Zoom. 

Officials said they found the body Tuesday night at around 9 pm after receiving a top that led them to the rugged mountains located about 150 miles from where she was abducted in Fernley.

Surveillance footage from the morning of her disappearance, showed Irion sitting in the driver's seat while she waited for a company shuttle to take her to her job at Panasonic. 

A man wearing a hoodie - believed to be Driver - was filmed approaching her vehicle after circling the area. 

It's unclear if she was in the store at the time he broke into the vehicle or if she was in the car, but footage shows the pair driving off with the suspect in the driver's seat. 

The pair then drove out of the lot with the man behind the wheel. Her abandoned car was found on March 15 near a paint manufacturing facility in an industrial park along Interstate 80 less than a mile away from the Walmart store.  

Valley said earlier his sister usually catches a bus from the Walmart lot to work at a Reno-area Panasonic facility. He contacted family members and authorities after she failed to arrive at work and didn't return home that weekend. 

Irion's family claimed the teen went on a date with an unknown man the day before she vanished and had complained about being sexually harassed at work.  

Panasonic knew about the harassment and had handled it 'internally,' according to her brother.   

Before authorities announced that her body had been identified, Valley told reporters Wednesday that the family appreciated the support from the community and praised efforts by sheriff's deputies and federal agents to find his sister. 

Breaking news: Remains of kidnapped woman Naomi Irion, 18, were found in remote area of Nevada just hours before suspect appeared in court

 

Naomi Irion, 18, found deceased in Nevada after being kidnapped from Walmart parking lot: police

Body of 18-year-old Naomi Irion found in remote area of Churchill County

Missing Nevada woman Naomi Irion found dead after being kidnapped