Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Are You "SAD" Because You Don't Believe In A Literal Adam and Eve?



E. W. King thinks so! You are such a sad lot of people!  You believe in UFO's and all kinds of beasties, but not in Adam and Eve.  So sad! Sad, Sad, Sad!  So really, really sad!

Those sad people….what will they think of next?
There are many who have decided that God is not powerful enough to create a literal Adam & Eve. They doubt every story in the Bible. Why? I call these people, “sad people”. This is so amazing. These people believe in extraterrestrials, flying saucers, gurus who can levitate and make things appear out of nowhere, etc yet they spit in God’s face.

Is King upset that people don't believe in Adam and Eve or the fact that he has been labeled a fundamentalist?  I think that is more of an issue to him than people questioning the Bible.

They think that this way they will sound much smarter than those “old fashion” fundamentalists. That word,… “Fundamentalist” …..hhhmmm. That word is not in the Bible. I guess this is a title that the “sad people” want to label true Christians with. It gives the sad people a sense of authority.
 
[I use the title, “Sad People” in response to their title, “fundamentalist”]

So what happens when you reject Adam and Eve? You turn into a pro-abortion gay drug user.


So now, let us look at how these poor sad people live, those who think that the Bible is make-believe. Some are homosexuals; some believe in abortion, some use drugs. 

Oh, and you watch American Idol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Sad!  So very very sad!


Hhhmmm. Again, these sad people who reject the Bible sit and read stories of Buddha, little fairies, make believe space aliens and watch American Idol
So what is there left for a poor non believer to do?  You cuss! You curse, and cuss, and curse.....

They think that their little pea brain has all the answers. Sad, sad people. They cuss and curse, they cheat and lie, they abuse their relationships and their bodies. This is the fact!

Once you have sunken to this low moral cesspool there is only one place left to go.  STARBUCKS!


Many of these types sit at coffee shops with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths. They begin sentences like; “Yes, the mythological stories of all the religions are basically teaching the same thing. Oh, did you see the recent extraterrestrial documentary? The ET’s are watching us.” Sad, sad people. These fundamentally decadent people.
Then, after you have reached your caffeine high that is causing you to turn into an atheist, you have the moral dilemma to consider whether to go home and feed your dog or go to Burger King.  Such tough decisions!  Obviously, cussing coffee drinking gay abortionists can't make up their minds on what to do. Does one feed Rover or get a Whopper with cheese.

The subtlety of their theological errors is what I began to notice. Most of them are atheists. Doesn’t take much to start believing the wrong way. Doesn’t take much to swallow bad food, drugs and false doctrine. People just jump right in. They want to be with the crowd. It is so much safer in the “big group”. The perverted and doctrinally twisted herd. It’s like deciding: “Hhhhmm, should I feed the dog today or go to Burger King.”

There you have it folks!  The sad life of a questioning nonbeliever.

Those Sad People

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG! What is there that can be said?

Anonymous said...

Anyone care for a game of straw man dominoes? Such an abundance of words, yet a total absence of meaning.

Assistant Deacon said...

Ewwww King made me laugh with this nonsense, so I guess I'm happy now. He just can't win for losing.

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

I am with anonymous 9:52 AM. What is there that can be said over a Starbucks cofffee?

Richard

Anonymous said...

And Scientologists are just shocked and dumbfounded that people like those in Armstrongist cults could ever reject a religion like Scientology, since it is THE absolute truth -- they just KNOW it!

And like Scientology, we ask the Armstrongists, based on what exactly?

British Israelism?

Ellen G. White's history of the true church?

Some kook who managed to yell louder than most anyone else on radio and then on television (not to mention yelling in ALL CAPS IN WHAT HE WROTE!!!!!!!??!!)?

Why should we believe in a sci-fi alternative earth history given by a sociopath? (Either Armstrongism or Scientology can be used as the target of this question.)

Matt said...

OMG coffee makes you gay! I better tell my wife the terrible news: after years of drinking the stuff, I must be gayer than a tree full of monkeys by now...

Frank said...

Now I know why I am gay. Too much coffee. All that praying and fasting to cure myself and here I could have just eliminated coffee. Damn!

Anonymous said...

I've always believed in a literal Adam and Eve but NOT a literal "fall" of Adam and Eve. The so-called "fall" story isn't even about a fall, and with its talking snake and magical trees, it is clearly some kind of allegory.